A/N: I'm back again, with another item crossed off my 'half-finished short stories from forever ago' list. I was inspired by all the lovely reviews you guys left on my last oneshot (THANK YOU!) so I decided to finish this one as soon as I got a spare moment to write. I hope you guys enjoy it.
This obviously picks up during 4x02, but deviates from canon. My idea for this story came from one thought I had during the episode - what if Elena had overheard Damon? I know this chapter is short, but it needed to end where it does. I'll see you guys again soon with chapter two.
Thank you for reading! ~ Kim
Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or its characters; all rights to their respective owners.
Elena fell backwards onto the grass, watching the lanterns float into the sky. Each got smaller and smaller until they were only specks on the black canvas, glittering like the billions of stars in worlds beyond her own.
It was a perfect metaphor, really; her thin strand of mortality severed in twain and gliding away on the wind like a gossamer spider's web, detached from her human, vulnerable body. With those lanterns she released her last hopes of ever sustaining a normal life – a husband, kids and a white picket fence. Truthfully, she didn't want those things anymore; she hadn't for a long time. She'd accepted that since the days of evading Klaus before the sacrifice.
Her life with Stefan now would be relatively stable, safe. They'd live in Mystic Falls together until their lack of aging made things difficult, then they'd move on, feeding on various woodland creatures as they went. They'd hold down jobs or go to college and he'd be by her side every step of the way. Without Bonnie's gift of foresight, Elena couldn't see much farther than that.
A traitorous part of her stirred as her thoughts wandered to Damon. Damon, on the other hand, would give her a wild and unpredictable future. He'd show her the world that lay at their feet, travelling across every continent and seeing everything there was to see. He'd teach her everything there was to know about being a vampire, uncensored, unafraid of the dark, unbridled passion that so frightened Stefan. Perhaps, eventually, she would go to college and Damon would probably let her have her independence. He'd have complete trust in her ability to refrain from chewing on professors and fend off sleazy frat boys.
She stopped that train of thought before it got any further. She'd made her choice. It wasn't fair on anyone for her to be chasing thoughts of what could have been. She loved Stefan; she wanted to be with Stefan.
But a tiny, insistent part of her found that those words didn't feel quite right.
Craving some alone time and feeling too much lingering guilt to face Stefan at home, she wandered aimlessly into the woods.
"Floating lanterns in the sky," Damon mused aloud, taking another swig of his bourbon. "Can you believe that?"
A stray passerby would question his sanity but he sat alone on a cold stone bench, his eyes dark with unreleased emotion, mourning the loss of his best friend by the plaque bearing his name.
"Japanese lanterns as a symbol of letting go of the past." There was bitterness and pain beneath his cynicism. "Well, here's a newsflash: we're not Japanese."
Elena's ears pricked up at the sound of amber fluid splashing in a glass bottle. She had grown to associate that sound with Damon, to be specific, an emotional Damon. She fixated her hearing in that direction, taking full advantage of her newly acquired vampire skills as she moved stealthily closer.
"You know what they are? Children." Elena repressed a gasp, angered. She knew he was talking about her, and the others. Again she concentrated, trying to discern other voices, footsteps, something to let her know who was with him in the clearing.
"They think lighting candles is going to make everything okay, or saying a prayer, or pretending Elena's not going to end up just like the rest of us murderous vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating little children."
Elena's eyes narrowed in fury. Who was he to judge them for wanting to find something to cling onto? She was one step away from bursting into that clearing and confronting him and whomever he was talking to, be it compelled victim or god forbid, a newly-returned Katherine Pierce.
"And I know what you're going to say. 'It makes them feel better, Damon.' So what?"
Elena's anger dissipated a little at this. She heard the vulnerability in his voice, an echo of a memory that she'd only discovered she had today. This was pure, unshielded Damon, and with relief, Elena deduced he would not be baring his innermost thoughts to the first, but not last, slender brunette to break his heart.
"For how long? A minute, a day… what difference does it make?" He rose to his feet, swaying slightly, his voice rising in anger. "Because in the end, when you lose someone, every candle, every prayer isn't going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is a hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be."
It finally hit her. Alaric. The one-sided conversation she was observing suddenly became a whole lot more personal, and she shifted slightly away, fighting back sobs.
"And a rock, with a birthdate carved into it that I'm pretty sure is wrong."
He returned to his seat with a sigh, sinking down on it tiredly. Elena's vampirism and heightened emotions allowed her to feel his pain acutely; every loss, every burst of emotion he kept hidden from the world. He'd lived for so long and he'd lost many over the years. Damon pretended not to give a damn but truly he cared for people so much more deeply than Elena had understood before today.
Rose, his friend, an equal, an ally. Andie, comfort sex, a meal, an ear to vent to. Katherine, the woman who'd broken him. Elena, the woman he'd fixed himself for, but for whom he still hadn't been good enough.
And now Ric, Damon's best friend, the man who he'd hated and who'd hated him. The man who'd taught Damon the power of forgiveness, camaraderie and a mutual love of the finest scotch. The man who'd empathised, felt the betrayal of a harsh and selfish woman feigning her death for her own gain, endured the woman he loved dying as a sacrifice at the hands of a cruel, brutal vampire. Ric was the person who'd understood Damon more than anyone else could, and now he was gone.
That was the loss that had destroyed Damon the most.
"So, thanks, friend." Damon murmured, his voice full of pained sarcasm. "Thanks for leaving me here to babysit, because I should be long gone by now."
Elena knew what he meant. He'd promised to leave if Elena had chosen Stefan, but he'd stayed to help her through the transition. He cared too much to leave her like this.
"I didn't get the girl, remember?" The bitter words cut her so deeply, more than they should have. He'd believed he had a chance, he'd allowed himself to hope, and then she'd turned him down before she died, and he lost his best friend and the love of his life in one fell swoop.
"I'm just stuck here, fighting with my brother and taking care of the kids."
Elena couldn't take it anymore; the overwhelming guilt and sorrow threatened to drown her. She silently stood, backing away, ready to take off at a moment's notice.
"You owe me big." He took a final gulp of bourbon before he set the empty bottle down as a token, a tribute to his fallen friend, getting to his feet to leave, arming himself with his steely emotional distance once more. Elena allowed her gaze to rest on Alaric's grave for only a moment longer before she ran.
She ran, she ran and really let the tears fall, unchecked, unashamed, her heart-wrenching, shuddering sobs lost in the wind, gone forever, gone like the lanterns they'd sent flying up into the night sky.
A/N: Hope you liked part one! Part two picks up post-4x04, with a twist...