a/n: Hey, I'm Hayden. And this is my first story 'Take My Hand.' Sorry about the really corny title, I suck at those. This is rated T for some language. Please review and tell me what you guys think of it! Constructive criticism is always welcome but don't forget that this is my first chapter of my first story and I don't usually write this kind of stuff soo... Enjoy (:
Characters:
Miley Cyrus as Miley Stewart
Nick Jonas as Nicholas Gray
Demi Lovato as Demi Torres
More characters to be announced later as they come into the story...
Take My Hand
c h a p t e r o n e
For Miley and Nick, it was like learning how to ride a bike when you were five. Each time you fell, you kept trying. You kept trying, hoping the next time would finally be when you were able to pedal all the way down the sidewalk without falling, without getting bruised. But Miley was going on her fourth round of InVitro because the first three had failed. And there were only so many bruises she could take before she started breaking.
---
"Babe," Nick says to Miley in a whisper. They are in the waiting room of their fertility doctor, painstakingly waiting for their name to be called.
"What?" Miley asks him, having been pulled away from her thoughts.
"You're shaking. Everything is going to work this time, it's all going to work out," he tells her, trying to reassure his wife. He is trying to stay positive, telling her it will be alright but the truth is, he doesn't even know himself. Each time they have found out the fertility treatments had failed, he broke from seeing his wife get slightly more depressed each time the doctor told them the bad news. He doesn't want her to feel like that anymore. That's why last night he prayed and prayed, that God would give Miley a baby. Just one, precious, healthy baby. Boy or girl. He just wanted his wife to be happy because he knows that no matter what he does, gifts or vacations, nothing will make her as happy as a baby will.
"I'm sorry. I'm nervous," she admits to him. As he takes her hand in his and gently squeezes it, Miley's name is called.
"Miley Gray," an overweight middle-aged nurse reads off a clipboard.
"Here," Miley says as she gets up from the stiff waiting room couch they were sitting on. Nick follows behind her as the nurse leads the both of them into the exam room.
-
"Mrs. Gray, how are you?" a cheery Dr. Winters says as she pushes open the door. She smiles warmly at Miley, as they have grown quite close over the past two years. Two years of failed pregnancies.
"I'm very well, Dr. Winters. Thank you," she lies.. Truth is, she's terrified. Heartbroken. Depressed. Hopeful.
"And you, Mr. Gray?"
"Fine, thanks," Nick tells Dr. Winters. He gives Miley's hand another squeeze, and she looks at him, grateful he is at her side.
"So, I wanted to talk to you both before we head into the other room and begin the procedure," Dr. Winters informs them.
"Is everything okay? The embryos, they're fine?" Miley quickly goes into panic mode. Dr. Winters smiles at her slight anxiety.
"Yes, everything is perfectly fine but, this is your fourth time doing this procedure. And, since the first three weren't successful..."
"You're saying this will be the last try?" Nick asks.
"I'm saying that it might be the best for both Miley and you, and her uterus for that matter, if we stopped for awhile after this one. If, in fact, this one is unsuccessful, I might recommend other options," she explains to Miley and Nick.
"Other options as in adoption and surrogacy? But, Dr. Winters, you know I want to carry my own baby. I want to know what that feels like," Miley whispers, tears pooling in the corners of her blue-gray eyes.
"Miley, I know you do. But as your doctor, your health comes first to me. I'm not saying never try again, I'm simply saying we should not pursue it for awhile. Let your body gain it's strength back. These unsuccessful pregnancies and implantations do take a toll on you," the doctor explains.
"Oh, I see," a shaking Miley says. She holds onto Nick's hand, never letting go, and stares at the tiled floor. "But, hey, who said this one will be unsuccessful, right?" she murmurs, bouncing back and snapping out of her state of confusion, shock, sadness.
"That's the right attitude, Miley," Dr. Winters agrees. "The nurse will get you prepped and I'll see you in there, okay?"
Miley and Nick both nod, and as Nick looks at his wife, he can't help but see the hurt that lies in her eyes.
-
Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out, Miley repeats over and over to herself silently. She lies on the examination chair/table in the cool, blue room where Dr. Winters will be performing the procedure. She hates how familiar the room is to her. It isn't supposed to be something she had memorized.
She knows the drawer where the latex gloves are kept; second in, third one down. She knows where the awaiting embryos are kept; in the refrigerator, fourth shelf. She hates how she knows where everything is, every single thing's spot.
Miley crosses her arms over her stomach as Dr. Winters, clad in her usual dark blue scrubs, enters the room. "This one's going to work, Miley, I know it," she states. Even though Miley can't see half of Dr. Winters face because her mask is covering it, she knows she is smiling and, she knows she means what she said.
-
"Done already?" Nick asks as he stands up from the chair he was previously slumped in. Waiting for her never gets any easier.
She nods, clearly still feeling a little down and upset.
Nick slides his hand into hers, feeling her hand mold to his comfortably. "So, feel pregnant yet?" he asks as they walk through the parking lot, toward their car.
She lets out a laugh and her eyes gleam for a second, but they quickly return to their duller appearance even as the smile lingers on her face. "No, but I do feel like if I don't keep my legs up, these things are going to fall out of me."
Now, it's his turn to laugh. "I'll make sure you stay in bed for weeks, until were one thousand percent positive that those babies have latched on."
"Ew, could you not word it like that? Makes me want puke," Miley whines.
"Puke? Like morning sickness? Mi, do you feel sick already?" Nick questions.
"Nick! If you don't shut up, I'll smack you. AND, make you sleep on the couch."
"I honestly wouldn't mind, Mi, that couch is really comfortable."
"I wasn't talking about that one, idiot. I'm talking the one in the basement," she says as she slides into the car, feeling the leather seats mold to her body.
"The one in the basement? Miles, my grandpa had that couch when he was in the nursing home!"
"Yeah, so?"
"Do you not remember the certain things he could not control? Why do you think he was in the nursing home in the first place!" he exclaims, completely disgusted by the the thought of actually sleeping on that... thing they called a couch.
"Oh. I guess I do remember now. Oh, well," she lies. She smiles to herself as Nick nervously bounces his leg as their car smoothly pulls out of the parking lot.
-
"Do you feel pregnant yet?"
"Dem, that's the same thing Nick asked me! No, I do not feel pregnant," Miley half-yells into the phone as she speaks to her best friend, Demi.
"Well, in my opinion it's a completely logical question."
"I'm not going to feel pregnant until my stomach is the size of a beach ball, the baby is kicking the hell out of me or until I can't see my feet because my stomach is so big. And since none of those things are happening..."
"Fine, I get it. You don't feel pregnant."
"Exactly."
"I hope you are, though," Demi sighs.
"I hope I am too," Miley murmurs, her heart dropping a little. She really, really wants a baby. It isn't that much to ask for, right?
"It's going to happen, Mi. You and Nick will have a baby and you'll be complete. It just might take some time."
"Yeah, time I don't want it to take. I'm too impatient. I've wanted a baby for so long... I just thought it'd be so much easier than it has been. It's been like hell for me, Dem," she says to her best friend.
"I know, sweetie. You have nothing to stress about this time, those babies will latch on and-"
"Demi!"
"What?" Demi questions, confused.
"That's the exact same thing Nick said."
"Oh. My bad?"
Miley groans. "I'll talk to you later, Demi. I got to go make dinner."
"You still make dinner? Wow, you really are wonder woman."
"Don't you?"
"If you call heating up take-out leftovers cooking..."
-
Miley and Nick's quest for a baby all started two months after they got married. They got married fairly young, at twenty-two but that didn't seem to affect Miley's want for a baby of their own. She wanted to have a belly, knowing her baby was growing inside of her, even if it made her fat. She wanted to be able to scream and practically break Nick's hand during labor even though it would be painful. She wanted to hold the tiny baby in her arms, not caring if it was a boy or a girl, just that he or she was healthy and was theirs. She just wanted it so bad.
Two months into their marriage, they started "trying". And for seven months after that, it didn't seem to be working. Miley figured the root of the problem was something besides bad timing. Both Miley and Nick went to their respective doctors, trying to figure out which one of them was the reason. Turns out, Miley was.
Some disorder that has an incredibly long, medical name was the problem. Hence the infertility, hence the inVitro.
-
Miley's POV. (a/n: I usually won't skip around between POV's)
Sometimes I wonder if I'm completely insane. I'm only twenty-five. I've been married for two freakin' years. And for those two years, we've been trying for a baby. Sounds pretty darn insane to me. I've had a lot of time to think, too much if you ask me. I ask myself, "Why am I doing this? Why am I trying so hard for something I might not get? I'm only half way through my twenties, shouldn't I be getting drunk or stoned or both?"
And as always, I don't have an answer. Except, there is this tiny voice in the back of my mind telling me the reason why I've been so determined to have a child. It's simply because I want it. I want to have a baby and I don't know why, but I haven't been able to stop fighting for it. I can't, it's like my mind and my body won't let me stop. It's impossible to explain in a way that doesn't make you think I should be locked up in some institution. But it's true, and it's there. The want... It's always going to be there.
Nick locked himself in his office, yet again. I don't understand him sometimes. He can be two different people; the one I married, the one I fell in love with and the one who is a complete stranger to me. It's as if he is on a line, faltering between the two sides, not knowing where to go. I'm guessing because he knows where his weaknesses lie in both so he can't make up his mind. What to choose. Where to go. He just needs to open up his eyes so he can see I'm here for him, reaching out my hand, ready to take on the world with him.
-
Miley's POV.
One month, two days. One month and two days since Dr. Winters implanted the embryos in my uterus. Just thinking about it, saying it, makes me want to puke. I've never been good with the whole blood/body/organs thing.
Nick and I have an appointment this afternoon. And for me, this appointment will change A LOT of things. I'm not completely sure if it will alter Nick's feelings, if it will change him like it will me, considering he's barely spoken a word for awhile. I keep telling myself it's simply stress, but I don't even know anymore. He's my husband, I should know. I sleep next to him every night and I feel like each hour that passes, he's slipping away into some unknown blue abyss, where he'll hide and cower because for some fucked up reason, he doesn't want to talk to me.
Afternoon comes, and we both silently slide out of the comfortable leather seats and into the breezy September air. Septembers in California are really beautiful. Nick slips his hand into mine, catching me off guard. We've barely spoken, let alone touch each other. Except for the occasional leg-kick in the middle of the night, of course. But those are always accidental.
I look up at him, the sun causes me to squint a little bit. And through the bright rays of light, I see a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. I smile back, not only my lips but my heart and soul too. I stand on my tippy-toes, lean up and kiss him on the cheek and I feel his hand tighten around mine, telling me 'We're going to be okay.'
BAM! Chapter One! Do you like it? Love it? Hate it, want it to die? I really liked it actually. The ending was my favorite. PLEASE REVIEW! It would make my day (: x hayden.
P.S. I promise the next chapters will be longer (: