I've been stewing on this idea for a while now. But I'm awful at multi-chapter fics, so please bear with me. Admittedly this fic was inspired by the memory of a Harry Potter fanfic I read forever and a day ago, I think before the last book even came out. Oops. But I'm really hoping to make it it's own story.
TG: so tomorrows the big day huh
EB: if by 'big day' you mean my birthday, then no.
TG: what do you mean no
TG: you cant fool me egbert ive known you since we were 11
TG: i know when your birthday is
EB: it hasn't passed midnight for some of us, future man. :p
TG: you caught me
TG: im from the future
TG: 2 hours in the future
TG: shit gets all up and unreal two hours from now egbert
TG: time travel is invented
TG: civil war breaks out on the streets over which show is better american idol or the voice with small pocket rebellions for the x factor
TG: gas prices sky rocket to $50 a gallon overnight
TG: anarchy everywhere
TG: fires break out in north dakota and california breaks away from the rest of the country
TG: also taylor swift comes out of the closest as the as giant rug munching lesbian
EB: oh my god!
TG: the world is a place gone mad two hours from now
TG: its been my mission all along to make sure you make it to your 17th birthday
TG: the fate of the world depends on it
TG: and i have succeeded
TG: another job well done the world can rest easy another night knowing dave strider is protecting it one magic loving nerd at a time
TG: youre welcome
EB: pfff! except my birthday is two days from now and you haven't succeeded at all.
EB: nice going, asshole.
EB: you had one job, dave.
TG: crap
TG: where is my flashy thing
EB: would that even work over the internet?
TG: couldnt hurt too try
Fuck, he was rambling worse than usual. At least John didn't seem to notice his more over the top than usual behavior, or if he did, he was nice enough to keep his trap shut about it. God, he was being so stupid. Just get to the point.
TG: you doing anything special on the big day?
Or you know, get to a vague approximation of the point. That works, too.
EB: well...
EB: not really.
EB: it's not really that big of a day to begin with.
EB: i mean, it's not like i'm still a little kid making a fuss about my birthday.
Dave felt a twinge in his chest reading it. Because he knew John well enough by now to read between the lines. John wasn't a popular kid in his school. There'd never been any big parties for him since before middle school. Back in the days where a party was free cake and ice cream, and not a testament to your social standings.
He knew well enough from previous years that John's birthdays were spent either going out with his dad for dinner and a movie, or more recently, a night in with a movie on livestream.
EB: my dad will probably make me my favorite dinner.
EB: and if you're not busy maybe we can watch there's something about mary.
EB: or something else...
Oh god, someone save his heart, because Dave was sure it was breaking right now. John just assumed that his asking about the derp's plans was a subtle hint that he might not be a part of it, and now John was trying to coax him back in by picking a movie the blond would like for his birthday movie. No. You can't do that, Egbert. You're not allowed to be that pitiful!
Dave swallowed back the lump in his throat and willed his fingers steady as he typed out his response.
TG: i dont know know about you but ive been craving some declaration of independence saving action
TG: complete with riding motorcycle with burning flames engulfing skull action
TG: otherwise the night will be shot to hell
EB: :D
There, two movies starring John's man crush. He could deal with a double feature of cinematic dregs to make his best bro happy on his birthday.
Plus that emoticon did things to Dave's cardiovascular system that it had no right doing.
EB: sounds like a plan! i'll let rose and jade know about our movie itinerary.
EB: and i guess you can invite your weirdo brother and his friends since you've been trying to get me to talk to them lately.
EB: but you better tell him that none of them are allowed to make fun of my movies on my birthday!
A tall order if Dave ever heard of one. Well, for his bro, anyways. English would love the movie selection no matter what, Rose's sister was another wildcard that he didn't know how to predict.
But that's when it occurred to the younger Strider: if his hunch was right, movie night wouldn't mean shit and neither would the promises made for it. Dave felt his stomach twist oddly, not pleasant but not horrible either.
TG: best i can do is tell you that ill see what i can do about it
TG: bro is a notorious asshole and his friends are admittedly no better
EB: then why've you been pushing me to make chum pals with them lately?
TG: ...
Good question. Maybe it would be best to just outright ask.
EB: yeah, that's what i thought.
EB: you sit there and try to think up a reason.
EB: dad just came in here and announced its lights out now so i'll talk to you tomorrow.
Crap.
TG: what you still have a bedtime
TG: dude youre turning 17 in a day
EB: two.
TG: less than two almost one
TG: point is shits messed up if daddy is still telling you to go to bed at 10:30.
EB: it's a school night!
TG: yeah and its two hours later over here and look at that
TG: sandman can't get me down
TG: all sorts of adult grown up man over here
EB: yeah but you're also failing chemistry and english lit.
TG: woundin me deep here egbert
EB: go lick your wounds then.
EB: i'm going to bed.
EB: night, future man!
TG: later sleeping derpy
- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 00:37 -
So that conversation got him effectively nowhere. Dave sighed, pulled down his shades long and low enough to rub at his eyes, closing his chat window with John to pay more attention to the others he had been neglecting. Rose had just pinged him a few times just now.
TT: John informs me that his taste in fine, cinematic arts is finally rubbing off on you.
TT: Two Nic Cage films, David?
TT: I am aghast.
TG: yeah well things happened
TT: I take it you're no closer to finding out if John has a tightly locked away secret, then.
TT: One that could reveal itself in the next couple of days if there is indeed anything to be revealed?
TT: One that seems less and less likely with each passing day? Hour? Minute? Second?
TT: Could it be that your sudden bout of clairvoyance was nothing more than blind hope?
TG: oh my god
TG: youre sounding just as bad as dirk right now
TG: i want you to know that so you can realize the amount of shame that you should be feeling but are inexplicably not
TT: It wouldn't be a bad thing if you were wrong, Dave. It wouldn't change anything between you and John, right?
TT: Not your camaraderie, and not your feelings about him.
Dave bristled. Fucking Rose and her meddling ways.
TG: course not
TG: but im not wrong
TG: i can feel it in my bones
TG: john is one of us
TT: And if you're wrong?
TG: in
TG: my
TG: bones
TT: Sigh.
TT: One hopes that you packed a decent parachute should you find yourself falling from your high, hopeful perch.
TT: It's late for me.
TT: Just remember what I told you.
TG: yeah yeah
TT: Good night to you, Mr. Strider.
TG: night lalonde
- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 00:44 -
Well that was two chats sorted out. Except nothing had been sorted out in those chats at all. Dave only had one more blinking window left and he was loathe to answer it's call. It would be the second conversation he was having with a TT that night.
The asshole was just down the hall, he couldn't get up and talk to him in person?
The window kept flashing at him insistently. With a low, suffering whine of frustration, Dave clicked the blinking tab.
TT: Are you ready to admit you're wrong yet?
TT: That it is very much possible that you let your attraction to this kid blind your judgement.
TT: Not to mention make one of the dumbest and wildest theories to date.
TT: You know there's no shame in developing a boner for this kid even if he isn't one of us, right?
TT: That's is after all how we all came to be.
TT: Mostly.
TT: Not sure how it might work for you down the line if you keep exclusively riding the sausage rocket.
TG: oh my fucking god
TG: quit talking already
TG: i get it
TG: john might not be one of us
TG: you know the least you can do is be supportive of me until we know for sure instead of being the colossal maggot munching asshole youre being
TT: It appears that you think I'm being a colossal, maggot munching asshole.
TG: christ
TT: You can call me Dirk. Or Di-Stri.
TT: Could it be that your short temper and aggression towards me stems from the fact that each passing day just further proves what I've been trying to tell you all along?
TT: That your friend is nothing more than a normal human despite all fantasies to the contrary?
TT: Fantasies that in your mind made your attraction to him okay despite that there is nothing wrong with your attraction even if you were wrong?
TT: You want it to be real because you think it'd make it easier for John to accept and reciprocate your attraction.
TG: rose is that you?
TG: i thought i was talking to my insufferable brother but it turns out youre rose and you suddenly decided to change your font to eye raping orange
TT: Do you need me to be Rose, Dave?
TT: Are you in need of psychological bullshittery to make you feel better?
TT: Because I will do it.
TT: I will be there for you, bro.
TG: im going to stop talking to you now
TG: later loser
TT: You can't run from me, Dave.
- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 00:51 -
Dave signed off Pesterchum with a sound of disgust. This wasn't what he needed with "D-day (B-day)" so close at hand. If he was wrong, he'd deal with it when he knew it as fact. He didn't need to be told by the closest person in his life and his own brother that it's okay to be wrong before he even knew whether or not he was.
He'd only felt close to a few people in his life, and, as it turned out, all of them had one very particular thing in common. Something they knew about themselves all along and then about each other. Dave knew he was different since before he could remember. What he was, was just a common fact about himself, like the fact that he had blond hair and was left handed. It was simply the way things were. As far as he knew Rose and Jade grew up knowing the same.
But knowing this truth about yourself and admitting it to anyone else was tricky business. Lucky for him, his brother, Rose's sister, and Jade's half brother had laid all the ground work down for them. How they broached the subject with each other, Dave had no idea, nor did he really care. But it made it a lot easier for him and his friends. 'Oh, you're-? Me too! Wow, what are the odds?'
The only odd one out in this calculation was John Egbert, undoubtedly the closest person Dave ever felt to. It was quite the conundrum to the younger Strider for years now, and it occurred to him on his own birthday that the reason for the closeness was that John was like the rest of them, too. Only for some reason that secret never came to light. John didn't have an older sibling that coincidentally seemed to be a friend of his brother, after all. John was a single child. One that still had a parent, something else that was unlike the him and the rest of his friends.
So Dave spent the next four months trying to divulge this secret from his best friend, but the truth of the matter was that he just had no idea how to go about it. All his attempts were laughable at best, and the closer they got to April 13th, the more the words would lodge themselves in Dave's mouth and jam up on his fingertips.
How do you go about something like that anyways? 'Oh hey, Egbert. By the way, I was wondering, are you something more than human? Because you see, I am, and I think we might be the same?' Yeah, no. That wouldn't go over well in case he had been wrong (even if deep in his gut he had convinced himself that he wasn't). Rose and Dirk made fun of him, saying that he was letting himself get his hopes too high over the most ridiculous of things, but the truth of the matter was that he wasn't hopeful as much as he was just stubborn. If he was really as hopeful as they were insinuating he was, he wouldn't be the wreck he was becoming now.
They were right about one thing, though. What did it matter if John wasn't like him? So what? It wouldn't change anything about them. John would still be his best bro, his number one chum pal, the cutest derp to ever exist... dammit.
Dave closed all his browser tabs and put his computer to sleep, pushing away from his desk. With a quick flick of his wrist, he threw a shuriken over his shoulder, hearing it embed itself into his door frame with a satisfying 'thunk!'
"That's mature," his brother drawled, and Dave didn't have to look to know that the older blond was leaning against his door frame, centimeters from where the throwing star had made it's new home.
"Coulda been worse. Could've actually aimed for you," Dave shrugged as he got up, stretching his arms up high over his head, humming in satisfaction as his shoulder joints and several vertebrae popped. He jerked his head one side, then the other, more satisfyingly loud pops filling the room.
"Are you going to continue to avoid the subject?" Dirk asked his younger brother, and his ward for at least one more year.
"Thought I said I was done talking to you about it," was Dave's response.
"That makes one of us, then."
"Bro," Dave sighed his name in quiet frustration, "Look, you don't have to start talking me down about it now. I know that chances of John being like us if 50/50-"
"More like 98.230981/1.769019 against your favor," Dirk interrupted.
"Whatever," Dave flicked his hand dismissively, "The point is, you don't have to try to start softening the blow for me now. Nothing is going to convince me that John's not until I have irrefutable proof that he's not. I'm not wrong about this. I can feel it in my core."
"That's all very sweet and serendipitous, Dave. But odds are that you're wrong," Dirk said, running his hands through his hair. Honestly, talking to Dave about this lately was like talking to a brick wall.
"I'm not wrong."
"But if you are?"
Dave shrugged, "Then John is a normal guy and he'll continue to be my best bro."
Dirk nodded, conceding the argument for now, "Let's hope that you'll be this mature about it tomorrow. And for your sake, I hope you are wrong..."
Dave's brows furrowed, "Why? What the fuck, bro?"
Dirk just shook his head and let himself out of Dave's room, door closing quietly behind him.
Dave frowned at the spot his brother stood at long after he was gone, his thoughts turning themselves into knots trying to decipher that strange bit of encoded information Dirk had just bombed him with. He knew he wouldn't get an answer from his brother if he followed him now and asked. So that just let him to figure it out on his own, and he hated it. Because he never figured out Dirk's encrypted mutterings until it was too late.