A not so perfect pregnancy [I give half credit to the reviewer who gave me this idea. You know who you are!]
[Cloud&Tifa's villa]
Cloud: [Yawns] Tifa? Where are you?
Tifa: .....in the bathroom
Cloud: Can I come in?
Tifa: ........no.
CLoud: Why not?
Tifa: 'Cause.
Cloud: Because what?
Tifa: [Pukes] Um....nothing.
Cloud: Oh...O.K.
[Shionra HQ]
Rufus: [Shakes cat food bag] Here kitty kitty,daddy's got some nice meow mix for you! [Darknation runs into the room]
Darknation: [Purrs]
Heiddeger: Sir!
Rufus: I'm having my quiet time with my panther thank you very much!
Heiddeger: But Sir-
Rufus: Blah,Blah,Blah.
Heiddeger: But-
Rufus: Talk to the hand 'cause the face no wanna hear it!
Heiddeger: SEPHIROTH AND HOJO ARE HERE TO SEE YOU MR. PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!
Sephiroth: Hey it's Rufie. How's Shin-Ra going.
Rufus: Well it's-
Sephiroth: That's nice.
Rufus: ...
Hojo: So then let's take out the cards!
Bond: Can I play.
Sephiroth: Sure.
Rufus: I got them right here! [Pulls out a deck]
Sephiroth: Ha ha! I win again! I get Rufus's shotgun!
Rufus: Aw dammit!
Bond: My turn!
Rufus: You lose Mr. Bond. [2 Shinra soliders drag Bond out]
Bond: I never lose it's Rufus's fault!!!
Hojo: Okay now it's my-hey wait...
Sephiroth: What?
Hojo: Who want's to go to Costa del Sol?
Rufus: ME! ME! ME!
[Cloud&Tifa's villa]
Tifa: Cloud I have somthing to tell you...
Cloud: What?
Tifa: I'm pregnant.
Cloud: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Hojo: Guees what?
Rufus: What?
Hojo: The Strifes are going to have a baby.
Sephiroth: Yeah so?
Rufus: Damn not another good guy running around we'll be ruined!
Sephiroth: I got a plan....
Rufus: What?
Sephiroth: You'll see....
[The cabin during the last story]
Kefka: [Cough] I'm alive....Damn Sephiroth,Hojo Rufus....betraying me. We'll I'll show those three sorry excuses for villans
Guy: Hey man are you okay...
Kefka: Beat it loser! I need a chochobo!
Guy: I have one but you can't have it. [Kefka casts a bolt spell on him] On second thought...
[Sephiroth's theme park is set up]
Sephiroth: [Leading a bunch of Wutain tourists with camera's in] Welcome to Uncle Sephy's dreamland! To our left is the house of sword going through you pain. [Wutain's take pictures]
Wutain: Picture,Picture.
Aeris: Hi everyone! heeee...heee...
Sephiroth: It's....It's....Aeris....[Blushes]
Aeris: Hi Sephy. I know your Sowey for stabbing lil' ol me.
Sephiroth: Uh...Yeah. Heh. heh. heh.
Aeris: How about you show me your amusement park?
Sephiroth: Uh....S-sure.
Hojo: Hey stick to the plan.
Sephiroth: Shove it Pops! You're supposed to be operating the rollercoster and selling Fast food!
Hojo: Get yer Jenova burgers here! Fresh from the test tube.
Aeris: Was that Porfesser Hojo.
Sephiroth: No.
[Amusement park gate]
Shinra solider#1: President Rufus's plan doesen't sound so good.
Shinra Commander: Yeah considering that the President is a sadistic maniac....
Shinra solider 2: Yeah seriously.
Rufus: Troops!
All: AH! PRESIDENT RUFUS!
Rufus: Have you seen Mr. Wuggums?
Shinra Commander: Isn't he on your shoulder.
Rufus: [See's a stuffed bear on his shoulder] MR.WUGGUMS!
Shinra Solider: ....
[Park]
Aeris: So...you wan't to come to my place sometime and watch Bambi?
Sephiroth: ....Sure heh, heh. [Blushes 10 diffrent shades]
Aeris: [Blinks her eyes at Sephiroth]
Sephiroth: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! [Carries Aeris off to the main control room]
Rufus: SEPHIROTH! WERE ARE YOU! THE STRIFES HAVE ARRIVED!
[Main control room]
Sephiroth: Forgive me Aeris but I must carry out the plan! Hojo start up the rollercoaster.
Aeris: Hey let's get married and have a honeymoon at the city of the ancients!
Sephiroth: YEAH! I NEVER KNEW THE GOOD GUY'S WERE SO PRETTY!
[Rollercoaster]
Tifa: The meteor....nice name for a rollercoaster.
Cloud: Yeah let's go!
[Main control room]
Rufus: Enjoy the rollercoaster ride. It his Harazdous to Pregnant people...
Voice: That's inhuman...
Rufus: Gah! Locke and Cid Highwind.
Locke: Have you no respect for any life?
Rufus: None.
Cid: You heartless bastard...
Rufus: Guards! Take them down.
Cid: They have been defeated.
Rufus: Then I'll take care of you myself. [Pulls out shotgun] EAT HOT LEAD!
Locke: Moogles! Get him!
Rufus: NO! NOT THEM! [All of a sudden gas shoot's out of the amusment park]
[Rollercoaster]
[Cloud,Tifa,Sephiroth,Aeris,Rufus,Hojo,Cid and Locke are tied up in the rollercoaster]
Kefka: Ha! Ha! Ha! Have you guy's forgotten what you did? Payback time!
Aeris: Hey I wasn't involved with this last time!
Kefka: Yeah...but I like watching people die!
Cloud: God! What the hell is your problem.
Kefka: I was up in that ski resort for months...surviving only on Moogle meat...
All: Ewwwwwww
Kefka: What it's good.
Rufus: C'mon Kefka just let us off...
Kefka: No. I'll start the rollercoaster. Oh by the way I modified it. Now it crashes into a wall when the ride is done...
Tifa: Please!
Kefka: Enough talk!!! [Starts the rollercoaster]
Cid: Man this is worse then the time I was constpated by all the ciggaretes I smoked.
Locke: This is worse then the time I was hooked on coughdrops.
Sephiroth: Someone hand me the black materia. Then I can transform into my One Winged Angel form and carry us to saftey.
Aeris: Where is it?
Sephiroth: In my boxers...
Aeris: Ooooooh!!!! [Blushes]
Sephiroth: Get it! Hurry your giving me a wedgie!
Aeris: Got it! [Gives to Sephiroth]
Sephiroth: Fithos Lusec....Blah Blah...[Transforms into Safer-Sephiroth]
Kefka: What the hell?
Sephiroth: Pale Horse! [Blasts Kefka away]
Kefka: NOOOOO!!!!!!!
Sephiroth: [Carries the rollercoaster to saftey] YES!
[9 months later...]
Tifa: [Holds a baby with Spiky brown hair]
Cloud: Let's name him after Zack.
Tifa: Okay where is Zack.
Cloud: Hey I wonder what happened to Sephiroth?
[Aeris's house]
Aeris: Don't you like Titanic Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: Yeah.
Aeris: You wan't to go to my room and make out?
Sephiroth: ........There IS a God.
THE END