AN: A journal entry for my college class turned fiction. I think it's cute, though who am I. The topic was write a letter to a dead person, so who would come up but dear old Fausty? I was terrified the teacher would be scared away by it, but she loved it. Yay!
Eliza
Today was cloudy. Not in the looming way of an impending storm, but in the way of the paths of light concurring the black though the black remains just the same.
The way we used to sit on the hill and watch all those years ago -the way you said were roads for the angels to ride down on in their chariots to save the world.
But I'm sure you remember.
I even sat on the same hill to watch it; though now, with my limbs so long and the space beside me so completely empty, it was hardly what it had been before. That's a shame, too. At another time, it might have been called beautiful.
'Beautiful' as in 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'.
'Beautiful' equals 'interchangeable.'
Someday, I'll need to take you. The grey stone of the cellar can hardly be an enjoyable thing to stare at day in and day out. I apologize for that –I will get around to changing the aesthetics.
Though, I may hold off on that. All will be ready soon enough to take you into the main house. To bring you into the fine silk you so deserve to be laid on rather than the operating table in the dark emptiness which is the cellar.
You'll be happy to note I have been making progress in my research. My ancestor's notes are vague at best so it's hard to make up nor down from them. But I have found a system.
You see, he coded them. What I once told you was gibberish is actually a quite refined system of hyperboles, analogies and metaphors,
For example, the word 'bat' would go back into the phrase 'as blind as a'.
Therefore, 'bat' equals 'blind'.
I've needed to buy an entire library of slang dictionaries, mythology texts and thesauruses. He really was a clever man at the end of the day, no matter the outcome of his actions.
I'm nearly half way done deciphering his greatest feet –necromancy. Doesn't the word just roll off your tongue? Feel so good to hear and to say that you want to purposely go into the topic just to use the word?
Like a child with a new toy, so am I with the study. It's amazingly interesting, you see, to delve the depths you've been told your entire life to avoid. To walk the path everyone else fears to tread.
I'm not cutting a new way, but clearing 500 years of overgrowth feels so unbelievably exhilarating. Saying it's better than sex is not true; however close it may seem. Apples and oranges, Eliza. Apples and oranges.
'Apple', as in 'keeps the doctor away'.
'Apple' equals 'once', 'doctor' or 'healthy'.
'Apple' as in 'apples and oranges'.
'Apple' equals 'incomparable'.
I've begun to think along those lines you see. It can bring you through those long hours my body craves for sleep but my mind refuses. And there are oh, so many of those hours.
If I sleep, I am wasting precious hours of study, breaking a train of thought which may never be able to be repaired. It could cost me everything. It could cost me you.
Not to mention that the place next to me is so empty –waking up in the middle of the night, looking over to see nothing. It's far more pain than I could ever handle. But then, I've always been weak.
As a consequence, the bags under my eyes are growing darker and hallucinations are coming next to every hour now. Trees are walking, ceilings are sagging in the middle and colors change at random.
But as I see it, it is a fair trade off for getting a second chance at life.
Don't fret, Eliza, don't fret. Though the path is psychologically tiring, it is surprisingly easy physically.
Those marks on my neck and biceps, you remember how we used to spend nights trying to discover their meaning, correct? They are gifts, Eliza –blessed, cursed gifts.
They strengthen the bonds, you see, between my subject and me. My bloodline assures me significant power, control and talent. In bred since eight generations back –a stone passed on again and again that I only need to polish to create a beautiful jewel.
I brought our Frankensteiny back just the other day. He's so happy to be up and running, you would love to see him. He's been galloping around the house just because he is now able to. I tell him every day that you're coming back to see us, to be with us. About how lovely it will be to have our family again.
And I'm nearly there, Eliza, I'm so nearly there! It's practically torture to say that I am not, will not be there for who knows how long though I can see the end.
And can you imagine? Being able to sit together, hold one another, be as we always were? Have you shut that thought out because of the pain it had caused?
I say to you now reawaken that dream, that secret longing you've had to put aside for so long! Remember the blissful time we once had because it will soon be our reality!
Oh, Eliza, you've no idea the pain, the torment I've gone through, waiting to look into your eyes and know the problems of the world are of little matter. To hold you in my arms and to feel everything perfectly harmonized for as long as we touch. Have you felt the same sense of helplessness and despair?
I hope your time has been better. I apologize again for the disrespect I have given you, leaving you on the operating table and locking you away from the evils and the joys of the world. You must understand I needed to exhaust all medical knowledge. I know that a gun shot wound to the head should be considered final. To the rest of the world it would be.
But we have never been the rest of the world, have we, Eliza?
Would the rest of the world even consider what we are going to do? Abandon God and embrace the Devil?
It shall be worth it, my Eliza, my love, my everything, to simply be with you a moment longer.
And we'll sit on the hill we outgrew so long ago and watch the angels ride their chariots away from us, abandoning us just as we have them.
I ask you to wait for me Eliza.
And watch the clouds roll by.
Forever yours Johann