This fic is dedicated to all Shane-O Mac lovers everywhere, but in particular Katrine, Adri, Hayden and the others from the Yahoo group for ff.net's wrestling section (see my bio for a link to it), Merc and Falln my Triangle sisters and everyoneform Merc's Asylum
This is fic is based on the old classic "Mac the Knife" - I heard the last line of the song and then had to make a fic out of it in my Shane-obsessed world. I hope you all enjoy the fic and feedback would be very much appreciated!!
* * *
"You're making a big mistake dad, big! And you know what? I'm not going to sit around and let you make it!"
Vince McMahon paused the tape he was viewing yet again. Surely Shane wasn't going to do anything rash was he? Rewinding it, he heard the words yet again, and twisted them in his brain, searching for a possible clue as to what his son had planned.
Yet what could Shane do? He hadn't any WWE stock left, he'd sold it all to Flair… or had he? But even if he had, Vince had picked his GMs, received full approval from the board of directors and nothing could stop his plans now. Nothing
So why did he have a feeling that this wasn't the way things were going to go down?
* * *
In a far less glamorous locker-room, a group of wrestlers were perched on various sofas and chairs all staring glumly in silence at a small monitor, which was showing them what was happening in the ring.
"This sucks!" declared Jeff Hardy, breaking the silence. "Ever since he was put in charge, Bischoff has done nothing but push ex-WCW wrestlers and hold us WWE guys down, it's just wrong!"
"What's worse is Vince has done nothing to help," added Spike Dudley dejectedly, not bothering to even face his friend as he spoke. "It's like he hasn't even noticed what's going on."
"Yunno, Lita's meant to be visiting us soon guys and I promised her a really good time, yet how can I do that when all we do is sit here miserably watching the freaking monitor!!" sighed Trish Stratus, the only female member of the group. "I mean, none of us have had a match in weeks!"
"This sucks!" responded Matt, echoing what his brother had said earlier, as the match they were watching – yet another Booker T vs Big Show match – ended. Everything was pretty much same-old, same-old nowadays – not just with the matches they'd been watching either, the conversation had rather dried up in originality too. They'd had exactly the same talk the week before, and at the Raw before that too.
So when Big Show went to leave the ring, his arms raised in victory as he prepared to cross the top rope, no-one was that surprised; it was what they seen a thousand times before. What was new, however, was the lights suddenly cutting out and the arena being plunged into darkness.
"What the…"
It wasn't just the crowd that was shocked at this turn of events, those in the locker-room were too. And their shock only increased when the lights came back on, showing both wrestlers, apparently unconscious, lying on the ground.
As was a kendo stick.
* * *
Vince knew that there were only two people in the company who would claim a kendo stick as their weapon of choice. And one of them was out injured.
He gulped, loudly.
* * *
At the next Raw, the locker-room atmosphere was completely different. Due to the injuries sustained by Booker and Big Show, there was suddenly an opening in the card, which the Hardyz gratefully seized for a tag-team match against Benoit and Guerrero. Seeing as Terri had started accompanying her former beau's Radicalz team-mates, it had been decided that Trish would accompany them down to the ring as a counter to whatever Terri would try to do.
Of course Terri had interfered, which is how both women as well as the four men ended up being in the ring when the lights went out for the second week in a row. However, this time there was accompanying music. "Hey I know this song," Matt heard his brother say from across the ring, and he knew that he knew this jazzy music from somewhere too. But just where… Before he could have a proper think about it, Matt heard a sudden clatter as someone fell heavily to the ground and felt Trish be pushed into his grasp.
"What on earth…" he heard her wonder, when almost as suddenly as the lights had disappeared, they returned, blinding everyone in the arena. When he finally regained his sight, Matt looked around the ring and saw that him, Jeff and Trish were the only ones left standing, as Guerrero and Benoit seemed to have been taken out by a kendo stick that was lying next to them and Terri was only just getting up from outside the rind where she seemed to have been dropped rather unceremoniously if the way she was rubbing her posterior was anything to go by.
"Guys, you okay?" asked Jeff as he motioned to the ropes as they climbed out and walked up the ramp and then backstage, confusion still evident on their faces.
"Yeah, we're all good" replied his brother, still leading Trish along as she seemed to be almost in a daze. "Jeff did you recognise that music from somewhere? Because I know I know it, I just can't think from where."
"I know what you mean, it sounded mighty familiar. Damn, I just can't think of what its called though! It's one of those 'swing' songs Dad always has on at home, but what is it?"
"Yeah that's where I know it from! Hey Bubba, Spike, what the hell happened out there?" Matt asked as they entered their locker-room.
"Damned if I know, Hardy," replied the elder of the Dudley brothers. "And it seems like Lawler and JR are in the same position as us too, although JR did mention recognising the song."
"Did he say what it was?"
"Nah, just that if it meant what he thought it did, then there were going to be some big changes coming soon."
"No-way… no-way!!" suddenly murmured Trish, grabbing everyone's attention. Realising she was now the centre of attention, she gave a big grin. "I can't believe that you guys haven't connected everything yet! Helloooo are you all blind or something?!"
"Ms Stratus?" interrupted a stagehand from the door. "I've a message here for you," and handed her a note. Reading it, Trish's grin widened even more. "I knew it!!" she shrieked.
"Knew what?" questioned Spike as Jeff tried to lean over her shoulder and read the note.
"That I'm not going to tell you," she replied smugly, quickly folding the note and placing it inside of her bag. "But I will say this, didn't anyone else spot someone escaping up the ramp just as the lights came on? What, no-one?" she questioned as they all shook their heads. "Ugh, men!! You don't deserve to know!!"
At this point Trish's mobile rang. "Hello? Lita, hi!! You saw? Yeah, I know!! Can't say 'cos the others are here, but guess. Hang on, I'll take this outside. Just gotta grab my bags," she said, turning to the boys and telling them "I'm off to the Diva's locker-room, okay?" Almost without taking breath she was back talking on her mobile as she walked out the door. "So who do you think… yeah! It's him!!"
Turning to the other bemused males in the room, who had all been trying to overhear Trish's end of the conversation, Jeff commented, "Well at least we know it's a he."
"Jeff?"
"Yes Matt?"
"Shut up."
* * *
"God dammit, I thought I'd tightened up Security!!! How the hell did he get in?!"
"Mr McMahon, sir, I wouldn't know." Oh but the stagehand – who just happened to be the same person as the one who had given the note to Trish – did know how he'd got in. It was called manners, charm and having friends (which included him) amongst the backstage crew. It was amazing the little errands a person might have to quickly run which would take them away from their post at the back door of the arena.
Scowling, Vince started to re-watch the security tape. His evening had been going so well until he'd heard that dammned music start to play. Oh yeah, he'd got the hidden message behind it. Now the only question was what the hell he was going to do about it.
"Get Bischoff in here – now!!!"
* * *
At the next Raw, the atmosphere backstage was electric – something big was about to happen, the wrestlers just knew it. Of course, there was also the sign that Trish and Lita, who had finally joined them on the road, hadn't stopped whispering conspicuously to each other all evening. But after hearing that they must all be blind, deaf and dumb not to have worked out what was going on, the male members of that particular locker-room preferred to believe that they were sensitive enough to have worked it out for themselves instead of working it out from their women counterparts.
"Trish, I am so glad that you managed to get me a backstage pass a week early! Are you sure its going to happen tonight?" they overheard Lita ask.
"Honey, I *know* it's going to be tonight, after all it all fits with the song… first the mystery attacks, then a glimpse, and finally the unveiling. Yep, it'll be tonight for sure…besides the *flowers*?"
"I know! I can't believe he sent them to us!! You're right but it's almost the end of Raw… surely he'd have made his move by now?"
Trish snorted. "And not extend watching Vince and Bischoff sweat as long as possible? Pleeasse! Entertainment laws demand he waits until right about…" glancing at the monitor, she suddenly grinned and raised her voice so that everyone could here her.
"…now."
* * *
Vince made his way to the ring with Bischoff following behind him. There hadn't been any sightings so far but that didn't mean there wouldn't be. Oh no, if he knew the way this game was being played…
Standing back, he watched as Eric Bischoff grabbed a mic and began to speak. "Over the last few weeks there have been mysterious attacks perpetrated against various friends of mine, with the perpetrator seemingly too much of a coward to stay around and deal with the consequences. They even attacked under the cover of darkness!!! What kind of WWE Superstar would do this? That's why as your GM I am demanding that the person responsible for these attacks to come out here and face me like a man!!"
Groaning silently, Vince acknowledged the trap that his GM had just fallen in.
There was silence for a few minutes as Vince, Bischoff and indeed the whole crowd seemingly held their breath, waiting for someone or something to happen. Then music began to play and a person appeared at the top of the ramp – the crowd went wild.
Grabbing the mic from Bischoff, Vince stuttered "L-L-Linda?? What the hell is the meaning of this? You didn't attack all those superstars – tell me you're not responsible for all of this!!"
Smirking slightly, Mrs McMahon raised her hand to silence the still cheering crowd and spoke calmly into the mic. "Hello, Vince. Surprised to see me?"
"Linda, what the hell are you doing here?!"
"I'm here, Vince, to put right a wrong. You see, the board allowed the main stakeholders in the WWE to choose the General Managers for Raw and Smackdown, but I don't remember you consulting me at any point in this process. Now as Smackdown was your show when the brand split was first introduced, I'll allow you your choice of Stephanie as GM. However, as by law I am entitled to half of everything you own, I think it's only fair that I pick the GM for Raw don't you?"
"Is that what this has been about? You've slowly been picking off Bischoff's superstars so it makes him easier to attack?"
"Oh no Vince, I haven't been doing that… but the new GM has."
* * *
The monitor went black as once again all the lights in the arena went off and the music from the week before began to play. As the opening bars played out, Matt suddenly started as it came to him where he'd heard the song before. "I know it!! I get it now! That's…"
Together with Lita, Trish and Jeff he said, "Mac the Knife!!"
* * *
Back inside the ring, the lights came up and once again, the former participants of it had been knocked down to the mat because of a kendo stick. Only this time its owner was still in the ring.
Lifting the mic from his fallen father's hand, he stated firmly along with the music above the cheering crowd;
"Oh yeah, SHANE O'MAC IS BACK!!"