Uploading some epic fic backlog! This was written on March 9th, 2008 according to my records. It amuses me to this day, so up here it goes. :'D
'Necessity'
"Ray," Benton Fraser began as his interestingly dressed, balding Italian partner ran a red light under the guise of 'duty', "What is the date today?"
Raymond Vecchio, having expected reprimand for his vehicular misconduct replied absentmindedly, "That was necessary, Benny."
Fraser was not to be dissuaded. "I'm afraid you didn't hear me correctly, Ray. It's the fourteenth of February, correct? And that was hardly necessary. It's true that there were no pedestrians or other vehicles, but you shouldn't be setting such examples."
"Thank you, Ma."
"Please don't take offence, Ray. It's simply a safety precaution and you as a member of America's law enforcement should know better." The mountie then continued with no precedent, "I was wondering if I should have gotten you a gift."
Vecchio responded with the sound of tires screeching.
"It's not necessary, is it? I wouldn't want to offend you, Ray, if you had expected something and I had failed to meet those expectations."
"What," the Italian-American managed, trying his best not to make eye contact. His hands were gripped tightly around the steering wheel.
"Ray?" Fraser asked honestly.
"What." Ray snuck a look over at his Canadian partner.
"Ray," Fraser nodded.
"What?" Ray swore that Benny was enjoying this, and he wasn't sure why.
"It's customary to give gifts today to those dear to you," Fraser explained calmly.
"Yeah, if you're-" Ray didn't like where this was going.
"I am what specifically, Ray?" Fraser seemed honestly confused.
"... Canadian," Ray concluded.
"Well," Fraser failed to hold back a wide grin, "If I am understanding you correctly, Ray. I like you very much, but you must understand, Ray, that some of your habits make it very hard for me to, ah, love you, as it were."
Vecchio responded by breaking the speed limit.