Praemonitus, Praemunitus

Praemonitus, Praemunitus

Dedicated to the incredible Protowilson, whose art cannot be surpassed.

It was late October and Severus Snape was not dead. "Praemonitus, praemunitus" he murmured to himself as he walked through the cold autumn night away from the lingering tour group. The night of Halloween always brought the largest contingent. He moved quickly to lose himself from sight. It was not uncommon for a member of the group to try and follow him to talk or flirt or expound ad nauseam. He shook his head in wry disbelief. The most reclusive and secretive wizard had become an entertainer of tourists. His mind drifted back and he walked on in a fog of remembrance. Yes, forewarned had been forearmed. When Dumbledore had told him he was expected to become a murderer he responded with sarcasm. When he knew that Dumbledore expected him to be complicit in Harry Potter's death, he realized that his service to the Headmaster had been taken for granted. His own goal of saving Lily's son was unimportant and all of their deaths seemed an acceptable price to Albus Dumbledore.

It should have weighted him down like a stone. He had felt nothing for quite some time. His life had been one long endeavor to become more than a knight on Dumbledore's chess board. There he had failed. That painful realization had led to another. He began to understand that the only people he owed anything to, were Lily and her son. Snape had failed her more than once. He refused to accept that he should do so again. He had expected Voldemort to use Nagini against him and he had been prepared.

Snape narrowed his eyes as his footsteps echoed in his ears. His thoughts retreated firmly into the past as he made his way towards home. He had killed Albus and knew, in that moment, that the magical world was lost to him forever. When Voldemort fell, Snape knew he would become a pariah. He had tried to shield the children of Hogwarts from the insanity of the Carrows. He had led Harry to the sword of Gryffindor with a Patronus making its last appearance as Severus Snape's best memory.

After Harry and Ron had secured the sword, Snape had chosen to plan for a future. He had prepared himself with antivenin and a new formulation of Dittany. He sought ways to make it possible to discharge his duties and survive the downfall of Voldemort. He secreted his Muggle birth papers and money in a canvas bag along with Muggle clothes and a train ticket. As the mist of the Thames drifted up, he crossed the Millennium Bridge. His lips drew up into a smirk that had been known to terrify students and tourists alike. A train ticket was prosaic for a wizard who could fly, but upon the death of Voldemort, Severus had meant to eschew magic; to forsake it as he had been forsaken. The bag was hidden beneath the bed in the Shrieking Shack. In a rendezvous with the inevitable, Severus had accepted the pain of Nagini's bite and given his memories to Harry as he had been asked to do.

Harry had accepted his memories and run from the Shrieking Shack, trailing a stricken Hermione Granger behind him. In the last moment left to him, Snape had reached up with the tip of his tongue and burst a blister attached to the ridge behind his front teeth. He pushed hard. A concentrated antivenin mixed with Dittany burst out and trickled down his throat, stopping the fire of the poison and the flow of his life's blood. With the application of a few more well thought out spells and potions, he had been in remarkably good condition for a man who was "dead". He stood in the middle of a congealing pool of his own blood and cleansed his garments. Moving to the bed and pulling out the canvas bag he hurriedly changed into the Muggle clothes and crumpled his robes into the bag without thinking.

Severus had followed Harry into the woods and seen Lily and James, Lupin, Tonks and Black walk with the boy toward his fate. He had been one more of the visiting dead that day. Just as he would have stepped from his hiding place to help Harry, Lily engaged him with her gaze. Her beautiful voice had caressed his thoughts.

"Severus, don't. He will be all right. I know how much you have done. Stay and watch him triumph. You deserve to live free of the past."

Snape watched in horror from his hiding place as Harry fell. His heart sank and then skipped a beat when Harry Potter stirred. The boy who lived had become, before his disbelieving eyes, the boy who lived again. With rage in his heart he realized that Dumbledore had sent him to his own death believing that Harry would die. Snape lost any spark of affection he had held for Dumbledore in that moment. As he turned to go he raised his hand in salute to Lily. She smiled at him and at long last, Severus had willingly given up the hopeless love and humiliation associated with her. He had paid in blood and pain for the expiation of his sins and release from his guilt. He slid his wand into his bag, slung it over his shoulder and turned his back on the wizarding world forever.

With a stroke of complete good fortune, fate had guided a recently healthy and free Severus Snape to take lunch at a small bistro on his first afternoon in London. He was sitting next to a talkative fellow looking for just the right man to lead tours of "haunted" London. James Heldon was a round, chubby man with straw yellow hair and perfect, pearl like teeth. His smile was genuine and came easily to his face. Heldon found exactly what he had been looking for sitting next to him, eating chicken Vindaloo. It seemed to Heldon that the man had stepped out of the pages of a gothic novel. As he ate he sat, taking in the other man's black hair, black eyes, black jumper and black scowl; he was too good to be true. This man would be perfect for the kinds of people who wanted to commune with the departed. Heldon shrugged his round shoulders, I really hope he needs a job. It would be sweet to tell that tosser Ollie that I replaced him without trying.

Heldon opened conversation by talking at Snape about his recent woes with an employee. "I am the proprietor of a tourist business" he said, tearing some Nan bread in two. " My most successful tour guide was loved by the patrons and a complete pain in the arse to me" he gesticulated at himself with a piece of bread. "Oliver Tate's name has always appeared in capital letters inside his own head. He gave me very short notice last night."

Snape ate silently, but snorted softly in amusement. When he finished chewing a mouthful of chicken he finally said, "Sounds like a man I once knew. Are you sure he isn't from the house of Black?"

Heldon tipped his head and said, "Sorry?"

Snape laughed and replied "No matter." Snape extended his long hand and with a small smile introduced himself.

Heldon greeted his effort with a large grin and introduced himself to Snape in return. Suddenly, Heldon was talking with Snape and not at him.

James Heldon went on to spin the tale of how Oliver had sworn and stomped about and finally shouted that he was "tired of the stupid pillocks that cannot shut it while I'm talking. I did not study acting for this!" Heldon confided to Snape that Ollie had quit a few times and had finally worn out his welcome. He rolled his eyes "We are coming right into the height of tourist season with long evening hours and he just quits. He thinks he's the next Gary Oldman for Christ's sake."

Snape tipped his head quizzically. "I'm sorry?"

"No matter" grinned Severus' future employer.

When Heldon had finally described what he had in mind as an employment opportunity and the tips that wealthy Americans were likely to give, lunch hour was long past and they had drunk their way through several pots of tea. Heldon was also pleasantly surprised to see "Mr. Mood" grace him with the most charming smile.

Snape explained that he needed a job, having recently arrived from the north. He felt he could exploit the "dramatic" nature of the tours. Patting the lumpy bag sitting next to him he said "I've robes in here that would make a suitable costume. They flow and billow behind me." He paused for a moment and then looked at James, "Well, I've used them in another capacity and they were always impressive."

Heldon was pleased with Snape's willingness to dress the part, "Do you think you can hold the attention of a small group for two hours as we've a script of sorts." He flashed his small pearly teeth in an anxious grin.

James had heard a suggestion of power in Snape's voice previously, but he had been doing most of the talking. Now he was shocked as Snape threw back his head and laughed. All of the people in the restaurant stopped to look at the man who was the source of this infectious, raucous laughter. It was as if all of the patrons were attending a one-act play. They sat with forks suspended while Severus Snape laughed. He covered his upturned mouth. After a moment he lowered his hand and his face at the same time. When he looked again at Heldon, his eyes were cool and his mouth unsmiling.

"I have a great deal of experience in commanding attention and obedience from those inclined to neither."

At that moment James Heldon knew he would receive two kinds of telephone calls about his new employee. Group A would be comprised of "paying customers" wanting to "get that imperious bastard fired!" Group B would want Snape's telephone number "to continue a discussion" or "return his umbrella" or some other transparent excuse. Heldon nearly rubbed his hands together in glee. Drama was good for business and this fellow was sure to cause plenty of drama of the right sort. He would intrigue the patrons and seemed unlikely to engage in the usual histrionics of past employees.

Heldon invited Snape to accompany him to the offices of Twilight Tours, Inc. As they bustled through the entrance a woman looked up in surprise. Heldon said, "Heather, you won't believe it! I've found just the right man to replace Oliver."

Heather was Mrs. Heldon. She was as dark as he was fair. Snape thought she looked like she could be related to the Patil twins. Severus took her hand and nodded his head respectfully. "I'm very pleased to meet you, Mrs. Heldon. James has told me of the position. I am confident that I can lend the correct ambience for the tours."

She stood holding his hand and turned to her husband. "God, James. He's brilliant! You're brilliant!" Releasing Snape's hand she turned and scooped up a list from the desk. "Can you start tomorrow evening? We have a full group scheduled."

Snape was able to present his Muggle documents for employment. No forgery or magic were necessary. Severus had to mention that he had just arrived and needed to find at least temporary lodging. Heldon directed him to Julia Baxter. She was a friend of Heather's.

When they arrived at Ms. Baxter's home, Severus was introduced as the new "Haunted" tour guide and Julia showed them a pair of rooms for rent at the top of her stairs. The rooms were furnished and suited his needs. The furniture was old but sound. The space would be filled with light during the day and there was no fireplace. He did not ever want any surprise visitors. Julia was willing to wait on the rent until he had been paid twice because of her long friendship with Heather. If she thought it strange that he had nothing other than a canvas bag she did not remark upon it.

As Heldon left Snape in his rooms he remarked, "Julia has been lonely since she moved to London. She has depended on Heather a great deal. I'm very happy that the two of you might be able to keep each other company. Julia is very intelligent and a good cook as well… and I might finally get my wife back for a night or two." Looking over his shoulder as he descended the stairs he winked up at Severus and grinned.

Snape found he liked leading guided tours of London's Most Haunted Places! He did not care for the women that seemed to want to follow him home after nearly every tour. He did not easily trust strangers. In fact, it took him quite some time to really believe that they were vying for his attention and not following him for some nefarious reason. Julia had laughed loud and long when he had expressed that he felt these women were up to no good.

"They're up to no good all right," she had finally managed to say when she regained her breath from laughing. How can such a striking man be so completely unaware of his power?

The continuing attention of women who were either too young or too brash kept him off balance and made it easier to be surly and haughty and slightly menacing. Some of the hopeful ghost hunters were so disappointed not to have seen an actual ghost and it appealed to his sense of irony that they were usually standing right next to someone many considered to be dead for the course of their two-hour tour. Some days he was hard-pressed to be sufficiently dour. His former students would have been surprised to learn that Snape needed inspiration to be surly.

The truth of the matter was that Voldemort's death and Snape's subsequent exit from the wizarding world had made him a very happy man. James and Heather Heldon had become friends. His temporary lodgings had become a place he wanted to stay for a good long time. The rooms were beautiful, and there was Julia. Julia Baxter was, indeed, very intelligent and unique. She too, had become a friend. As Snape neared his rooms he covered the ground in long, hungry, healthy strides.

His mind turned to Julia during the last few blocks of his walk home.

She had been quiet and kind. She always "just happened" to have more food than she needed for supper. She never pressed, but never failed to offer quiet company. Julia had the most uproarious laughter. It was easy to make her laugh with "Tales from the Tour." They often read together after supper. They had been talking about the approach of Samhain. Her parents were of Irish descent and she knew and marked the holiday. She had selected several large turnips for carving. He smiled and remembered listening to her explanation that there had been a time when pumpkins were not available. Carving turnips instead of pumpkins was a prime example of what made Julia Baxter interesting

As Snape walked the final block, his traditional cloak was flowing behind him. It was a part of his "costume" and absolutely bowled over the tour groups. He mused that the person he had been was encapsulated in a role, an interpretation of someone he had known intimately. As he neared home his steps quickened He felt his pay packet in his pocket, or what was left of it this week. He had purchased a lovely amber ankle bracelet for Julia. She was not a flamboyant woman, but she knew she had a well turned ankle and sensibly drew attention to it.

He began reviewing his reasons for contentedness and his plans for tonight. With a longer stride and a jump over a lingering puddle he began to enumerate with each step. Not dead, not a wizard, not hunted, not a slave to past sins, not the protector of Harry Potter, not reviled, not poor.

He stopped briefly and said aloud "Not alone." He did not want for affection. That particular thought put a stop to his litany of blessings and brought a prim smile of accomplishment to his face. He had succeeded in making a new life and he had high hopes for what this evening would bring.

Julia fancied him, he was certain. She had waited patiently until he was ready to return the favor. He mused that tonight would be the night when he took her up on her oft-spoken yet beguiling offer of "something sweet" after supper. She always made dessert, but he had never accepted her invitation. He had always declined politely and made his way to his rooms, leaving her to enjoy her dessert alone.

"Mmmm, something sweet indeed."

It was the night of Samhain and Severus Snape was about to fully return to the land of the living. He was certain she wanted his attentions, but uncertain about exactly how to give her what they both wanted. His inexperience loomed large in his mind. His imagination nearly ran away with him when he considered how he would wrap the fiery beauty of amber around Julia's slim white ankle. His thoughts raced ahead to touching her skin, savoring her cooking and tasting her mouth with the lingering flavor of dessert on his tongue. The wind blew him through the door in a swirl of robes, black hair and charged expectation.

Severus removed his robes and hung them next to the door on a peg. He left his boots just underneath his robes. The house smelled of sage and pork roast. He scented the air and was disappointed by the absence of vanilla or cinnamon. His heart faltered a little. Had she tired of offering him something sweet? As he turned to the sitting room, the radio was on. He was not aware of the music and probably could not have identified it even so. He smoothed his hair and looked down at himself and then back to the wall near the door. There his robes and boots rested, the cast off persona of a performer. He turned and walked in his stocking feet as he called out, "Julia?"

"I'm in the kitchen Severus. Just bringing out the roast." In her best Bela Lugosi accent she playfully sang, "Follow the sound of my voice."

He walked into the kitchen to see the table set with two large turnips as a centerpiece. Their lively, carved faces were lit from within by a bit of candlelight.

Julia stood at the counter setting down a roast surrounded by potatoes and carrots. She wore a light sweater over a flowing skirt that nipped her waist and ended just below her knees. Her legs and feet were bare with a thin silver chain around her left ankle. His eyes lingered on her bare legs and feet and then drifted up to her round bottom.

His head came up just as she turned and asked, "Did you get away cleanly without any admirers hanging on your coat today?"

Severus leaned against the edge of the counter and crossed his arms over his black jumper and one sock-clad ankle over the other. "Yes, thank all hallowed spirits. I practically ran. That might have helped a bit."

He reached up and brushed his hair behind his ear as he peered at Julia. "Your feet have to be freezing."

She smiled as she tossed her hair over one shoulder. "You know better than that. It's the Irish in me. It isn't too cold to go barefoot until winter. Bring that to the table, will you? I've opened the wine already."

Severus and Julia proceeded to sit down to supper as they had many nights before. Julia looked at him and saw that he seemed to be nervous. She had seen him shutter himself away. She had seen him angry, amused, intrigued, bored, surprised or confused. She didn't ever recall seeing him seem shy or nervous. It gave her hope that tonight he might finally be ready to begin what had already grown to completion in her. Julia Baxter was not impulsive or naïve. She had fallen in love with this quiet man who arrived on her doorstep with one canvas bag and a gaping hole in his past. She could not explain it and had long since given up trying to fight it.

After eating supper and drinking most of a bottle of excellent wine, they were both a little looser.

Julia reached out and softly touched the scar on his neck. "Severus, please tell me about this. What happened?"

He stiffened and pulled away a little and Julia feared she had asked what he would not answer.

His voice began low but gained confidence. "Julia, for a long time I was a master of secrets. I made mistakes and fell in with a rough crowd. I found a way to help bring an end to them, but it involved never showing what I felt or who I was for a long time." He raised his hand to touch the scar on his neck, "This is the price I paid to finally be free of it all."

She leaned forward and caressed his hair. He pressed his head into her touch and closed his eyes. "They were truly bad people Julia. The only way to escape was to make them think me dead. Because of this injury they believe that I am." Taking a deep breath he said, "I'm sorry. I can tell you no more, but I can assure you that it is over."

With that, Julia whispered, "That's all I need to know."

After a pause Snape poured the last of the wine and asked with a raised brow, "Did you make dessert?"

She reached out and cupped his cheek. "Of course I have. I 'm trying to give you a sweet tooth every bit as desperate as mine." Julia blushed at the revealing choice of the word desperate. She pushed her chair back to stand and Severus stopped her.

"Please, sit. Tell me where it is and I'll get it. You have worked hard enough this evening."

She gestured to the refrigerator and Severus stood to open the door. Two small, footed glass bowls of Chocolate Mousse were on the top shelf. He brought them to the table and set down one dish in front of Julia and one at his place. He said, "Close your eyes. I have a surprise for you."

While her eyes were closed he took the amber ankle bracelet and fastened it around the foot of the glass dish in front of her. "Open your eyes and see if you can find the surprise."

Julia opened her eyes and he watched her search the table with her eyes. At first she missed the gleam of amber, but soon enough she caught her breath when she saw the anklet.

Severus smiled and said "Please let me put it around your ankle. It would look so much better there."

She tried to pick up the amber and take it straight up over the bowl of chocolate and wound up with mousse on her fingertips. Severus grasped her hand and brought her fingers to his mouth for his first taste of a dessert that had been on offer for so long. The chocolate was rich and his mouth was so warm. He thoroughly cleaned her fingers of chocolate and reached down to pick up her foot.

Severus slid his hand behind her knee and felt the warm smooth skin there. He lifted her leg gently, sliding his hand from her knee, down to her ankle, trailing his fingers lightly. When he reached her ankle he grasped it in his hand firmly and placed her foot in his lap. With her foot nestled in his lap, he spun the small silver chain that was already there until the clasp showed. The small touches of his fingertips while he removed the silver created shivers in Julia. Then she felt the weight of the amber beads fastened around her ankle. She took in a long shuddering breath and he looked up from caressing her foot to see her lips parted and her eyes dilated.

Julia laughed shakily and said, "You are the most surprising man Severus. I have held onto your cloak a moment too long to feel your warmth. It was as close as I could get to touching you. Tonight you've come home, allowed me to ask about your past, presented me with a gift, suckled my fingers and nearly given me an orgasm by stroking my foot and you still have not kissed me."

Snape smiled his small secret smile while his eyes lit from within, almost like the tiny jack o'lanterns. He picked up a spoon and took a large bite of chocolate. "Do you want to finish your dessert?"

She sat up sharply and withdrew her foot from his lap. "NO! You infuriating man!" She reached across the table and sank her hands into his hair and pressed her lips over his for the first time.

Severus finished the kiss with such intensity and utter concentration that Julia's breath was taken away. She had meant to show him she wasn't playing and had discovered his utter sincerity.

He leaned over and blew out the candles in the tiny carved heads. He took her hand and said, "I have dreamed of you over and over again in my bed at the top of the stairs. Come with me and make my dreams real."

She rose and they walked to the stairs. At the foot of the steps he held her head in his hands and took another kiss. Then Severus turned her toward the stairs. "Walk up ahead of me, the stairs are too narrow for the both of us."

She smiled and swayed her hips from side to side as she mounted the steps. He watched her sway and the flash of amber upon her ankle each time she planted her foot on a step.

At last he said "Julia, I feel I must warn you that I have a nearly unquenchable sweet tooth."

She laughed as she reached the top of the stairs. "How sweet of you to warn me, love. I think I'm prepared. Forewarned is forearmed. "

~Fin~