Selective
Summary: I always see that look in her eyes, it made me feel like I belonged here, but how come my chest hurts every time she smiles at someone else?

When I was younger, I found it hard to interact with people. I would always stay in some corner of the room or go outside and take a long walk. Taking long walks helped me think things through, and it'd usually take an hour or so for me to cool off. After about seven times I took my usual walk, my parents stopped caring because they knew that they couldn't get through to me. So when it was time for my daily walk, I got into an accident.

When I didn't return home after the hour, my parents started to worry. They called the police to look for me, but were informed that I got into an accident. There was this guy who was completely drunk and he began picking a fight with me. After many times of trying to avoid the altercation, the guy took me by surprise and shoved me into the street. I tried to grasp my balance, but before I knew it a bus came my way and well…

Everything turned black.

I can't even tell you if it was painful or not because everything just fell apart for me.

Soon after, I was hospitalized and I sat on my bed without a single thought in my head. The doctor said that my body was trying to protect me by making me forget about the accident. However, I just didn't care; maybe this was what I've been wishing for with every birthday wish I've been given.

Every year, I'd always stare longingly at the flames since they had a purpose and had always been able to complete that purpose. They were lit carefully on the thing, wax candles and I blew them away with a single wish in my head:

"A drastic change in my life."

I was always that shy kid in class, never wanting to be in someone's way and always kept to myself. I was the one who always got pushed around, always being treated as someone's gopher, and was the scapegoat of everyone's problem. I was never really liked at my school or in my neighborhood in general because of the way I looked and acted.

My parents would always make sure to welcome me back as warmly as possible and pampered me to no end. I love my parents, I really do, but it's not like they'll always be by my side to give me comfort when I get older. It was also because they would work late at night and they try so hard to wake up each morning to greet me and let me off to school.

My mom used to try and make me lunch every day, but now that she has to do overtime, I was barely getting the usual plethora of food. My dad would give me lunch money for it, but since he got promoted he's been called away on duty so we don't even have our usual father-son weekends anymore. For the past two years, they were barely home at all and so they had to hire a sitter in order to watch me. The sitter never liked me and would tell me to stay in my room or go out of the house so she didn't have to deal with me. It was fine, I never liked her either.

So after the accident, my parents decided to change their routine and unofficially told me that we were moving. In truth, I was ecstatic with the idea, but I didn't show it. My mom talked to me nonstop during my first day in the hospital, deciding that staying with her baby was more important than working. My dad kept in touch by calling me on the phone during his work and tried to stall as long as possible before his meetings. When my parents couldn't come, they'd send flowers as apologies and write really gushy cards that'd make me laugh most of the time.

The other times…

The others time, well, the cards made me cry myself to sleep.

Unlike them, the ones who had nothing at first but became successful through hard and perseverance, I was never strong. They were tough, never letting get them down and there were many times they told me that it was me who kept them going. I felt happy, brimming with joy when they told me that, but I couldn't even bring myself to become like them. To become the type of person who would have that natural courage coursing through their veins. It felt like I was a burden to them because I couldn't hold down a part time job before the accident.

It wasn't because I wasn't capable; it was more like because I was treated as trash and was harassed by some of my co-workers; just like in school I was the scapegoat.

My parents told me not to worry about money since they can provide more than enough for me, but I found it unfair. I wanted to work harder in order to show them my gratitude, but I didn't think they understood my actions. They never did.

"Aren't you excited?" Mom asked while unpacking the last of our stuff in our vacant house. It was spacious, nice and had stories instead of our old house. "This is a much nicer house than our last one, and this time we live in an environmentally friendly neighborhood." She continued while taking out the clothes and began to refold them on the wooden floor boards.

Mom knew about the issues I had in our old neighborhood, and even though I could sense that she was resentful of how I've been treated, she wasn't able to do a thing. No one would believe that I was the victim and I had only myself to blame for being targeted.

"The kitchen is splendidly made as well! I could make your lunches so easily now!" She boasted with a hearty tone and I couldn't help but faintly smile at that. That was so like her. She always found something to say and compliment that would relate to nurturing me.

"I…I'm going to check my room…" I informed weakly, unable to grasp the same happiness she was radiating. She turned around and flashed me a smile, as if sending me some sort of cheer behind her action. I tried to return one of more successful smiles back to her, but it was hopeless.

"Don't overexert yourself," Mom beamed at me softly before resuming her unpacking and refolding. I stood there for a moment and nodded, there weren't any words I could tie together to form a sentence. So I began to take one small step back then suddenly broke into a run up the wooden stair case.

Stupid mom…

It's you who should overexert yourself!

I ran through the halls and found that there were four bedrooms with a bathroom just at the end of the hall. The biggest room was of course going to belong to my parents so which of the three rooms left should I choose? I inspected all of them and two out of the three rooms were the same size, the one that was rivaling in size with my parent's room was the one that was further away. I guess that room is for the eldest child?

While I was walking towards it, my dad just stepped out of the bathroom and stretched out his arms. "Ah! Are you ready to choose your room?" He asked with that goofy grin of his. I nodded and he told me to take him to the one I chose. When I did, he said that there was going to be a lot of work needed to be done.

I told him not to trouble himself, but him being the loveable, big guy he was said it wasn't a problem and told me to relax. I had school in a few days there I wasn't allowed to help in recreating a living area for all three of us. Again, I was in the zone of their pampering and I had nothing to give back to them.

For some reason, it felt like everything disappeared around me and I was left in a sea of darkness with a single spot light hitting me from above. This was my comfort zone. The place I wanted to leave, but somehow, feared moving from it. I guess my feet planted themselves into the soil of my comfort zone and they didn't want to be blown by the harsh reality outside of it.

The spotlight never moved from me and it was the only source of light here. My only companion who understood everything was my shadow and even it pitied my superstition of embarking on a mission to jump from this sole spotlight to a world of light. Was I that pitiful? Am I so pitiful that I view myself as a pathetic being?

"I-I'm going to take a walk!" I yelled and began to sprint down the stairs, not caring for anything at the moment. The spotlight was still shining down at me and I wanted to make it leave. I wanted it to vanish from me forever! When I jumped down from the last steps, I feverishly slipped on my shows, grabbed the jacket I dropped on the floor and slapped my hand on the door knob. I needed to go on a walk. I needed my hour.

"H-Hey! You can't go on your walk! You'll get lost!" I heard my mom and dad cry out as they tried to run for me, but it was too late, I smacked open the door and sped anywhere my feet could take me. Going on all of those walks, helped give me the stamina and strength my parents lacked. It was another thing that made me different from them. I didn't want to be different from them!

I always felt like I was some sort of alien at family-get-togethers because of how differently I act and react when I mingle with my family members. My relatives try not to show it, but I know that they don't enjoy being in my presence and try to sugar coat it by giving me compliments of my academics and athletics. If it weren't for school, they'd probably look down on me because I had no social life.

They…

My relatives never loved me as a regular human being.

They saved face by being completely nice to me and I even overheard them bad mouthing me while my parents were elsewhere talking up a storm.

I wished every night that I could be like my parents.

That was before the bus incident and I wished that incident would've taken my life.

I stopped and found myself hunching over and breathing in and out cold breaths of air. It was freezing out here! I looked around and I found myself already into a bustling part of the town. Everyone was wearing overstuffed winter coats or sweaters and other wear that would be logical to wear during this cold season. Logical, huh? I was anything but that.

I let my emotions get the best of me again and my mind demanded that I take a walk to cool off so I don't take it out on my parents. Even though my mind was in a tangle webbed mess, my body was quickly losing its heat. I hugged myself since this jacket didn't have the material for the winter cold. It's the jacket I wore under my usual winter coat and I feel like such an idiot for not thinking things through.

Stupid.

I'm so stupid.

It was already dark before I knew it and I felt hot tears sliding down my face. I'm such a piece of trash; my parents don't deserve someone like me! I'm just a spoiled brat who can't do a thing to help his own parents where as they've down everything in their power to make me happy. I don't even know why they care so much. I'm just a worthless pile of flesh!

The spotlight was still shining on me and it felt so cold. The winter air was swiveling around me like some sort of invisible blanket. The air whirled around me again and I shivered harshly even though the hot tears felt like there were going to freeze my face.

"Haku! I told you to not walk out without proper clothing!"

A hand grabbed my shoulder and forced me to turn around, I was still a heap of tears and I can tell that my face was probably distorted into some sort of nervous wreck. But who was this kid? She called me Haku and had the face of mother beginning her scolding hour. Then when she realized it was me, her expression changed from a surprised one to a regretful one then to a sincere one…all of those expressions from just second of looking at me.

It was a strange feeling.

"Oh goodness! I'm so sorry!" The girl cried out and she began waving her hands frantically in the shivering air. I quickly tried to wipe away my endless tears with my sleeves, but it was to no avail. I just couldn't stop crying.

The girl probably figured this out, or was impulsive by nature, so she grabbed my arms and calmed down my frantic body language. Her big, innocent looking eyes stared daggers into mine with her lips pursed so tightly, it was as though she ironed them on there. Then she shoveled her hand into her pocket and sheepishly gave me a laugh. When she took out her hand, it was gloved with a teal colored fabric and then she grabbed her blue scarf and used it to wipe away my tears. For some reason, it worked instead of the sleeves of my jacket that I used.

"It's not good… to cry in a strange place," She informed giving me a kind smile that made my heart skip three beats. She reminded me of my mom when I looked through the family albums when I was younger. Mom was so beautiful with her long white hair and graceful smile. Even though she looked pale and fragile, I considered her one of the strongest people alive. "A-Are you okay? You're crying again!" Even though I heard her, I couldn't help, but feel the tears returning into my eyes and flowing down my face.

"W-What?" I stammered while touching my face, only to have my hand swatted from it. She resumed drying them away with her scarf and I could see the places where it got stained.

"I'm sorry for mistaking you for someone else, but it was the color of your hair that gave it away, though…" The girl began to trail with her face gaining a light shade of pink. "I guess I should've known it wasn't my friend since you didn't have long hair." I was baffled; wouldn't it be obvious that I don't long hair? Was she blind or something? "I forgot to bring my glasses with me, I'm sorry!" She cried out while slapping her hands together and bowing in apology.

I took a step back, taken aback from the reaction and apology. There was so much raw emotion from that simple action and it unparalleled my parents' endless adoration for me. When she pulled her head up, she tilted it and shot me a simple beam of confusion. Then she resumed her previous posture and walked over to me once more with her hand slowly going in the air.

"Is something bothering you?" The girl asked and I took another step back when she got closer. She furrowed her eye brows and puffed her cheeks before quickening her pace towards me. Then she jabbed her index finger at my chest and lifted her face up to mine. She was shorter than me, so I guess she had to look up to talk to me with such fierce eyes. "It's not good to bottle things up, y'know." Her innocent demeanor suddenly changed and it terrified me.

"I-I…" I began to stutter then I turned my head and wanted the fluster on my face to disappear. This was one of those rare moments that I put my guard down and let someone approach my comfort zone. She was under the spotlight with me and everything else began to vanish and fade into darkness. "I don't need to tell a stranger my problems!" I managed to yell out and I took a peek at looking down at her.

I expected her to slap me or at least give me some sort of pissed off emotion, but she didn't. She just tilted her head and beamed me a smile that made my heart skip yet another three beats. It felt like I was going to have a heart attack because of this girl.

"So you won't talk to a stranger, eh?" She paused and flashed me a charming smile that made my face heat up despite the frost air. "My name's Hatsune Miku, I'm a third year in high school and currently holding down a part time job at a café as a performer." Her smile seemed to be plastered on her lips, and her eyes glimmered like the stars in the sky. I noticed that she put in a raw emotion when she said the word 'performer' and must want to fulfill her dream to become a famous one.

"I-I…"

"Hey now! I'm not a stranger anymore, so now you can tell your problems to me!" Miku persisted with a shine in her teal eyes as she bawled her hands into fists and gave me a determined look. Was she the type who likes to get involved in everyone's problems and try to be the one who solves everyone? She must be the overachiever type. The one who always tries to give it over one hundred percent and would plan how to get on top of things when beaten down; such an easy analysis from this kind of girl.

She's not ever putting her guard up to a stranger like me.

When I looked into her eyes again, it felt like she was out of my comfort zone and in an entirely new spotlight. The light looked so dazzling around her with her charming smile bringing an angelic atmosphere around her. My body just began to react and I lifted my right arm, trying to reach for her, only to have it grabbed by hers and having the sensation of heat wrapped around it. I didn't realize it, but apparently my hands were frozen and lacked the pair of gloves I probably threw on the floor near the box of clothes.

The tears came back and the Miku girl with her twin aqua colored pony tails grew alarmed due to my abrupt sobbing. She was spouting out some sort of web of comforting words with a worrying tone, but I barely heard a word from her because I felt so happy. I didn't know why, but I just was. The tears felt great as they slid down my cheeks and then down to the concrete ground and when I my head was lowered with a smile on my face, I found small particles of fluff falling too.

Snow.

I raised my head up to find a mystified look on Miku's when she saw the snow beginning to fall and then turned to face me.

"Despite the problems you have… I'll be the first to say Merry Christmas." She flashed me that attractive smile and her misty looking eyes as the snowflakes fell upon her. I didn't know what came over me, but I reached out to her and hugged her. I didn't want her spotlight to be so far away from mine. Hers was so much warmer, more inviting and it was so brilliantly bright compared to my dull, cold one. It was as though her light was the silver lining in my cloudy life and I couldn't help but grasp it so that I could have a taste in the experience.

She didn't bother to fight back; instead she just stood there, completely still. When was I going to let go? If I were given the choice to let go, then I would choose never, I felt so secure.

"What's your name, Stranger-san?" Miku whispered and I felt her warm breath tickle my ear. I felt my face heat up by the temperature.

"…U-Utatane… Piko."

"Merry Christmas, Piko-kun."

Ah I promised to put up a Miku x Len fic, but when I discovered Piko, I was like "He's...so...cute!" I'm such a sucker for frail looking characters w No joke, that's why I liked Len (though people made him tsundere, so I liked him even more) Anyway, I was gonna make Piko all distant and stuff in this chapter, but then the idea just faded away, so I'll probably do that next chapter.

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!

~Ventus