Disclaimer: I don't own the NEWSIES!!! snaps fingers Darn it...and I certainly don't own Snoddy's vocabulary or his use of it...that sorta just happened.

The Little Rainbow Book

By: Snoddy

Assignment 1: Feel Free to Write About Self

Minutes in Which to Conclude the Assignment: 15 minutes

I fear, Mrs. Green, that you insult my aptitude in your class. Fifteen minutes is far too long a time to be allotted when ten minutes would be an efficient period in which to write about myself. I am quite capable of recording an entire autobiography for myself in the time which you have provided, though I will not do so for it is in my knowledge that you would not approve of such a lengthy entry.

I wish for it to be distinguished in this very notebook that I, Alfred Hockerknotts (I request that you cease your persistent and most infuriating way of calling me 'Mr.Hockeynuts'. My name is Snoddy, as I have reminded you habitually. At least you have never sunk so low as to call me Alfred), am not an idiot. I, Snoddy Hockerknotts, am originally from the fine country of Denmark where English is not the prime language and I, Snoddy Hockerknotts, wanted to be confident that I was well-versed in the grammar and elocution of the language before I, Snoddy Hockerknotts began to speak it in great lengths. But this does not mean I am in possession of a subordinate acumen. As it is, it has been rumored throughout my career as a scholar in this country that my mentality level does not reach that of the other students. I, Snoddy HockerKNOTTS, must protest. Where I, SNODDY Hockerknotts, was once ignorant of the pronunciation of certain words in English, I, Snoddy HOCKERknotts, am now proficient above and beyond the average American student and teacher. The survey includes you also, Mrs. Green. Also, my vocabulary is exemplary compared to that of my classmates. From my quite beneficial vantage point, I, SNODDY HOCKERKNOTTS, can see many of my associates in edification's composition books...

Upon the inconspicuous viewing of some of my less intelligible classmates' notebooks, I believe it is in order to tell you that I am of a higher intellect than they. I am also under the conviction that you are of the opinion I am nothing but 'the weirdo kid that sits in the corner and stares at me all class period'. Yes, Mrs. Green, I overheard your discourse with the guidance counselor. I hear many things. In light of that conversation, I have decided that you must not think very highly of me since you force me to compose in this notebook that defies the logic of the color-wheel. It is an insult to me. My mother bought it for my younger sister but my callous sibling refused to use it. Thus it was passed on to me since I was in need of a space in which to write. When I inquired as to if you were in possesion of another notebook I could substitute it for, you replied, "But that one's just fine, Mr.Hockeynuts." It is not "just fine"! And let's not even attempt to discuss my surname again. Everyone else has an adequate, plain colored book. With the exception of Skittery...I do not think that pink is a suitable color for him. Maybe he should switch with Mush since Mush has obtained a black notebook. I am in no way implying that Mush is a homosexual. No, Mush is the least-curviest fellow I know. It is simply that Skittery is the bleak, dark one out of our class; therefore he should be in possesion of the black journal. Racetrack has a white one...now it's not. One Spot Conlon, I have noticed, has a plain black-and-white composition book...that he's currently coloring on with red marker! Order him to desist by using your higher power in the ranks of the educational system, Mrs. Green! NOW!

Ah, that is better. As you might possibly be able to understand (even with your limited empathy), I want it. You could exchange our notebooks, granting me with his conventional composition book and he can be awarded with mine. You have the dictatorship of this classroom so that act is within your restricted authority. The bright tones of the cover may clash with his dark demeanor but I believe the colorful artistry complements his less-than-satisfactory language quite well. I believe I'll query to that...

Do stop glaring at me in such a hateful manner, Mrs. Green! I am too much of an exquisite example of human superiority to be looked at by one of your proportions! All I said was that you were biased towards me and that was an understatement of your true position. And you called my MR.HOCKEYNUTS! I hope that you feel supreme torture as you wallow in your miserly state of inadequacy, MRS. GREEN! Your classroom discussions could be likened to the children's reading sessions in the lowest instructive establishment in America. And your physical manifestation is atrocious in its dress and care. Your hairstyle is like a porcupine's posterior, if I could be so bold! And I will be so bold, Mrs. Green. I can be a very bold person, in a certain respect. I'm going to be bold enough to refuse to write anymore!

SO THERE!

A/N: giggles That was fun! I hope nobody minds that Snoddy's so weird in this fic...or that he's from Denmark! He doesn't speak a whole lot coughcoughatallcoughcough in the movie so I just decided to make him far out intelligent! And from Denmark...shrugs It's all I could think of! Or Russia, but he insisted his name was Hockerknotts and that doesn't sound very Russian! glares at Snoddy who is currently reading over her shoulder BUZZ OFF! Please review and read all of the other "The Little (color) Book" stories! They're all great!!!