First you wanna go to the left and you want to turn right
Wanna argue all day, make love all night
First you up then you're down and then between
Oh, I really want to know...
What do you mean?
Naruto is. Naruto is Naruto is Naruto is.
Confused.
Naruto is confused.
There's a man in his apartment, with a blue shirt on and duck butt hair sticking out behind him, and sleeping on his couch.
Why is there a duck butt on his couch?
Admittedly, yes the man is very attractive. No, Naruto is not going to delve any further into his attraction to a stranger that apparently broke into his apartment just to sleep on his couch.
Naruto stares.
Honestly, he doesn't really know what to do.
What does one do when faced with the dilemma of an attractive stranger sleeping on their couch?
He pokes his foot, which, okay, probably not the best approach.
The man's nose twitches, eyes scrunching slightly, but then his face smooth's once again.
So that didn't work.
Well, he could always call Granny—she would kick a duck butt's ass for him any day, he likes to think.
Naruto let's out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, running a hand over the back of his neck and edging his way around the couch and towards the kitchen. He may as well eat while he pans out his next move.
He sticks a noodle cup in the microwave and waits. It pings and he goes to sit at his table, slurping the food up in record time. He gets up, throws his cup out, and goes into the living room to see—
Duck butt is gone.
Poof.
Disappeared.
Gone.
Naruto sits.
Naruto is tired when he get's home from work.
He just hopes he has enough energy to make it to his bed and plop down face first to sleep.
He walks through his living room, throws his bag on the kitchen table on the way, kicks off his shoes, and crawls into bed to get comfortable on with his face stuffed into his favorite pillow.
He gets up.
Crawls out of bed.
Goes back to the living room.
Because—duck butt.
On his couch.
Again.
What—?
He rubs his eyes viciously a few times, making sure he's not dreaming. The man's face is turned away from him this time, stuck into the crevice of the couch like it's the comfiest thing in the world.
Naruto pokes him like the first time, except in his shoulder this time. Duck butt let's out a gusty sigh that's almost —dare he say it – cute.
Naruto thinks the strange man – that has now broken into his apartment twice to sleep on his couch – is cute.
He decides it's too late to deal with this and goes back to bed.
Duck butt is gone when he wakes up.
Naruto falls asleep in his love seat, and duck butt is there when he wakes up.
He jumps, curses in his surprise, and duck butt doesn't even stir. He just let's out a small snore that Naruto diligently ignores the cuteness of to the best of his abilities, and shifts to settle further into the upholstery.
What even?
He knows, in the back of his mind, that he should do something about this, but what? He's never been in the situation of having a stranger break in to his house, let alone just to sleep on the couch and disappear before Naruto can question him.
Naruto knows that the obvious answer is to call the police but– he just can't bring himself to.
Maybe it's because duck butt is cute. With his cute snores and his cute hair and Naruto swears he saw his cute toes twitch just a second ago and—
He needs to call the police.
He doesn't.
For the first time since the first time—wow that's not a confusing phrase at all—duck butt is there again when Naruto wakes up in the morning.
He's still snoring like there's no tomorrow, and the face crevice seems to work just as well for him, but there's something different Naruto just can't put his finger on.
Oh, wait.
He's naked.
Duck butt is naked.
Great.
Naruto leaves for work.
At work—which takes place at the Starbucks around the corner though Naruto did go to college and does have a degree, which seems to make no difference when applying to jobs that will actually pay him a wage he can live off of—Naruto approaches Kiba with his dilemma.
Kiba stops making his drink to stare at him, "You left a naked stranger alone in your house who has been breaking in periodically to sleep on your couch?"
"It's sounds really bad when you say it like that," Naruto knows his face is red but he can't really help it.
"You need to call the police, Naruto."
And that's Sakura.
"But—"
"No," that's Kiba.
"Call the police," Sakura again.
"Fine."
Except, when Naruto gets home duck butt isn't there, and he's not in the morning either.
He's not there the next day, either.
Or any day the whole next week.
Naruto blames Sakura.
She scoffs when he tells her this, "If I'm to blame for stopping a naked criminal from breaking into your home, I can't say I'm very sorry."
Naruto is gloomy the rest of his shift and won't talk to her or Kiba.
Duck butt is there when he gets home, but—
He's awake.
And looking at Naruto.
And then he's kissing Naruto.
When he was on the couch he didn't look that big, but when he's backing Naruto into the wall and biting his lip and maneuvering a leg in between both of Naruto's own—
He's pretty tall.
Naruto moans, because what else is he supposed to do?
Duck butt has his hand clutched in Naruto's hair, tilting his head back so he can shove his tongue way way way—
Naruto stops thinking when he feels the leg situated between his own push up, because that's his dick that it's pushing up against and this has never happened and it actually feels really good so he moans again and pushes down himself.
The hand in his hair seems to tighten, and it definitely did because his head's being pulled even further back and there not kissing anymore but that tongue that was just down his throat is now all over his neck. And there's teeth. There's a lot of teeth.
The sound his makes is high and shaky, almost a whine. He doesn't know where to push anymore—onto the leg? Into the mouth?
All he knows is that there's something building in the pit of his stomach and it feels good and bad at the same time. And he keeps making these noises like he's dying even though he's certainly not dying.
His arms are clutching duck butt's shoulders because he needs something the keep him from floating off into space. He needs something to help him not think about the building pressure in his groin and the sucking hot kisses being put on his throat.
He needs to think about anything but the way he whines into the other man's mouth when he brings it up to kiss Naruto again, deep and wet and completely too much.
But then the man is putting Naruto back down on his feet and the blond doesn't like that but before he can protest his hips are slammed back against the wall and his pants yanked down his legs.
And then he—has Naruto's dick in his mouth.
Which, you know, nice.
Naruto's outward reaction is not quite as contained—he gasps and his head thunks back against the wall. He drags in a deep lungful of air and releases it as a throaty moan.
That tongue.
The man's mouth is like a furnace around his dick—a tight wet furnace with a tongue sliding expertly along the underside and playing with his slit on every upstroke.
Naruto decides that this is how he would like to die.
He moans at the loss of heat as the man comes up, looking up at Naruto as he took a hold of his shaft and pulls a firm stroke from base to tip. There's a hunger in his dark eyes, seeming to burn through Naruto to the very core.
And there's something in the back of his mind, nagging at him and more important that even the heavenly feeling of a thumb swiping over the head of his dick and twisting at the base just the way he likes it.
It's a word, he thinks around a gurgled out sound that might be another moan. If only the dark haired man would stop for a moment so he could think—but then Naruto might go crazy from the loss of contact.
And as the tightness in his stomach grows, his thoughts become less—until he's just a shuddering mess, thrusting into the mans grip like the most desperate whore there ever was.
And then—he's coming, and nothing is important. Nothing but the blissful warmth washing through his whole body and the way the mans eyes darken as he stares up at him through dark lashes.
And—Naruto remembers.
Sasuke.
A/N: tbh i just found the first 3 paragraphs of this written in a forgotten document and decided to do something with them. hope you enjoyed :D