Disclaimer: If they were mine, Teal'c would be teaching me the finer points of Kel'no'reem, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).
Notes: A long, long time ago, I asked for open prompts so I could use them as a writing exercise. katcorvi prompted "Teal'c (in early seasons) lost at Wal-mart or Cost-co." And this isn't quite that, but this is where the muse led me. Mea culpa.

Teal'c crouched low, his body tense and alert for the coming onslaught. He saw a man about 700 feet away carrying something. Were they…? Yes. With so many of them to be placed at market, surely he could procure one of them this time. Planning his retrieval path, he studied his surroundings.

The marketplace was crowded, and Teal'c knew that failure to time his movements correctly could make him lose his prize. He had witnessed the frenzy twice before where men and women swarmed the man dressed in blue ceremonial garb, laying waste to everything in their path. He witnessed brutal acts by seemingly normal people, the type of rage that only something very valuable could produce.

Teal'c wished he had his staff weapon with him, but to bring such a weapon into this environment was to invite more panic than the day had already seen. And he could not afford to lose this time – O'Neill and the rest of his team were depending on him to bring their plan to fruition. He turned his attention back to the man in blue.

Almost there. He looked around and took stock of his competition. He felt his body course with adrenaline. Sweat beaded his brow as the pressure of the moment pushed his senses to the limit.

And… now. Teal'c strode forward, mere seconds before the man reached the location. A shout went up in the marketplace crowd and people surged forward and around him. He reached forward and fumbled one of the items with his fingertips. No purchase. Taking a blunt hit as someone was shoved into his back, he twisted for better reach and managed to clamp his large hands around one of the items. He pulled it towards him and tucked it underneath his body.

"He has one!" He heard the cry go up as he sprinted away. A handful of people followed him after they realized they would be forced to remain for the next competition. Teal'c easily outran them and then stopped for a few minutes to savor his victory.

Teal'c opened the door to O'Neill's truck. "You got one? You got an iPhone?" said Jack. Teal'c handed O'Neill the bag and his change and nodded solemnly.

"Sweet," said Jack. "But what took you so long?"

"O'Neill," he said. "I do not understand this ritual you call Black Friday."

"Neither do I, Teal'c. Neither do I." As O'Neill drove out of the parking lot, Teal'c looked up once more at the Wal-Mart sign.