Written for Suprockstar at Luvlikerocketz Halloween on LJ. It was never posted, so I'm posting it myself. Sorry it's past Halloween and all. Disclaimer: JKR owns is all, blah blah blah, I own nor make nothing, blah blah blah.

"So, let me get this straight, Granger," Draco drawled, eyeing a bowl of cooked spaghetti noodles. "We're supposed to create a fake haunted house to scare some Muggle ankle bitters, but not make it too scary, all so they can have a good time on Halloween?"

"That's the idea," Hermione said absentmindedly as she dumped a bunch of grapes in a mold full of red gelatin.

"That's the barmiest idea I've-" Guilt rushed through him at the hurt look on her face. "I've never heard. This is a brilliant plan, absolutely smashing!"

"You really think so?" she asked, tenuous hope lacing her voice.

"Smashing pumpkins, maybe," he muttered under his breath. "Yes, the little nippers will love it."

Smiling genuinely at him, she put the finishing touches on her graveyard cupcakes. "There. Now all we need is a fog machine and we're all set."

"Tell me again why we can't use magic?" he groused petulantly. "We could have actual ghosts and real eyeballs floating in blood to scare the-"

"Draco Malfoy!" she hissed, darting her eyes around the area they were currently setting up in. "First of all, this is a Muggle youth center, and there's no magic allowed around Muggles. And second, knowing your idea of terror, the children would be in therapy the rest of their lives."

"I'm not that bad!" he countered.

"You dressed up as a nun and caught the back of your habit in the waistband of your shorts after visiting the loo last year," she reminded him, trying not to grin. "Not only did several Catholic priests need counseling, but I know I needed to scrub my eyes out when my grandfather pinched your arse."

Grumbling, he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her. "Your grandfather is a right perv."

"No, Draco," she said, laughing lightly. "You just make a pretty nun."

"Maybe I should join a coven, then," he mocked threateningly. "Swear off men, pray unceasingly everyday."

"Don't you mean a convent?" She snickered. "And you'd have to take a vow of chastity… and poverty… and…"

"Enough!" He pulled her into his tight embrace. "Either of those alone would ensure that I would never consider such a thing."

"That's good." She brought her lips to his ear and nipped the lobe. "I'd hate to tell our future children that daddy went and had a sex change operation so he could become Sister Mary Malfoy."

He closed his eyes in ecstasy when her tongue traced the shell of his ear. "Definitely won't be a problem, love."

Seeing the effect she was having on him, she grinned and shooed him away, pushing him near the door. "Now, off with you!"

"Fog machine and my costume, right?" he asked, looking at the address on the slip of paper she handed him. "What kind of costume did you reserve for me?"

"Erm, well, it was sort of last minute, so I had to take what they had left," she replied, cringing.

"Granger…" he hissed in warning.

"You're going to be late!" she said, voice full of panic. "It's not that bad, you'll see."

"Famous last words," he muttered and headed out the door.

~*~

"What do you mean they didn't have a fog machine? I had it reserved with your costume!"

"Apparently, the reservation was under the name Green, and someone already picked it up," Draco grumbled as he set a box down on the table. "So they shoved this in my hands and wished me good luck trying to find a fog machine this late on Halloween."

Lifting the lid, she stared at the contents. "I think this is your costume." She pulled out a bright-blue lamé frock with fluorescent-yellow stars scattered all over the cloth.

"What the bloody hell is that?"

She unfolded the fabric to show him the full costume. "Erm, a Wizard?"

Looking the gaudy, tacky thing up and down, he sneered and backed away. "No self-respecting wizard would be caught dead in that getup, Granger. I'll not demean myself, even for you."

Tears filled her eyes. "We can't get the university credit for Muggle Social Studies if we don't complete this project, and we can't complete this project if you won't dress up and observe the children inconspicuously, and you won't dress-"

He stopped her tirade with a firm kiss to her pouty lips. "All right, love, I'll wear the bloody outfit." Pulling away from her somewhat, he tilted his head and waggled his eyebrows. "So does this mean I get to use my wand?"

Chewing on her bottom lip, she frowned. "Well, since you're willing to wear the horrid-" She noticed his moue of disgust. "Yes, I admit it's utterly stereotypical in design, revolting in its colour choice, and-"

"Just say, Draco, my love, of course you may use your wand, you're the best boyfriend, ever." He nuzzled her nose, trying to make her laugh, eager to relieve some of the stress regarding the situation. "Think you can do that?"

"No," she retorted primly, holding back a grin. "But I can say, Draco, my love, please use it sparingly, and only for little things." She pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Will that do?"

Cupping her face, he fully tasted her lips before moving away, pulling out a triangular piece of cloth from the box. "I still say I'm the best boyfriend ever," he muttered, donning the ridiculous pointy wizard hat. "How does this look?"

She cringed and smiled wanly. "Perfect." Her eyes softened. "And, yes, you're the best boyfriend. Any girl would be crazy to think otherwise."

"As long as you think so; that's all I care about." He pulled the vulgar frock over his head and heaved a resigned sigh. "Bring on the Muggles."

~*~

Keeping notes on how many children entered the haunted house attraction and their ages - per their university class requirements - Hermione eyed the pre-teen currently making his way inside, knowing a bully at a hundred paces, and she prayed that if Draco ran into him, he wouldn't do something… rash.

~*~

"So, what really scares you, Timothy?" Draco asked a five-year old, who was staring wide-eyed into a bowl of what looked like floating eyeballs.

"Bubbles," the frail child whimpered, stepping away from the table the bowl was sitting on.

Draco halted his scribbling. "Bubbles?" he echoed for clarification. "Why bubbles?"

The toe-headed youngster clutched his goodie bag closer to his chest. "When they pop, it stings my eyes."

"Oh, really?" Draco drawled, as he crouched down in his outlandish costume. "Well, it just so happens I'm a wizard, and I know a few spells that would keep them from popping."

"That's a load of horse shite."

Rising to his full height, Draco looked at the taller kid who'd recently sidled up behind Timothy. Older, an air of superiority, mouthy – all of it screamed bully. He recognized the tactic from his early years, grimacing with the knowledge but prepared to stop the intimidator, nonetheless.

"Watch your mouth, boy," Draco growled, looking him in the eye, clapping his hands over Timothy's ears. "There are young ones about and they don't need to be picking up new words to toss at their mums and dads."

"You're not my parent so you can just bugger off!" the overgrown weasel spat. Spying Timothy's candy bag, he pointed at it. "Give it to me or I'll give you a good wallop."

The smaller boy hunched over the sack protectively and looked at Draco pleadingly, shooting an ache straight to his heart. Is this what Hermione had felt all those times he'd bullied her? Merlin, what a rat's arse he'd been.

Pulling the diminutive child behind his fake robes to shield him, Draco smiled mischievously at the toerag. "You want to see one of those non-popping bubble spells, Timothy?" In the back of his mind, he was glad those were the only two children within his immediate vicinity.

"Y-yes, sir," his little voice quivered.

Draco laid the end of his wand against his lips and whispered, "Infragilis ebullio draconis," then proceeded to blow across the wand's tip, producing a bubble in the shape of a sizable dragon.

Timothy hid his face in the folds of Draco's costume, but the shoddily dressed wizard gently tapped on his head and told him to watch what happened.

The dragon stopped growing when it was about five feet in length, its see-through mouth holding a hazy fog that gave it definition and shape. Its eyes glowed red and its tail swished, all the while staring hungrily at the miscreant that dared threaten the boy currently clutching Draco's leg.

"Oppugno!" the blond hissed, sending the dragon to chase after the now frightened brat.

Both watched the bubble-dragon slither around, laughing at the bully's screams, as the iridescent beast snapped at his heels. "See? Bubbles can be useful," Draco pointed out as he kneeled next to Timothy, snickering at how the future youthful offender was pursued right out through the exit.

"C-can I have one to keep?" the boy asked hesitantly. "Except, not a dragon."

Looking to either side conspiratorially, Draco motioned him closer and whispered, "Only if you promise to never show it to anyone. It'll disappear if you do."

Timothy smiled for the first time, revealing that one of his front teeth was missing. "I promise."

"Let's see then," Draco said thoughtfully. "How about… a puppy?"

"Oh, yes!" the child clapped excitedly.

"Infragilis ebullio canis," the real wizard murmured, then once more blew across the tip of his wand, this time creating an unbreakable bubble in the shape of a miniature puppy.

Hearing Timothy's laughter as the puppy shook itself and began licking the boy's face, Draco grinned, and leaned against a support column, knowing he'd done a good thing. He listened to footsteps approaching them, so he cleared his throat, indicating Timothy should hide the pup.

"Draco?"

"Over here!" he yelled to Hermione, his voice directing her where to find him in the darkness.

"What was that?" she fumed, tapping her foot, hands on hips.

He gave her an innocent look. "Don't know what you're talking about."

Glancing at the child standing next to him, she realized they both looked guilty. "There was a boy that just ran out of the attraction screaming that magic bubbles were going to eat him." She arched a brow. "Care to explain that?"

"Mister Draco kept him from pinching my sack, Miss Granger," Timothy piped up in defense of his hero. "He was a baby and afraid of some bubbles."

Covering his mouth with his hand to keep from chuckling, Draco gave Hermione a pointed look. "That's the story."

She pursed her lips but relented. "Well, I think your parents are waiting for you, Timothy. Best hurry along," she advised.

After watching him disappear, she turned back to her boyfriend and smirked. "Bubbles?"

Draco shrugged. "The kid was a prat." He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled just underneath her ear. "And bubbles were the most harmless thing I could think of."

"It's a good thing I love you, Draco," she sighed, returning his embrace.

Pressing a kiss to her temple, he smiled. "It is, indeed."