This is just some crack I wrote for Rachy and Courtney -- I hope you like it guys, 'cuz I highly doubt anyone else will read it lol.
Lindsay was tired after a night of dumpster diving where all she found were fish skeletons and no evidence of the murder that took place in the alley.
"Ew," said Lindsay. "Ew, ew, ew."
She stripped and got in the shower, yearning to wash off every trace of stink and annoyed that after pushing Danny away and wanting him back he had crawled right into Aiden's bed – Aiden, who was supposed to be her best friend.
"Fuck my life," said Lindsay.
She let the hot water run down her body, and heard the door to her apartment crack open.
"Stella? That you?" said Lindsay.
No answer, so she tuned everything out – until she felt the white-hot pain in her side and saw the bloody knife get pulled out. She fell inside the shower and the killer stabbed again and again until Lindsay Monroe was no more.
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Thunder rumbled throughout the city, and in another apartment in another area of town another woman took a shower – only she wasn't alone.
"Oh! Danny!" Aiden Burn moaned as she felt him thrust inside her.
Danny planted a kiss on each of her breasts – sex in the shower with Aiden was even more orgasmic than just doing it in bed.
He was just about to come when he heard both their phones go off.
"Next time we take them out of our pants and turn them off," said Aiden. "If I didn't know better I'd say Mac calls every time we have sex."
"Is he psycho or somethin'?" said Danny.
"You mean psychic," said Aiden.
"Yeah, yeah," said Danny. "We just got cockblocked by our wiseass of a boss."
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The crime scene was shockingly familiar to the CSIs – one of their own stabbed to death, her corpse tangled up in the shower curtain.
"Mother, mother!" said Adam in a weird voice. "Why did you do it mother?"
Mac gave Adam a funny look.
"This is right out of the movie Psycho," said Adam. "One time Kendall and I watched it then she was taking a shower and freaked when I went to grab my toothbrush – I left it in the shower and…"
"Adam – focus," said Mac.
"Right boss," said Adam.
"You're a far cry from Norman Bates man," said Danny. "Hey, maybe that's who we should be lookin' for!"
"He's a movie character," said Mac.
"But really Mac? All she does is wine… and it's not like we can give her anymore cheese," said Hawkes.
"Wine… cheese… funny," said Danny.
"I guess it's funny," said Mac.
"Mac, Angell and I got no witnesses," said Don. "Old lady on the left was deaf and claims her dog ate her hearing aid. The couple in the other next door apartment were too busy having sex and were both screaming so loud that they never heard Monroe – oh, and the apartment across? Several female roommates drunk after a night of clubbing and the only sober one had her iHome system up to drown out her friends upchucking in the bathroom."
"Smart girl," said Hawkes.
"The rest of the people on the floor wouldn't cooperate 'cuz we woke them up," said Jessica.
After taking back all the evidence and processing it into the wee hours of the next day per Mac's orders, they never found the killer and the case went cold. As Mac and Stella left for the day, Mac noticed his dear friend looked troubled.
"I don't think I could take another shower by myself Mac," said Stella. "Perhaps if we took one together I wouldn't feel so jumpy."
"I wouldn't mind, but I need to tell you something first," said Mac. "I love you Stella. I'd do anything to protect you."
They kissed right there in his office, only witnessed by a very joyful Sid who did the can-can when their lips touched.
"Hey!" said Sid.
Now that I have that outta my system, I'm gonna update Anything Can Happen -- god knows Flack needs some lovin' after all that's supposed to go down this week.