Summary: Lily hates James. James loves Lily. Lily has a secret which James has found out, and now she's afraid he'll tell. Begins with an excerpt from Order of the Phoenix, no longer in Harry's POV, but through Lily and James. Rated M for adult themes in later chapters and some language.

Disclaimer: I own nothing that you may in any way recognize. All of the characters, save for a few of my own imagination belong to J.K. Rowling.

Author's Note: Hey to everyone, those new to the story, or those who have already been keeping up. I'm on a new computer so I'm in the process of transferring all my files, including this story. The release of DH, kind of threw me a bit. It makes this story a little too AU for my taste, and so I'm going to be in the process of making it DH compliant, which means, for those of you who haven't read, there could be spoilers. I think most of the problem areas I have in the story are chapters I've already submitted, so I'll be revamping those, just to let everyone know. Thanks to everyone who's been reading!

Chapter 1: Soap Suds

Lily Evans was sitting by the lake after the Defense against the Dark Arts exam. Only one more—Transfiguration—and she was finally finished with the OWL's. She could finally relax; she could finally talk to her friends, or watch Quidditch. She could finally read Merlin's Magick Mixers: Potions to Heal and to Weal.

"OY! Evans!"

Lily turned away from her Transfiguration notes, back towards the castle. Her housemates and friends, Cassandra and Lane, were walking towards her. Cassandra, with glowing lightly tanned skin, glossy black hair, and looks you could kill for, plopped down instantly beside her. "So," she began, grinning, "how was the test? Pretty easy I'd say—you probably thought it was the easiest thing in the world huh Lils? Well, exempting Potions. Whatcha looking at?" Cassandra had a habit of rambling. She peered around Lily's shoulder to look at the parchment in her hands. She made a face when she realized what it was.

"Lane! Look at what she's got!"

Lane, a sweet faced, blonde hair and blue eyed angel, sat down demurely first, smoothing down the back of her grey skirt as she sat. She just smiled and shook her head at Cassandra's comment.

"Loony, bloody loony if you ask me," Cass continued, "I mean, we just finished an exam. Give it a rest, for two seconds Lily."

Lane pulled her hair into a faux ponytail with one hand and waved the other at her neck. It was only eleven, but the day had grown rather warm. "Cass, you give it a rest. You know good and well Lily will talk to us the day after tomorrow, just as she's told us she would all along."

Lily grinned at Lane, "Thank you. It's good to know someone understands."

Lane snorted, "Oh, I understand. That doesn't mean I think it's right to ditch your best mates for weeks because of an exam though.

Lily frowned, "But they're important—," Cassandra clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Yes, we know Lily, and we expect this same estrangement come N.E.W.T.S. in Seventh Year. But right now," Cass plucked the notes out of Lily's hands, "take a break. In fact, let's not talk about magic at all."

"Yes," Lane said, a small smile growing on her glossed lips, and a glint of mischief in her eyes. "Let's talk about boys."

Lily groaned, "More about John? Honestly Lane, I love you and I mean this with the utmost sympathy—," Cassandra cut her off, "We don't care." She pushed her black bangs out of her eyes.

Lily's eyes widened and she lightly shoved Cass, then looked at Lane, "Well… yes… but in a much nicer way."

"It's just…Lily and I care because you're like a sister, and we want you to be happy. Only, we're both completely and utterly alone and that tends to put a damper on hearing about your gorgeous, sweet, and perfect boyfriend.

Lane sighed and said, "Fine, I won't mention John. Besides, I was referring to a certain tousle headed Gryffindor playing games with a snitch up the hill.

Cassandra laughed, "Oh yes, Mr. James-so-hot-you-could-melt-with-one-look-Potter."

Lily frowned, "It is exactly that kind of flattery that has caused him to be a stubborn, arrogant, pigheaded, bloody egotist who deserves—,"

"Chill, Lils. We understand that you have a thin against him. Though he's never exactly done anything to you."

"Well he's done plenty to other people." Lily spat. She crossed her arms with a small huff and looked out across the lake. After her friends didn't say anything, she turned to change the subject.

Both Cassandra and Lane were looking up the hill at something. She turned. James Potter and Sirius Black were standing, wands out, over one Severus Snape who was spouting pink soap bubbles.

Lily's face went pink. "This!" she said, she looked at Cassandra and gestured up the hill, "This is exactly what I was saying! This blatant disregard for everything and everyone but himself."

With that she stood up, dusted off her skirt and pulled out her wand. Cassandra groaned. "You're not going to get your knicker in a twist over Severus Snape again are you."

Lane wrinkled up her nose, "He's never been particularly nice to anyone Lils, and you know he's starting to practice the dark arts."

Lily's face went stony. She knew Severus, who's family lived a few blocks from the local park of her neighborhood in London, had gotten himself in with the wrong crowd. But that was beside the point, he'd been her first friend at Hogwarts, and she wasn't going to let James Toerag Potter beat him up.

"Leave him ALONE!" She called out, striding up the hill with purpose.

James Potter turned towards her, wand still pointed at Snape. "All right, Evans?" he asked with a tone of charm and niceties Lily believed entirely inappropriate for the time…or ever.

"Leave him alone," she told him levelly, "What's he done to you?"

"Well," James said, conversationally, "it's more the fact that he exists if you know what I mean…" the group that had gathered to watch Snape's pummeling laughed.

Lily sighed, feeling that now familiar sense of hurt and anger well up inside. "You think you're funny. But you're just an arrogant, bullying, toerag Potter. Leave him alone." Sev was now bobbing along upside down in time with James's wand.

"I will if you go out with me Evans," James responded. "Go on… go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Lily felt that swimming sickness at his words. She ignored it. "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid."

"Bad luck Prongs," Sirius said.

James gave him a look. 'More like "no luck"' Lily thought.

A flash of light from behind appeared, zooming towards James. Sev had found his wand again. A gash rent across James's cheek. Within moments he was hanging upside down—underpants in the air.

Lily's eyes widened in surprise, where had Severus learned such a dangerous curse.

Other students were beginning to start a chant of "Snivellus, Snivells!"

Lily bit her lip, knowing how much Sev hated that nickname. "Let him down," she yelled at James.

"Certainly," James replied. Snape fell to the ground. Almost as soon as he was back on his feet, Sirius yelled out "Locormotor mortis!" and he was down again.

'Black!' Lily thought furiously, 'almost as bad as Potter.' "LEAVE HIM ALONE." She pulled out her wand, brandishing it towards the two. Sirius' eyebrows shot up. James sighed.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you."

"Take the curse off him, then."

James looked at Snape, then at Lily's wand. He muttered the counter curse—signira mortum. "There you go," he told her, then turned to Sev, in full gloat mode, "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus."

Lily had walked over to help him up.

"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her." Snape was red faced, clumps of greasy hair falling to his shoulders as he regained his breath. James's eyes popped with anger.

Lily tried to stay calm, though she felt tears spring to life in her eyes. He had finally done it. She'd heard rumors about the things he and other Slytherins said and did to muggle borns like herself but he'd never crossed the line like this before. "Fine, I won't bother in the future," she told him, her voice cold.

She couldn't help but say one more thing to make him understand just how much he'd hurt her. "And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus." She put down her wand, ready to leave. Severus's eyes were no longer angry, and they seemed hurt, alone, and lost. Tey made her feel guilty, and she turned away from him, wishing she'd left in silence.

James, however, was just getting started. "Apologize to Evans!"

'Merlin' Lily thought inwardly cursing Potter, "I don't want you to make him apologize. You're as bad as he is." Lily swallowed a lump in her throat at calling Sev as bad at Potter. But he is, if he can call you a mudblood without a second though, a voice inside her mind whispered.

He was incredulous. Anger and something like hurt compounded in his hazel eyes. "What? I'd never call you a- you- know-what!"

Lily felt anger spring to life. She alrady had reasons for hating Potter, and now she had to put up a wall against Severus too. It was all too much and she felt like exploding.

She brandished her wand at him again. "Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can—I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." She took a breath after her tirade, feeling drained and relatively as sick as she'd just claimed. She turned around and walked away ignoring Potter's calls after her. And the fact that her oldest friend, who knew most of her secrets was now no longer her friend. And the fact that Cass still had her Transfiguration notes. What she really needed, she thought, pushing her red hair back behind her shoulders, was some place far away from magic, and Potter, and Sev. Anywhere but here.