This was written by me, but edited by my friends DyingLight13 and Angelo098. The universe is "Transformer: Prime" and I do not own Transformers © or any of its related characters. This is a purely humorous fic with no real point, but I enjoyed writing it. :) Anyway, enjoy the story.
It was a normal day; at least, a normal day for the Autobots and the Decepticons. Megatron and his horde of Decepticons faced Optimus and his fellow Autobots across a grassy field. Sunlight glinted off of their metallic frames and weapons, drawn and ready for battle. Birds and wildlife fled the area in a mile radius, their instincts warning them of the oncoming danger.
"Optimus," Megatron said, beginning the brief all-too familiar dialogue.
"Megatron," Optimus said.
"One shall stand," Megatron snarled.
"One shall fall," Optimus said, ending the familiar dialogue.
Megatron chose that moment to go off script. "It will be you who falls today. Starscream!" Megatron waited for a few seconds for the oncoming answer, only to hear silence. "Starscream!" he cried again, adding the emphasis of a snap. Silence. Putting the battle on pause, he turned to Knock Out. "Where is Starscream?"
"Uh…" The crimson medic turned to Breakdown, whom turned to Soundwave, whom turned to Airachnid, whom shrugged. Soundwave shrugged at Breakdown, who in turn shrugged at Knock Out. Using that as his answer, Knock Out shrugged to Megatron.
"What?" Megatron growled in frustration. The Autobots shared uncertain and slightly amused looks.
"UNICORNS!" The triumphant battle cry echoed through the crowd. All turned to see a pink tutu uniformed Starscream, whom also glittered with gold glitter, twirl out of the nearby forest to the Autobots' left and the Decepticons' right.
Starscream twirled, pranced, and hopped his way down the path created by the space between the Autobots and the Decepticons. He would occasionally throw gold glitter into the air.
Knock Out scurried across the path and stopped beside Bumblebee. "I'm joining the Autobots!"
Bumblebee looked at him and whirred, indicating he was asking why. Knock Out quickly answered. "So I don't have any ties whatsoever with…that." He gestured at Starscream as he jumped into the air and twirled, throwing glitter.
/Fine, but I'm watching you/ Bumblebee said.
Knock Out nodded. "That's understandable, totally understandable."
Starscream pranced in front of Megatron and stopped. "Ello!" he chirped happily in a very un-Starscream-like way.
"What is wrong with you, imbecile?!" Megatron snarled. "You worthless piece of rusty tin!" He waited for Starscream to drop to the ground and begin groveling like normal.
Starscream smiled funnily. "You need a better personality, Megatron. More SPARKLY!" He twirled and poured some glitter on Megatron.
Megatron couldn't even recover from his shock enough to become angry as Starscream laughed and twirled away, contemplating which Decepticon to pelt with glitter next.
Optimus wasn't actually sure what was happening, but he did know what to say. "Autobots, uh…yeah, let's just go."
Starscream smiled at him. "Aw, does little Primey feel left out? You can have some too!" He proceeded to dump some glitter on Optimus. "I have glitter for EVERYONE!" He threw some glitter on Wheeljack and Ratchet, both of them looking at Starscream with looks of pure hatred. Starscream seemed not to care at all as he continued his glitter throwing and his best imitation of 'Swan Lake'.
Optimus was looking down in shock at his now glittering frame when he heard Wheeljack snarl, "Now, this isn't manly at all! Cover me, Sunshine!"
"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Sunshine!" Ratchet bellowed.
"I think the name Sunshine is much happier than Ratchet," Starscream said. He giggled and dumped more glitter on Ratchet, whose face went from stunned to enraged in a matter of nanoseconds.
Starscream glared at Wheeljack. "And glitter is very manly, thank you very much," he snipped. He threw more glitter on Wheeljack.
"Uh-oh," Arcee said from her spot beside Optimus.
Bulkhead groaned. "I really need to stop drinking so much oil before recharge."
"You're not the only one seeing this," Optimus said to him.
"Good, because I was worried mixing oil with the Twilight series was making me think I was seeing you glitter in the sunlight like Edward Cullen," Bulkhead said with a sigh of relief.
Optimus and Arcee shared a look. Arcee's right optic twitched.
"What?" Bulkhead asked. "Miko likes Twilight."
With a bellow of outrage, Wheeljack tackled Starscream. Starscream shrieked and quickly squirmed out from under the glittering and enraged Wheeljack. He began backing up, keeping Wheeljack in his sight.
"You ripped my tutu!" he wailed when he spotted the damage done by Wheeljack.
He backed into Ratchet, whom was still angry at him, and before he even had time mutter a single word, Ratchet whacked him on the head with his trusty wrench. Starscream collapsed into a glittering, crumpled heap at his feet.
"Allow me to finish him," Wheeljack said.
"Enough!" Megatron shoved Wheeljack away from Starscream. Ratchet wisely backed away, but he kept a firm grip on his wrench. "Breakdown, pick that up," Megatron said, gesturing to Starscream.
Megatron turned to Optimus. The two glittering fri-enemies studied each other. "Until we meet again," Megatron said.
"Until we meet again," Optimus said.
"Decepticons, return to the Nemesis!" Megatron turned and transformed, shooting into the sky. The other Decepticons followed, Breakdown dragging a pink tutu-ed, glittering Starscream.
Wheeljack glared down at his glittering frame. "I hope this washes off."
Bulkhead grinned. "I think it makes you look sexy, like a vampire."
Ratchet whacked him on the head with his wrench and Bulkhead collapsed. Optimus gave his friend a questioning look. Ratchet shrugged. "Someone had to stop him from saying stupid stuff."
Back on the Nemesis, Megatron threw Starscream onto a berth in the med-bay. He still had on his pink tutu and both of them were still covered in glitter.
Megatron glared down at the unconscious Seeker. "There is something majorly wrong with your head. I'll have Knock Out take a look." Megatron waited for the medic to step up and begin his work. He didn't. "Knock Out, do I really have to directly order you?!" The awaited sarcastic reply didn't come. "Knock Out!"
Megatron whirled onto Breakdown. "Where's Knock Out?"
"Umm…" Breakdown turned to Soundwave, whom turned to Airachnid, the last occupant in the room, whom shrugged. Soundwave shrugged to Breakdown, whom in turn, shrugged to Megatron.
Megatron groaned. His groan was echoed by a groan from Starscream. Everyone turned as Starscream set up. He looked at them with a look of confusion that turned into a look of amusement when he saw that Megatron was covered in gold glitter.
"Are you…okay?" Megatron asked.
"By that, he means right in the head," Airachnid clarified.
"Absolutely," Starscream said.
Everyone sighed in relief. Starscream spotted some flowers near his berth and he grabbed them. Without missing a beat, he flung the flowers onto Megatron.
Airachnid, Breakdown, and Soundwave stared at their daisy and glitter covered leader in surprise. Megatron looked at Starscream with a look of pure anger, which was quite frightening on the gladiator. Starscream took no heed.
Starscream threw his arms in the air with a gleeful laugh. "Starscream is FABULOUS!"