Story title are lyrics taken from 'Heart shaped Glasses' by Marilyn Manson (Chapter titles will be lyrics too) Chapter title for this one is from 'Dead memories' by Slipknot.

Welcome to my first Multi chaptered Glee story, I'm nervous and excited to begin this, I'm not sure how long it will be but it will be at least ten chapters.

I aim to get it finished before December as I have less time available then so hopefully I can keep that goal to get this up and finished by end of November.

Note- As mentioned in the story description, this is a non Klaine/Blaine friendly story. I was a klaine fan for a while but since the first time episode my love for Klaine and Blaine slowly died. I will refrain from getting into reasons why here as it will become apparent this chapter and chapters beyond this why I dislike him and Klaine in general. Kurt makes a list of reasons why Blaine and himself are better off without each other and starts to realise while writing that they never should have dated and just remained friends. You will see odd reasons pop up during chapters when Kurts looks back at the list to remind himself while being single and free is easier. So if you are a Klainer or a huge Blaine fan then this is your warning that this story won't be in favour of his character at all. So it's best I let you know now before I get people leaving me reviews about what I've done. If anyone want's the list Kurt makes - I plan to add it to my Tumblr, will put a link up in one of my future chapters.

So anyway apart from that and the fact this story contains spoilers up to episode 4×04 and beyond (if I am still writing this when the next episode comes out) that is the last from the authors note..on with the fic :)

But you asked me to love you and I did.
Traded my emotions for a contract to commit

And when I got away, I only got so far. The Other Me Is Dead.
I hear his voice inside my head...
We were never alive, and we won't be born again.
But I'll never survive with Dead Memories in my heart.

'I was with someone'

It had been a week since Kurt's entire world had been turned upside down, a week since he had heard the phrase he had never wanted to hear from his boyfriend, a week since he had last smiled.

A week since his Facebook profile had the 'Kurt Hummel is now single' post. (He still hadn't looked at his Facebook since then either)

It had been a long week.

But now after the longest week of his life, Kurt had come to a decision that had been the result of his new outlook. 'Love is a waste of time'

He had gained the outlook after watching a movie where two of the main characters just engaged in casual sex and the sole purpose was to get off with no strings attached, during this movie Kurt had come to the realisation that it would be so much easier to just fuck rather than make love.

Sex with his ex had always been with too many feelings involved and what had that done for him, got his heart broken. Sex without meaning would make sure he could protect his heart and not have to worry about ever having it broken again.

With that in mind, Kurt choose his sexiest outfit and headed to the nearest bar from his and Rachel's apartment, under the lie he was going to get frozen yogurt with a work friend.

It was there that he met his first conquest and first man after Blaine to make him come and he didn't know his name. In the bathroom at a random club, Kurt let himself be used and didn't let himself feel.

KxS

'Faster' Kurt urged, as the random guy slammed into him over and over, forcing his body closer to the bathroom wall.

"Mouthy guy you are' the random hissed in Kurt's ear but complied all the while, picking up pace so the room was filled with obscene slapping sounds as the man's balls hit Kurt's arse.

Kurt groaned, throwing his arm behind him to latch into the man's hair and tugged hard.

"Are you close sexy" the man asked, breathing hotly in Kurt's ear.

"Yeah, Fuck" Kurt moaned in response.

"Come for me then" the man demanded, reaching forward and tugging on Kurt's cock, it only took a few tugs before Kurt was coming all over his stomach and the man's hand.

"Fuck" the man growled, slamming into Kurt a few more times before coming himself.

"Oh" Kurt moaned, reaching a hand up and scrubbing at as his face as his body still worked through the after shocks.

"So can I have your number" the mystery man asked, as he pulled out and turned to dispose of the condom.

Kurt pulled his jeans up and did up the buttons and buckle on his jeans before heading for the stall door, the movements of someone who had done this more than once and he had.

"Sorry" Kurt said quickly, searching his brain for a good lie "I don't live here"

"Oh well maybe we might bump into each again one day" the man said.

Kurt paused with his hand on the handle of the door and said his last line before exiting.

"Maybe'

KxS

#4. He always blamed me for things, just so he could make himself feel better or look better.

Kurt stared down at the sentence, his eye's drier then they often were when looking at this list.

The urge to cry himself to sleep because of his ex had lessened.

When he had first slept with a random at a club, the week after he'd been dumped. He had run home and cried in the shower while trying to not think of Blaine.

Now 2 weeks later and he no longer felt the pain in his chest or the urge to cry when he thought of his ex or slept with some guy who didn't know the tricks to get Kurt off. He had a range of kinks he was too scared to admit to wanting. So like he had done countless times before, he had thought of those kinks while being fucked and it had been his undoing. Still despite that, this casual sex arrangement was working well. Also his idea to write a list of all the way's Blaine was wrong for him was helping too.

The list was formed the same day he fucked his first random. After getting home and crying once again over Blaine, he had stopped himself and grabbed a piece of paper, a pen and wrote a list (which turned into a long one at that) of all the reasons why Blaine wasn't right for him. It then included reasons explaining why they should have just remained friends. He felt loads better after writing it and from then on, turned to it when ever he needed reminders of why being without Blaine was for the best. It was working.

#7. He didn't know how to satisfy me in the bedroom, it was his needs first. Always

That was a big one for Kurt, now looking back. He wondered why he had put up with their mundane sex life. It didn't help that both had been subs and had wanted to Bottom, after their first time when Blaine had tried topping and hadn't even lasted a minute they decided (well Blaine decided) to just let Kurt be the top. Kurt had been a little disappointed with that but kept quiet because he'd been blinded by his ideals of love and didn't see that as one of the many signs of how wrong they were for each other.

Kurt wasn't going to go through that again, so if it meant causal sex for ever. He would do it. Despite Blaine taking the bottom spot being a pain, it didn't spell the end of Kurt's chances, no. He ended up on an online sex site a month after their first time and brought himself a vibrator.

He had been able to train himself out of gag reflex (wasted on Blaine as he hated anything that wasn't gentle sex and refused to let Kurt deep throat and refused to suck Kurt either. Claiming it being dirty. That was on the list under selfish Blaine)

He also got plenty of bottom time for himself with that vibrator and it was bigger than Blaine, now he didn't need it so much, as the last 2 weeks he had managed to find his fair share of men willing to fuck him as tops. He was doing well for himself.

Keeping this from his family and friends had been stress full, after the break up and his relationship status change, he had calls and texts from his father, friends asking what had happened.

Blaine had texted a lot too (begging for forgiveness, these were all ignored)

He told his Dad he was fine and just needed to throw himself into his work. He begged Rachel to not talk to anyone and tell them about the cheating, so along with Finn, she was the only one who knew Blaine had cheated. Her and Finn agreed to not tell anyone else about the cheating. Kurt wasn't protecting Blaine, he just didn't want to get anyone involved into their drama, unlike his ex he knew what was to stay private.

He sent a mass text to his friends saying the distance had been hard and they had parted ways, he also sent one txt to Blaine (well Rachel had on his behalf) saying to leave him alone and to go along with the lie.

Blaine was surprisingly happy that Kurt didn't tell their friends he had cheated, Kurt saw that as Blaine wanting to keep their friends. Anything that granted him more attention.

Finn also promised to not tell his dad about the cheating as that would stress his heart and Finn also promised to not kill Blaine but would still keep sending the odd death glare.

Kurt let him have that.

He was going to be fine, he just needed to keep himself going.

He needed to keep lying to Rachel, telling her he was hanging with work friends to help get over Blaine, it was keeping her prying questions at bay.

As long as he kept fucking at the clubs, he wouldn't need to worry about being caught out.

Kurt put the list away in his draw and climbed into bed exhausted, leading a double life was tiring. Now he knew how Miley Stewart felt, damn Finn for liking that show, well checking out Miley because she had grown up and apparently can't be tamed. What ever that meant. Kurt rolled his eye's and turned onto his side before drifting off to sleep.

KxS

"Morning" Rachel said, pouring herself coffee as Kurt entered the kitchen area.

"Hey" Kurt responded.

"Good night?" she asked.

"It was ok, good to keep on getting out and having fun" Kurt answered.

Rachel nodded in agreement.

"Oh I think we have a new neighbour, remember that annoying old man who lives two doors down? The same one who yelled at me for singing too loud, well he's moved out now. I noticed some one moving stuff in today, didn't get a good look at their face though" Rachel exclaimed.

Kurt raised his eye brow as he poured coffee into a travel mug, before grabbing his work stuff. He was in a hurry.

"I was thinking we could go visit them later with 'welcome to the building' cookies" Rachel said.

"They've just moved in, shouldnt we let them settle first before shoving food in their faces" Kurt said, heading over to the door.

"nonsense, it's never to early to make friends" Rachel answered.

"I'll think about it, I have to go k Rach, see you later" Kurt said, waving his coffee holding hand over his head in goodbye.

"Sure see you" Rachel responded, shutting the door after him.

Kurt raced to lift, not looking where he was going, just before he got to the door's, his shoulder collided with something soft, it was someone elses shoulder

"Ow watch it" the person he had bumped into snapped.

Kurt turned around to face this rude person, his eye's widened when he spotted who it was and he said the name of the one person he didn't expect to see in New York.

"Sebastian"

KxS

Well that's the first chapter, sorry it's so short.

More will be in the next one, including the reason Sebastian is in New York and living in a shitty apartment block.

Till next time,

Review and hopefully the next chapter will be up quickly

-Rach

:)