Yes
it's another song-fic. The song is
called "Existence." It was written by Kevin Max. It's a very cool song.
Disney owns the characters and show.
You come into the threshold
Of another starless night of fear
You're running from the demons
That would drag you down again
Illusions of the world are spinning
Out of time and frame and synchronicity
I should have stopped you from the
start. Told you that was wrong and I
won't stand for it. I would of created
a reason for my actions. Any excuse
from allowing you to go on. I had to be
the good mother and let you do as you wished.
Fighting an endless battle with myself in pretending everything would be
fine. It wasn't though. Every step you took closer to whatever you
were searching for the more dangerous it became. I could barely stand it!
You don't realize but I know more of this other world and the secrets it
holds than I allow you to know. Every
day, every new mystery solved or left open leaves a mark on your soul. Why didn't I stop it?
You're so sad, you're such a sad-eyed girl
You're so sad, in your sub-plot
Out of my life I allowed you to go. Still playing innocent when it comes to your
world I acted upset. Begged and
repeatedly asked you if you were sure?
All ready knowing you were and wanted it to be like this. I would miss you deeply, but your safe
coming is all that really matters. I
watch you looking for things and more importantly him. So much sadness and anger towards forces and
circumstances no one could control. You
wanted to create a land of your own, in your head and on that computer. Life can't be lived like that. Perhaps with my sister away from the
pictures and conversation you'll enter our world and let the other one go.
What is this, what is this
This mess of my existence is
All these politics of life and death and relevance
It's my existence
I want what you have. To able myself to see things others are
blinded to. But I allow the fear to eat
at me. Scared of becoming like him,
scared of what's there. Living in a
world of reality might not suit you, it works for me. At times. Still I wish I drop the thoughts of this is wrong and
enter a world I only dream of. I can't
help who I am. Like he and you can't
help being the people you were shaped into to.
Do you know my child? The dreams
and desires I held for you? That I
slowly watched flood away as you walked his footsteps and not mine.
Another
morning
It
comes running up your bedpost with the wind
You
face yourself just like you always do
Time
and time again
The
mortal coil of image
Inner
peace and satisfaction
Still if your happy I can try that
too. Nothing can hurt you now. Everything will become normal for us all,
life will move on. I wake with
nightmares involving you. The deep
hidden fears always haunt me at night.
Even with you gone I still have them.
They will never fade away. How
can you walk around acting like the person you were before is now vanished from
life? I should be happy that like you
said all that other stuff is gone. It's
not that easy. He tried a few times to
leave it behind but it always found him again.
Or he decided the danger would be worth the glory in the end. Never able to touch the glory, it got him
long before then. I don't want it to take
you too. I fear it will though. I should have acted up sooner.
And so you keep it on the down-low
Hiding all the secrets that are down below
And so you keep it on the down-low
Tell me baby was it worth it all
Warnings had surround you. Still you just had to dig further. Burry yourself inside that grave not even
noticing that you were. Life is one big
mystery not meant be solved. At least
not by a mortal being. You say in
Seattle you will stop, that chapter ended in your life. No.
Perhaps for a while that will hold true. Soon though you'll hear or something that will start the fire
inside. I tried to smoother the flame,
it didn't work. I want to blame someone
but there is no one. Does the fault lie
on him? You? Or completely in myself? I
just hope in the end everything will prove itself out.
What is this, what is this
This mess of my existence is
All these politics of life and death and relevance
It's my existence
I try to live normally without you. I put on a good act, sometimes I fear a bit
to good. Yet I rather have you alive
and away. Then here walking on a thin
line of life and death. Years ago I
didn't understand it all, now I do.
Well in some degrees. I
shouldn't get upset that you found something you loved. I should be angry at the thing you love for
trying to hurt you. Just like it hurt
him. Everything comes full circle. I just hope the ending spot will be written
with a happily ever after. In my life,
the loses and broken promises I have learned to ready myself for endings with a
tear soaked page.
Oh just take it all, make it work
And make some sense
Just take it
all, you're my existence
You're my existence
I love to hear your voice. To let you know I love you now and
forever. I trust you. To make the right decisions and to know what
is right and work. Yet I trusted him
and look how that turned out. I refuse
to live in fear, at least not anymore.
You're a smart girl, along with a head for the out there is some logical
senses hidden along side of it. You take
after me in that way. All I can hope is
you'll allow yourself to hear it. And
never open the door to the other side again.
I couldn't bear to lose you. If
I do I'll find the mysteries and the creatures I can't completely understand
and make them die. I let it pass once,
twice will not be allowed. But I hope
that day never comes.
