Title: Perception
Author: Jo. R
Rating: PG
Pairing: Abby/Gibbs
Spoilers: Twilight, Hiatus, Twisted Sister Judgement Day, Caged.
Prompt: Fragile
Summary: Gibbs observes Abby.
*****
There's something about her that drives him to protect her. An instinct he can't and won't deny.
It's not that she can't look after herself because he knows she can – and she's proved it on numerous occasions he still doesn't like to think about. She's stronger than she looks and he's sure she's taken some form of self-defence lessons even though she's never mentioned it before.
She's smart, too. One of the smartest people he knows and he isn't too proud or male to admit that she's smarter than he is about a lot of things. He can count on her to do whatever he needed her to, depend on her to find the answers his job demanded he have. She was an integral part of the team, wholly irreplaceable. Sure, there were other forensic scientists he could hire but none would ever be able to compare to the enigma that is Abigail Sciuto.
He watches her from a safe distance, observing her without her knowledge.
She dances as she works; her movements fluid and perfectly in sync with the sound she calls music that bounces off the walls of her lab and threatens to do serious damage to his hearing. Her black hair is in pigtails today, two high ponytails either side of her head that move as she dances. He wonders sometimes how she gets them so even when he's seen her do them without a mirror or even a hairbrush at her disposal.
Another one of her talents, he supposes with an irrepressible smile.
Her make-up is bold and dark, striking against her pale skin. Her luminous green eyes are expertly framed, drawing his attention to them even if it isn't her intention. He doesn't think he's ever see such a vivid shade of green in someone's eyes before and although he had always been fond of the colour from his days in the marines, it was never his favourite colour until she walked into his life.
Her lips are painted a dark red today, putting an emphasis on the fullness of them, of the way they look so soft and all too kissable. Those lips feature in most of his fantasies but he'll never tell her that, not even if doing so would result in the delighted smile he loves to see on her face.
She talks to herself, too, the southern drawl in her voice sneaking in as she murmurs to her equipment, praising them for a job well done or encouraging them to go faster and get the results he needs before he arrives.
He watches her stretch, a thin strip of pale skin visible as her t-shirt pulls away from the snug-fitting pants she's wearing. He can see a glimpse of the tattoo etched into the skin on the small of her back and puts his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching out and touching it, wondering how it would feel beneath his fingertips, whether the inked skin would be raised or textured or be as silky smooth as the rest of her.
She is undeniably a woman of the world and not the naive child she sometimes appears to be. She's seen more than he thinks even he realises and he wonders sometimes what horrors haunt her dreams at night.
As strong as she is, as smart as she is, there is still something about her he cannot resist. An essence he is driven to protect and defend no matter what the cost. She might have seen some horrible things but her view of the world is still undaunted. Her heart is unguarded and he thinks maybe she loves too easily, too readily.
Loving him, loving his team... It's hurt her before and he worries it will hurt her again.
He watched her heart break when Kate died, felt her anguish as keenly as his own. He'd cursed himself in the weeks after Kate's death, blaming himself for the fact she'd died in the first place as well as shouldering responsibility for the loss his teammates and friends – and himself – had to learn to live with.
He himself had broken her heart when he left for Mexico, a futile escape at escaping from the pain of his past. Gibbs still remembered the look on her face, the tears making her green eyes all the brighter. Not a day went by in Mexico that he didn't think of her, remember the pain so openly displayed in her expression. Not a day went by when he didn't consider picking up the phone to see how she was but he kept himself from doing so, telling himself to give her false hope of a continued presence in her life was crueller than making what he'd thought at the time to be a clean albeit agonizing break.
And then there was Jenny's death, which had added to the weight on her shoulders. He'd been surprised at how keenly she'd felt the loss of the Director and it was then he started to worry that she felt things too much, that she was far more sensitive than she wanted any of them to believe and that beneath the facade she presented to the outside world, Abby was a lot more fragile than even she wanted to acknowledge.
The reassignment of his team had tested them both. He watched her pine for her friends and colleagues; he did his best to keep her busy, to keep them both busy so they wouldn't have so much time to dwell on their absences. It hadn't worked as well as he'd hoped but thankfully the team had been reunited before he'd had to deal with Abby's reaction to the reassignment being permanent.
He'd come down to the lab to check on her, concerned that her car had been in its usual place in the parking lot of the Navy Yard when he'd arrived in the morning. He knew she'd been having trouble sleeping – she'd admitted it to Tony and Ziva when McGee had been held hostage in the prison, confiding that her worries about the team's safety was keeping her awake at night.
She doesn't look tired but then Abby rarely does; he spied a Caf-Pow already sitting on the work bench in the middle of the lab and wondered where she'd managed to find one so early in the morning. She continues dancing as the songs change – or at least he thinks they did, he can't really tell when one song ended and another began as they all sound the same to him.
Her energy must come from the caffeine in her system – and from the sugar from the open bag of candy he can just see sticking out from underneath her keyboard.
Gibbs moves forward with a sigh, breaking his silence, watching her as she realises she isn't as alone as she thinks. Shock then genuine pleasure breaks out across her face.
"Good morning, my silver-haired fox." Her smile is overly bright and he wonders if she thinks he'll really be convinced by it. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company at..." She pauses to check the time, an eyebrow quirked. "Seven-thirty? I figured I had at least another half-hour before you came for the results."
"I'm not here for the results, Abby." He moves closer, ignoring the questioning expression on her face. His hand reaches out, almost of its own accord, to touch her cheek, finger trailing down to her chin to tip her face up to his. "How much sleep did you get last night, Abs? Did you even go home?"
The guilty look she casts over his shoulder towards her office and the futon he knows is stashed there answers the question for him but she still attempts to make her excuses. "I wanted to get this done for you coming in this morning. I figured it was important and if you can wrap up the case today, McGee can get the time off he wants to go see Sarah and you guys can have a lazy afternoon because I know you've all been working too hard and everyone needs a break now and then or they'll go crazy and..."
His finger touches her lips for a lingering moment, silencing her ramblings. He gazes at her, studies every inch of her face. The shadows she's tried hiding with make-up, the redness around her eyes, the tears she won't let fall though part of him wishes she would while the other part wants to sigh in relief. He feels her tremble beneath the hand he moves to her shoulder, sees exhaustion cling heavily to every limb...
The computer beeps, breaking the moment, demanding her attention. He lets her go with reluctance he doesn't try to hide and follows her across the room to the offending machine.
"DNA match," she tells him softly, aware of his proximity even though she doesn't take her eyes off of the screen. "We've got our killer."
He knows she expects him to leave, to go and arrest the man they now know to be responsible for the senseless murder of a marine and his friend at a bar near Quantico but he doesn't. He reaches passed her instead, inputting an extension he knows by heart into the phone's keypad after lifting the receiver.
A few moments later and he's sure Tony and Ziva are on their way to pick up the guilty party, McGee on his way to meet his soon-to-graduate sister for a late breakfast. He's given his team the rest of the day off to do whatever they want to and he can sense the surprise rolling off her in waves.
Still reaching passed her but keeping her in place with his body, Gibbs turns off the computer, ignoring her slight squeal of objection and lets his hand rest on her waist, using it to turn her to face him.
"We're taking the day off," he tells her, using the same tone of voice he uses to give orders to his team. "We're going to your apartment and you're going to pack enough clothes for a few days, then you're coming back to mine for a few days till we get your sleeping patterns back on track."
"You planning on making me work on the boat till I'm exhausted or do I just have to watch you till I fall asleep?" There's a smile on her face but behind it, he can see the hope and the weariness she's desperately trying to hide from him.
"If that's what it takes." He moves back to let her walk away from the computer but follows as if he thinks she's going to try and escape him.
They walk out of the lab five minutes later in silence and Gibbs once again takes the opportunity to study her as they wait for the elevator to arrive. She's too pale for his liking – even by her standards – and she's lost weight.
He'll take her home and take care of her, and he'll do his best to protect her.
Even from himself.
*****
End.