AN: Written (very late) for The Kazekage of Suna's 'Signed: From' writing challenge. It was only supposed to be a few hundred words, and originally consisted of only the third entry. Because I kept getting interrupted when I tried to write it, and I've never been one to keep up with word counts (things always end up either way longer or way shorter than I anticipate...), it ended up the length it was.
Dedicated to The Kazekage of Suna, and their wonderful story 'Signed: From Your Not So Loyal Author', which I suggest you go read right now, it's hilarious! :)
February 9th
Dear Journal,
I've resisted the idea of keeping a diary until now, but I think it might be a good idea to record the zaniness that is a day with my squad. That way some day in the future, when someone says I'm making up the stories of working under Gai-sensei, I'll have written proof from the time of the event.
Like today, for instance, when I was awoken at the ungodly hour of 4am by Gai-sensei and Lee banging on my door, shouting something about morning training in the peak of youth or some nonsense.
At first, I just did what I normally do and ignored them. After about twenty minutes I gave up, grabbed my favorite weapons pouch, and threw the window open with the intention of unleashing a barrage of pointy steal upon their persons.
Neji has no right to complain. How was I to know he'd been sitting on the windowsill, tapping the glass to get my attention? It's not like I could hear him over the racket Gai and Lee were making.
Besides, Lee broke his fall.
He's just lucky I never got to the actual weapon throwing.
Gai (of course) took my yelling out the window as enthusiasm, and started yelling something back about how proud he was of how energetic I am in the mornings.
Then my neighbor stuck her head out of her window, called Gai a name I didn't think little old ladies were supposed to know, and threw a shoe at him. I admire her aim.
After that the three of them bade a hasty retreat and said they'd meet me at our usual training grounds in five minutes. I didn't even have time to for breakfast, and I was still late, mostly because I had to stop and apologize to even more neighbors before I left.
So I showed up at the training grounds at around 5am, late and hungry.
And it started raining.
Gai-sensei didn't care. He said it was excellent training conditions.
When I started to complain, even Neji took his side and said a little rain never hurt anyone.
I felt somewhat gratified when the 'little rain' became a torrential downpour, but not by much.
Signed: Your irritated, soaked, and hungry author,
Tenten
Dear Journal,
Oooookay, I think Gai-sensei and Lee have finally lost it, and taken Neji with them.
After we all got soaked in the near-monsoon, I told them I was going home to change and get something to eat before I caught my death.
Instead of doing what I thought they would (which was announce that the rain still wasn't so bad and that we could all still train in it anyway), they started acting...peculiarly.
For instance, Gai offered to treat us all at one of the barbecue places (even though it was still almost 6am). When I turned that down, Lee and Neji started suggesting dumpling and curry shops, even though Neji doesn't even like curry.
There was a certain...desperate panic to them, so I went along with the dumpling idea.
I'm sitting in one now, waiting for my food, and the three of them keep giving me these weird, encouraging smiles.
It's freaking me out.
Signed: Your very disconcerted author,
Tenten
Dear Journal,
As soon as Lee regains consciousness, I'm going to kill him. And the owners of that dumpling shop, and Gai-sensei, while I'm at it, too.
Because really, who sells liquor at a freaking dumpling shop before noon? (The shop we were in, that's who)
And who ORDERS liquor at a dumpling shop before noon? (Gai-sensei, that's who)
And then, who goes and swigs a whole drink down in one go, without even seeing if it's yours or not? (Rock friggin' Lee, that's who!)
It was freaking drunken fist all over again!
Half the shop is in ruins, Neji has two black eyes, Gai's still talking in soprano, and I'm currently wearing Gai-sensei's vest because my shirt was ripped in the fray.
And Neji and Gai STILL don't want me to go home so I can change.
Signed: Your infuriated, bruised, and half-dressed author,
Tenten
Dear Journal,
I finally just got fed up and quietly kipped off when Neji and Gai-sensei weren't paying attention.
Once they realized I was gone, they actually tried to give chase.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with them, but I'm at my limit.
As soon as I lose them, I'm going home.
Signed: Your fed up author,
Tenten
Dear Journal,
Okay, I know what the deal with my squad was today. (I don't know how this explains the rest of the time, but it does today anyway)
After the spending the better part of three hours trying to lose them, I finally succeeded and headed straight home.
When I got there, I found Hinata, for lack of better words, standing guard at my door. She panicked when she saw me, banged on my door, and disappeared inside. (Interrogating everyone to figure out how they got a key to my place is on my to-do list for tomorrow.)
Completely confused and irritated, I chased after and threw my door open, and...was hit with a bunch of confetti, and several shouts of "Surprise!", "Happy Birthday!", and "What the hell are you doing here so early?!" by several of my friends.
I stood there stunned for a minute, until Gai, Neji, and Lee (still a little hung-over) came crashing behind me, yelling something about a change of plans since they had lost me.
The looks on their faces when I turned to stare/glare at them was priceless.
They planned a surprise party for me, all three of them, and enlisted the others to fix everything up while they distracted me. There was even my favorite kind of cake.
It was one of the nicest things they'd ever done for me.
But here's the thing: It's not my birthday.
My birthday is in March, not February.
I didn't have the heart to tell them, though.
Signed: From your surprised and slightly touched author,
Tenten