(A/N: I don't own any of the characters, except for Alysha, cause well, she's me (: I don't own the song, "Again, It Goes Unnoticed", it belongs to Dashboard Confessionals.)
We sat on the couch, exchanging awkward glances back and forth. Not a word as been said since she walked threw my door. We were watching the OC on DVD. She brought it over, I wouldn't watch it if she wasn't there. This had become a tiresome routine of ours, she would come over, we'd watch an episode of the OC or a movie, and then she'd go home. It was getting to the point where I just wanted to scream at her, but I couldn't. I know I couldn't. It happened all so quickly. We were the perfect couple. Were being the key word, but lately everything wasn't going the way we planned it. I was just about to open my mouth to say something before she stopped me.
"Can you get me something to drink?" She spoke, her eyes not moving from the TV screen. I nodded, although I knew she didn't notice, and stood up. I went to the kitchen, poured her a glass of water and handed it to her. I sat down again beside her, putting my arm around her shoulders, hoping just maybe that would give a signal that I wanted to do something else other than watch TV.
So quiet.
Another wasted night,
The television steals the conversation.
I looked over at her. Her emotionless face broke into a laugh as she intently watched the show. She wouldn't even look at me and she seemed uncomfortable under the weight of my arm, so I removed it. I sighed, again hopping, to signify that I was bored and wanted to do something else. She didn't give me anything but a quick glance out of the corner of her eye.
Exhale.
Another wasted breath,
Again it goes unnoticed.
"Alysha?" I spoke, turning off the TV. She yawned.
"Yeah?" She glared at me a little for turning off the TV.
"Are you okay?" I asked, not sure where I was taking this conversation. This was the first time in a week that we've actually attempted to have a conversation.
"I'm fine. Why?" She stretched her arms over her head before standing up.
"You seem...not fine. Is something wrong?"
She yawned again, making her way into the kitchen, probably to grab something to eat. I followed her, wanting to know the answer to my question. Maybe she was just tired? For week though? Does she see it too?
"Nope." She put on a fake smile, grabbing a bag of BBQ chips from the cupboard.
"Are you sure?"
"Well..." She turned to face me, her eyes were hard to read, and I couldn't tell what she was going to say.
Please tell me you're just feeling tired
Cause if it's more than that
I feel that I might break.
"You have no clean bowls." She replied, digging around in the cupboard.
I sighed again. "Check the dishwasher, it's clean." I watched her every move, there was something she wasn't telling me.
She yawned again. "I'm so tired." She explained. "After chips and watching the rest of the show I'm going home."
"Or you could spend the night here?" I offered. I knew my parent's wouldn't care. They never did, they seemed to trust me.
"Nahh," She shrugged. "That's okay."
Out of touch, out of time.
We sat back down on the couch as she flipped the TV back on, pressing rewind on the remote.
"I..." I paused. I completely lost what I was going to say. "How are you?"
She rolled her eyes before pressing play on the TV, digging her hand into the chip bowl and popping a chip into her mouth. Within seconds we were back to our awkward glances and not talking. I didn't understand what was happening. Why wasn't she talking to me? What do rolling eyes insinuate? That something's wrong or that I'm annoying her?
Please send me anything
But signals that are mixed.
Cause I can't read your rolling eyes
Out of touch, are we out of time?
We stood at her front door, I had walked her home. The only thing we did was hold hands. We didn't even talk.
"Bye." She smiled, pressing her lips against mine.
I tried to hold on to her longer, but she pulled away almost as quickly as she started.
"Bye..."
Close lipped, another goodnight kiss
Is robbed of all its passion.
I embraced my arms around her. If she wouldn't let me kiss her, I thought I'd give a shot at giving her a hug. Her hugs used to be tight and long, leaving me feeling warm inside with a feeling that I wasn't used to. This passed couple of days they have been loose and short. Like she was hugging a hated aunt, hopping she could just get it over with.
Your grip, another time, is slack
It leaves me feeling empty.
"Are you sure nothings bothering you?" I asked, just before she opened her door. She turned to face me.
"What's with all the questions Shane?" She asked, playing with her keys in her hand. She seemed nervous, or distracted.
I shrugged. "It's just...I don't know. I got a feeling that you don't wanna be with me anymore."
She looked down at her keys, either lost in thought or trying to remember all fifty-one states in alphabetical order. I really hope she wasn't thinking what I was thinking. I couldn't bare to have her leave me. She was my everything, my missing puzzle piece.
Please tell me you're just feeling tired
Cause if it's more than that
I feel that I might break
Out of touch, out of time.
She finally looked up and bit her lower lip.
"You don't have to reply right away." I told her, half sarcastically and half half-heartedly. I wanted to know what she was thinking, but I didn't. I didn't want it to be bad.
She rolled her eyes, before sticking her key into her lock on her door. What's with the rolling eyes, did she think that I could understand what she was trying to say?
Please send me anything
But signals that are mixed
Cause I can't read your rolling eyes
Out of touch, are we out of time?
I shoved my hands in my coat pocket as I walked back down the street towards my house. It was just after eleven thirty and even though it was the middle of July, it was kinda cold outside. I could see my breath in the night air with every exhale I let out. I'll call her tomorrow to find out her answer. I don't think I could handle bad news face to face. If it was bad news that is. After she tells me, maybe it'll fix us.
I'll wait until tomorrow
Maybe you'll feel better then
Maybe we'll be better then
I lay in bed, tossing and turning. I had just woken up from a dream where Alysha broke up with me and I was living my future; a cracked-out weird guy living on the streets. Yeah, that's how I pictured myself without her. Not that I'm addicted to crack or anything. But with the pain of her leaving me, I need something to make me feel better.
So what's another day
When I can't bear
These nights of thoughts of going on without you
I sat up, turning on my bedside lamp, my phone just vibrated; a text message from Alysha.
Heeey...sorry for not answering your question. I don't know. I'm going through some stuff right now...but it'll get better soon. I promise. I love you 3
A smiled found its way to my lips as I closed my phone. There was no need to reply to her message. She would know that I got it. She was going threw some stuff. I didn't want to ask her what stuff because she didn't want to talk about with me, but with time, I knew she would. I feel back to sleep, an image of her smiling; a smile that I hadn't seen in so long that I thought I had almost forgot it.
This mood of yours is temporary;
It seems worth the wait
To see your smile again.
Out of the corner of your eye,
Won't be the only way you'll look at me then
We sat on the couch, the OC filling the TV again. She hadn't spoken to me about the text message she left me. She didn't really speak at all, just the usual "Hey," as she entered my house. She didn't even ask me what I wanted to do this time. She usually did, even though we'd just end up doing whatever she wanted. I tapped my fingers on the arm of the couch as she placed her head on my shoulder.
So quiet.
Another wasted night,
The television steals the conversation.
I didn't put my arm around her. Not tonight. I knew it wouldn't work out the way I wanted it too. Maybe some other night, some other time. When I felt that she could handle it. Or the night that she decided that she didn't just want to sit and watch TV. I bit the inside of my cheek, sighing.
Exhale.
Another wasted breath.
She didn't even glance up at me like she used to when I sighed. Her eyes stayed glued to the TV. She picked her head off my shoulder and laid it on the other end off the couch, her feet on my lap.
Again it goes unnoticed.