A/N: Let me say, there is so much psychological depth to Pagan Min (If you choose not to kill Pagan at the end of the game… which I have no idea why anyone would kill him after being intrigued by him the whole game…he describes the past circumstances of his life with a certain poignancy that really moved me and inspired this story).
As noted, this is a pre-game fiction. In this story, although Pagan is very much himself as we know him, there is also a sense of goodness that we do not see in the game. Pagan may have become a dictator, but I do not think it became that way from his choice alone.
I imagine him in his early years of power, I think he had many plans for Kyrat, but with the death of Lakshmana and Ishwari's departure, he was driven to insanity and could never finish his plans. After all, he claims this as the reason that he acts the way he does, and admits he is far from "okay". Perhaps we do not see Pagan's good efforts in the early years because the only account we have is from Mohan's Journal, which is totally biased.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy; this will probably be a long story.
Please review, good or bad, as they are much appreciated!
Ishwari tugged at the thick, plain cloth shirt that was tucked deeply into the denim of her pants. She sat inside what appeared to be a makeshift office amid the military checkpoint, just outside the bridge to Northern Kyrat, and waited for none other than the tyrant Pagan Min. Two armed guards stood on both sides of her, should she try anything to risk the life of the new King.
As she waited to meet Pagan, Mohan's rather bitter words of encouragement rang in her ears: "This is what you wanted, Ishwari, not me. Don't forget that, if and when the fear consumes you. You're a woman, not a hero, but go do as you please if it makes you feel better." His lack of confidence in her and his adhesion to the conservative values of Kyrati culture made her blush with anger. If anyone was capable of being a spy, it was she, and there was no doubt in her mind.
Yet how dare Mohan question her abilities, when she herself had done just as much for the Golden Path as he? The only time she had rested from their "terrorist" cause had been in the last stages of her pregnancy, and in Ajay's earliest infant months. While she loved motherhood, Ishwari felt a certain resentment for her husband. Lately, there was some sort of sickening pride in Mohan's eyes when he would return at night to find her amidst motherly duties, as though his ego and power hunger had multiplied in her short absence. Mohan seemed to relish in her maternity as though it was a new found weakness.
Women in the Golden Path had always been a sore subject between both of them, yet now it had become personal. It felt like he was now better than her, because her womanhood had been proven, and he no longer viewed her as an asset to the cause. She worried that he had always felt this way about her, but now he could now finally express his ideas fully because her resistance to him was weakened when they made a life together. Had she been blind to these sexist qualities all along, or was Mohan's attitude amidst a metamorphosis?
Instead of Ishwari the rebel leader, she was now Ishwari the wife; though she had wanted to mesh these separate lives into one, Mohan would not allow it. Yet, the opportunity in front of her now had formed so she could prove to her husband that not only would she not follow his lead blindly like a "good wife" was expected to do, but that she alone was a better rebel than he could ever be.
To work as a spy required dedication and a convincing facade, but with the Golden Path in terrible shape as a direct response to the revamped Royal Army, she knew this opportunity could be the chance they needed to take the power back. As her nerves twisted inside, almost on queue, Pagan Min's voice boomed from inside the room.
"Guards, let the woman in already, she's obviously exercised more patience than I would have in her position. It is a virtue, you know…" he said loudly, and his voice trailed off at the end.
Ishwari rose from her seat, before the door suddenly flew open, and the tyrant King stood before her.
"It is such a pleasure to be graced by your presence, your royal highness," she said immediately, and bowed her head softly. As she looked up, her eyes locked with Pagan's, and his head was cocked to the side while he watched her curiously.
"Come in, come in," he finally said, and as she stepped inside, one guard stepped forward, before he added, "Must I be crowded constantly? Let the woman and I have a conversation alone."
Ishwari stood behind the chair until Pagan closed the door, and sat in front of her with an apologetic smile.
"Please, enough with the formalities, sit down. Now, what brings you here? Amar sang your praises…Ishwari," he pressed with a nod forward, as he read her name out loud for the first time on the sheet of paper in front of him. Amar was the first spy for the Golden Path, and had been on Pagan's "apparent" side since the old government had been overthrown. Without Amar's help, Ishwari would have had significant more difficulties organizing the meeting she now held with Pagan.
"The radio broadcasts in the kingdom suggested that all educated citizens, not involved with the military, come directly here to work for your highness," she explained with a calm demeanor, and made sure to lock eyes with him throughout in case he doubted her intentions.
"Shows my desperation for some quality people in this backward country, right? Sounds pretty damn pathetic when I hear it from someone else. Nevertheless, why are you not already involved with the military?" he asked, a frown now on his face.
"I am a woman, your highness," she simply stated with a slight laugh.
"Do you not believe men and women to be equal?" he suggested, and she wondered if he was searching for a specific response.
"I do, but there are many who do not," she said, after a long moment of silence, and he smiled.
"Unfortunately, you are very correct. See, we need strong women like you…women who know how to make decisions. Have you met Yuma, my second-in-command? Anyway, people like the two of you help to set the precedent that Kyrat is going in a liberal direction!"
"A liberal Kyrat…" she mused.
"What's your opinion for the future of this country? You know, in an ideal, hypothetical situation. Don't speak just to please me, truly, I am… curious on your perspective," he urged, suddenly serious. Ishwari realized that for the first time since their conversation the whimsical gleam in his eyes went away, only to be replaced with an incredible depth.
"Equality, for everyone, as well as a sturdy educational system. From there, all the rest should fall into place. It may not necessarily occur in that order, but most of the western world seems to have evolved in a similar fashion, and if we are to become a capable world power we will need to measure up to western standards," she expressed openly.
"And abandon all the traditional, Kyrati qualities of our own unique culture?" he pressed, and she could not read his face.
"Not abandon…just, morph them into something more productive," she said slowly as she struggled for the right words.
"I like you," he said after a long moment of silence, and nodded to himself.
"Do we share a similar political ideology, sir?" she pressed, now intrigued.
"Absolutely! And that is exactly why these Golden Path terrorists are such a problem. They are strangling the potential for this country," he explained in a whisper, and she suddenly remembered her purpose. Yet, she also realized that with the shape the Golden Path was currently in, under Mohan's reign, Pagan was right. In fact, her own goals seemed to match his, but she quickly shook the thought.
"It is good to be taken seriously, I appreciate your curiosity for my opinion," she almost marveled after a moment of silence, and Pagan nodded in deep thought.
"It must be hard out there, as a woman…expected to bear children and live a bleak existence. Are you married?" he questioned, and suddenly she laughed.
"No, I would not be able to stand it," she lied, but noticed her words seemed to speak truth about her new found opinion of Mohan.
"It is nice to know you are so dedicated to the liberal cause, you'll be a great asset for this country indeed," he said with a laugh.
"Sir, does this mean I am being considered for a position?" she pressed, and wondered if she had stepped too far. The whimsical look in his eyes returned.
"…Yes, but I have something in mind that will have you a bit closer to me than you probably intended. Most people join my propaganda panel…you're a smart woman, you do know all those broadcasts are propaganda, right?" he asked, with a raised eyebrow.
"Propaganda, sir? …There's a sort of… negative connotation with the word propaganda…" she treaded lightly, and he smiled before eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips.
"Why, because it insinuates lies? We are lying…at least for now. I need the people to be comfortable with me as a leader before I begin making rapid changes to their way of life," he started, and although she knew his despot mind was warped from his own power, it did seem to her that he meant what he said.
"You care about the opinion of the people, it is an admirable quality in a leader, your highness," she massaged his ego, and he frowned.
"Are you trying to be a little brown-noser? Anyway…where was I…oh! See, I have enough people for propaganda. You seem to be intelligent, you seem honest…hell, Amar speaks highly of you…and to be completely straightforward, there are no other decent applicants…"
"Applicants for what position, sir?" she asked, and felt the nerves in her stomach bundle.
"Well, I am the leader of a growing country, and I have growing demands that must be organized…so, I am in need of a personal assistant," he hinted, and she wondered why he was reluctant to be straightforward.
"A personal assistant?" she asked again, unsure of his intentions.
"Yes…would you be interested? If this isn't what you had in mind, please let me know so that we can work something out," he insisted genuinely, almost scared that she would decline, and she felt a small flattery that he valued her opinion.
"Of course, your highness," she nodded.
"Great! I think I should add…I really won't like it if you insist on calling me that," he said with enthusiasm.
"Pagan…well, I thank you for this opportunity, and I am happy to know that Amar recommended me so highly. I hope to live up to your expectations," she explained, and he laughed.
"You would have been offered this position regardless of his interference, so you need only thank yourself," he commented suggestively.
"…What do you mean by that?" she asked, curiosity having gotten the best of her, and a large smile painted his face before he stifled it again.
"Not only are you capable of original thought, but you have a pair of the most genuine eyes I've ever seen…there's such vigor and authenticity in their light…it's almost inspiring," he whispered softly, before he stood.
"…When do I start?" she asked, unsure of how to receive his compliment.
"Meet me at the Royal Palace tomorrow morning at sunrise. I'll give you clearance for entry, and then you can help me plan some attacks on those fucking terrorists! How does that sound?" he pressed.
"Excellent; I thank you again for this opportunity," she said, and left swiftly..
As she left the office, she felt a twinge of nausea when she realized she would have to report back to Mohan as soon as she went home. Even his presence had begun to annoy her, but she felt relief that she would not report home immediately.
As a boost to her alter ego's credibility, Amar had made a connection with a small family in Northern Kyrat to house her for a period of time whenever she interacted with Pagan. At night, she would sneak away and swim the river to the home she shared with Mohan. The Royal Army was not accustomed to spying, but as a precaution she would rather not take any chances.
At first, she had insisted on using a fake name, but Amar insisted it was unnecessary, as it could lead it her own confusion if she had to maintain responding to another title. After all, there were no databases to search for her name, nor did the Golden Path use names over the frequency. In addition, her own marriage to Mohan was a rather well known secret among everyone that was never explicitly stated, and with his excessive ego he never gave her public credit for their accomplishments. As far as anyone was concerned, Mohan ran the Golden Path by himself.
The reminder that her own husband was a narcissistic pig was enough to frustrate her beyond her comfort, and as she made her way to the safe house, she contemplated not returning to her real home at all. Yet, the thought of baby Ajay alone with Mohan was enough to convince her to return later on, even if she dreaded the concept.
Chapter 2 sometime next week: we'll meet Mohan and explore Ishwari's deepening connection with Pagan. Thanks for reading!