Gilmore Girls Season 8: The Conflict of Quirk and Class
Note: This story picks up as Rory is on the campaign trail. The phone calls will read more script like, but the rest will read as a story. This is my first try at fanfic. I've always wanted to know what would happen to the Gilmore Girls. I hope anyone who happens across it enjoys! I don't own any of these characters at all! Just for fun!
Chapter 1: Bat to the Head of Truth
Gobstoppers, skittles, marshmallows, cheeze-its, twizzlers, barbecue potato chips, a bowl of sprinkles, pizza, goobers, and cherry cheesecake! Lorelai looked around at her feast with a mix of fear and glee. Paul Anka looked at the feast with a terrified interest.
"Oh NO, Paul Anka. These snacks are for ME! And for Rory. Okay, don't look at me like that, they are all for me. But, Rory is going to eat them too. Just not these ones. She's gonna eat her snacks where she is, but they're the same as- You know what! I don't have to explain myself to you!"
Paul Anka wandered away mystified.
"That's what I thought! I knew you would have no rebuttal! Why don't you go write a new song! "Put Your Head on My Shoulder" is getting kinda old!" Lorelai cocked her head to the side and began to warble her own version of the Paul Anka hit. "Okay, never mind. It's still good." She promptly began to sing the song to the loudest of her ability.
"Put your head on my shoulder
Hold me in your arms, baby
Squeeze me oh so tight
Show me that you love me too
Put your lips next to mine, dear
Won't you kiss me once, baby
Just a kiss goodnight, may be
You and I will fall in love
People say that love's a game
A game you just can't win
If there's a way
I'll find it somebody
And then this fool with rush in"
Lorelai's voice grew shakier and shakier as she got more emotional. She didn't even notice Babette open the door.
"Sugar!"
Lorelai screamed. Babette screamed. They both screamed.
"I'm sorry sugar! I didn't mean to scare you, but your howling was waking up all the other kittens. I couldn't get anyone else to take one but you. You still like the kitten, right? You're gonna keep it? Cause, I just couldn't take it if the other kittens saw your kitten come back and then they'd think, no family will ever want me. Why are you howling, sugar?"
Lorelai tried to wipe her eyes without Babette noticing.
"Oh no! You're crying! What's the matter!?"
Lorelai sighed. "No, I'm not crying. I just got a little emotional over a Paul Anka song and I was singing, though I get the confusion with the howling. My voice was the reference they used for the "I Could Never Really Sing" song."
Babette looked worried, "Crying over a Paul Anka song? Honey, what's that therapist doin' to ya?"
Lorelai smiled, "Well she hasn't diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder yet, so I'm keeping her!"
Babette jumped, "I think your computer's buzzing, sugar!"
"Oh! It's Rory. Thursday night call! She set up this Skype thing before she left and we can watch each other eat junk food WHILE we talk!"
Babette, "I don't know how I look like this and YOU look like that with what you eat!"
Lorelai guiltily shrugged as she shooed Babette out the door. Babette yelled, "Tell me when you finally name that kitten!"
"I will!" Lorelai called over her shoulder as she lept onto the couch pressing "answer call" and landing strangely on her side.
R: "Mom why are you laying all crumpled like that?"
L: "It's yoga!"
R: "You're doing yoga?"
Rory's eyebrows raised in disbelief as Lorelai struggled to sit upright.
L: "Okay, I lied. I tried to dive and press the answer call button at the same time and it didn't go as planned. I think I have to give up my dreams of being a figure skater."
R: "Mom, you taught me that we should NEVER give up on our dreams"
L: "That's true, kid! I'll keep working on it, cause I really want to wear the sparkly outfits!"
R: "And your legs are so long, they won't make you where the ugly nude skate shoes to elongate your legs."
L: "Are they called skate shoes?"
R: "I don't know."
L: "Me either."
R: "You really need to research your chosen career path."
L: "Nah. Do you have all the snacks!?"
R: "NO! BAD BAD BAD news! There are no goobers in Iowa."
L: "Surely, there are goobers somewhere in Iowa!"
R: "That's what I thought, but we are sorely mistaken. There are people who I would categorize as goobers, there are goober like candies, but there are no actual, edible goobers."
L: "That is the saddest thing I have ever heard."
R: "It gets worse."
L: "How could it possibly get worse?"
R: "Well, Senator Obama actually saw my bags of junk food and started talking about how his wife is planning on having her platform as first lady address obesity and health in our youth."
L: "The future president of the United States commented on our junk food diet!?"
R: "Yes."
L: "And I already thought our diet was legend, now I'm not just making completely bogus claims!"
R: 'Your claims have in fact been substantiated."
L: "I feel so validated in my gluttony!"
R: "As you should! And with that, I say we begin eating copious amounts of said gluttony."
L: "Amen, sister friend!"
They both begin digging into all the various junk food as they continue to talk with mouths very full.
R: "The bowl of sprinkles were an inspired choice. I like to grab a handful after each bite of pizza!"
L: "Mmmm! Thanks for the tip! So, are you going to be able to Skype into Friday night dinner tomorrow?"
R: "That's a negative. There's this dinner at one of the Iowa state Senator's houses and we actually all get to go."
L: "Sounds fancy! How's the blog?"
R: "It's good. I'm just glad they are letting me do it. As long as the blog is completely separate from my column for Huffington Post, the Huff is cool with it."
L: "That is awesome!"
R: "Most of the contributors have their own sites or blogs, or at least a bunch of other sites they write for. I'm getting decent views, but not enough to really make any money off of it yet. Oooooh! Try one skittle with one barbeque chip. And make sure it's a yellow skittle!"
L: "Yellow skittle, got it! Your taste buds are impeccable! You should be a judge on top chef."
R: "They cook too many weird things that have vegetables and stuff."
L: "A judge on the just dessert version!"
R: "Sending in my application now! Did you name the kitten?"
L: "If I could find the kitten, I would name the kitten. She hides and falls asleep and then I can't find her for hours."
R: "What's in the running?"
L: "I've been going through every member of the GoGos, Bananarama, Wilson Phillips, and The Runaways and I can't decide."
R: "What about Bangles?"
L: "Like one of the Bangles or calling the cat Bangles?
R: "Both? Either? I don't know."
L: "It's just that if you pick one of the members from the girl band then people assume that is your favorite member and then you have to explain why you like Chynna Phillips better than either of the Wilson sisters and if you've ever met a Carnie fan, you know they don't play around. You don't want to get in a fight with a Carnie! And then people would be like, oh so you like the Mamas and the Papas better than the Beach Boys! Which isn't true, I just like the Mamas and the Papa's kid better!"
R: "I didn't know it was this serious. Maybe, you need a solo artist?"
L: "A novel thought... So, is he still calling?"
Rory chewed quietly and her forehead creased with pain.
L: "He's still calling..."
R: "I don't know what to do. I feel so awful. And you've stayed so, out of it. It's like you don't even have an opinion and I know he loves me...It's just..."
L: "Rory, of course, I have an opinion. But, these are the kind of decisions we have to make on our own."
R: "Do we? Do we really?"
Rory's eyes filled with tears.
L: "Oh kid..."
R: "Just tell me what you think. Do you think I should have said yes? Do you think I should have moved to California? Do you think I made the right choice?"
Lorelai sighed and stared at her daughter who looked so lost. Who was she to tell Rory how to make decisions about love?
R: "It's fine. I understand. I know I made the right choice to come on the campaign trail. I feel like I'm a part of history and getting to write about important topics and be on the scene. It's what I've always wanted and I love it."
L: "But..."
R: "I keep answering when he calls... I feel so... guilty. I mean, I turned down his proposal. He...he wanted to MARRY me."
L: "Rory, I will tell you this much. You can't talk to someone just because you feel guilty. You said no and HE ended things. He wasn't willing to compromise. It was all or nothing. If you don't want to get back with him then you should feel guilty FOR talking to him."
R: "Well, there's finally an opinion."
L: "It's not my opinion on HIM. It's just hard when you drag things out and neither person knows where the other stands...and..."
R: "Have we switched to you and Luke now?"
L: "No...maybe...yes?"
R: "Well, I have no problem sharing my opinion! You love him! Get back together!"
L: "You know I'm doing therapy first. I have to get to the bottom of why I sabotage all my relationships."
R: "What is her newest bat to the head of truth?"
L: "Ah yes, I am glad my bat to the head of truth phrase has really taken off, have you tried to get Senator Obama to say it yet?"
R: "Oh yes, every time he's near me I yell THAT'S A BAT TO THE HEAD OF TRUTH THAT IS!"
L: "You are so loyal to your mommy! Anyway, Sandra the bat swinger of a therapist says that I've always used your dad as an escape route. When I hated my parents and wanted to make them mad and get away...I used Christopher. When I've been upset throughout my adult life...I run to your dad. Like, I break up with Luke and bam...in bed with...well you know. She says that as an adult there is no escape route. You have to be in for the fight especially when it's at its worst."
R: "Well, isn't that a bat to the head of truth."
L: "Told you. Babette says my singing sound like howling."
R: "It could wake the dead."