I have literally been writing this for so long, Tangled was released and I thought I'd get shamed for being in fashion, then it completely faded from public memory and I was off the hook again.

I think the inception of this, was that I always thought rapunzels were a very obscure sort of plant; and that it was almost as much of a non-sequitur as I initially found the term 'marzipan'. In fact, it took me years to properly look up either of them, and to discover marzipan was not a plant. So I guess I wrote this? And the eventual role-switch in this piece wasn't intentional, but started with what I figured was Homestar's natural association with her; then I recalled all this SB/Marzi fanart on deviantart, and became curious as to whether I could escape the constant fan narrative of 'HR & Marzi Are Already Together But Secretly She Pines For This Guy She Hates And Vice Versa'. I find that silly.
This also gets silly. 4/5 in we hit Peak Fanfiction Saturation. That's my bad.
(The other thing worth noting, is that without Homestar in the public eye, I figure the 'main character' becomes Pom Pom; which is of course, not remotely true in practice, but it's something that probably needed prior mentioning. Because I did an awful job of conveying it, and without a blunt declaration, it just comes out of nowhere and is stupid. Lmao. x.x)

So, I don't think this is really very good at all; but it has been sitting in my hard drive for yonks, and heck I'm uploading it if it's the last thing I do. Forgive my fourteen-year-old self's writing; and well forgive my twenty-one-year-old self's writing too, but for a different reason. And everybody please forgive me for Poorly Characterised Shipping. I love goofing around with different pairings, but I don't actually care about any of them, if that reassures anyone. It's difficult to twist characters towards something more serious than their source material; but I hope altogether this attempt is of idle amusement at least.

~2009-2016, ages 14-21! x

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It was a perfect day when Coach Z sauntered up to Bub's Concession Stand and spoke those seemingly innocent words: "Oh boy, Bubsy, am I havin' a spontaneous cravin' for marzipan."

"Why you tellin' me?" Bubs asked, putting down the kettle he was sorting. "You know I don't stock any candy worth more than three dollars!"

"Yeah, I know..." The coach sighed and leaned against the counter, head drooped despondently. "I was just thinkin', maybe youse could get some from that old lady's patch o' marzipans there? I'm sure she won't mind."

Bubs frowned, shoving his companion off his store. "There ain't no reason why you can't do it yourself!" That pitiful attempt at an adorable stare eventually got through to him, though, and with rage barely kept in check he pulled himself across to the small garden. Coach Z's face seemed to ignite rage like that.

The plants were definitely not like anything he'd seen before: they had a candied look about them, and it was indeed very hard to tell how they even grew. Bubs was fascinated by them for a short moment, before shrugging and grabbing one of the odd flowers.

"Halt! Pouwice! POUWICE!" Bubs froze. Coach Z froze. The wooden door slowly swung open... and out toddled an angry child, with an underbite the size of Montana. "Don't think of even touching my fwowers, heathens!"

I thought you said it was an old lady, Bubs mouthed to Coach Z, who mouthed back, It's not my job to know these things. No problem, then; he could scare the kid into submission. Bubs made sure each step was loud and forceful as he stomped up the path, until he completely shadowed the young child.

"Guess what, kid?" he said, coldly quiet. "I could set fire to your whole garden, and there wouldn't be nothing you could do about it."

"I can if you're stealing my veggies, stealers," Underbite-Kid retorted, possibly so spoilt or so oblivious that intimidation didn't affect him. "My gwamma gave me those, and I'm not letting you take them away fwom me!"

"Yeah, okay," Bubs said, turning round.

"What are you doin', man?! He's just a little kid! I need some food here!"

"What is this, middleman ping-pong?" Bubs muttered, before turning back to the small child. "Look, I got all kinds of crazy cra - things I can give to you, okay? You just let me have this flower - a single flower - and you can have anything you want. Deal?"

Underbite-Kid complementated the offer for a minute. It was literally a minute, and in that time Bubs managed to take a few more flowers for future bribery. "It's a deal, mister. But," he shouted as Bubs was about to go back, "you gotta give me one of your babies!"

"Out of all the things he could want!" the blue man cried, finally losing his temper. "This is the stupidest thing I've had to do all day! Yeah, kid, I'll get you your baby. Coach Z, here's your freakin' marzipans. Now if you don't mind, I'll be leavin' here, hopefully managing to do something of more worth!"

"But Bubs," Coach Z started, hesitating as his friend turned around oh-so-slowly, "there ain't an orphanage anywhere near this place! Where do you suppose you'll ever find a dang baby?"

"I got connections," came the curt reply, and Bubs stormed off before anybody else could add more.

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"Excuse me, Senor Runner."

"Yes, Marzipan?"

"Can... can I just ask why I've never been allowed out of this tower, my whole life?" The young girl nervously twisted her hair as she asked her question. "Not meaning any offense, Senor, but through this window-shaped hole it's hard to pretend I can't see the entire world, outside."

Crap. He knew the window was a bad idea. He should've gone without and reallocated the budget to stairs. But nevertheless, the damage was done! He would just have to change the subject with tact and authority.

"I can hear you, senor."

"... Cwap. Well, let me tell you, young missy, that this is all entirely for your own safety," Homestar snapped. "In case you didn't know, there's bears, and sharks, and they kill more people than coconuts!" He continured to glare at her intensely until she turned away to do some more painting.

It had been fifteen years since he'd been given custody of that kindly couple's baby, and while he couldn't quite remember why he'd decided on isolating her, it seemed like it was turning out alright. Sometimes, he'd wonder if it was the right thing to do... and then he'd reassure himself that it was better than having her boss him around, like she might in some alternate universe or something. Homestar didn't take orders from nobody.

Speaking of which, he was hungry.

"Hey, Marzi, I'm gonna go make some lunch," he said, walking over to the 'window'. He knew she hated this system ever since one of the many books brought up here happened to mention stairs; she grudgingly released the bun on her hair, though, letting metre after metre of braid fall out. Together, the two lifted the winding trail of hair up and over the ledge, and down and down it went...

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