All for You

by Abigail-Bluu

-To Fai, from Yuui.- If he's ever held a grudge, it can be traced back to himself. Caught up in the mess he made, he resolves to restore everything...but giving up the dream is a lot harder than he anticipated.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles or any of its characters. That honor belongs to CLAMP.

I wonder now that I've written this if it's even possible for Fai D. Flourite to hold a serious grudge. Or get angry. I prefer to think of it as 'conflicted'...

-All for You-

How dare you
Think you can barge in at any time
As though everything I do is somehow your business
How dare you
I have a life of my own
You know
Why won't you let me live it
A hundred plus years of suffering all on your behalf
Can't believe I haven't yet kicked the bucket from the stress
I would
You know
But you keep getting in the way
Just like with everything else
Everything else in this wretched excuse of an existence
Everything I do
I do for you
I've given you every part of me
What's left
I can't even use to feed the dogs
And they're going hungry
They're angry
I can see it when they look at me
They have every reason to be
But you won't leave me alone and I can't ignore you
It's you
I made a promise
I know
Nothing in any world is worth breaking that promise
The urges
The risks
The rewards
The laughter
The memories
You
Remembering you
I remember that they won't last
I shouldn't waste my time with them
What's the point if I won't even be around to see how it all ends
So why don't you come and take the rest
Of me
Right now
You wake up just long enough to slap me in the face
When I forget who I should be living for
Why don't you end the dream
Why don't you take what I've laid out for you
Why don't you snatch every thought I've ever had about myself
Why don't you remind me exactly how I promised to die
Fighting for you
All for you

I'm sorry

So sorry so sorry so sorry
What am I even saying
So selfish
Spoiled
Rotten
What have I done to you
I shouldn't even be here
This should be you
Come back
You angel why did you have to die I loved you
Did you not think you were worth enough I loved you
No
It was me
All me
All my fault
Selfish wish horrible mess don't deserve life please don't hate me
I still love you
If you don't hate me yet
Please
I will fix everything
Nobody else needs to know
I can keep up this facade until the end of my life
I don't need them I don't need anyone else
It's only ever been about you and me
And soon it will be only you
I need you I don't need myself
No more being selfish
Isn't that why I try so hard
To bring you back

It's always been
All my fault
I've always been
All for you.