It was the worst possible news Kendall Knight had ever received in his fifteen year old life.
It was more disappointing than, "Goldie is gone sweetheart, but we'll get you a new fish."
It was more life changing than, "You're gonna be a big brother, little man!"
It was scarier than, "Daddy isn't coming back; you have to be the man of the house now, Kendall."
No, it was way worst than a dead fish, but what he was losing then was far more important to him than watching a stupid little fish swim in circles all day and he couldn't even attempt to replace it. It was scarier than becoming a "man" because he wouldn't have the same support he had then. No. No, this change wasn't a cute or fun like a baby sister; it wasn't good at all.
It all started when he was out on a date with his lovely boyfriend, Logan Mitchell. The kid was a genius, and not just because he chose the blond as a boyfriend. They had been best friends since the third grade, and soon after entering high school they started to date.
Nearly a year and many frivolous arguments passed and they were still happy, and since school was released for summer vacation they were able to spend more time together. Of course, most of the time they spent with James and Carlos as a group because they had all been one big group since elementary school, but every once in a while they needed time to be alone as a couple. It was during that alone time that Kendall got the call that was the onset of the worst days of his life.
Kendall was up in Logan's room, enjoying the moans his boyfriend let out as he kissed at the skin of his neck. He smirked as the brunet moaned out his name, and one of his hands slid into his front pocket. The blond let out a surprised chuckle, rocking against the hand. "Mm, Logie."
The genius let out a chuckle this time, pulling back from the taller boy. "I was getting your phone, Kendall." He pulled out the vibrating device, handing it to him.
Kendall hadn't even realized the thing was going off until then. He didn't even feel it.
Or...maybe he did. He was kind of distracted anyway.
He took his phone, seeing that it was his mother calling. He rolled his eyes, figuring it was just her checking in on him or something. "Yeah, mom?" He answered with a bit of annoyance in his voice. He glanced over at Logan, seeing the brunet fixing his clothes and hair and cursed under his breath. The moment was over, and the odds of getting it back were slim. He then refocused his attention on his mom's voice who was frantically telling him about some good news she had. "Mom. Mom, slow down. What's up?"
"I don't want to say it over the phone. Come home as soon as you can. I want to tell you and Katie together."
That was all she said before she hung up. Kendall's brows came together in confusion as he took the phone away from his ear and hung up as well. "What's happening?" Logan spoke up from beside him.
"Mom is excited about something, and she wants me to get home as soon as possible." He sighed. "I guess I gotta go."
"You're only going next door." Logan grinned teasingly, but allowed it as the blond leaned forward, giving one last loving kiss to his boyfriend. Logan smiled as he kissed back. Kendall pulled back with another sigh, not wanting the leave the smart boy's side. "I'll see you later."
"See ya." Logan gave another peck before Kendall got up to leave.
The walk home was silent and lonely, and Kendall was mumbling that this news better be the best news ever—like recruiters from the NHL saw his last hockey game and they wanted him to play for the Minnesota Wild. Of course, that wasn't likely, but his mom's news had to be of equal or greater excitement if it interrupted his date with Logan.
As soon as he walked through the door, his mom attacked him with an excited smile, auburn hair bouncing as she run and pulled him into the living room where Katie was waiting on the couch. "What is going on?" He questioned, his annoyance now mixed with confusion.
"I don't know. She's been like that since she got off the phone earlier." Katie mumbled absently, finding more interest in her video game than what was going on.
"Okay," Mrs. Knight gestured for Kendall to sit down, and she sat in the chair across from her kids. "so you know that mommy works really hard at her job and she does everything she can to-"
"Mom, just get to the point!" Katie sighed in exasperation.
Mrs. Knight gave the young girl a look but continued. "I got a promotion!"
Kendall smiled at his mom and Katie murmured an acknowledgment. "That's great, mom!" Kendall walked over to hug his mother to congratulate her.
"Thank you." She kissed her son's cheek. "It's a little more responsibility, but I'll get paid more. Kendall could get a new cell phone and that guitar he wanted," The blond gave an interested nod, liking the sound of that. "and Katie, you can get a cell phone too, maybe even that zombie game you wanted."
"Sweet!" The small brunette was now intrigued enough to put her game away and listen. "Mom, you should get one of those forty-two inch flatscreens for the living room."
Kendall rolled his eyes at his little sister. "Unless we rearranged everything, one of those isn't going to fit."
"It might." Mrs. Knight shrugged, getting both of her children's attention again. They looked to her with confusion, and she bit her lip nervously. "Because we're moving!"
Kendall felt like his entire world was crashing around him at that moment. "What?" He heard Katie exclaimed from beside him, but from her tone she was clearly excited about the news. The blond checked out the rest of the conversation as his mind started reeling.
He was moving.
He had lived in this house for his entire life. It was more than a house. It was his home. It was within walking distance of his school, the rink, his friends, and...Logan. Fuck, Logan! He couldn't leave Logan. He wouldn't leave Logan! The two had been inseparable for years, even more so since they started dating. Kendall was pretty sure that he wouldn't feel the way he feels for Logan about anyone else. His heart wouldn't be able to take it if he had to let the brunet go. How could his mom ever think that it was a good idea?
"Kendall..." Eyes brimmed with tears, Kendall looked up at his mother who was looking at him with sympathetic eyes. Katie was missing; Kendall assumed she went upstairs so that his mom could talk to him alone. "Kendall, are you okay?" She asked gently. The teen blinked back tears, falling back into the couch with a shake of his head. "Honey," His mom joined him on the couch, pulling him into a hug. "You have to trust me when I say that this move his good for us."
"Mom, I..." Kendall swallowed hard. "Did you at least try to stay in Minnesota?"
"Yes, of course. I didn't want to put you kids through this, especially you, but they didn't give me a choice."
Kendall sighed. He could have thrown a temper tantrum like all of the teenagers on TV. He could have flat out refused to move and pouted like stubborn child, but he had to be mature. He was the "man of the house" after all. He had to see it from his mother's point of view and think of what was best for the whole family, not just himself. He knew all of that, but the fact still stood... "I can't, mom. I can't leave him."
The auburn haired woman gently shushed her son, petting his head comfortingly. "It will all be fine." She whispered, kissing his head.
"I wouldn't count on it." The two on the couch looked up at the stairs at the sound of Katie's voice. "Seventy percent of long distance relationships that aren't planned fail."
"Katie..." Mrs. Knight gave a warning.
"And forty percent of all long distance relationships break-up after four and a half months."
"Katie!" Mrs. Knight yelled when she saw the look of borderline depression wash over her son's face. "Go to your room. You're not helping." The brunette rolled her eyes, going back up the stairs to her room. "Don't listen to Katie. I'm sure you and Logan will be fine."
"Yeah..." Kendall let out a sighed sadly. "We'll be fine."
…
The next day, Kendall exhaled nervously as he knocked on the door of the house next door. He waited maybe thirty seconds before the wood door swung open and revealed his boyfriend on the other side. "Kendall!" The brown eyes visibly brightened as he pulled the tall boy into a hug.
The blond held back a whimper as the smaller boys arms wrapped around him. He didn't expect to feel so emotional before he even said hello. He had spent a whole hour preparing for the moment when he had to do this and finally made his way over when he felt like he would be able to handle it. Arms wrapping tightly around his boyfriend in return, fighting back tears of reluctance, he thought maybe he should have taken another hour to prepare.
Logan finally pulled back from the embrace, smiling widely at the tall boy. "I missed you."
Kendall felt another sting of pain in his chest and suddenly he was fighting twice as hard not t cry. "I was just here yesterday." He tried to add humor to the situation, forcing himself to smile.
"I know," Logan chuckled, pulling Kendall into his home and shutting the door behind them. "but still—I missed you."
Kendall couldn't resist leaning in and capturing those perfect lips with his own. The kiss was more urgent than usual, and Logan found it odd because...they did just see each other the day before, and yeah, within the twenty-four hours he missed being near the blond, but Kendall was kissing him as if they hadn't seen each other in over a year. The brunet gently pushed against Kendall's chest, pulling away from the kiss with slightly labored breath. "What was that for?" He stared up into the green eyes, noticing that they were shining with tears. His expression shifted into concern, cupping his boyfriend's face in his hands. "Are you okay?"
Biting his lip, Kendall struggled to find the words. How was he supposed to look into those deep brown eyes and break the boy's heart? He opened his mouth to say it—the dreaded words that was cause for his emotional turmoil—but he couldn't. Shaking his head, Kendall rested their foreheads together with a sigh. "I love you." He said quietly.
The genius' eyes widened. "Y-you do?"
"God, Logan, more than anything." Kendall pulled the brunet into a tight hug, burying his face into the crook of his neck. "I don't want to lose you." He mumbled, littering kissing all over the exposed skin of his neck.
"You'll never lose me, Kendall." Logan moved the blond's lips back to his own. Kendall was gripping the brunet tightly, needing reassurance that, even for the time being, he was still there. Logan pulled back with a soft smile. "I love you too." Kendall grinned, pulling the shorter boy back to him, their kiss once again becoming urgent. Logan ended up pressed against the door, moaning gently into the kiss at the feel of his boyfriend's obvious arousal pressing against his thigh. When they separated to breathe, Kendall's lips immediately went back to his neck. "Mm, Kendall. I think I'm ready."
"Are you sure?" The blond panted lightly, concern shining his eyes. "I-I don't want you to..."
"I won't." Logan grinned, taking his love's face in his hands and kissing him lightly. "I want you to be my first." Kendall was nearly brought to tears once again by the genius' words. He brought their lips together, lifting the shorter boy into his arms to carry him upstairs to his bedroom.
...
Kendall felt an overwhelming mixture of emotions going through him as summer went on. On one hand, he and Logan were in love and happier than ever. He never felt closer to the genius than he did the moment he finally made love to his boyfriend and he could tell that Logan felt the same from every touch, every kiss, and every I love you that was exchanged.
The one problem still stood that he had yet to tell the genius that he was moving.
In fact, he hadn't told anyone and he was going crazy keeping the secret from the three most important people in his life. With every box he packed, his guilt grew even more. When it reached the point where half the house was packed up and still no one knew, Kendall couldn't keep it in any longer.
"You're moving?" Carlos almost dropped his corndog upon hearing the news. It also probably didn't help that he was eating it while skating around on roller skates.
"You can't move!" James added, skidding to a stop by his disheartened looking best friend. He removed his helmet and immediately whipped out a mirror to check that his perfectly styled chestnut hair was...still perfectly styled. "You're the leader. You hold this group together."
Carlos joined them on Kendall's other side, but the blond still had yet to lift his eyes from the ground, only clutching the hockey stick that kept him upright. "If you move, what would happen to us? The group can't survive without you."
"I'm sure you'll all be fine." Kendall mumbled.
James blew out a defeated breath and Carlos was sporting a pout. "Where are you moving?" James asked after a few beats of silence.
"California."
The brunet gaped. "California?"
"Yeah...?" Kendall finally looked up, giving his slightly taller friend a skeptic look.
"Dude! That's the land of fame and fortune!" James shook the blond by the shoulders. He was beyond excited about the news since he knew the destination of his friend. Why wouldn't Kendall want to go to California? Didn't he realize the amazing tan he could get from that sun, and how quickly he could become a star just by standing in the right place at the right time. "I am so jealous." The pretty boy sighed almost dreamily.
"Well, I would happily let you take my place, James." Kendall mumbled, capturing a stray soda can with his hockey stick and shooting it angrily across the street and into the overturned trashcan.
"James is right, though." Carlos piped up. "The sun, the beach, the girls!"
Kendall stopped, turning to Carlos with a glare. That's when the other two caught on, mouths forming into an "O" shape as they realized what had their leader in such a funky mood. "So..." James started awkwardly. "how did Logan take it?"
"I didn't tell him yet." Kendall knocked another can into the trash, the aluminum knocking loudly against each other.
"You didn't tell him?" Carlos and James exclaimed simultaneously.
"That's what I said..."
"You're gonna tell him, right?" Carlos' worried tone had Kendall shaking his head.
"Of course I'm gonna tell him, Carlos."
"You better." James' tone was low and dangerous, the most serious Kendall had ever heard it.
He glanced at the tall boy who was racing off to hit another soda can into the the garbage. "Relax, we're not even fully packed yet."
"When do you leave?"
Kendall sighed, biting his lip as he hesitated to answer the shorter boy's question. "...Two weeks."
"Are you kidding?" James shot a glare at him.
"We only have two weeks to hang out with you?"
"No, Carlos. He only has two weeks to tell Logan." James said, getting right in Kendall's face to glare at him.
Kendall glared right back. "I'm going to tell him. Get off my back!" The blond lightly shoved the tall brunet, making him lose his footing, but he still managed to stay up.
James' eyes narrowed further and went to push the angry boy back, but Carlos came in between them, keeping them as far apart as his arms could go. "Guys, calm down." He said desperately. "You're on stakes! You could get hurt!"
The two finally stopped trying to grab at each other. James gave one final scowl at the blond hockey player before he skated away without another word. Kendall was breathing heavily as he watched the pretty boy skate away. When he was out of sight, Kendall turned back to the soda cans they had on the street, hitting each one harder than the next, no longer caring if it went into the trash, just needing to hit something. If it wasn't going to be James' pretty face, then it would have to do. After two minutes of tension-filled air, Kendall could still feel Carlos' presence behind him, clearly feeling obligated to stay there. "Just go." He mumbled.
"I don't have to..."
"But you want to." Kendall sighed when he turned around and saw all of the conflicting emotions running through the Latino's eyes. Kendall always appreciated the shorter boy's loyalty to him as well as his loyalty to James, but when it came to him, Carlos' feelings didn't go any further than a mild case of hero worship. He always thought that Carlos' feelings for James went beyond friendship and neither boy had realized it yet, but it wasn't his place to say anything. "I'm not mad, Carlos. Go after him."
Carlos nodded, giving a small smile as he quickly skated in the same direction the James went.
Kendall went home that day to see Joanna Mitchell walking around his home with a couple, telling them about the structure and history of the house. The short woman took notice of Kendall when the door shut. "You can take a look around if you'd like." She gestured around with a wide and professional smile. The two nodded, going to do just that. "Kendall," Joanna smiled, pulling the boy that was like a son to her into a tight hug. "I thought you would stay out all day while I showed the house."
"I didn't feel like being out anymore." Kendall shrugged, sitting on the arm of the couch with a slight pout. "I, um, didn't know you would be showing the house."
"Well, you're mom wanted someone she could trust, and I'm happy to help anyway I can."
Kendall nodded, lip being tugged between his teeth. "...Does Logan...?"
"No." The older woman shook her head. "He just knows that I'm showing a house." The teen nodded again, body relaxing slightly as well as thinking that it might have been easier for everyone if Joanna did tell Logan about the house. His boyfriend's mother gently sat next to him, placing a comforting hand on his back. "I assume that you haven't told him yet."
"I don't know how." Kendall croaked out. "Every time I try, he looks at me with those eyes and...I know he'll be hurt and I can't do that. I can't stand just thinking about how he'll look, what he'll say..."
Joanna nodded her head in understanding. "I know. Those eyes have a way of making you feel like an ass."
"And like a hero."
The woman nodded, kissing the teen's hair. "I'm not going to lie, it won't be easy for you to do this." She sighed. "But it will get harder the longer you wait to tell him. You're leaving in two weeks, Kendall. If you don't tell him, he'll figure it out on his own, and that might be worse."
Kendall groaned, hands rubbing his face in frustration. "I know. You're right."
"You'll figure it out, honey." Joanna smiled encouragingly. "And I promise I won't say anything."
"Thanks, Mrs. Mitchell."
Days went by and Kendall had gone through great lengths to keep Logan from finding out about him moving. He sucked up to James in order to stay on the pretty boy's good side, so that he wouldn't tell Logan out of anger. He practically had Carlos muzzled with corndogs and other food so that he would be so busy eating he wouldn't talk to Logan and nothing would slip out.
He was even harboring a "for sale" sign that used to be in his front yard up in his room.
He was aware of how ridiculous he was being, and he was even more aware that it would just be easier to tell Logan he was moving than to go to such extremes to keep him from finding out. He was also painfully aware of the rising guilt for every day that went by and he didn't tell, but when he saw that smile on the brunet's face every time he went to tell him made him feel like he was about to kick a puppy.
When the worst day of his life was twenty-four hours away, he found himself at the local arcade with his best friends. The tension in the air was obvious. Even Logan could tell by the way he was winning at Zombie Smashers because he never won at Zombie Smashers, but the genius couldn't pinpoint what the exact cause of it was. Kendall looked completely tense, James looked pissed about something, and Carlos looked like he was about to explode.
Finally the game ended and when none of the other boys spoke or even made a sound, Logan sighed. "What's going on with you guys?" He looked to the three other boys with scrutinizing eyes. His suspicions that something was up were confirmed when Kendall and Carlos began shifting uncomfortably under the gaze. "Well?"
More silence then, "Kendall is-"
"Carlos!" Kendall glared at the Latino. "Go get some pizza."
"I'm not hungry!" Carlos growled, glaring right back at the blond.
"What is going on?" Logan asked again.
"Nothing, Logie..."
"It's not nothing." James spoke up, eyes also narrowed at Kendall.
"James..."
"Tell. Him."
"Tell me what?" The genius' confusion was slowly turning to frustration and anger.
"Kendall's moving tomorrow!"
"James!" Kendall gaped at the pretty boy. Yeah, he was afraid this would happen, but he still gave his friend a little more credit than that, thinking that James would never tell Logan and that he would let the blond tell him on his own time. "How could you do that?"
"You weren't going to tell him."
"Yes, I would have if you would have just-"
"Kendall..." The brunet's soft voice and gentle hand on his leg had him turning to face a pair of brown eyes, swimming with sadness and confusion. "You're moving?" Feeling the urge to cry again because he was getting that same look he had been avoiding for a month a half. He swallowed the growing lump in his throat as he nodded slowly. "Tomorrow?" The brown eyes were narrowing, making the blond wince as he nodded again.
It was maybe ten seconds before Logan was out of his seat and moving toward the front door. "Logan!" Kendall stood to follow as did James so naturally, Carlos followed as well. "Logan, wait!" Kendall called, finally catching the brunet outside of the arcade, grabbing his wrist to stop him from going any further.
"Let me go, Kendall!" The short brunet glared at him.
"No, Logan. Let's talk."
"Fine!" Logan wrenched his arm free from the blond's hold. "How long did you know?"
"What?"
"How long did you know you were going to move?" The genius clarified, arms crossing over his chest with an expectantly narrowed eyes. Kendall's mouth gaped open and then shut repeatedly, the question catching him slightly off guard. "...Did you know the day you came over to my house and we...?" He didn't have to complete the sentence for Kendall to know what he was saying. Blinking back tears of guilt once again, the taller teen nodded. "I can't believe you, Kendall." Shaking his head, Logan turned to walk away.
"Logan, wait up." James ran to the brunet's side. "Let me walk you home."
Logan nodded, not even looking back at Kendall as he walked away. "What about you?" The blond muttered sadly, looking back at the helmet wearing boy. "Aren't you gonna go after James?"
Carlos' eyes shifted to the two brunets walking down the street and shook his head. "No. I think you need me more right now."
…
Kendall huffed as he heaved another box into the back of the car. He watched the movers move the last of the furniture into the moving truck while his mom supervised them. Katie sat in the car, eyes glued to her video game as usual. He sighed, hating every minute of the moment—even more so since his boyfriend (could he even call him that anymore?) refused to answer his calls or text the night before—but he had to think of the family before himself.
...But he seriously hated it...
"Kendall!" Said boy looked up to see Carlos running down the street and toward him. He barely had the time to prepare before the Latino was jumping into his arms and hugging him tight. "I'm gonna miss you."
Kendall sighed, wrapping his arms around the short Latino and patting his back lovingly. "I'm gonna miss you too, Carlos." He released the boy, giving a soft smile. "Where's James?"
Carlos bit his lip. "I don't know." He shrugged, eyes looking hurt and Kendall couldn't resist pulling his friend into another hug. "Hey, I'm okay." Carlos pulled away, letting out a chuckle. "This is about you...have you talked to Logan at all?"
"Carlos, I just need to accept that it's over."
"But you guys are Kendall and Logan!" Carlos insisted. "It feels like you've been together forever." Kendall shook his head sadly, slouching against the car. "I bet he's at home."
"Carlos..."
"You should go over there." Kendall was protesting the entire time Carlos pulled him to the house next door. They finally made it to the porch, and Carlos rang the doorbell for the blond. "Good luck." He said before running back next door.
He could have turned around and walked away. He really could have if he didn't want to be there, but instead he stood there and waited for the door to open. When it did, he was greeted by the surprised face of Joanna Mitchell. "Hi, Mrs. Mitchell."
"Hi, Kendall." Her tone clearly told that she wasn't expecting the blond to show up at her door step.
"Is, um...is Logan here?" He asked nervously.
"Honey," She looked absolutely heartbroken to say the next thing. "I don't think that Logan is up to having visitors right now."
"Oh..." Kendall nodded, though he couldn't deny that he was disappointed about it. "Can you just...tell him I said bye?"
Joanna nodded as well, giving a small but sad smile. "I will. Goodbye, Kendall."
"Bye, Mrs. Mitchell." Kendall walked away, fighting back tears the entire time. It wouldn't be much longer before he could be alone and he could cry his eyes out the whole situation, but until he left Minnesota, the tears would remain unshed. Unable to resist as he walked passed, Kendall took a look at the window he knew belong to the genius he was leaving behind. In it, Logan stood watching him.
He couldn't tell from where he stood how the genius was feeling—was he sad, angry, had he forgiven the blond but just couldn't bring himself to say good bye? Kendall couldn't blame him if that was the case. He knew that feeling too well. He raised his hand giving a small wave and was surprised to see Logan left his hand to wave back before James appeared beside him. He shot a glare at Kendall as well as Logan before he shut the curtains.
Despite the situation, Kendall still managed a smile, a sliver of hope in his heart as he gave one last goodbye to Carlos and climbed into the car to start his new life.
...
Seventeen year old Logan Mitchell sat quietly in his room, reading his new book for summer. He was totally engrossed in the story of science fiction and the remarkable genius of the main character when there was a knock at the door. He glanced up from the page with slight annoyance because his door was open, whoever it was could have just walked in without disturbing him and walked out. "Oh, hey James." He relaxed slightly when he saw it was the tall brunet then, turned his eyes back to his book.
The pretty boy chuckled, taking a seat on the bed by Logan's feet. "Is that all I get now? A half-hearted hey?" James mocked the shorter boy's tone.
"What else do you want, James?" The genius' nose still remained buried in his book.
"How about a kiss?"
Logan rolled his eyes, finally lifting them to give his boyfriend a tired look. "I'm reading." He held up the book for emphasis.
"Read later."
"I'm reading now."
"You can read any time."
"I could kiss you any time."
"No time like the present." James smirked, moving the obstacle away despite the other's protests and pressed their lips together.
Logan pulled back nearly two seconds later. "Okay, we kissed. Give me my book back."
James pouted. "That wasn't a real kiss." He complained.
"Yes, it was. Kissing is dictionary defined as the touching of the lips as a sign of love, sexual desire, rev-" James rolled his eyes, cutting off the rambling with another kiss. When he felt Logan trying to pull away again, his hand came up behind his neck to hold him in place. Logan groaned in annoyance but soon accepted that he wouldn't be going anywhere and finally kissed the pretty boy back.
James smirked, pushing a little farther by swiping his tongue across his boyfriend's bottom lip where he was almost immediately granted access. Logan moaned with slight discomfort when the taller boy started shifting them until the smart boy found himself on his back with James laying on top of him. He was fine with that once he was comfortable and the kiss regained it's rhythm that was thrown slightly with the movement.
What he wasn't okay with was the hand snaking its way up his shirt, but he didn't say anything for fear of coming off as prudish. The kiss continued with the spiky haired brunet being hyper-aware of what the tall boy's hands were doing and especially where they were going. James' was moaning above him and Logan's eyes rolled behind his lids, slapping the hand that went to his thigh and placing it back at his hip. James sighed, lips going to the short boy's neck, making Logan squirm away. With another sigh, he looked down at the now open eyes. "What now?"
"It's...weird." Logan frowned, brows furrowed in irritation. "Just don't do it, okay?"
James rolled his eyes in response, muttering a begrudging "fine" before moving his lips back to Logan's. The pale boy held back a relieved sigh when they were back to something he was comfortable with. James, however, had other ideas as his hands moved over his boyfriend's thighs once again and came dangerously close to the genius' cloth covered crotch. "No." Logan pulled back with a firm glare, hand batting James' away.
"Why not?" The pretty boy huffed, climbing off the smaller boy.
"Because I'm not comfortable with that, yet." Logan sat up as well, sending a small glare toward the other bothered teen. "I would think that my boyfriend could respect that."
"It's not like you're a virgin or anything." James mumbled bitterly. "You didn't have a problem with letting Kendall fuck you."
Logan glared, so many words right on the tip of his tongue but he instead went with, "I don't want to talk about this again." He turned away from the long-haired boy, unbeknownst to him that the genius' demeanor had completely shifted to longing at the mention of their missing friend.
"Fine." James stood up, glancing back at Logan. "Do you at least want to hang out with me and Carlos at the rink?"
"Uh, no thanks..." Logan sighed. The rink held too many memories of who he once thought was forgotten.
"Why?"
"I just don't want to, James." Logan snapped at the demanding tone in James voice, casting another glare the tall boy's way.
"No, there's a reason." James prodded. "You used to go to the rink all the time before Kendall left, and now you'll find any excuse not to go. It's been two years, Logan."
"This isn't about Kendall!" The smart boy insisted, but in the back of his mind knew it was a lie. He would avoid anything that reminded him of Kendall—the ice rink, the arcade where he walked away from the blond. A few weeks after Kendall left, and much crying every time he crawled into bed at night, Logan insisted that his parents get him a new bed. He even went as far as to never cross in front of the hockey-loving boy's former house.
Had James not been there, Logan would have graduated early the year before just to get out of the town that just held too much Kendall.
But no one knew that, and Logan was surely never going to admit it out loud so he came up with a new excuse everyday. "I don't think Carlos wants me to come with you guys. Did you plan that to be just the two of you guys?"
James scoffed. "Carlos isn't going to care if you show up." Logan's brows rose because yeah, he would. He didn't know if James noticed or if Carlos even realized he was doing it, but the usually bubbly and accepting Latino was trying to exile Logan from the group or something. He would make plans with James and then he would get this look in his eyes—Logan couldn't finger it exactly—when James invited him along.
After a few days, Logan just figured Carlos was used to them being able to pair off and he would get his one on one time with James. Logan didn't blame him for it. After Kendall left, it was hard getting a new groove back into their group—and frankly, Logan felt like he was intruding on something whenever he did things with James and Carlos. He doesn't want to say that Carlos made him feel that way…
But Carlos did make him feel like an outsider among his friends. The odd thing was that Carlos treated him fine when it was just the two of them.
"Come on, please." James started to plead. "It's been so long since we all hung out together."
Logan sighed, reluctantly agreeing to go to the rink, but refusing to skate. "I'll watch you guys skate and read from the sidelines, but that's it." James seemed a but disappointed, but agreed, grabbing the shorter boy's hand with a smile.
Logan smiled as well, grabbing his book. As he followed James out to his car, he caught sight of a sold sticker plastered over the for sale sign that sat outside of the former Knight household. "Huh." Logan hadn't realized he stopped walking until James was at his side.
"What's up?"
Logan couldn't explain the emotions that were running through him at that moment. That house had been empty since Kendall left, and now it was sold. "Someone bought Kendall's house." He said slowly.
"So?" James shrugged.
"So…it's Kendall's house. It has been since I moved here." At James' odd look, the genius backtracked. "It's weird imaging someone else living there that's all."
"Who cares who moves in?" James grabbed his hand again. "Let's go."
Logan allowed James to drag him away again, but his eyes remained on the sold sign until it was out of sight.
…
"James, you're here!" Carlos was running up to the couple as they entered, only slowing when he caught sight of the genius strolling in behind James, fingers locked together. "...And you brought Logan!" The Latino tried to remain enthusiastic, but it was obvious to Logan that he was once again unwelcome.
"Yeah, Logan has been cooped up in his room since school let out. I thought he should get out for a while."
"How nice." Carlos nodded with a smile.
"I'm gonna go put on my skates." James pecked Logan's lips before he wondered off to find a bench.
Logan's eyes moved nervously toward the shorter boy who's face was was inexpressive. "Don't worry, Carlos. I'm just gonna read my book in the stands while you guys play, okay? It will be like I'm not even here."
Carlos' face instantly brightened but then turned guilty. "I-I don't mind you being here." He mumbled.
Logan smiled somewhat sadly, both of them knowing that it wasn't true. Carlos had been dying to spend alone time with James, but if Carlos wasn't going to say anything about it, Logan decided he wouldn't either. "I know you don't mind, but I'd rather read anyway." The genius held up his book, walking toward the stands as James returned. "Have fun, guys."
Logan was satisfied when he actually got a lot of reading done, only occasionally distracted when James wanted Logan to watch a play or when the two friends ended up wrestling on the ice and he had to break them up. It all went fine and James and Carlos had a lot of fun together. Logan thought it was just like old times, except...
The brunet shook the thoughts from his head.
"Logan!" The genius looked up from his book when James skated over to him. "Do you wanna go?"
"Are you guys done?"
"Yeah, Carlos is hungry." James chuckled, and Logan's eyes lifted to the helmet-wearing boy laying on the ice and groaning over dramatically about corndogs. "I thought we'd go eat."
"Um...you guys go. I'll just head home."
"Do you want me to take you?"
"No, I can walk." Logan smiled, leaning over the guard to peck his boyfriend's lips. "See you later."
The short boy let out a surprised moan when James suddenly grabbed his shirt, pulling their lips back together in a deeper, longer kiss. "See ya." The pretty boy winked as he pulled back.
The smart boy nodded, glancing back to the ice to see Carlos slowly removing his helmet and quickly skating off the ice. Logan's brows came together in confusion. He left the stands quickly, just barely catching Carlos before he walked out of the front doors. "Carlos, wait."
Said boy stopped, turning to Logan with hurt and confused eyes. "What?"
"I-I'm not feeling well." The brunet lied quickly. "So, I'm gonna head home, but you and James should still go eat."
Carlos hesitated a moment. "No thanks." He muttered. Logan suddenly felt like his heart was shattering all over again. "You know...I knew this would happen."
"What would happen?"
"Without Kendall, we would drift apart." Carlos moved to walk out again, but Logan stopped him again.
"Carlos! Carlos, no. Nothing has to change."
"It's already changing! You're dating James so he's spending all of his time with you." The short boy spat bitterly. "I hardly see him anymore. This wouldn't be happening if Kendall were still here!"
"We're fine without Kendall!" Logan insisted. "You and James can hang out now if you wanted. I don't have to come along."
"It's not the same, Logan!" Carlos snapped, hard glare making the genius back off slightly. "You and I both know it's not the same and that it's weird, so why don't you just save it and leave me alone." Logan didn't stop him as his shorter friend walked through the doors and left.
…
Logan officially hated summer.
The summer before freshman year, he developed feelings for Kendall which for any boy entering high school was the most terrifying realization ever—to make things worse he had to watch Kendall and his other friends go on dates with girls while he suffered in silence. He actually spent a lot of time with Carlos that summer, becoming closer than they had been before.
Later that year when they were officially high school students, Kendall told Logan that they should go to the freshman dance together. The brunet assumed that his friend meant that they would go as friends seeing as neither of them currently had girlfriends—James was taking Leanna from homeroom, and Carlos even got a date with Melissa from Civics. It's not that no one asked Logan, but he didn't have any interest in dating or going to a dance.
Kendall noticed and in turn didn't accept any dates either, but he didn't want Logan to sit at home alone, so he asked.
The blond made a whole joke about Logan being his date the week before the dance which made the short boy's cheeks turn pink with embarrassment each time his friend would throw an arm around his shoulder and kiss his forehead for further effect. It was the night of the dance, standing outside of the gym doors that were twinkling with Christmas lights that Kendall traded the teasing forehead kisses for pressing his lips softly against the genius'.
Logan would never forget how Kendall looked that night as he looked into the others eyes and told him that he liked him. Logan grinned widely at the words, pulling his then boyfriend into another kiss. Logan's heart then ached as he remembered the following summer when Kendall, his first love, his first everything, walked out of his life.
After the events of that summer, Logan couldn't even bring himself to keep in contact with the blond, not out of anger, but because of the pain in his chest whenever he even thought of him. He didn't think he would be able to handle seeing and hearing him but not being able to touch. When Kendall didn't even attempt to contact him, he assumed that the blond felt the same.
James followed Logan's example, deciding that Kendall wasn't worth his time, obviously holding a grudge about how he handled the moving situation. Logan assumed that Carlos and Kendall still talked some of the time, but he never talked to Logan about it. It was clear to anyone that saw the smart boy that he missed his best friend more than anything.
James was always there though—to wipe a tear, to hold him, and just offer his presence as a distraction for the shorter brunet. Logan couldn't thank James enough for being there for him—and Carlos too because of course there were some days that the Latino tagged along.
But come mid-sophomore year, James and Logan started to date and Logan's once very close relationship with Carlos started to dwindle one day at a time. After almost two years of James and Logan going on dates while Carlos was left at home alone and group outings when all of James' attention would be on his boyfriend, something finally gave.
After that day at the rink, Logan had tried several times to call, text, and visit his helmet wearing friend, but he was clearly being ignored. James told him not to worry about it, that Carlos would come around eventually because he was Carlos. Whatever Logan did, the short ball of energy would forgive him in no time. A week went by then another and another. By the time summer was practically over and Logan had hardly even seen Carlos, he was sure that he had lost another friend.
The frustrating thing was that he barely knew what he did and had no way of finding out because Carlos hated him for whatever he did.
The genius groaned, throwing his book aside. He couldn't focus on it anyway. All he could think about was Carlos and Kendall and...where the hell was James? Out of all the times the pretty boy had barged into his room and distracted him, now would be the time to do it. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand, sending a quick text to his boyfriend before he got up and started pacing, needing to move.
About half an hour later, James strolled into his room, looking worried. "What's up? You said you needed me."
Logan grabbed the tall boy's shirt, pulling him into a rough kiss. James blinked in surprise and confusion, only hesitating a moment before he kissed back, bringing the short brunet closer to him. Logan continued to surprise him as he backed them up to the bed until James was sitting with Logan straddling him. He was panting lightly as the usually shy boy pulled back from the kiss, moving his lips to the others neck as he set to work on unbuttoning the muscular boy's shirt.
He wasn't thinking. He couldn't think. Every thought in his head was a painfully memory of Kendall or the hurt from losing Carlos. He knew that James wanted this for a long time and he couldn't risk losing James. If this is what James needed to keep him around, then Logan would do it.
James groaned, taking hold of the smaller boy's hips, thrusting up to rub their growing arousals together. "Logan..." He breathed watching his boyfriend trail kisses down his now bare chest. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
The smart boy's eyes widened, stopping what he was doing to look up at the boy beneath him with scared eyes. "You don't?" He blinked back approaching tears. "I-I mean, I thought..."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Logan," James sat up straighter, cupping the teary-eyed boy's face in his hands. "what's wrong?"
"I just..." Logan shook his head, feeling a tidal wave of emotions come over him. He climbed off the pretty boy's lap, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. "I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry."
"It's okay." James started rebuttoning his shirt, eyes glancing to the boy beside him repeatedly to make sure he was okay. "What's going on with you?" He finally asked, wrapping his arms around Logan to bring his closer. "Is this about the Carlos thing?"
Logan sniffed. "It's Carlos," The pale boy wiped his eyes, burying his face into the taller boy's shirt. "it's Kendall, it's you, and everything else."
"Wait, what did I do?" James looked genuinely worried that he had done something to upset the boy in his arms.
"Nothing." Logan gripped the front of his shirt in his fists. "Just promise me you'll always be here. No matter what happens between us, we'll always be friends."
James nodded, pressing a kiss to the short boy's forehead. "I promise."
…
On the other side of the once empty house, now plagued with moving vans, that once belonged to their blond leader, Carlos laid sadly on his couch, absently watching the images on the TV flash in front of him. His mother, Sylvia, had spent more than an hour in the kitchen making all of his favorite foods, only to have him turn them down every time. Sylvia was worried for her son. After the first few days of summer he came home looking like a sad puppy, sat on the couch and barely moved. Not even her infamous pick me up sundae could rouse him.
She stood in the kitchen, watching her son with a frustrated expression. She sighed heavily, moving the last of the freshly baked cookies onto a plate and wrapping them in plastic. "Carlos!" She called, frowning when she got a grunt in response. "Hijo, why don't you go next door and give these cookies to the neighbors?" She suggested, giving the back of the sad teens head a smile.
"I don't fee like going out..." Carlos mumbled.
"You can't stay on the couch all summer." Sylvia tried to reason. "Why don't you take the cookies over then go play with Logan and James?"
"We're seventeen; we don't play anymore. Besides," Carlos' bottom lip poked out slightly, eyes lowering sadly to look at his hands. "James and Logan are probably on a date or something. They don't need me around."
"Carlos," The short woman sighed sadly, walking over to kneel in front of the couch where the raven-haired boy laid. "I know things have changed since Kendall moved away-"
Carlos snorted. "No kidding."
"but," The woman continued. "That doesn't mean you can't be friends with James and Logan anymore. You've known them forever."
"But every time I'm around, all James wants to focus on is Logan! It's like someone always has to be thinking of Logan." The Latino explained in exasperation. "At least when Kendall was here, he could think about Logan, Logan can think about Kendall, and James and I could think about each other." He pouted again, frustrated tears gathering in his eyes. "He didn't need Logan."
"Oh, Carlos." Sylvia smiled sadly, running her fingers through her son's hair affectionately in a tone that made the teen's eyebrows come together inn confusion. "James will always need you, whether he sees it now or not."
"I'm...confused..." Carlos stared at his mother with puzzling eyes.
Sylvia then broke out into a larger grin, patting Carlos' arm as she chuckled. "Don't worry about it, baby." She stood up and went back to the kitchen.
"But wait," The short boy sat up to continue to watch his mother. "What are you talking ab-"
"Come get these cookies and take them next door." His mother spoke over him. "Then go find James and-or Logan and get out of the house." When Carlos sighed, finally standing up to get the plate of cookies, Sylvia smirked playfully but also with a hint of seriousness. "I'm locking you out until six, so don't even think about coming back until then."
The short teen managed a small smile as he grabbed the plate and walked next door. He was still confused about what his mother was talking about, James eventually seeing that they need each other. James was his friend and they were a team. Of course, James knew how much they needed each other, the only problem was Logan.
Carlos hated being mad at his friend especially since he didn't do anything—at least nothing he could figure out—but he just couldn't handle being around the pair and feeling a third wheel, like he didn't belong there.
It only made him miss having Kendall around that much more.
He walked into the yard of the house that used to belong to said friend, standing back to let the movers move in and out until he was able to get to the door without being in the way. He plastered on a large, but fake smile as he knocked on the open door to get the attention of someone who was moving in. "Hello?" He looked around, not seeing anyone who wasn't in a "Benny's Movers" uniform.
Finally he heard the sounds of someone moving down the stairs. The first thing he noticed was the bouncy auburn hair, then the familiar bright and welcoming eyes. "Mrs. Knight?"
"Carlos!" She ran to the Latino, giving him a tight hug. The teen hugged back hesitantly, not sure if he were dreaming or not, but it felt like Mrs. Knight, sounded like her...smelled like her. "How have you been?" The tall woman asked, pulling back.
"I'm great...what are you doing here?"
"Oh, I got transferred back with the same job, same benefits, and I was pleased to find out that we get to live in the same house." Mrs. Knight explained with a wide smile.
Still slightly dumbfounded, Carlos stared at the woman, taking everything she just said. "We? Wait, so...Kendall and Katie are with you?" A hopeful smile was slowly forming.
"Of course. They were ecstatic to come back to Minnesota—especially Kendall."
"Is he here?" Carlos asked hurriedly.
Mrs. Knight laughed, pointing to the stairs. "Up in his old room."
Carlos ran toward the stairs, then turned back, handing Mrs. Knight the plate of cookies. "Welcome the neighborhood." He said breathlessly, then turned back to run up the stairs. Mrs. Knight laughed, turning to go put the cookies away.
Carlos rushed up the steps, remembering perfectly well where the blond's bedroom was located. He stood in the open doorway, just looking at the friend he missed move items from moving boxes for just a moment. He looked different—taller...much taller. He stopped wearing his hair so long, now shorter and slightly ruffled. His wardrobe changed, now more colorful with his plaid button down, and more fitting in his skinny jeans, and from all the shoe boxes, Carlos could tell that his friend had developed a love for Vans.
But somehow he still looked the same.
Kendall must have felt eyes on him because he looked up toward the door, grinning widely when he saw his Latino friend staring at him from the doorway. "Hey, buddy!" The blond turned to him.
Unable to contain himself any longer, the sound of the tall boy's voice enough to confirm that he was real and not robot, Carlos ran into Kendall's arms, almost knocking him over from the force of the hug. When Kendall got his footing back, he wrapped his arms around the short boy with an amused smile. "It's you! It's really you!" Carlos spoke into his chest.
"Yeah, it's me." Kendall patted Carlos back.
The tan boy finally pulled away, punching the taller in the shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?" He demanded.
"Ow," Kendall rubbed the abused area. "I wanted to surprise you guys."
Carlos sighed, deciding that was a good reason to keep a secret, then he smiled again. "I missed you, dude." The short boy was back in his arms. "I don't think you don't understand how much."
"You look weird without your helmet, dude." Kendall ruffled the Latino's short, dark locks. "When'd you give up the helmet?"
"I would never give up helmet." Carlos made clear. "I've done a little growing up since you left." He continued proudly and Kendall nodded, looking impressed. "I only wear my helmet when I need it, and I eat chicken shaped like regular chicken, now."
The tall boy cracked an amused smile. "Fancy."
"I know right!"
"So, fill me in on everything I've missed." Kendall smiled widely, gesturing for Carlos to sit on his bed while he continued to unpack.
Carlos plopped down on the bed, thinking about where to begin. His first thought was the obvious and more substantial thing of all, but he quite know how to say it. "Um...we go back to school soon..." He answered.
Kendall chuckled from his spot across the room. "Yeah, I know. I'm going to school with you guys."
"That's great!" The Latino grinned, slightly relieved. "Maybe we'll have the same classes and stuff. I'll have someone to hang out with during school." He was genuinely worried that with his sudden detachment from his group—and the fact that people think he's a little weird—that he wouldn't have anyone to hang out with all senior year.
"Why wouldn't you have anyone to hang out with?" The blond faced him with furrowed brows. "What about Logan and James?"
Carlos' mouth opened and closed as he thought. "They're gonna be busy all year." He finally came up with. "You know, Logan with his college applications and James is going to be working twice as hard to get into whatever colleges Logan applies to-"
"Whoa," Kendall stopped him with a short laugh. "Since when does James want to go to the same colleges as Logan?"
"He doesn't!" Carlos' eyes widened when he realized his slip up and attempted to quickly backtrack.
"But you just said-"
"Forget what I said! My mom has been baking all day. I've had a lot of sugar and-"
"Carlos!" The short boy quickly shut his mouth when Kendall yelled. The blond dropped what was in his hands, and sat on the bed beside his timid friend. "Slow down, okay?" Carlos eyes turned downward, twiddling his thumbs guiltily. "I feel like you're jumping all over some major detail that's going to make everything make sense." One glance at the remorseful expression on his friend's face, Kendall sighed. "I can also guess that I won't like what I hear."
"I don't think you will..." Carlos mumbled.
Kendall took a deep breath, letting it out through his mouth. "Okay...tell me..."
The raven haired boy hesitated a moment longer. "James and Logan are dating."
Silence.
Carlos expected Kendall to yell. He expected the blond to go on a rampage on James and Logan, but to his surprise Kendall reached over to him, wrapping a comforting arm around his shoulder. "How are you handling that?"
There was that tone again! What was that? "Me?" Carlos' brows rose and he shrugged. "I'm okay...what about you?"
The blond's brows furrowed, eyes flickering with an unintelligible emotion. "I'm okay, too."
"Are you sure?" Carlos turned slightly to get a better look at the tall boy. "It's okay to be upset. I get it."
"I made my peace with that a long time ago, Carlos." Kendall chuckled. "Logan and I weren't meant to be, and I can't dwell on a relationship I had back in freshman year."
Carlos' eyes narrowed as he watched Kendall stand up quickly to go unpack more boxes. "But it bothers you. I can tell."
"It's a little weird, I'll admit."
"Yes! Thank you!" Carlos exclaimed suddenly, making Kendall jump and turn to look at the short boy once again.
"But it doesn't bother me." Kendall finished, making Carlos roll his eyes. "If James makes Logan happy and vice versa-"
"I not saying they don't make each other happy. I just think there are people out there who can make them happier."
"Like...?" Kendall's brow rose inquisitively, wondering what the short boy would say next.
"Well..." Carlos paused, thinking hard. "...things were easier when you were dating to Logan." The dark brown eyes widened as the light bulb above his head went off. "You should date Logan again!"
"What?"
Carlos jumped off the bed, racing over to Kendall and taking him by the shoulders. "This is perfect!" He was jumping up and down in excitement. "You're back now and you can date Logan so that James won't have to anymore."
"Carlos, that's crazy!"
"No, didn't you hear me? It's perfect. Everything can go back to how it was."
"Carlos-"
"No, Kendall! Without you the group sucks, okay?" Carlos eyes turned pleading. "We tried to keep it going, but James only cared about Logan, and I started fading into the background. When they're together, they're being all couple-y and at least when you were dating Logan and that happened I had James to talk to and hang out with. Now I have no one."
"Oh, Carlos..." Kendall frowned, pulling the short boy into a hug, making Carlos brows come together in confusion at that tone appearing once again. "We don't have to do anything crazy. We have each other. It won't be exactly the same, but you won't be alone this time."
Carlos frowned in thought because while Kendall wasn't James—his buddy, his partner—he was still a friend which was better than nothing. Maybe he be able to stomach being around his other two friends with Kendall there to distract him.
…
Logan's forehead was wrinkled in concentration, trying to find the appeal of this neck kissing thing that James just insisted to do to him, but he wasn't feeling it. Normally he would push the pretty boy away, telling him to cut it out, but it was little sacrifices like this that kept James happy and if James was happy he wouldn't leave.
The genius winced as teeth sunk into his neck but moaned anyway. He was grateful for the distraction when his phone started to ring. He tried to glance at the caller ID, but James lifted his lips back to his own. "Ignore it." He mumbled into the kiss.
He tried, he really did, to ignore the ringing, but it was the short brunet's instinct to answer his phone in case of emergency. Freeing his arm from their embrace, Logan grabbed the device off of his nightstand and was surprised to see Carlos' name flashing across the tiny screen. He quickly pushed the tall boy off of him and answered. "Carlos?" He said maybe a little too eagerly.
"...Hey, Logan, what's up?"
"Nothing! Nothing at all!" Logan's face broke out into a grin because...he was talking to Carlos! Carlos was talking to him. Carlos actually initiated communication with him. Maybe the Latino didn't hate him after all. "What's up with you? I haven't heard from you in a while." Nearly all summer, but who's counting?
"Yeah, sorry about that." Carlos said quietly. "I got really busy, but I was wondering if you and James wanted to hang out...like old times?"
"Yes!" Logan answered quickly then backtracked. "I mean, yeah, that sounds cool."
"Awesome. The arcade?"
"Sounds great." Logan could hardly contain his excitement, but he didn't want to scare Carlos away when he barely had his friend back. "We'll see you there."
…
After helping Kendall unpack more boxes, the two friends made their way to the arcade and Carlos couldn't be happier.
It had been so long since they all hung out, not just the three of them, but all four of them together. It was almost like old times, and at least now when James was distracted by Logan, he would have Kendall. It took some convincing to get the blond to agree to the outing—he was nervous about seeing Logan again after what happened between them, that much was clear to Carlos—but after some pleading and bargaining, he was able to get his friend out the door...
After he got some money from his mom to treat Kendall to a pizza and three games of air hockey.
Carlos' mom was surprised to hear that her son was actually going out for the day to hang out with his friends. She was even more surprised to see that the "new neighbors" were the Knights. She half expected for Carlos to come right back home—he'd more likely sit outside on the porch than try to get back inside. She happily gave him permission and money to go hang out with his friends.
When the pair got to the arcade, James and Logan were already there waiting for them.
Carlos grabbed Kendall's wrist, attempting to pull the blond along, but he didn't move. "What's up?" The short boy looked to his friend with concern.
Kendall was looking at the table where his former friends were sitting with a nervous expression. The Latino let out a small yelp when he was suddenly yanked behind a pinball machine. "Carlos, why don't you give me the money and I'll get the pizza? I'll meet you at the table."
Carlos' head tilted in confusion. "Why? Are you scared to see Logan and James again?"
"No!" The tall boy laughed, waving off the accusation.
Carlos saw right through that. "Yes you are." He poked the other other's chest sharply. "What happened to things going back to normal? That's not gonna work if you can't even go over there."
"I can go over there! I just...give me a minute to prepare myself, okay?"
The short boy eyed his friend suspiciously for a moment. "Fine." He turned around, leaving Kendall another moment to collect himself. When James and Logan looked up, finally noticing him, they smiled brightly and Carlos couldn't keep the smile off of his face. He hadn't realized how much he missed seeing them until that moment.
"Hey, Carlos." Logan spoke first but almost hesitantly. "How have you been?"
Carlos shrugged as he took a seat on the other side of the booth that they occupied, right across from James. "I'm okay. Great, actually." He smiled widely.
"I'm glad to see you so happy, Carlos." James smiled back at him, reaching across the table to squeeze his Latino friend's hand.
Maybe Kendall and Logan were the only ones who noticed the way Carlos' smile became impossibly wider.
"It was starting to feel like you were avoiding us." The pretty boy continued. "I missed you, dude."
There was an indescribable flutter in the pit of Carlos' stomach and he cheeks flushed in a way that he couldn't explain if he tried. "I missed you too." The fluttering disappeared once James moved his hand from his and wrapped his arm around Logan, bringing his boyfriend closer. After clearing his throat, and moving his hand from the table, Carlos faced Logan and quickly added, "Both of you."
Logan nodded just nodded, starting to feel that feeling of not belonging again, that this wasn't something he should be apart of. But Carlos called him. He had to want to hang out with Logan too. "So, what made you call me out of the blue, Carlos?"
"Well, like I said, I missed you, and I have a surprise for you." He started bouncing excitedly in his seat.
Logan and James' brows lifted in curiosity. Carlos' surprises were usually dangerous and-or scary, so naturally they were a bit hesitant about this. "What is it...?" The genius asked slowly.
"Relax, you're gonna love it!" Carlos turned around to where the blond was standing. "Kendall!"
Logan's eyes widened. "K-Kendall?"
"Kendall?" James questioned as well, though his expression showed that he was less than pleased with this news.
"Yeah, he's back." Carlos continued to look around for his plaid-wearing friend, James and Logan joining him, but he was nowhere in sight. The tan boy frowned when he realized that Kendall must have chickened out. "Damn it, Kendall." He grumbled.
"Carlos," James spoke up, getting his shorter friend's attention. "Are you sure Kendall's back? This isn't like that time you sore you saw an alien in your attic is it?"
"No! Kendall is really back and he wanted to hang out with us like old times. That's why I called Logan."
The short brunet wasn't sure how he felt about that news.
"He must have freaked out and went back home." The Latino pouted.
Desperate to mend his friendship with Carlos despite whatever was happening in the small Latino's head, Logan spoke up. "Carlos, we can still hang out—the three of us."
Glancing up at the couple, Carlos shook his head. "No, I'm gonna go find Kendall and make sure he's alright." He stood up from the booth, giving a solemn wave to his two friends. "See you later."
The genius slumped down in his chair with disappointment when Carlos walked out of the arcade. "Hey," He looked up when James reached down to squeeze his hand. "He'll come around, okay?"
Logan shook his head. "He only wanted to hang out with us because Kendall's back. When Kendall left, he wanted nothing to do with me."
"He left both of us here."
"Because he knew you wouldn't leave me." Logan practically whined. "Do you think that if it was just you here and Kendall bailed that he would have left? Face it. He has some sort of problem with me now."
James said nothing, knowing that Logan was right.
"And what about Kendall? Why did he leave? He didn't even say anything to us."
"He could have been avoiding me." The pretty boy cut in. "Kendall and I didn't exactly end on a good note."
"Neither did we and I still wanted to talk to him." The short brunet insisted then paused to think. "Do you think that he thinks I'm still upset about what happened?" He asked quietly.
James' eyes narrowed. "Aren't you?"
"Not really." Logan responded slowly. "It was a stupid thing that happened two years ago."
James rolled his eyes. "Well, it doesn't matter now, so let's stop talking about it." He let out an annoyed sigh. "Let's go. I'll walk you home."
Later that day after the sun had fallen, James finally had to go to his own home for dinner, and a long debate with himself, Logan slowly walked next door, hands nervously stuffed in his pockets. He didn't know what to expect when he got there. Maybe Kendall wouldn't even want to see him. It definitely crossed his mind that after two years in California, Kendall found someone new, someone better for him.
Not that it mattered to him anyway. He had a boyfriend. He had James.
But it doesn't mean that he couldn't at least try to have Kendall in his life too—even if it wasn't in the way it was then. He finally approached the Knight's front door, and after a bit more hesitation, he knocked. He heard Mrs. Knight on the other side of the door yelling for Kendall or Katie to answer the door. Logan let out a chuckle, imagining that the two siblings arguing over who would get the door and that's what caused the delay before Katie finally appeared.
"Logan?" The girl looked surprised but ecstatic though she was trying to hide it.
"Hey, Katie!" The genius grinned. "You almost look like a little adult." He teased, gesturing to the more mature clothes that the preteen donned.
Katie grinned, surprising the genius by wrapping her arms around him in a hug. "I missed have you idiots around." She mumbled before she released him.
"Uh...thanks?" Logan chuckled. "I just came here-"
"To see Kendall." She finished with a small smirk. "I know. It's all you ever came to our door for."
The brunet could feel a blush covering his cheeks as Katie invited him inside and then went into the kitchen, calling for Kendall. His heart started beating wildly in his chest at the sound of footsteps approaching the foyer, then Kendall was right in front of him, eyes locking, and...where did all the oxygen go?
"H-hey..." Logan managed to choke out.
"...Hey..." Kendall cautiously came closer. He managed to curl his lips upward in a small smile. "It's been a while."
The brunet nodded. "It has." He let out a breath to relax him. "I heard you were at the arcade today."
"Oh, yeah...sorry...I didn't..."
"It's okay. I totally get it." Logan said immediately. "I just came by to let you know that...there's no hard feelings or anything, and there's no reason why we can't still be friends."
The tall boy smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'd like that."
The genius gave a nod, unsure as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the other's middle. He relaxed with a sigh when long arms wrapped around him in return. Maybe the hug went on a little too long, but Logan wasn't sure he cared at the moment. All he cared about was that he had Kendall back.
…
Logan breathed in deep and content smile spread across his face. "I missed you so much." He mumbled, pressing has face deeper into the newly distributed Biology book and taking another savoring whiff.
James eyed him from across the table. "Logan, it's a book." He chuckled.
"No, James. It's a Biology book; it's science; it's school; it's normal." Logan couldn't even begin to describe the relief he felt when school finally started again. The last two weeks of summer were the most awkward of Logan's life. Once Kendall and Logan officially reconciled, the four of them began hanging out like old times.
Except it was nothing like old times.
Kendall and James had their moments when they fought before, but it seemed as though they didn't want to be anywhere near each other since Kendall's return, but they sucked it up for the sake of Logan and Carlos who craved the normality of the years before Kendall moved.
It was obvious to anyone that things were different between the four friends. James was constantly wrapping his arm possessively around his genius boyfriend whenever Kendall got too close, creating an obvious and borderline hostile tension between the two tall boys.
Carlos would try to get James' attention, but the pretty boy was always more distracted with making sure Kendall and Logan didn't become too friendly with one another. Logan would try to get Carlos' attention, but it was becoming more and more clear to the brunet that his short friend wasn't interested in making peace between them.
The relationship between the four of them had changed so much that Logan wasn't even sure if he could still call them all friends. So when school began, Logan was eager to get back to learning, textbooks, and seven to eight hours of...normal. "I can't wait to start studying." Logan smiled as he flipped through the pages.
James rolled his eyes, moving his attention back to his lunch tray, though the food on it was probably inedible. "I can't believe we only have lunch together." The tall boy mumbled. "You'll still help me study, right?"
"I've helped you study every year, haven't I?" The smart boy chuckled at his boyfriend. "I'll have to work out a schedule between you and Kendall though." He added without thinking.
James dropped his fork, eyes narrowing at the short boy. "You're gonna tutor Kendall?"
"Yeah," Logan shrugged, not taking notice of his boyfriend's disapproval. "It's only the first day, but we can both already tell that he's gonna need help in the AP courses."
"Wait, you have classes together?"
Logan rolled his eyes as he caught the tone. "We didn't plan it, James." He sighed. "We only have two classes, and aren't we supposed to all be friends?" When James huffed and crossed his arms stubbornly, Logan rolled his eyes again because the pretty boy had the maturity of a two year old.
"Fine, but if you tutor Kendall, then I wanna be there." The long-haired brunet insisted to which Logan shook his head.
"No, you'll just distract him by being an ass." James opened his mouth to protest but Logan cut him off with a glare. "Don't even pretend you haven't been a jerk to him on purpose! He just got back and he wants his friends back. Is it too much to ask that you be nice to him?"
"I can't help it, Logan. I'm trying to protect you from getting hurt again, or do you not remember what he did?"
"I remember, but I also get it now. He was afraid of hurting me and was just trying to protect me, just like you are." Logan placed a hand on James' shoulder, squeezing softly. "While he didn't make the best decision, he had good intentions." James was wearing a small pout, making Logan let out a soft laugh. "Maybe while I tutor Kendall, you can hang out with Carlos. You two haven't spent any real time together in a while." James still looked unsure. "I heard Carlos is close to beating the high score in Motor Speedway down at the arcade."
"But," James sat up quickly. "that's my score." Logan shrugged, hiding his smug smile behind his carton of milk. "Oh, he is going down!" Just then the bell rang, and the two gathered their trash, saying their goodbyes to one another as they separated to their next classes.
Over the next few weeks, the four friends fell into an easy routine. Logan would tutor Kendall on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays while James and Carlos hung out and did whatever it was those two did. Logan never asked, and to his surprise, James never asked about what went on in his tutoring sessions with Kendall—which wasn't much. They studied and if they finished early they would talk about whatever came to mind until Kendall had to go home for dinner. Sometimes Kendall stayed for dinner at Logan's house, and other times Logan went next door and joined the Knights.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays James would come over for Logan to tutor him. What used to be their only time alone together, soon became Logan, James, and Carlos time. Logan welcomed Carlos to their study sessions because it meant that the short Latino didn't mind being around him anymore. The only problem was that it took twice as long to tutor James and Carlos together because they would distract each other. Carlos would get bored with his assignment and start throwing erasers at James. The pretty boy would ignore him at first, but he always eventually had to retaliate.
Once that happened it became an all out war, complete with weapons, forts, and battle cries. It's almost always what Logan returned to his room to see. The day Logan took their erasers away and made them use pens, he came back to a paper war. It was a hassle to get them to settle down again and work.
By the time James and Carlos left for the night, Logan would call Kendall and tell him all about his day with those two. "They make quite a pair." Kendall laughed after hearing about that day's battle.
"Yeah, they do." Logan laughed with him as he cleaned up the remains of crumpled paper and bits of erasers of his floor. "I almost forgot how much chaos they can cause together. It's almost like they're making up for lost time by getting into more trouble. They've hung out almost everyday after school since it started again."
A beat of silence on the other side. "When do you and James have time to hang out if he's always with Carlos?"
Logan paused from his clean up, brows furrowing as he thought. "I...guess we don't really hang out alone anymore." He shrugged, finding that he didn't mind that much. "I'm busy with school stuff and tutoring you, the only time I ever see James is at lunch and when I'm supposed to be tutoring him."
"That's weird." Kendall commented then proceeded slowly. "Did you guys...break up...or something?"
"No, we're just busy I guess." Logan wouldn't say that he actually liked James a lot more now that they were spending less time together than when James was over everyday. He wouldn't deny it, but he just wasn't going to say it.
"Well, if you want, we can cancel tutoring me tomorrow and go out with James."
"No, James and Carlos have plans tomorrow. Something about raiding the castle, defeating a dragon, then saving a princess. So their afternoon is pretty much booked." He and Kendall laughed at that. "But if you really want a break from studying, we can join them."
"Yeah, that sounds fun. I gotta go. See you tomorrow."
"See ya." Logan smiled to himself as he hung up the phone.
…
Kendall was trying to put on his shoes and button up his shirt at the same time when Logan came to the door. He heard Katie answer it, telling the genius that "Kendall is upstairs being an idiot, but he's almost done." He almost yelled for her to stop embarrassing him if he hadn't promptly fallen to the ground as soon as she finished.
The blond huffed. New plan—finish buttoning his shirt, then put on his shoes.
He could hear Logan laughing from downstairs, and he wasn't sure if it was because of something else embarrassing that Katie said or if Logan heard his fumble. Either way, he had never been happier than he was when that wonderful sound was back in his life.
He tried to stop himself from once again falling for the short boy, but it was to no avail. Logan was irresistible to him. The moment he came by his house and told him that he still wanted to be friends—he flashed that smile, taking his rightful place in his arms—Kendall was done for. From that moment on, Kendall knew he would never want to go another day without the genius in his life and...he never felt more guilty about it.
Because while his feelings for Logan were coming back full force, the fact still stood that Logan had a boyfriend. James made it clear that he didn't want Kendall and Logan around each other and that he really cared for Logan. Kendall wasn't going to go after his best friend's—even if he is being an asshole—boyfriend. He wasn't that type of guy. Not like James. But Logan was happy with him and that's all that mattered. At least he knew that Logan was being taken care of.
Kendall finally got his clothes and shoes on, moving quickly down the stairs to rescue Logan from Katie's evil clutches. "Alright, let's go." He announced, interrupting his little sister's story.
Katie glared at him and Logan let out another laugh. "You can tell me about all the hustles you pulled later, Katie." He stood, giving the young girl a smile as Kendall guided him out of the front door.
"Fine." She sighed. "Enjoy your date." She called over her shoulder with a smirk just before the front door closed.
"Katie!" Kendall glared at her, and she responded by sticking her tongue out at him. Kendall did the same then shut the door. If his heart wasn't threatening to beat out of his chest before, then it was now. He didn't want to scare Logan off by making him think that he was coming on to him or something, but when he turned around, he saw that Logan was laughing which allowed him let out a breath and relax.
"You guys haven't changed at all." He shook his head, stepping off of the Knight's porch and beginning the walk to the arcade.
Kendall shrugged as he followed. "I wasn't going to let the move change me."
"You definitely dress better." Logan smirked, playfully nudging the taller's side.
Kendall let out chuckle. "You're one to talk. You have completely eliminated sweater vests from your wardrobe, and that hair..." Logan blushed, running a hand through his gelled and spiked hair. "Does James pick out all of your clothes now?"
"Pfft." Logan rolled his eyes. "Yes."
Kendall snorted. "I guess that's a perk of having him as a boyfriend."
The genius hummed and they fell into a comfortable, yet still a little awkward silence. Kendall tried not to show how the word effected him. After a few minutes of walking in silence, Logan spoke again. "James and I talked this morning. We decided to break up."
Green eyes widened. "What? Why?"
Logan shrugged. "Like you said yesterday, we don't really spend time together anymore, and...to be honest, we both seem happier to spend time apart than together."
"Oh," Kendall bit his lip. "That...sucks."
The short boy laughed loudly. "I guess." He finally sobered up. "It was for the best anyway. James thinks he likes someone else...and I finally realized that things were just too weird with James. It didn't feel right." He sighed. "He was just in the right place at the right time, and I convinced myself that I had those type of feelings for him. I guess I kept him around because I didn't want to feel lonely. You were gone, and Carlos...I don't know what happened with Carlos, but James was all I had, so I did everything I could to keep him around."
Kendall nodded in understanding, hesitating before he spoke again. "I'm really sorry you had to go through that, Logie." The blond, said hanging his head slightly. "I didn't mean for what happened to happen."
"I know." Logan gave him a small smile as they came to a stop right outside of the arcade. "And I want you to know that I don't regret any part of our relationship at all."
"Really?" Logan nodded, but Kendall's expression still turned guilty and full of remorse. "Because after what we did-"
"Kendall, my first time was everything I wanted it to be." Logan assured him. "I was a little younger than I expected to be, but nonetheless, it was me and the person I loved expressing that love, and it will be the same whenever the next time comes."
Kendall felt his heart fluttering in his chest, and a wave of emotions come over him. "I..." He knew that the words he instinctively wanted to say wouldn't be appropriate, so he stopped himself. Instead he focused on the words the genius just said. "So, you and James never..." He trailed off, not sure how to word it.
"Had sex?" Logan smirked, brow quirking teasingly. Kendall felt heat rushing to his cheeks as he nodded almost shyly. "No, we didn't...not that he didn't want to." Logan smirked wider at the narrowed eyes of the blond. "I could never bring myself to do it." He finished.
Kendall nodded again. "Well...good luck with James."
"Thanks." Logan chuckled at the tall boy's awkwardness.
"Guys!" Carlos suddenly appeared at the door. "What are you doing stand out here?"
"We were just talking, Carlos." Kendall smiled at his short friend.
The Latino rolled his eyes. "Hurry up! We can play teams and kick James' butt! Logan," The pale boy's eyes widened slightly at the acknowledgment. "you're on my team. Come on!" Carlos reached out, grabbing the shocked boy's arm and pulling him inside, Kendall following behind them.
Several rounds and a string of obscenities later, Carlos and Logan were declared the Winners and Ultimate Champions of Champions. James and Kendall begrudgingly put their controllers aside and agreed to treat the two to a pizza—and corndogs for Carlos. The two shorter members of the group found a table to sit while they waited. "This has been fun." Carlos grinned at the brunet.
"Yeah, it finally feels like normal." Logan sighed thankfully. "James and Kendall are getting along, and you're even talking to me again."
"What?" The tan boy's head tilted in confusion.
"Oh," Logan blushed, feeling a little ridiculous. "It's probably nothing, but it kind of felt like you were avoiding me for a while."
Carlos' head hung slightly. "Because I was." He admitted with a twinge of regret. "I couldn't figure it out, and I still can't, but I just couldn't be around you and James." He huffed in frustration. "I thought when Kendall came back that you two would hang out again, I could be with James-"
Realization dawned on the brunet. "Carlos..." He almost laughed because it was so obvious and he couldn't believe it took him this long to get it. "You're in love with James?"
The short boy stopped his tangent, looking at Logan with a shocked expression. "I'm...what?"
"You are in love with James, right?"
"No!" Carlos paused, taking a moment to think, then his eyes widened almost comically. "Oh my god, I'm in love with James." He gaped and Logan had to keep himself from laughing. "It makes so much sense now!"
"Yeah, and James is single now. You can make your move." Logan smiled.
Carlos' eyes were wide with excitement. "Really?" He could hardly stay in his seat, but then realized what was happening. "Oh, I mean...if you're..."
"Go, Carlos!" The genius laughed. "I don't mind. Really."
Carlos was grinning again, then stood up, running to where James and Kendall were coming from, yelling, "James, guess what!" as he pulled the pretty boy off his path to the table.
Kendall was confused but amused as he walked over to where sat. "What was that about?" He chuckled.
"Carlos got James back." He grinned widely as the two of them watched Carlos pull James into a kiss.
Kendall smiled as well. "Good for them. Maybe they'll-" Kendall didn't get to finish. As he turned to face Logan, the genius grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss. It started slow but quickly fell into the same rhythm that they knew so well.
When Logan pulled back they were both slightly breathless, but the brunet was smirking. "Sorry, I interrupted you. What were you saying?"
Kendall paused, having forgotten what he was saying as well, so he just shrugged. "Nothing important. Just...I missed you. I missed...us."
Logan's smile widened, leaning forward to capture the other boy's lips in another kiss. "I missed us, too."
