Have You, Will You?

by breannatala

ONESHOT. No HBP. It is two years after Harry left. Two years after graduation. Voldemort is still strong. Snape comes across Harry before the last battle. This is their conversation. Rated for a few choice words.

"Snape."

"Potter."

Silence.

"You've been faring?"

"Barely."

"They are worried about you."

"I am doing as I need to be."

"Are you really?"

"Yes."

"Potter," his voice dangerous.

"Snape."

"What games are you playing?"

"Who, me? None."

"You are."

"I am doing what needs to be done."

"And what is that?"

"Is that really any of your business?"

"Perhaps."

Silence.

"Potter."

"Snape."

"They want you home." Harry raised an eyebrow.

"And they sent you?"

"Of course not. This is a chance meeting."

"Chance meeting."

"Yes."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Why don't you?"

"You have never liked me."

"No, I haven't."

"Why do you care?"

"I don't."

Silence.

"How did you find me?"

"What makes you think I was looking?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Why must you answer all my questions with more of the same?"

"You shouldn't be talking."

Silence.

"They are worried about you."

"I am alive."

"Are you really?"

"You see me, do you not?"

"That is not what I am talking about."

"Then what?"

"You are not doing well."

"I am doing what I must."

"Which is what?"

"Why do you care?"

"What makes you think I do?"

"Why must you answer all my questions with more of the same?"

"Why am I not asking you the same?"

"I believe you already have."

Silence.

"You are still a child, Potter."

"I am nothing of the sort."

"You are nineteen. You are too young to go under."

"Who ever said I was going under?"

"I can tell you are."

"How?"

"You are crossing over, Potter."

"Crossing over to where, Snape?"

"You used to be different."

"People change."

"People change."

"Yes."

"Sometimes not for the better?"

"How do you know this isn't for the better?"

Silence.

"Are you happy?"

"I do not know happiness."

"Surely you remember. . ."

"I do not."

"Even I remember being happy at one point."

"Then you are lucky."

"I do not consider myself lucky."

Silence.

"Albus had high hopes for you."

"Fuck off."

"It hurts, doesn't it?"

"Nothing hurts."

"Or does everything hurt?"

"What are you blabbing off about?"

"You are numb."

"Better than feeling."

"They are afraid, you know."

"Afraid of what?"

"You."

"They should be."

"When did you become so dark?"

"Since when are you not?"

"I am."

"Then why are we having this conversation?"

"I wasn't aware one could call this a conversation."

Silence.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing."

"You're still here for some reason."

"You know, I always thought you craved attention."

"You thought wrong."

"I realize that now."

"Leave, Snape."

"No. When did you change?"

"Over time. No one changes at once."

"I realize that."

"Then why ask?"

"People care about you."

"What makes you think so?"

"They say so."

"They do not care."

"They do."

"They care for the boy-who-lived."

"You are the boy-who-lived."

"No, I never was."

"Then who were you?"

"A shell."

"No one is a shell."

"I was."

Silence.

"You are numb."

"I told you, I am a shell."

"It can be different."

"I do not wish for what is not."

"Usually, I would agree with you."

"Then why are you not?"

"This isn't you."

"Then who am I?"

"Not this."

"This is what I must."

"That makes no sense."

"You do not think."

"You do not think."

"Stop repeating my words."

"It is all words."

"Nothing but words."

"Seems we have finally agreed on something."

"Unfortunately. Only took us nine years."

"We have agreed on more than that."

"Like what?"

"Voldemort, Potter."

"You were with him once."

"Are you not with him now?"

"No. I never was. I never will be."

"Then what are you doing?"

"That is none of your concern."

"It is."

"How?"

"You know."

"Do not assume."

Silence.

"Come back."

"There is nothing there for me."

"What is there for you here?"

"What I must."

"That makes no sense."

"You don't think."

"You have said that already."

Silence.

"What side are you on?"

"I am on my own."

"Light or Dark, Potter!"

"Why do you care?"

"I am trying to decide whether or not to kill you."

"My, my, Professor. Getting violent now, are we?"

"You know nothing of violence."

"I do not?"

"No."

"You have not been with me for the past two years, Snape."

"You threw everything away."

"I had nothing."

"You had everything."

"What is 'everything'?"

"Fame. Money. Power."

"That means nothing to me."

"What does mean something to you?"

"I don't know anymore."

Silence.

"Do you oppose Voldemort?"

"Yes."

"Do you work for the Light?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It is not true Light."

"Then what is it?"

Silence.

"You expect the Dark to betray."

"Of course. They are out for power."

"You do not expect the Light to betray."

"You do not expect."

"No."

"But it is does."

"Yes, Snape, it does."

Silence.

"You truly are out for yourself."

"No."

"No?"

"Stop repeating my words."

"They are nothing but words."

"But they are mine."

"They are everybody's. No one owns them."

"Everything is owned by someone."

"Then everyone is owned by someone."

"So it seems."

Silence.

"So who are you out for?"

"I do not know."

"May I ask why?"

"You may, but you will not receive an answer."

"Why not?"

"I do not know."

Silence.

"They have wronged you."

"Yes."

"What did they do?"

"I do not wish to speak of it."

"So now their actions are unspeakable."

"Not just their actions."

"Then what?"

"Their intentions. Their words. Their thoughts."

"You cannot determine a person by their thoughts."

"You cannot determine a person by their actions."

"Nor their intentions."

"Nor their words."

"So what then?"

"I don't know."

"The whole world isn't out for you."

"But it is."

"What makes you believe so?"

"I cannot walk down a street without someone attempting my life."

"They are not the whole world."

"They are what matters."

"Are they?"

Silence.

"You are impossible, Potter."

"You are impossible, Snape."

"Why must you repeat my words?"

"Why am I not asking you this?"

"You already have."

"Then why must you ask?"

"Why must you?"

Silence.

"Why are you still here?"

"I am trying to figure you out."

"Impossible."

"Why is that?"

"There is nothing to figure out."

"Why is that?"

"I am a shell."

"No one is a shell."

"I am no one."

Silence.

"It is not healthy to hold so much anger."

"I feel no anger."

"Even worse."

"How is that worse?"

"You will explode. You are numb."

"I am a shell."

"Shells explode."

"I am not a bomb."

"You are."

Silence.

"I want to be left alone."

"You are alone."

"You are here, Snape. Therefore, I am not alone."

"You will always be alone if you push those who try to help away."

"What makes you believe so?"

"I know so."

"Do not be so sure of yourself."

"Do not be so negative of yourself. It does not become you."

"And arrogance becomes you?"

"I am not as arrogant as some."

"Like?"

"Who do you think?"

"Why are you still here, Snape?"

"I am trying to help you."

"I am beyond help."

"No one is beyond help."

"I am no one."

"You have said that already."

"Then why must you bring up points already said?"

"Come back."

"There is nothing there for me."

"Family. Friends."

"I have no family. I never have."

"The Dursley's?"

"The Dursley's are not my family."

"Your friends."

"I have no friends."

"Granger. Weasley. Longbottom."

"You cannot be friends with those you do not trust."

"How have they lost your trust?"

"They turned their back."

"You turned your back."

"I am the only one who has not."

Silence.

"You are lost."

"I am here. I know I am here, therefore I cannot be lost."

"Does your life not have meaning?"

"Life does not have meaning."

"Then why are you still here?"

"I have a duty."

"A duty is a meaning, is it not?"

"A duty does not require life."

"Therefore no meaning to life."

"Precisely, Snape."

Silence.

"You have hurt them."

"They have hurt me."

"Revenge doesn't become you."

"Persistence doesn't become you."

"I believe it does."

"You assume to much."

"I found you, have I not?"

"I thought you were not looking for me."

"I was not."

"You make no sense."

"Likewise."

"Fuck off."

"No."

"Yes."

"Is that the best you can do?

"I said fuck off."

Silence.

"You're still here?"

"You see me, do you not, Potter?"

"I told you to leave."

"Perhaps I have no where to go."

"Perhaps I don't."

"Then come back."

"Why do you care?"

"Because you are a lost soul."

"Don't assume. I am not lost."

"Yes, you are."

"No."

Silence.

"You remind me of myself."

"I'm not in the mood for stories, Snape."

"I used to believe there is no purpose to anything. I just wanted power."

"I do not want power."

"But you want control."

"There is no difference."

"But there is."

"Power and control are one in the same."

"You can have control and not power."

"But not power and no control?"

"You can have control over your life."

"I have control."

"But you don't want power?"

"There is no point in wanting something you have."

"You talk in circles, Potter."

"As do you."

Silence.

"You could try again."

"I couldn't."

"It will be over soon."

"You don't know that."

"He is coming."

"I know."

Silence.

"Is that why you are here, Snape?"

"Yes."

"What side do you fight for?"

"I fight for truth."

"But you also fight for Light?"

"Yes."

"You cannot have both."

"You can have a compromise."

"I do not want a compromise."

"Sometimes there is no choice."

Silence.

"He is coming."

"I know, Snape."

"Will it end?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want it to end?"

"Must you ask questions you already know the answer to?"

"Who are you loyal to?"

"No one."

"So you are loyal to yourself?"

"What is your meaning?"

"You have called yourself no one."

"So?"

"So you are loyal to yourself."

"Perhaps."

"What do you plan on doing?"

"I don't know."

"So you don't have a plan?"

"I prefer to think on my feet."

"It will be the death of you."

"Death is nothing but the next great adventure."

"Is this a great adventure?"

"No."

"Then what makes you think death will be any better?"

"What makes you think it can get any worse?"

"I don't."

"I know, you don't."

"You cannot know me like that."

"You judge me, but I cannot you?

"I do not judge you. I simply state."

"You simply state what you judge me."

Silence.

"He is coming."

"I know."

Silence.

"Are you afraid?"

"I do not feel."

"You are numb."

"I am a shell."

"That is waiting to explode."

"I am not a bomb."

"You are."

Silence.

"I can't go back."

"Why not?"

"I am too far gone."

"I see you have come to your senses."

"I won't be excepted back."

"You will."

"What makes you believe so?"

"They love you."

"I am not loved."

"You are."

"I am loved as a celebrity."

"You are more than a celebrity."

"You used to not think so."

"I was wrong about you."

"So you were."

Silence.

"He comes."

"He does."

Silence.

"Will you come back?"

"I do not know."

Silence.

"I wish to start over."

"With what?"

"With you."

"Why?"

"Because I miss judged you."

"So you agree you judged me."

"Everyone judges everyone else."

"Unfortunately."

"Do you wish to start over?"

"No one can start over."

"But you are no one."

"One can not go back. One will only repeat one's mistakes."

"Starting over is not going back. Starting over is starting over."

"I cannot."

"You can."

Silence.

"He is here.

"I know."

"I am with you."

"Behind me or beside me?"

"Beside you."

"Why?"

"I wouldn't be anywhere else."

Harry turned to face his enemy. To face the one who pushed him over.

"Tom. What a pleasant surprise."

"Do not call me by that vile name, Potter!"

"Tisk, tisk, Riddle. I would think by now we would be past greeting each other by our last name, but if it is what you wish."

"I am Lord Voldemort!"

"Yes, yes, as you have stated many times before. Too bad one cannot simply choose their own name. Their own name is chosen for them. And your's is Tom Riddle."

"You are a bother."

"Is that all I am?"

"Unfortunately, no. If you were only that, you would be dead by now."

"So you admit your failings, I see, Riddle. Too bad we cannot choose who or what we are, hmm?"

"I have chosen who I am."

"You have not. You were shaped by your surroundings."

"I am not influenced by means so minimal."

"You are not immune, Riddle."

"I am."

"No, you are not."

"And you are?"

"Perhaps."

"If I am not, then neither are you."

"Are you lowering yourself to my level Riddle? I thought that was beneath you?"

"Enough!"

"Enough, what, Riddle?"

"One of us will die tonight."

"Yes."

"I do not plan on it being myself."

"I do not plan on it being myself."

"Do not use my words."

"I seem to have said that more than once today, already, Riddle. You are behind."

"Crucio!"

"Semna."

"How is that possible!"

"I haven't been laying around waiting for you."

"There is no way to block an unforgivable."

"You seem to forget I have blocked more than one before."

"You are not immune."

"Neither are you."

Silence.

"Avada Kedavra!" was shouted. A body fell limp. Chaos ensued. Then it was over.

"They ran."

"Of course, Snape."

"Will you come back?"

"Why?"

"You are needed."

"Am I?"

"Yes. You are missed. You are loved."

"I cannot feel."

"Yes, you can."

"Then why do I not feel?"

"Because you don't. But you can. You just have to let yourself."

"How do you know?"

"Because I did not feel at one point, Potter."

Silence.

"Will you come back?"

"For awhile."

"For awhile?"

"Must you repeat my words?"

"Must you be so vague?"

"I will come back. I may not stay."

"It will hurt them if you leave again."

"They have already hurt me."

"Come, Potter. They will be happy."

"I wish I could be."

"You will, Potter, you will."