A/N: Thanks to Wildegreenlight for being my beta, she's a gem.

Ron woke from a restless sleep, sitting up abruptly and finding himself in his four poster. It's amazing how much more vivid his dreams had become now that his body knew what kissing actually felt like. His fingers unconsciously raised to his lips. This particular dream though, this one wasn't anything like real life. The lips he'd been kissing hadn't been tinted pink with a shiny sticky gloss that tasted faintly of bubblegum. They weren't forceful and intense. These lips had been soft and gentle and uncertain. These lips weren't attached to a beautiful blonde. These lips had spoken his name in a soft lilting, public school accent before they had slowly pressed to his. Ron slouched forward, sinking his face into his hands. Hermione. These lips had belonged to Hermione.

He'd thought that dating Lavender would help him forget about her. Forget that they were friends and nothing more. Forget that she thought of him as Harry's incompetent sidekick. Forget how much he loved her, how much he wanted to touch her, how much she meant to him. But it hadn't, it had only made the longing worse and now? Now they weren't even friends. Now she was always angry, she wouldn't even look at him. She hated him. How had he screwed things up so much? He collapsed back into his bed and bitterly yanked the pillow out from under his head, pulling it down over his face- muffling an angry grunt before mentally adding one more thing to the list of things Ron Weasley had cocked up.

Only one more day till that damn Christmas party… Ron's head turned as he heard the portrait hole open. His heart leapt as he saw Hermione walk through before he remembered they weren't speaking. When he realized his gaze had lingered longer than it should he turned impulsively to the blonde snuggled beside him- who he'd been trying to politely ignore for the past twenty minutes and locked his lips onto hers. Hopefully Hermione wouldn't notice he'd been looking at her. Lavender accepted his embrace with a happy giggle.

He could hear voices as they came closer… she was lecturing Harry. Nothing new there.

"I told you Harry. The sooner you ask someone, the sooner they'll all leave you alone and you can -" her voice stopped abruptly but he didn't dare look up. After a moment's pause she spoke again, "Well, goodnight, Harry."

Only after he heard footsteps on the stairs did he pull away from Lavender and glance in the direction she'd gone before turning to look at Harry with an arched brow.

"Seriously Ron?" Harry looked exasperated.

"Whaa? What'd I do now?"

"What didn't you do Ron." Harry's expression darkened as his eyes flitted briefly to Lavender who was now rummaging through her bag and completely ignoring both boys as she hunted for her lipgloss.

"Oh…" Ron rubbed the back of his neck and looked towards the fire, really not in the mood to discuss his short-comings. "Fancy a game of chess?"

"You look kinda busy mate."

"What? Oh Lav?" he pushed her legs off his lap. "You don't mind do ya Lav?"

Lavender didn't reply as she re-adjusted and slowly applied a layer of gloss to her lips. The faint smell of bubblegum wafted toward Ron and made his stomach turn.

"Lav?"

"Of course not Won-won. I told Patty I'd help her choose something to wear to her parents Christmas party over break, so I should go anyway. You boys have fun." She planted her freshly glossed lips directly on his before popping off the sofa and heading up the stairs to the girls dormitory.

As soon as she was out of sight Ron dragged the back of his hand across his mouth in a vain attempt to remove the sticky gloss. "Blimey. Do they make that stuff sticky on purpose? It's disgusting."

Harry half-heartedly laughed and moved to set up the chessboard. "Why don't you just tell her you don't like it?"

"Tell her?" Ron looked pained. "Tell her? Like the time I told her that her headband made her look like bleedin' Babbity Rabbity? My ears are STILL ringing. No thank you. Come on. You can be white."

"I'm always white."

Ron smirked, "That's cause you need the advantage to even stand a chance of beating me."

And with that, both boys blissfully ignored their girl problems for the next hour.

A small ray of light peeked through a crack in the bed curtains and Ron found himself once again trying to forget his dreams from the night before. He rolled over on his belly and groaned, trying instead to summon images of a beautiful blonde. A blonde who would kiss him like there was no tomorrow, a beautiful girl with blue eyes who hung on his every word. But the images wouldn't come. His vision was filled with eyes the colour of firewhiskey, eyes that set his insides on fire. The girl with the firewhiskey eyes was smiling at him. She was touching him and her hands were so soft… He squeezed his eyes tight against the memory but it was too vivid and he was so tired.

She was close, so close he could feel her breath on his neck. His heart was beating so hard it physically hurt. Her dark hair fell in messy curls obscuring her face, he needed to see her. Needed to touch her. His hand raised to brush back the curls, but she stepped away from him. As if pulled by an invisible tether he took a step towards her. Wherever she went he knew he'd follow. He heard her give a choked cry as she lifted her hand towards him. He reached out again but his hand passed straight through the vision and the girl in front of him dissolved into a mist.

Ron awoke again with a muttered curse on his lips, 'For fucks sake..' he hissed as he rubbed his eyes. He almost preferred the dreams that left him feeling hard and unsatisfied. Those feelings he knew how to deal with. He'd been dealing with those since he was fourteen and realized he had the slight problem of fancying one of his best friends. These dreams though… the girl was miserable. She was upset and he couldn't help. He couldn't even fucking touch her. They made his chest ache and he'd wake up ready to bite someone's head off. It was early yet but there was no way in hell he wanted to go back to sleep, so he shoved his legs into the nearest pair of trousers, threw on yesterday's crumpled shirt and left his dorm as quickly as possible.

December 20th. Fucking December 20th. Ron was sprawled on the sofa in the common room waiting for Harry to come down and willing himself to stay awake. He could be spending the night eating fancy food with Harry and Hermione, laughing with his best friends. Even if she'd only wanted to go as friends, they'd still have been together. Maybe he could have convinced her to dance with him. Maybe they would have found themselves under the mistletoe. Everything could have changed tonight. He could have told her how he felt …. Instead she'd finally realized she was better off without him. He wasn't smart, he wasn't handsome. She hated him. Perhaps it was better this way. He'd never have been good enough for her. It had only been a matter of time. Who was he anyway? 'Ron Weasley… Harry Potter's stupid friend.' He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes and tried to push back the feelings that were threatening to erupt.

Today had sucked. Plain and simple. The worst. He'd made Hermione cry. Again. Fuckin 'ell. Why couldn't he stop himself. He tried to tell himself she deserved it. She'd laughed at him first.

Harry was right. He should just say he was sorry. Even if she sent an entire bloomin' flock of canaries after him. He'd just shoved a spoonful of custard into his mouth when he saw her smiling at Pavarti. She seemed like she was in a good mood… maybe now would be a good time to-

Ron choked on his custard and made a sound like a plunger being withdrawn from a blocked sink. Fucking McLaggen! Hermione was taking McLaggen to Slughorn's party?! Ron's vision swam red and Hermione's tinkling voice saying, 'I like really good Quidditch players' echoed in his ears. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak. He wanted to break something. No. He wanted to break someone.

Ron stood with his back to the stone, one foot propped up on the wall behind him. There's no way he could have stayed in the common room waiting for the others to return from their Slug Club festivities. He'd have driven himself insane. He clenched his fist as he pictured Hermione dancing with Cormac. Cormac's sweaty paws on her waist. Cormac touching her soft bushy hair. He shook his head to clear the unwanted images. Not that he was doing much better out here. He'd managed to pacify Flitch by flashing his prefect badge but that hadn't gotten him any closer to the party. He was still a floor up and it had been hours since he'd heard or seen anyone. Wasn't the damn thing over yet?

He'd briefly considered heading back to his room but the thought of sleeping… or worse…dreaming, filled him with such dread that he had decided standing in this cold hallway all night by himself was infinitely preferable. They had to leave the party at some point. They had to pass through this hall to return to their rooms. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cool stone. Damnit he was so tired. He hadn't slept well in… well.. since Ginny had suggested the extracurriculars Hermione had gotten up to with Krum. Fuckin Krum. Fuckin McLaggen. Dammit Hermione. Ron couldn't decided who he hated more. He spun away from the wall and slammed his fist into solid stone. The pain in his hand briefly eclipsed the pain in chest, but it didn't last long. Not nearly long enough. He was about to throw a second punch when he heard the sound of laughter and saw the door to the loo open. He quickly ducked behind the nearest tapestry and sucked on his bloody knuckles as he eavesdropped on the girls exiting the room.

"Oooh and did you see who Cormac was with?" a blonde Ron recognized as a 7th year Slytherin giggled. "Looked like he was definitely following through on his plan to 'defrost the ice queen'. They appeared quite cosy under the mistletoe."

"Oh but you missed the rest of it! Remember what she said about Quidditch players? Turns out Granger is all bark and no bite. Cormac kissed her and she bolted! Ran straight to Potter I hear! Now we know why Krum dumped her."

"Unless her and Potter really ARE an item. You know what Skeeter always said about those two- "

The voices faded as the girls disappeared down the hall. Ron didn't bother following them. He didn't need to hear anymore. He could easily imagine what must have happened. Rage consumed him as he slipped from his hiding place and headed straight for Slughorn's office.

"Ron… Ron! Stop it." Ginny's voice was insistent but calm.

"Ginny, this filthy git mauled Hermione." Ron was almost as tall as Cormac and while Cormac was a fair bit burlier, Ron had anger and adrenaline on his side.

"What's it to you anyway Weasley?" Despite being pinned to the wall by the back of Ron's arm Cormac seemed nonplussed by the whole situation. "Why do you care about some silly chit? I hear you're dating that hot blonde who puts out."

The sound of blood rushing in his ears was so loud Ron could barely hear. He didn't know it was possible to be this angry. "That 'silly chit' happens to be my best friend you fucking prick, and if you ever, EVER so much as even think of touching her again-" Ron paused, there was no way Cormac would ever be intimidated by him,… he lowered his voice, "Just remember who my brothers are."

McLaggen had the good sense to pale considerably. He'd been in the same year as the twins, before they'd prematurely ended their studies, and knew full well what they were capable of.

"Ron." Ginny's voice was more hushed now. "Someone's coming. You've got to let him down."

Ron grudgingly released Cormac but didn't step backwards. "Remember what I said McLaggen. I'm serious. Don't go near her. Hermione is too good for you. You so much as fucking think about her and-"

Ginny pulled on his arm, "You HAVE to leave Ron."

Ron allowed himself to be pulled away, but as soon as they were out of sight Ron refused to move, "Where is she Ginny?" his voice cracked and he ran his fingers through his hair, standing it on edge, making him appear a bit manic. "Where's 'Er-mione?"

"She's okay Ron. She left an hour ago. She's fine. Just a little shaken. You on the other hand, what the hell is wrong with you?"

Ron slid down the stone wall and dropped his head to his knees. "I.. I don't know… I'm just so bloody angry all the time and she's never going to talk to me again is she," his voice choked on the words.

Ginny sat down next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. "I love you both. But you are total idiots you know that right?"

Ron looked at her, obviously confused.

"You could start with saying you're sorry for being a total prat, yeah?"

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

"By the way, what happened to your hand?"

Ron looked down at his forgotten knuckles. "Oh, shite. I'd forgotten about that. Thanks. Now they bloody well hurt again."

"Well I would assume so! It looks like you got in a fight with a brick wall."

"Erm. Yeah."

Ginny stared at him. "You're lucky you're my brother and that I have to love you because you're awfully stupid sometimes."

He elbowed her in response.

"Come on, we should get back to the common room before someone comes looking for us." she started to stand.

"…Kay, b- but can we just stay here a few more minutes? I don't wanna, ya know,.. chance seeing anybody." He stuck a bleeding knuckle to his mouth and sucked on it. "Damn that hurts."

Smiling sadly she sat back down leaned against him, "Of course."