Sometimes the line between love and fear are blurred, and scars make you wary of passion.
His mind was reeling, but he stood tall and still, every inch of fortitude he possessed equipped to keep the weakness at bay. She looked up at him with those eyes, those blood red eyes. They were innocent and scared today. It was hard to believe those eyes could be ruthless and cold, that they could strike fear into his heart, because today they only made him want to protect her more.
"Haji…" She said to him in a whisper, eyes downcast and sad. Her whispers made him shiver. "You've been with me such a long time…" She told him, though he already knew. Her cold, pretty hands slid to the back of his neck. Her touch was soft. Her other hand slid around the arm of his coat. She watched the fabric with red eyes. Red eyes he feared he could not read. He used to be able to, but he was never sure ever since then.
Sometimes the years blurred together. Saya was different, now, than she had been. She was kinder and more selfless. But sometimes Haji saw her as she had been once, briefly. It was not her original selfish haughtiness he feared. Sometimes Haji feared he'd see that animalistic fury in her big red eyes, that he'd look into them and find her void of all the kindness he knew she held.
And even then, when she was horrifying, he had loved her regardless, so he would certainly still love her now, now that she was so soft and scared. But with the monster inside her, lying dormant, waiting to scar him again, Haji's fear would still reside. Like a shadow, like a stain, lingering.
"I… need to thank you…" She told him, looking him in the eye. Blood red eyes, blood red like the skies in Vietnam that night. She gently pulled his head towards her, standing on her toes to reach his lips. Her touches made him shiver. So simple a gesture made Haji's swimming head whirl even more. He threw the last of his fortitude against the walls of his mind to keep them from caving, to keep from crumbling. Fear and love and passion collided in her, but he wouldn't fall- he couldn't fall. He had to protect her. But if he fell, it would be his fear, his love, and his passion- for her. She would be his end.
Longing words slipped from his lips, Haji whispered the name of she who would be his death.
"Saya..."