"Jasper, who is that?"

My razor-sharp hearing picked up the softly-spoken comment from across the room: it was just one of many such phrases dancing through the air as I stepped into the cafeteria. All male heads, and even some females, had turned to gawp in my direction. Just for once - just for once - I wished I wasn't so mind-blowingly beautiful! I sighed gently, gave a polite smile, and then turned away to get my food. Of course, I didn't normally eat much, since I was never hungry, and I was a vegetarian too, but I couldn't refuse the smile on the lunch lady's face as she passed me a hamburger. Don't worry, Suzi, I told myself gently, maybe you can give it to some younger, less fortunate kid. Forks High School was full of middle-class kids, it seemed; it broke my heart to see them sitting there, wearing cheap knock-off clothes and staring up at me with envy and awe.

What was it that made them stare? Was it my figure (which was mostly perfect - though, to my despair, I wished my chest could be just a little bit smaller)? My hair, sitting in flame-red curls (dyed, of course - I couldn't start a new school with my usual powder-blue ringlets)? My face, as neat and delicate as any porcelain doll's? Or was it simply the aura I exuded - calmness, serenity, warmth? I tossed my hair back, letting it fall in a rippling wave over my exposed chalk-white sheath of a shoulderblade; I wore a low-cut but very tasteful indigo designer shirt that accentuated how thin but busty I was, black skinny jeans and black stilettos, as well as a black jacket patterned with all my favourite bands' logos: MCR, ACDC, MSI, JOJ, FOB and A7x. Sevenfold was, in fact, my last name, and when I sang, everyone said I sounded like a female version of Avenged Sevenfold's lead singer - or maybe a bit like Lady GaGa. In fact, everyone said I looked a bit like Lady GaGa too, except not blonde. Back at The College I had won every singing contest and even done some modelling on the side. Here, though, I had made a promise to myself that I would get by on my brains alone.

I stopped at one of the first tables I came to, where a group of girls were all sitting. Some of them had their hair dyed black and cropped into awesome emo styles; others had decided to go for the scene look, dying their hair pink and either letting it flow long and free or spiking it up.

I smiled. "Hi, can I sit here?"

"Look, we've told you people so many times, this is a private - " the toughest looking emo girl began - but then she turned around, looked me up and down, and her expression changed. "Oh, hey! Sure, you can sit here. You're the new girl, aren't you? Serenity?"

I smiled. My beauty, intrigue, charms and obviously alternative clothing had obviously won me her affections at once. I sat down quickly. "Serenity Xerasuna Cherub Sevenfold," I rhymed off. "My friends call me Suzi, or Sennie. Or sometimes Cherub."

"Oh my God, I love your name!" squealed the most gorgeous scene kid - and then, with a flourish, she turned around to show me that her jacket was embroidered with the same A7x logo as mine! "I'm Scarlettine Forrestleigh. Nice to meet you, Suzi."

"And I'm Rizzo Roads," the tough emo responded, still smiling at me with approval as she waved her hand over the rest of the girls. "Nice to meet you, Sennie. This is Amyl'eigh, Precious, Hermyona, Sharpay, and Frankeigh, Magenta and Columbia - they're triplets."

"Nice to meet you, Cherub!" chanted the three girls she had pointed out. They were identical, apart from their individual hair: Frankeigh had black curls, Magenta had brown ringlets (styled so that they looked very scene and edgy, especially next to the skimpy black rhineston-studded dress and stud collar she was wearing) and Columbia had cropped pink scene hair.

As I looked at the triplets, I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness. However, I smiled. "Nice to meet you all. This is my first day at Forks High..."

"Yeah, we guessed," said Rizzo with a smile.

"How come?"

"Well, if you'd been here more than a day, we would have found you already!" she smiled. "Listen, Serenity. We're the most important clique here at Forks High. We're the Pink And Black Ladies, and we're very exclusive - but we'd like you to join. You're cool enough."

"Wow, really?" I gave a modest smile.

"Yeah, sure!" said Amyl'eigh, smiling. "So, will you join us?"

I paused for a moment - and then I smiled, and nodded. "Yeah! I'd love to!"

"Great." Rizzo smiled. "And y'know how else we knew you were new here, Xerasuna?"

"No, how come?" I had an idea, but I didn't want to say it out loud.

Hermyona giggled, tilting her head to the side to get a better look at how the sun danced on my red ringlets. "Because, Suzi, you would have a boyfriend by now if you'd been here for more than a day!"

I widened my eyes - and then I smiled softly. "Oh, no, I'm not that pretty, really. Not like you guys."

"Of course you are!" Scarlettine said, almost choking on her blood red soft diet drink at my words. "You're so gorgeous, Cherub. Your eyes are such a pretty colour - violet! And your cheekbones are almost cat-like!"

"God, Scarlettine, stop being so gayyy!" Sharpay said, and everyone giggled. I giggled too, but seeing how Scarlettine was blushing, I grinned confidently and leaned across the table towards her.

"Don't worry, Scarlettine. I'm bisexual, you know."

Scarlettine looked surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah! It's so edgy right now." I smiled - then leant closer to her and kissed her quickly on the lips. I pulled back, giggling, and everyone at our table smiled.

"So, have you got a girlfriend already?" Frankeigh asked, obviously turned on by my display.

"Ew!" I retorted. "No. I said I was bi, not a fag!"

Rizzo giggled. "A boyfriend, then?"

For a moment I continued to smile - then I dropped my voice to a whisper, and shook my head. "No, not any more."

Rizzo looked concerned. "Serenity, what's wrong?"

I paused, then sighed softly, and decided to tell them the truth. "I used to go to another school, called The College. It's near Wonderland, and it's for people with...gifts. I went with my twin sister, RoseHope GerardWaiyy Lavender Sevenfold...but she was always less cautious and clever than me. One day I was getting an award for coming top in the school exams, and RoseHope got jealous. She went out to the forbidden lands around our school, and found the Doctor in his TARDIS. She decided that if she did something uber cool, yknow, people would pay attention to her, not me...but she tried to make the TARDIS work herself, and she didn't do it right." I trailed off, looking sad and soulful. "She was killed."

"Oh my God!" Magenta breathed. "I'm so sorry!"

"It was my fault," I continued softly. "If I hadn't been so much better than RoseHope..."

Columbia looked shocked. "So you left the school?"

"Yeah. I felt so guilty. And I had to leave my boyfriend behind."

Rizzo hugged me. "I'm sorry, Suzi. But hey, you're here now! You can start living again at Forks High!"

I smiled. "That's what I've been hoping. I've been so sad lately...I've even cut myself. Y'know, 'cos I've been sad, and also 'cos it's so goddamn edgy and cool to have depression."

Once more, Rizzo smiled. "Oh, I know! And bipolar disorder too! I'm a schizophrenic, actually...and I cut myself awesomely, too. Here - look."

As she released me from her hug, I felt a sudden danger in the air: my intuition knew what was coming, but, just as with RoseHope's death, I was powerless to stop it. I gasped as Rizzo rolled up the sleeve of her leather jacket, exposing rows of (admittedly badass-looking) emo cuts on her alabaster skin, several of which were still bleeding out their soft, perfumed blood - and across the room, one of the figures burst to life, thrusting themself up to Rizzo in a heartbeat.

"No!"

For a moment, I thought it had been me who had screamed - but then I realised it was none other than the vampire Jasper Hale, as he writhed on the floor, cowering from us! I had thrown him backwards with a burst of mental energy, floored him with my impossible strength and was now torturing him from the inside out with the electric mental charge that flowed through my veins.

"Do you hear me, vamp boy?" I shouted, feeling suddenly powerful instead of my usual polite, sweet demeanor. "Nobody hurts my friends and gets away with it. I'm not just Serenity Xerasuna Cherub Sevenfold - I'm Cyrrus Serenity Xerasuna Cherub Sevenfold!"

Jasper widened his eyes, looking at me in shock. "Cyrrus?"

"Yes, Cyrrus! The foretold faerie! Saviour of the humans and vampires alike!" I said. "Now, you'd better leave my friends alone, capishe? Or next time I won't be so kind!"

Jasper scrambled to his feet, and nodded. "S-sorry..." he muttered, then slunk back across the room.

"Wow, Serenity!" Rizzo breathed, obviously still in shock. "You saved me! You're the most selfless, kind, awesome person I've ever met!"

I smiled. "I'm not, really. But you guys are all so awesome - how about you guys all help me in my mission? I can teach you all how to be FaerieVampires too!"

My new friends beamed. The cafeteria had fallen silent. And, across the hall, Edward Cullen was staring at me with a strange sort of longing in his eyes...

Author's Note: Yep, this is a parody fic! I hope you enjoyed the adventures of Miss Sevenfold in Forks; even if you didn't, please review! This might be a one-shot, but if you'd like to hear more then I'm sure I can add some more... So, yeah. No offense meant to anyone; no copyright infringement intended; rock on, all the musicians and bands listed; Mary-Sue writers of the world, keep writing and inspiring our parodies!