"You two would make such a cute couple."

I wasn't sure what to say, and instead set our course for Illium, a day's trek from Omega. I hadn't really thought of that possibility. Not really. There isn't much time for thought when you're dead.

Once Joker disembarked from Omega, I decided to do my rounds. I entered the cockpit first.

"What are your thoughts on the new crew?" I asked.

"Glad to see Garrus took that stick out of his butt, but now he's beating people to death with it. Never thought I'd like the old Garrus better."

I smirked. "Don't let him hear that."

"Yeah, wouldn't want his ass-stick aimed at me."

"Officer Vakarian seems to be absorbed in the main battery, Commander," EDI announced. Not surprising. I supposed working on the ship's weapons systems were more to his liking than maintenance on the damned Mako. But absorbed… something wasn't right.

"Wait, you can see what he's doing?" Joker asked. "I thought your visuals were only on the cockpit."

"No. I am visually aware of all areas of the ship. And you should be ashamed of yourself, Mr. Moreau."

Joker visibly shrank in his chair.

The two would get along. Eventually. "I'll check on him. Try to keep your visuals our of crew quarters from now on, EDI."

"Understood, Commander. I have limited my visuals to active areas of the ship. Your quarters and the crew's have been offlined."

I distinctly heard a mutter of, "Too little, too late," from the helmsman. I chuckled and left them alone again. I took the elevator down a floor, tapping my foot impatiently at the speed. You would figure they would have at least upgraded the damned elevators. I stepped off and headed for the main battery, waving in passing to Rupert.

"Hey Rupert, you put in more food this time and less ass."

I snorted as he shook off the teasing. I stood in front of the doors as they opened, revealing the broad barrel of his back. Just as EDI said, he was so poured over his work he didn't even notice my entrance. "Hey."

He visibly startled and turned around. "Shepard. Spirits, I was just operated on. Let my heart calm down for more than a few hours."

I grinned as he let out a heavy chuckle. "Where's the fun in that?" I crossed my arms and nodded to the terminal. "Have any upgrades for the Normandy I should know about?"

"I have a general idea. I'll need to see if the ship could hold them."

"What is it?"

"Turian-grade cannons. The Thanix series. They were made available just a few weeks ago. But I've been tracking its progress over the months it's been in development."

"In that case, wouldn't you have figured out the specifications by now? EDI said you've been at this since I checked up on you after your face blew up."

He gave his heavy chuckle again, and my smirk faltered. I hadn't noticed the subtle growl to it before. "Spying on me now, Shepard? I thought you'd trust me more than those Cerberus clowns."

"I do." I sat on the crates to the right of his terminal. "Look around. Who else is here from our mission?"

"Besides Karin and Joker?" He hummed in amusement. My arms prickled in response. "I see your point. What else was I going to do? Stay trapped and fighting, or trust you?" His own arms crossed. "You did more for me in that short time than anyone had my whole life. You didn't give a damn how I did my job, our job. The only thing that mattered was it was done. You let me have the satisfaction of killing the doctor. You're supporting my wishes to kill Sidonis." He leaned against the terminal, my eyes darting to his narrow hips. I was suddenly fascinated by the shape of his armor. My eyes flicked back to his just as quickly as they left. "You've trusted me to do what I had and have to. I trust you will do the same. It's an honor to fight with you, regardless."

He was the only one so far willing to not question me, one willing to follow me to our possible deaths. I let out a soft laugh. "I couldn't let your sorry ass be killed by some lame merc. I needed your skills to save my own sorry ass."

I could see his grin show through his eyes. "I've had your six from the start."

"You just like seeing my ass, don't you?"

"Not like it's my fault if it happens to come into view of my scope every once in a while."

This time, my gut was the one to prick. The growl was back, the source coming from his subharmonics. I had been so used to talking to him two years ago, so comfortable around him, I never noticed… "I thought I felt a round or two hit there as I shot a merc."

"You make an easy target." He held out a hand to help me off the crates. I took it, feeling a sharp shock flash for a nanosecond. Once I stood, he tilted his head, reminding me more of a bird than anything. "The scars are new. I can only recall one from two years ago. And those didn't glow." His eyes narrowed and his voice went quiet. "Your eyes too. What did they do to you?"

I tried to smile, only able to give half of one. "Gave me another chance to stop our extinction." I touched the left side of my scars. "Cybernetics. Jacob said I wasn't much more than—More than…" My stomach gave a small lurch. Anxiety quickly followed it. "My temper aggravates them. Makes them worse. My eyes as well. Each time I return from a mission, they lose their color. Karin thinks if I do more good deeds they'll go away but fat chance of that." I stepped away, feeling the anxiety rear higher.

"We both know that won't happen."

"I've been getting better at it."

He gave a lighter laugh than before, as if some weight had been taken from him. "Shepard, don't beat yourself up over your choices. You may have stuck to your ruthless path, but you have shown a bit of heroic acts as well. They're just small and rare. All races are selfish." My nerves calmed down as something else started showing in his subharmonics. "If you give and give, they will take advantage of that. They will think of you as a tool. Someone willing to bend over backwards for a stranger. You are showing you are not only human, but you are someone who will not hesitate to do only what is deemed necessary."

He was right. There wasn't anything wrong with my choices. I did give back just as much as I mouthed off. I just tended to make more waves with mouthing off. I noticed his eyes focused on me, almost uncertain. My heart sped up, though this time not from the anxiety. I hadn't thought about that blue in a very long time… "Going sweet on your CO, Vakarian?"

He snorted, making me grin. "I thought friends complimented each other on Earth."

"We do. I'm only teasing. Something friends do there as well." I remembered Kelly's words and a laugh escaped my lips.

"Something amusing?"

"Kelly had commented that we'd make, 'such a cute couple'," I mocked, clasping my hands in a mimic of swooning.

His demeanor seemed to shift. His laugh went almost… nervous. "Yeah, right. A human Spectre and a turian renegade." He shook his head. "She means well. She thinks I'm lonely. I'm fine, so long as I have something to work on." He returned his attention to the terminal. "I should get back to these calibrations. I'm making a few algorithms to enhance the targeting systems. I'll do more research into the Thanix cannons and ping you with the specs."

All of the strange, warm pricks turned to ice. My mood fell as his voice went flat, nearly strained. "Yeah, I'll let you work."

I stepped out of the main battery, letting the door close behind me. When I looked back, the lock had turned red. Now that was a trait I knew was not him. I took the elevator to the fourth deck, slipping into Zaeed's quarters. Luckily the merc must have been upstairs in the bathroom, leaving me alone with the equipment. It was wrong, and I should have just left it alone, but… The impulsive reactions his mere words would bring made me worry. I flipped through the surveillance, falling on the main battery. He was leaned over the console, fingers not moving. His visor sat next to him on the terminal. As I was about to turn off the video, I saw his armor shake. I looked to the visor and narrowed my eyes. I leaned in, seeing engravings in the thin strip. I used the controls to zoom in. Initials had been carved in to the metal. I knew enough of the turian language to decipher that. My breath caught in my throat as I followed the script closer to his scope.

I turned off the equipment and slipped upstairs to my cabin before Zaeed could find me.

I laid in my bed, head near the end so I could gaze up into the void that had claimed me once. I had a hand to my chest, feeling my heart as it fought to decide what it was beating rapidly for.

Closest to his scope, J.S. had been carved before all the others.