Kensi couldn't wipe the picture of her partner's hurt face as she sat through her date for the night. When Jamie asked her if she could do him a favor, Kensi didn't expect him to ask her out to please his Mom, Guadalupe. She clutched her purse hard as she tolerated not so subtle hints from Guadalupe to begin a family as soon as possible with her son. Kensi had two Margaritas and that didn't do anything to calm her nerves.
After one more comment in the direction of Kensi's impending motherhood, she had enough and stood up.
"Jamie." Her curt tone and the barely concealed anger had both Jamie and Guadalupe shrinking into their seats.
"I have come here as a favor for you. I even skipped out on my partner and best friend's birthday celebrations only because you saved my life today but I've had enough." Kensi growled and turned to face Guadalupe.
"No soy novia de Jamie. Si usted desea convertirse en abuela pronto, será mejor que su hijo en línea, cambiar de profesión para convertirse en un hombre respetable y no el ladrón que es. Lo conocí la mañana de hoy como parte de un caso que estaba trabajando para capturar a un contrabandista vehículo que suministra vehículos a los terroristas en el extranjero. Él era amigo de su hijo. La única razón por la que vine aquí fue porque me salvó la vida y le pidió la cena como un favor. Pero no tengo límites para mi paciencia. Adiós." Kensi spoke rapidly in Spanish.
(Author's note: I used Google translate tool to get the above Spanish version of the below statement. Hopefully it is correct and if it isn't, I apologize.
'I'm not Jamie's girlfriend. If you wish to become grandmother soon, you better get your son in line, change his profession to become a respectable man and not the crook he is. I met him today morning as a part of a case I was working to capture a vehicle smuggler who supplied vehicles to terrorists overseas. He was friends with your son. The only reason I came here was because he saved my life and asked this dinner as a favor. But I have limits to my patience. Good Bye.')
Kensi threw some currency on the table to cover the cost of the dinner and tip and walked away without even a glance towards Jamie or Guadalupe. She knew she might rip their limbs apart if she heard one more comment about bearing the grandchildren for Guadalupe.
As she dipped her hand into her bag for her keys, she could feel the envelope containing the reservations to the cabin near Lake Tahoe where Marty wanted to take her for Christmas. As soon as they returned from the ship, Kensi made reservations for a long weekend considering 18th is a Friday. She had already put in a request for some off time to cover 18th and the following weekend. She wanted it to be a surprise for Deeks.
She was beating herself up for missing her partner's birthday by 10 days. Sighing, she started her car and headed towards Marty's apartment. She needed Deeks to calm her nerves and come down from her angry state. She had seen Hetty wrap up a small box in her office and instinctively knew that it was for her partner and she had to know what Hetty would've presented Marty with as none of the other members in the team have ever gotten so much as a present before from Hetty for any of their birthdays.
Hetty would always end the day with a round of some rare scotch or a wine if the team was working on any of their birthdays. If she had given Deeks a birthday present, then she definitely values him more than the other members. That made her jealous. All three had been trained Federal Agents and for all she knows have known Hetty longer than Deeks did. Kensi couldn't understand what Hetty sees in Marty. Hell, some of the times Kensi herself doesn't know why she respects and trusts her partner more than anyone else in her life.
One may argue that he is loyal but so are Sam and Callen but she didn't trust either to keep her Mom safe. She called Marty just to listen to his voice. His voice was all she needed to stay calm during the whole Claremont debacle. Somehow Marty has wormed his way through her defenses so effectively that letting him seemed to be the only logical step.
Letting him in comes with a huge amount of risk but it would definitely be worth it. A blaring horn pulled Kensi out of her thoughts as she swerved wildly to evade a crash. She pulled over and held the steering tightly to come off the adrenaline high the near miss brought upon. Taking a deep breath, she started the car again and stopped it near a convenience store. Grabbing a few chocolate bars and some soda, she made her way back to her car.
Sitting in the car, Kensi polished off two of the chocolate bars and a soda before resuming her journey towards her partner's apartment. She sighed as she noticed that his car was missing. Deeks left well before I did. Where the hell is he? Kensi thought as she started her car again. If she knew her partner well enough, he would be at his favorite surfing spot. As Kensi approached the parking area near the beach, she sighed again as there was no sign of his car. He could be at one of the bars but there are so many of them for her to go and check each one of them.
Making a decision to wait for him at his place, Kensi headed back to his apartment. She swung by a convenient store and picked few more chocolates, a bottle of wine, beers and some sodas. Kensi sat on the stairs and started munching on the chocolate bars while waiting for her partner. Her idea was to have a soda or two to accompany the chocolates till her partner arrived.
Since the hurt expression on Marty's face kept assaulting her visions and knowing his usual coping method of going bar hopping and picking up a chick for the night, she switched to the alcohol. She hoped that the liquor would stomp down the jealousy she was feeling but as she kept drinking, the alcohol simply added fuel to the fire in her.
By the time Marty arrived after his dinner with Hetty, Talia, Jenny, Maxine and Chris, Kensi had completed the whole bottle of wine and a couple of beers and was tipsy.
"Deeks" She yelled as she saw his car pulling into a parking spot. Marty froze as he heard the slurred yell emanating from the stairs. As he observed his partner stand up and immediately placing her hand on the wall to stop the fall that was coming, he sighed. He so didn't want to meet a drunken Kensi after such an emotional birthday celebration. Marty tried to delay the inevitable meeting by silently taking his time to lock his car before turning only to observe his partner losing her balance.
Marty moved quickly and held Kensi up by her shoulders to stop her from falling. He started to worry that she had driven to his place after having enough drinks to become tipsy. He couldn't understand what Kensi was doing at his place. He knew that Kensi had a date and expected her to go back to her place. He didn't want to think of a scenario where she had gone to her date's place at the end of the night or even taken him to her place.
"Where were you? I was waiting for you for a long time." Kensi asked in a slurred voice and followed it with a hiccup. As Kensi was losing her balance again, Marty had to change his posture to support her and kicked the empty wine bottle and a couple of beer cans. He understood the reason for her tipsiness. Sighing, he kept held her with an arm around her waist and one of her arms around his shoulder and carefully began the trek to his apartment.
As they finished one flight of stairs and were walking towards the second flight of stairs, they heard faint music coming from one of the apartments in that level. Kensi immediately looped her other arm around Marty and said, "I love that song. Dance with me." Kensi started swaying her hips in a drunken rhythm to the music. Rolling his eyes, Marty stopped her movements and said, "I have that song in my iPod. We can dance in my apartment."
"Ooh! Someone wants to be naughty." Kensi slurred aloud causing a nosy couple who live right below Marty's apartment give him dirty looks through the slightly opened door. Rolling his eyes again, Marty carried her bridal style to his apartment as she was singing the same song horribly out of tune. He gently lowered her legs to the floor and leaned her against the wall while he fished the keys from his pocket. Just as he stabbed the keyhole with his keys, Kensi began falling forward with her arms flailing.
Marty left the keys hanging from the door and quickly avoided the fall once again cursing for not having thought that Kensi might fall. This time, holding her flush to his side in a comical angle, he turned the key and released the dead bolt when he felt a wet sensation on his cheek. Knowing that his partner does weird things when she is drunk, he tolerated her open mouthed kisses to his cheek as he pushed the door open.
Marty half dragged and half carried her to his bed and dropped her unceremoniously on the soft mattress that lies on top of his bed. As Marty removed her shoes, he heard her say, "Did I wish you a happy birthday, Deeks?"
"Yes, you did." Marty patiently answered as he let Marty out into the yard of the building.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY." Kensi yelled this time and stood up very quickly. The tipsiness from the alcohol and the dizziness from the sudden movement caused her to fall on Marty taking him down with her. Marty stayed in the same position for a few minutes as he tried to get his bearings.
"I'm sorry." Kensi mumbled softly as Marty slowly got up and raised her into a standing position. "What was that?" Marty asked unable to decipher the incoherent mumblings from his partner.
"I'm sorry for not giving you a birthday treat." Kensi replied a tad louder the previous statement.
"It's okay." Marty said.
"No, it's not. I chose to give a treat to a moron and his Mom instead of taking my partner for dinner." Kensi continued. Marty understood that her date went horribly wrong. Sighing, he lowered her onto the bed and pulled a pair of clean sweats and a t-shirt for her to sleep in. He half dragged her into the bathroom, handed over the clothes and said, "Kensi. Wash up and change into these. I'll clean up on the stairs."
As soon as he had come out, he took a garbage bag and rushed down the stairs to clean up the mess Kensi had left there. He counted six chocolate wrappers, six empty beer cans and an empty wine bottle. There were a few more chocolates and a six pack of beers on the stairs. Shaking his head as he recognized his partner's tell of stuffing too much sugar when she was upset, Marty made his way back to the apartment with the six pack and Kensi's bag that was left on the stairs.
"Deeks" Marty heard Kensi yelling for him again as he entered the apartment. He found her at the foot of the bed wearing the clothes he had given her and a seductive smile he had never seen her wearing. He wished he was recording all this but he valued his life too much to take such a risk.
"Look what I found." Kensi held up his iPod and continued, "I want to dance." Kensi stumbled to his iPod dock and turned the music on. Taking his life into his own hands and looking away from his partner dancing away, Marty turned the music off and said in a stern tone that Kensi had never heard him use, "Kensi. No more dancing. You need to sleep."
Kensi pouted in response and made her way to his couch. Looking at the ceiling in exasperation, Marty walked to the couch. As Kensi pulled her legs close, and ignored him, he sat down wearily next to her. He hadn't gotten a chance to get some sleep since Jenny woke him up at 3 AM. Add to that, he didn't get a chance to surf to unwind after case and he himself was cranky and not in the mood to deal with his drunken partner but he is too damn caring when it comes to her to leave her like this right now.
"I promise I will take you dancing this Friday." As soon as the words left his mouth, he cringed as he saw the brightness on his partner's face. Apparently, he has a death wish. Even after hearing her dancing tales from both Callen and Sam, he hadn't learnt anything.
"Really?" Kensi yelled in both happiness and surprise.
"Really but only if you agree to go to bed right now." Marty answered confirming to himself that he did have a death wish but he was happy as Kensi stood up. As he sighed in relief, Kensi held his hand and dragged him with her. He was fully intent on camping on the couch, not knowing what to do with the touchy, feely, and drunken Kensi. He can handle a drunken Kensi as is proved by the fact that he is still alive and kicking after taking her home several times in a drunken state.
There have been times where she refused anyone to even come near her but Marty in her drunken state. He hadn't broken the trust yet and he was not about to do that at the present time either.
"No, Kensi. You're sleeping on the bed and I'm sleeping on the couch." Marty explained with gestures as if he was explaining a five year old.
"No." Kensi rejected the proposition loudly. Understanding that opposing her in this state would only lead to his hearing loss, Marty went along. He offered up the right side of the bed as all he wanted was to get some sleep and not to get into an argument with his drunken partner. But Kensi insisted on sleeping on the left side. To her tipsy mind, it seemed that giving up the right side of the bed is being nice to her partner.
Sighing in exasperation, Marty changed into sweats he used as pajamas and lied down. Kensi snuggled up to him and mumbled something incoherently as she laid her hand over his torso and rested her head on his shoulder. Even though he was curious to know what she was saying, Marty avoided any further conversation and fell asleep with his arm around his partner.
The next morning, Kensi stirred awake as she felt sun rays on her face. Rubbing her eyes, she looked around to realize that she is in Marty's bed, with no sign of her partner. Sighing as she remembered everything till she started drinking the wine, Kensi groaned partly because of the hangover she was feeling. As Kensi looked at the night stand to check the time, she noticed a note, a bottle of aspirin and a bottle of water.
The alarm indicated that it was 7:25 AM. Kensi rubbed her eyes and concentrated on reading the note.
Hey Partner,
Good Morning. I'm out for a morning run. If you're awake enough to read this, you'll find aspirin and water on the night stand. I have washed your jeans. Feel free to take a shower and any T-shirt you would like in the closet. Coffee is in the kitchen. I shall return by 8:00 AM with breakfast.
-M
Groaning again due to the raging head ache, Kensi tipped two aspirin pills into her hand and washed them down with some water. She half stumbled and half walked in to the bathroom and took a shower. Feeling more awake than she did at 7:25 AM, Kensi changed into her jeans and a grey 'V' neck T-shirt from Marty's closet.
By the time Marty returned, Kensi was drinking coffee at the kitchen counter, ready, complete with her bag. He placed the doggie bags on the counter and helped himself to some coffee.
"Bagels, muffins, and pastries." Marty said as he pushed the bags towards Kensi as she helped himself to a Bagel. Kensi helped herself to a muffin as she struggled to make sense of the previous evening.
"I take it, you date went horrible last evening." Marty started the conversation.
"Deeks, I'm really sorry. I was thinking that your birthday is on 18th. So, when Jamie asked if I could do him a favor by going for dinner with him and his mother, I agreed." Kensi was rambling.
"Jamie, as in our snitch Jamie Nunez?" Marty raised an eyebrow.
"Yes and before you say anything, remember that I carry a weapon." Kensi threatened to escape the merciless teasing.
"I wasn't going to say anything seeing that it went bad." Marty repeated his comment about the date.
"Why do you think that?" Kensi shot back.
"I collected the chocolate wrappers, and seen the empty beer cans and the empty wine bottle. Knowing you well enough, I know that you have to upset and seeing that you had gone on a date, the evidence suggests that you had a bad date. I know you don't think I'm worthy enough to be on the team but I'm Detective." Marty replied and immediately cringed as he realized that he had revealed the contempt he felt for her and the rest of his team for forgetting his birthday.
Kensi was smiling as he connected the dots but was shell shocked at the last statement. Though Marty spoke in a casual tone, the weight behind the words was too heavy to ignore. Is that what we've been making him feel? Worthless? Kensi was at a loss of words. What should I do to make him realize that I value him?
Kensi remembered the envelope. Taking a deep breath, she handed him the envelope. Marty looked at her with a puzzled expression.
"Open it." Kensi tried to keep the pain out of her voice, a pain she had felt the moment she realized her own role in making him feel worthless. That is going to change. Kensi promised herself.
"Reservations at Lake Tahoe for the next weekend…wait…from Thursday through Sunday." Marty looked at her with surprise in her eyes.
"That was supposed to be a surprise birthday gift for you." Kensi said as her voice cracked under the weight of her emotions. No one had been able to make her feel their pain ever since Jack left her but now she is feeling every bit of pain from rejection her partner had experienced from the Team.
"You really thought it is on the 18th?" Marty was surprised. He thought his partner was covering up the fact that she forgot.
"Yes" Kensi answered.
"I'm sorry Kensi. I didn't mean to hurt you." Marty tried to apologize.
"Don't." Kensi gestured for him to zip his lips. She knows it will be taxing on her being to admit that she cannot lose him but Kensi knew that Marty is worth it and continued, "Do you remember the blank call you received when I went after Claremont?" Kensi asked.
"It was you, wasn't it? I knew it. Why didn't you talk?" Marty asked as he tried to digest the snippet.
"Deeks, you're the reason I'm able to stay grounded. You were the only one I trusted to keep my Mother safe. I was close to giving up my chase of Claremont and was physically exhausted. I could've called any one on the team but I chose to call you and you alone. You know why?" Kensi asked and as Marty shook his head to indicate he didn't know, Kensi continued. "I wasn't carrying my own phone. It was the one the assassin Anya Fournier was carrying when she was posing as Megan Stevens…"
"The daughter of the journalist Peter Claremont killed." Marty interrupted.
"Yes. Yours was the only number I remember and don't need to search for or programmed into my speed dial. The reason I remember your number is because I trust you to have my back under any circumstances. I know that you would drop everything at hand if I needed you. I trust you with everything in my life, Deeks and your voice is the only thing that kept me grounded and focused on bringing Peter Claremont to justice." As Marty tried to interrupt her, Kensi put her hand up to indicate that she wasn't finished yet.
"I know, I haven't been forthcoming in trying to know you or let you in as a friend and I'm sorry for that. After Jack, I haven't been able to trust anyone to become closer than a co-worker and I somehow couldn't stop you. You know me better than most but at times I manage to screw up with my superficial and snarky comments but they are just that, Deeks, superficial. You're my friend Deeks and I wouldn't want anyone else to be my partner." Kensi finished her statement and was emotionally drained as indicated by the tears that filled her eyes.
"Kensi, I…I don't know what to say?" Marty murmured.
"Just go with me to Lake Tahoe. I know it may not be as beautiful as would've been for Christmas but still I want to go there with you." Kensi practically pleaded.
"Okay, okay. I shall request the time off." Marty replied, feeling a lot better than he did the previous night.
"Go, shower and get ready. We need to be at work by 09:30." Kensi rushed him. She had searched the apartment for the gift Hetty had given Marty but couldn't find it. Probably it's still in his car. Kensi thought.
Marty vetoed Kensi from driving while she is still recovering from a hangover and they had taken his car to work. Kensi found the unopened present on the car dashboard. Given the emotional morning, Marty decided not to annoy Kensi during the drive over to work. Kensi tried to distract herself for a long time during the travel by fiddling with the radio and finally, her patience worn down by her curiosity, she started a conversation.
"What did you do yesterday? I mean you left before I did. Agreed that the date was a failure but I was here by nine last night and you hadn't come home yet." Kensi asked.
"I had dinner with some old friends and Hetty." Marty replied trying to sound nonchalantly.
"Do I know these friends?" Kensi asked.
"Jenny, Talia and some people I've known from my time at the public defender's office." Marty replied.
"Ok! What did Hetty give you?" Kensi had enough of beating around the bush.
"I haven't opened it yet but I know what is in it and I told her I don't want it right now." Marty replied.
"What is it, Deeks?" Kensi asked exasperatedly. For a talkative guy, Deeks is being much closed mouthed right now. Sighing and not wanting to destroy any progress they had made during the emotional breakfast, Marty revealed the job offer.
"And you haven't taken it yet?" Kensi asked. Marty looked at her to see if she was judging him. Finding nothing but just curiousness in her face, Marty replied and chose his words very carefully.
"Being a cop is not just a job for me, Kens. It is who I am. The detective badge essentially describes me. I don't know if I should become a Federal Agent right now. I damn well know that after working with you folks for such a long time, I will not be able to go back and be a normal detective. A year ago, when we went after Fisk, it was tough but right now, I know I cannot be just a Detective anymore but any Team I have to work with must trust me completely, otherwise the consequences will be severe. I know that my partner trusts me but we two are only a part of the team, Kens. The day I'm sure that Sam and Callen also want me to be the part of the Team permanently, I will take the offer."
"I know about the undercover op you're working on for Granger." Kensi said out of the blue as they stopped near the condemned Spanish building that serves as their office.
"Hetty?" Marty looked at her and Kensi nodded and replied, "She wanted me to be ready to back you if needed and I'm not prepared to fail either you or Hetty." Kensi replied.
"The reason I told you I know about the op is because, Granger trusts you to carry out the mission as efficiently as a Federal Agent which means, you have his approval. Hetty and Vance also trust you, as evidenced by the job offer. I think it is only a matter of time before you gain the approval of Sam and Callen. I am looking forward to that." Kensi exited the vehicle and entered the building followed by Marty.
Kensi hoped that in the coming year, both the senior agents would attempt to see beneath the surface of her partner and give him their approval for a permanent place on the team.