*Some fanfictions of mine are gone :\ If one was your favorite, I apologize. This story is set in first person account; it is a new avenue in writing for me.
*There is no beta for this story. Mistakes will be made and overlooked. If it wasn't for a good hard cry, this wouldn't even be posted.
*Chapters will be every Saturday starting January 15th. This is just teaser chapters :)
*This story is for Kimmy, for being supportive and loving. ILY.
LUMINESENCE: AFTER DARK
[Prologue]
[One Year Earlier]
"I feel lucky today, Jacob. So lucky," I exclaim before sadness hits me like a roadblock.
The clouds hang low in the grey sky, rain dropping in small droplets among the desolated grounds around the mossy stone.
"I miss you," I say to the headstone, reaching out to touch the engraving softly.
I am kneeling in Forks cemetery, my mind nowhere but on the name itself. I came here today for peace, but seeing the grave never quite diminishes the emptiness that bubbles inside me. I reach down and pick up the blue vase filled with roses that I brought, and place it carefully on the stone, taking care that the name is not obscured in any way.
"I came to tell you something," I say because it made things easier. "I made a snap decision today. Call it a quick choice, but Mr. Cullen has offered me a job in Portland, and I took it," I wipe away stray leaves from the sides of the stone and sigh. "I know how you hate the decisions I make, but you always told me to go for what I want, and what I need. Well, I need this."
Tears stain my face as they fall unabridged. I make no move to brush them away. I sit on the grass now, my legs perched against my chest and my arms wrapping protectively around them as if to shield the pain and sorrow from penetrating my chest.
"I won't be able to come by here every week anymore," I say softly. "The trek from Portland is too long."
I begin to sob now. Knowing that you have come to the same spot for six months on the same day every week has a way of tearing your heart out. There was never a time, not when the harshest of snow fell, not when the wickedest rain sloshed, did I miss a visit. Sitting in the old cemetery now, the happiness of the job offer this morning was gone; replaced by a more depressing feeling. I stand, brush the dirt off my jeans and pull a picture from my woven tunic, kneel down once more to affix the picture to the side of the grave marker.
I say, "I know this is a happy time for me, and you had always said it was a happy time for you, too. I hope this picture reminds you that I am always here for you."
I wipe my tear stained face and touch the engraving once more, for the very last time. My fingers feel the rough carving, and my mind shuts off, unable to fully function in the sorrow of the moment. I close my eyes, and then, just as quickly as I had closed them, I open them again and sigh. I look at the name on the grave and begin to weep again.
JACOB BLACK
1987-2010
"Goodbye, Jacob. I love you."
I turn around and walk back through the stones of the deceased, my legs like jelly and my vision blurred with tears. There is not a day that I did not miss him. I often go to sleep crying and wake up crying.
Perhaps this new job would hold some peace for me. Maybe it would be just the thing to distract me from the months of sorrow and bitterness I felt. Maybe this job would provide me with support and love.
I reach my car and slide into the driver's side, my fingers shaking as I try to start the engine. Finally, after holding my wrist with my free hand, the key goes into the ignition, and I am cruising down Yardly Avenue, on my way across town.
I had to pack still, and there was no doubt that Nessie, my best friend, would be waiting to help. She is from Portland, and is offering me a place to stay in her big house in the country.
I feel lucky today, Jacob. So lucky.