How thin can you get? How far will you go? Will you feel the shame when they finally know? Would you lose yourself and just let go, will the ache go and leave you so you can sleep? Does it ever end will it ever stop?
You say your fine and watch them eat and try and stop the guilty want. Three more pounds and then I'll stop, but still you sit and only watch. You smile like it's okay, but still pray every day- a little less, a little more and soon the pounds will hit the floor.
A little more a little less don't they see you're a mess? No more, no more you can't go on, but can't stay like this anymore. They smile like they don't know and you laugh like you don't know that they know, but they do- they just want you to stay ugly so you leave them behind or at least you try. Can't you do anything right?
A tiny bite will be enough, no it won't you've had enough maybe you'll be enough maybe one day worthwhile. You hate the plastered smiles that hide away the ugly bright pain, help me, save me, and just don't let me be ugly!
156, 143, 128, 90, not enough never enough. A little less a little more and maybe that hospital door will be enough. A little less a little more as your body hits the floor and your heart beats like a bird in its cage.
A little less a little more as you died there on the floor.
Tress: I hope you understand it's not something you can stop you can try, but it stays. If anyone is suffering through this or knows someone going through this help them you don't know how much they need it.