AN: Here's the thing - I love Marty and always rooted for him to be with Rory. And I love Rory, but sometimes she could be quite shitty. So if he couldn't be with her, then I wanted him to QUIT BEING SUCH A DOORMAT AND CALL RORY OUT ON HER BULLSHIT ALREADY. For this reason, Jews and Chinese Food is packed with painful moments for me. This is just one way Marty could have been less of a doormat in that episode. As usual, I don't own anything (except maybe Marty's spine since ASP never gave him one).
On his way to the library, Marty rubbed his eyes to try to get some of the fuzziness out of his head even though he knew the efforts were futile. Too many days of working extra shifts, writing papers, and finding any campus activity to keep his schedule packed lead to too many nights of insufficient sleep. However, it was worth it. If Marty kept himself well occupied, he wouldn't notice what he was missing out on.
For a moment, he considered slapping himself across the cheek. Marty needed coffee and he needed it now. Unfortunately, the nearest cart was by Roth Hall, which was Rory-territory. He checked his watch. She'd be at the newspaper now, so the coast was clear.
As he waited for his coffee to be made, Marty questioned his behavior.
Am I being a stalker if I'm tracking someone's whereabouts in order to avoid her? This is more like reverse-stalking, and that's not creepy ... is it?
He reached out to take the cup. The life-saving liquid was almost at his lips.
"Now that's a manly sized cup of coffee," a familiar voice piped up from behind him.
Great.
Marty turned around and found Rory standing there with that happy, expectant expression of hers, like nothing in the world was wrong between them. "Uh, yeah. I, uh, I worked late, and I had a paper and I didn't get a lot of sleep-."
"Marty," she said, interrupting his babble. "You never have to apologize for a huge cup of coffee to me."
"Right. I know." I just forgot. That's what happens when you lose touch with someone. He turned to walk away, not wanting to deal with this situation anymore.
"So you've been pretty busy lately, huh?" Rory asked, trotting along to keep up with him.
"Uh, yes." Manufactured busy counted, right?
"Working a lot?"
Marty frowned inwardly, trying to figure out the journalist's line of questioning. "Yes."
"Studying a lot?" she continued.
He angled his head away and rolled his eyes. "Yes."
"So that's probably why I haven't seen you very much."
He stopped and faced her with a quizzical expression. "Really?"
"What?" Rory asked innocently.
"You're putting this on me?"
"Putting what on you? I'm not trying to put anything on anyone."
"You make it sound like my busy schedule was the only reason we haven't seen each other. I think it's safe to say you've been a little busy yourself."
"I was just trying to give you an opening to say if you're mad at me. You avoided me the other day whet I called out to you, so I know our collective busy-ness isn't the only reason."
Marty shook his head and furrowed his brow. "I don't think so. If you wanted to hear me say I'm mad at you, you'd ask me directly. Instead, you act like nothing's wrong, putting me in the awkward position of ruining the friendly vibe if I wanted to say something. No, this is you trying to reassure yourself that I'm not mad at you because you know I have every reason to be and you can't deal with that because you need everyone to like you."
Rory crossed her arms and squirmed. "Fine. So what are you mad about?" she asked meekly.
His frown disappeared and his face softened. "I'm not mad at you, Rory." She relaxed in relief. "I'm just ... hurt that you ditched me."
Her features contorted in discomfort again. "I didn't ditch you. I bailed out of my newspaper meeting to see if you wanted to do something this weekend."
"Why? Is Logan out of town?" he asked sarcastically. At Rory's guilty expression, Marty let out a rueful laugh. "He is, isn't he?"
"Yes, but I also missed you," she said defensively.
He shut his eyes to hide the pain. "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Lie like that."
"I'm not lying."
Marty opened his eyes and fixed her with a piercing stare. "Really? Then how many times did I pop into your head before you and your mom noticed me the other day?"
"I don't know," Rory mumbled.
"Or how many times did you stop by my room to see if I was around? And did my phone just happen to stop telling me about all your missed calls?"
She looked away wordlessly.
"So don't tell me you missed me when the truth is, seeing me just reminded you I existed and you felt bad about ditching me. And don't expect me to be so grateful that you finally want to hang out again when it's just because you're bored."
Rory scowled at him. "Why am I the jerk when your schedule is just as hectic and you didn't do any of those things either?"
"Because originally it wasn't, and I did do all those things. Well, except calling your cell. After stopping by or calling your room countless times and either getting no answer or an impatient response from Paris - 'She's helping Logan write an article.' 'She told me to keep the line free in case Logan called.' 'She's at Logan's apartment.' - I guess I just couldn't let myself become that pathetic friend who leaves messages on your phone that would just get ignored. So I filled my days with anything and everything that would help me stop noticing that you weren't around anymore. That's what missing someone feels like."
She looked sincerely pained when she reached out and touched his arm. "Marty, I'm sorry. I really am."
He looked at her hand and then up to her eyes. Despite how good it felt to call her out, Marty just couldn't stay mad at her. He shook his head. "It was my own fault."
Rory frowned in confusion and she pulled her arm away. "What do you mean?"
"You started paying attention to Logan because of me. I told you he liked you. And that was stupid of me because what I should have told you..." Marty swallowed hard. Well, he didn't have to worry about ruining their friendship anymore. "Was that I liked you."
She stared at him in stunned silence.
He dropped his gaze, knowing this wasn't going well. "I'm not saying that if I had, you would have automatically starting liking me back like you did with Logan. But at least I would have given myself a chance instead of sending your attention elsewhere." Marty looked up again and shrugged. "So maybe it's for the best that you ditched me. I never could have cut you out and it would have been too hard to watch you with a new boyfriend up close."
Rory bit her lip.
"Okay then," he said with an awkward laugh. "I should be going so, uh, take care, okay?" Marty walked away with a grimace. It's not like he expected her to jump into his arms, though he wouldn't have minded if she did. But he thought she might say something.
"He's not my boyfriend," Rory called out.
Marty stopped and processed what she was telling him. He turned around. "So you two aren't dating?"
She took a few steps toward him. "No, we are, but just casually. No strings attached. We can date other people."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"I just thought you should know that if you wanted to ask me out sometime, you could."
Marty stared at her. Rory was self-absorbed and oblivious at times, but she wasn't cruel. She wouldn't tell him this if she was intending to say no to such an invitation. Then he considered what would happen if she accepted. "Thanks, but I don't think I can."
Rory let out a nervous laugh. "I don't understand."
"Casual dating isn't for me and I'd be lying to myself if I said it was. I'm a one girl kinda guy and prefer it when the girl is the same way."
"So this is it, then. We just go back to ignoring each other?"
Marty gave her a sheepish smile. "Well, I promise I won't duck around a corner when I see you, as long as you don't act like nothing's changed when we run into each other."
Rory nodded in agreement, then added wistfully, "I wish things hadn't changed."
I wish they had. "It is what it is," Marty said with a shrug. "But listen, if you ever find yourself not dating someone, I hope you'll let me know."
She nodded and the two waved their farewell.