Title: Moo
Author: Meret
Category: Humor
Rating: PG
Email: meret118@netscape.net
Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/meretsv/
Disclaimer: These characters are owned by Millar Gough
and the WB. No profit is intended.
This was originally intended as a thank you to Beth for her
outrageously funny Expectations series. She not only graciously
suggested I post it, but provided a helpful suggestion as well. If
you haven't read Expectations yet, run and do so now. It's
hilarious; plus this won't make much sense otherwise. Here's the
link for Expectations:
http://www.wolverineandrogue.com/thecodex/smallville/clexfic.html
Moo
by Meret
"While Jonathan looked bereft without his cows, everyone else seemed
excited about the day to come." Expectations #8 by Beth
Martha looked out at the view from their room as she put
her watch on, getting ready for breakfast. "You should have
gone walking with me this morning, Jonathan. The sunrise
was breathtaking."
"My cows would have liked the sunrise."
She glanced at him sitting morosely on the bed as she
walked to the dresser. He was staring at the rich carpeting,
waiting for her to finish getting ready. She tried again. "The
flowers Lex has in the room are lovely. I'll have to
remember to ask him what kind they are."
"My cows would have liked the flowers. I bet they'd taste
good."
Frowning slightly, she gave her hair one last pat in front of
the mirror before going over to him. He'd been like this
ever since they left Kansas. Martha stood between his legs
and put her arms around him, tipping his head up for a kiss.
She nibbled on that spot behind his ear, hoping to distract
him. "We're both rested now, and this place is so romantic.
It would be a shame to waste it. How 'bout you and I go
skinny-dipping tonight, and then see how strong this bed
is? "
"Yeah, my cows would like it if I got roman--"
"JONATHAN!"
"What?" He looked up bemused. "What'd I say?"
She backed up and put her hands on her hips, looking
intimidating in the way only a redhead can. "Jonathan
Sylvester Kent, this is going to stop right now!"
"What'd I do?" he said, his voice squeaking slightly. Martha
rarely got mad, but he'd learned a long time ago to be
careful when she did.
"I know you hate the fact Clark loves Lex. I know you're
uncomfortable with the fact Clark loves any *man* at all,
but this is ridiculous. They already have one child, and are
expecting three more. You have to accept it."
"We could help Clark raise the children without Lex. And
it's not ridiculous! It's not natural--"
"It's a lot more natural than you saying you want to get
romantic with the cows!"
Jonathan gaped at her in shock. "I did not!"
"Yes you did, not one minute ago." She sighed. She didn't
want to fight with him today of all days. Stroking his
shoulder, she softly combed her other hand through his
graying hair. "Honey, you have to accept him. It's past
time."
He hugged her, muttering something into her chest.
"What?"
"I said," looking up at her, "this is all Lex's fault."
"ARRRGH!" She pushed him back flat on the bed and
stalked to the door. "Join us when you come to your senses.
I'll send food so you don't starve." The door shut behind her
with a soft 'bang.'
Jonathan closed his eyes and shook his head back and forth
slowly. "Aaaaalll Lex's fault." His cows would have
understood that.
End
Author's Note: I have no idea what Jonathan's middle name
really is.
Author: Meret
Category: Humor
Rating: PG
Email: meret118@netscape.net
Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/meretsv/
Disclaimer: These characters are owned by Millar Gough
and the WB. No profit is intended.
This was originally intended as a thank you to Beth for her
outrageously funny Expectations series. She not only graciously
suggested I post it, but provided a helpful suggestion as well. If
you haven't read Expectations yet, run and do so now. It's
hilarious; plus this won't make much sense otherwise. Here's the
link for Expectations:
http://www.wolverineandrogue.com/thecodex/smallville/clexfic.html
Moo
by Meret
"While Jonathan looked bereft without his cows, everyone else seemed
excited about the day to come." Expectations #8 by Beth
Martha looked out at the view from their room as she put
her watch on, getting ready for breakfast. "You should have
gone walking with me this morning, Jonathan. The sunrise
was breathtaking."
"My cows would have liked the sunrise."
She glanced at him sitting morosely on the bed as she
walked to the dresser. He was staring at the rich carpeting,
waiting for her to finish getting ready. She tried again. "The
flowers Lex has in the room are lovely. I'll have to
remember to ask him what kind they are."
"My cows would have liked the flowers. I bet they'd taste
good."
Frowning slightly, she gave her hair one last pat in front of
the mirror before going over to him. He'd been like this
ever since they left Kansas. Martha stood between his legs
and put her arms around him, tipping his head up for a kiss.
She nibbled on that spot behind his ear, hoping to distract
him. "We're both rested now, and this place is so romantic.
It would be a shame to waste it. How 'bout you and I go
skinny-dipping tonight, and then see how strong this bed
is? "
"Yeah, my cows would like it if I got roman--"
"JONATHAN!"
"What?" He looked up bemused. "What'd I say?"
She backed up and put her hands on her hips, looking
intimidating in the way only a redhead can. "Jonathan
Sylvester Kent, this is going to stop right now!"
"What'd I do?" he said, his voice squeaking slightly. Martha
rarely got mad, but he'd learned a long time ago to be
careful when she did.
"I know you hate the fact Clark loves Lex. I know you're
uncomfortable with the fact Clark loves any *man* at all,
but this is ridiculous. They already have one child, and are
expecting three more. You have to accept it."
"We could help Clark raise the children without Lex. And
it's not ridiculous! It's not natural--"
"It's a lot more natural than you saying you want to get
romantic with the cows!"
Jonathan gaped at her in shock. "I did not!"
"Yes you did, not one minute ago." She sighed. She didn't
want to fight with him today of all days. Stroking his
shoulder, she softly combed her other hand through his
graying hair. "Honey, you have to accept him. It's past
time."
He hugged her, muttering something into her chest.
"What?"
"I said," looking up at her, "this is all Lex's fault."
"ARRRGH!" She pushed him back flat on the bed and
stalked to the door. "Join us when you come to your senses.
I'll send food so you don't starve." The door shut behind her
with a soft 'bang.'
Jonathan closed his eyes and shook his head back and forth
slowly. "Aaaaalll Lex's fault." His cows would have
understood that.
End
Author's Note: I have no idea what Jonathan's middle name
really is.