Hello hello my dear Malec readers! I am back again with a new project, high school! So I have a few things I wanna say if you wanna read. So in this fic I am featuring a FTM Trans Magnus! This is very exciting and I have written a tiny tiny bit of this before but I wanted to bring it to a bigger picture. I don't know all that much about being trans, I will admit that. I did a lot of reading and I'm trying to imagine how he must feel as much as I can. This being said, if I mess up or say something way wrong PLEASE just let me know and I will fix it. I am not trying to offend anyone. I am very excited to write this fic as a new challenge and project! I am so glad to all of you who read Who You're Meant to Be and I really hope you enjoy this story too!
Eli is once again my beta, and I don't know what I would do without her. She deals with a lot! Haha. Thank you tons!
Happy Reading!
The transitioning from being a child to an adult is a matter of opinion. Does it happen when you leave high school? Does it happen when you lose your innocence and see the world for the rather dark place that it was? Or does it not happen until you get your own home, a job, and seemed to have things together for yourself? Magnus Bane knew people that had experienced all three, and he had concluded that adulthood was a farce. He would never have himself together enough to be considered an adult. His birthday always fell on the first day of school more often than not, and now he was to be considered an adult at eighteen years old. The reality was that he barely had enough money to get by with and he was the same as he was last year, feeling alone in a house full to the brim of the mismatched group he called his family.
He sat up as his alarm blared for the third time and ran his hands over his short, spiky hair, still getting used to the new feel of it. This is the shortest he had had his hair thus far, and it felt so good. It was like something clicked inside of him, another piece he had put back together. He was going back to high school a completely new person, and he was terrified. He just wanted to curl back in bed and do home study like he had last year, but Ragnor had drawn the line at having him be a hermit another year. He had told Magnus that if he wanted to live in this new skin, he had better start now. Magnus knew, undoubtedly, that he was doing the right thing for himself, and that he felt better than he had last year by miles. It was just terrifying to live the reality of it.
"Are you not up yet?" WIll came in his room without so much as a knock or a greeting. He turned the light on without a care to Magnus's vision adjusting. The light blinded him as he squinted to see what Will was after. "My dad is skyping me in about two minutes and I can't find my sunglasses I lended you last weekend."
"Nervous to see the boyfriend?" Magnus teased him since it was most unusual for Will to be so concerned over such a small detail.. In just a few hours he'd be going with Tessa and WIll to the airport to pick up James, their exchange student for the fourth year in a row and Will's boyfriend. He was more or less a permanent student by this time, but they liked to joke he was still on exchange so they could send him back.
"No," Will said it more curtly than necessary as he ran a hand through his black curls. He gave up his search and looked at Magnus with a large grin. "Jem is going to freak when he finally sees you. He's been so excited for you all summer. Get up and looking fabulous."
"I can't actually wear any of that stuff. I was thinking that was more for home and stuff." Magnus brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. He stared past his best friend to the half a closet of glitter and glam he had picked out a few weeks ago. Will's father was very generous with the money he gave Will for back to school shopping and even after spoiling Tessa rotten with everything she so much as glanced at in the store he had plenty left over.
"You're kidding me, right?" WIll abandoned his search in favor of staring at him blankly. "You wanted that stuff. You've looked great all summer. I don't get it."
"I don't know if I want to attract that much attention," Magnus mumbled to his knees. "I already look so different than sophmore year."
"It's going to be okay," Will's hand rested on his shoulder as he assured him. "Nobody is going to care about the old you. You need to be the person you feel is right to be. You have the three of us right by you. Fuck what everyone else thinks, seriously. You're going to be great." Will yanked the blankets back causing Magnus to shiver in the sudden draft. "Get up because we are leaving in a half hour." A jingle sounded from the adjoining bedroom and WIll swore softly as he tore towards his room. "Find my glasses too, birthday boy!"
"Right, today is my birthday." Magnus muttered forgetting for just a moment that today was supposed to be different than the usual mold every day held as he forced himself to get up and tried to stay positive. He had great friends, and he was going to have a senior year better than any movie could play it out. He would get through this with minimal scarring.
He pulled out a black top that had glitter dusting the shoulders and hem. It was one of the milder shirts they had bought, and one that might be alright for the first day. He glanced out at the piercing darkness and sighed at the thought of the long day ahead. They were up in the middle of the night because Jem's plane got in around six thirty so they had just enough time to get his stuff and throw it in WIll's car and get to school in time. It was going to be a hectic first day.
After a hot shower, Magnus felt more like himself as he turned some music on to get ready to for the day. He tried to avoid his gaze in the mirror as he got ready, as he always did. The new look was amazing and it made him feel whole in a way he never had before, but it was a lot to take in. He had done nothing more than take T injections for the last six months, but it was enough to feel like a brand new person. His shoulders had broadened out and his body fat had shifted from his hips and ass to his stomach. He had grown a few inches over the summer and had even grown an adam's apple. He was nigh unrecognizable as the girl he had never wanted to be. His body had changed to fit the image he had always carried and seemed to correct some of what he had felt was wrong since he could remember.
"Happy Birthday!" Tessa Gray's head appeared in the open doorway as Magnus was finishing his hair with a touch of glitter on top. He grinned and firmly turned to face her completely. There was no taking steps back, only forwards.
"Thanks Tessa," Magnus leaned down to kiss her cheek and take the box from her hands. She was dressed as she normally was for school, all conservative colors with a skirt and blouse. She loved wearing skirts everywhere she could, though both Will and Jem thoroughly enjoyed the sight when she chose to wear jeans. She came up to his chin and her brown hair fell to her slim shoulders, though he had no doubt she would have it up in a bun before too long. "You didn't have to get me anything."
"Quit," Tessa smacked his shoulder as she frowned. "You are practically my brother after all this time and of course I'm going to get you a birthday present."
"I'm not really in the birthday spirit," Magnus admitted quietly as he pulled open the box to see the tissue in colors of light pink, baby blue, and white. He smiled and pulled out a new pair of top quality headphones. His last pair had fallen apart completely a month back on their trip to WIll's beach house. They were black and electric blue, a perfect mix for him.
"I know you don't want to face everybody," Tessa said carefully. "You have to trust us that you're going to be fine. You look great, and it must feel better than before?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Magnus said. He eased around the smaller girl and picked up his bag before breezing downstairs. He didn't want to think about all the things that wouldn't be happening this year, and just on the things that would happen. He'd graduate in the spring and finally be away from his confining high school. He'd be able to go out and do whatever he wished. He probably would like to go into fashion design, but would likely settle for something a bit more practical in the end. He could work for a magazine or something to start with.
"Oh, it's the first day of school," Ragnor Fell sat blinking at him from his place at the breakfast bar. He was poking at the plate of eggs and bacon Catarina had served up. They were so lucky Cat liked to cook, seeing as the rest of them hated it. Ragnor refused to make anything most of the time, Magnus normally wasn't motivated to make anything with more than three ingredients, Will and Jem could cook when they weren't busy running around doing a million other things, and Tessa could make a decent meal when she made the time. Tessa played volleyball for the school and the yearbook club. Will was vice president of student council with the president being Isabelle Lightwood.
"You're on point, Fell," Magnus snapped, his good mood evaporating by the second. He just didn't want to deal with any of this on his birthday. The school had sent a letter that while the school wouldn't officially recognize his name or gender change his teachers had been notified of his preferred name. Today was going to be long, tedious, and would likely either piss him off or make him feel like his progress was worth nothing.
"Wow, for the birthday boy you sure are crabby," Ragnor tossed a wrapped present at him. "You alright?"
"I'm tired as hell, and today is going to be long. I don't want to go back." Magnus slumped onto a chair at the table and tried not to let his frustrations get the better of him. "It's just not much of a birthday."
"Hey, now, Cat is making you dinner tonight! We'll have fun later tonight when I get some sleep and you lot get your first day out of the way." Ragnor was about to leave the kitchen when Catarina came back dressed in her dark blue scrubs and her hair pinned up. She was ready to start her shift at the hospital at six while Ragnor was ready for bed. Ragnor's shift rotated in two week cycles. He'd be on mornings again starting in a week. As a paramedic Ragnor was ready to go at all times and his schedule was never consistent. Catarina was lucky enough to secure first shift in the surgical unit and had steady hours. The two of them were best friends and Magnus, WIll, and Jem were lucky enough to live with them. Tessa lived with her parents at home twenty minutes away. Will had needed a place shortly after Magnus moved in with Ragnor and the older man had shrugged and decided Magnus might as well have a playmate around. Then Jem came back for sophmore year and WIll insisted he'd stay with them as well. Magnus was lucky enough to get his own room while the other two boys shared.
"You're funny if you think you're going to bed," Cat said with a hand pushing him back down in his seat. "I have three teenagers to get out the door and you have yet to tell me who you admitted last night so I'm ahead of the game."
"You use me for your petty rivalries," Ragnor moaned as he laid his head on his arms. "It's getting ridiculous."
"I have to put up with Elizabeth and Savannah all day, don't test me," The two names Cat spat out as if they tasted bitter on her tongue were familiar to the household even if none of them had met the women mentioned. Cat had no hesitation in complaining about her intolerable coworkers. "Here Magnus, eat something. Happy Birthday, and dinner will be fantastic."
"Thank you Cat, I appreciate it," Magnus felt a smile slip onto his face as he accepted his eggs and bacon. The two adults went on about people that Magnus couldn't care to pay attention to. He was trying to stay in the present moment and not let himself skip ahead to what the day might hold.
"Alright, we gotta go!" Will raced in the kitchen with Tessa on his heels. The two of them had likely been talking to Will's dad who was in Argentina at the moment on business. Will's dad was rarely home for more than six weeks in a year and his mother and sister had chosen to go with him. Will hadn't wanted the tutor his parents had hired and begged to be allowed to go to high school. His father made sure to skype him as often as he possibly could and provided Will with whatever he could want. It didn't make up for not having his dad around, but Will made it work as well as he could. Once he had secured housing with Ragnor, Cat, and Magnus his parents couldn't deny him anything. WIll was used to being completely spoilt, and occasionally it would show, but for the most part Will was as down to earth as the rest of them.
"I made you food, Herondale!" Cat chided as she waved to the plates she had ready for the two of them. "It's Magnus's birthday, we could at least enjoy breakfast together."
"Well, if it's for Magnus then…" Will teased as he perched on the edge of the stool. Tessa declined breakfast and settled for a piece of toast. She rarely ate anything before noon. Magnus sat and listened to the rest of them talk as he focused on counting his heartbeats. After a few more moments of this Magnus decided he had to get moving or he would go right back upstairs and crawl in bed.
"Let's go get James. Thanks for breakfast, Cat!" Magnus collected his bag and waved as he headed outside. The fresh air felt wonderful as he hesitated which car to climb into.
"I'm driving," Tessa answered his unspoken question as she unlocked her car. The silver Kia Rio was her gift last spring for her birthday. She had saved for half of it and while it was a few years old she loved it as if it was brand new. It helped that her boyfriend bought the top line of waxes and soaps for his car that he generously shared with her. "Will won't take his baby near the school."
"He has a fair point," Magnus tossed his bag in the back seat first before climbing in after. "Most of our student body can't drive worth anything. We had twenty-five accidents in one semester last year WIll told me."
"Did you see my new baby?" Will asked eagerly as he clambered in, referring to his brand new mustang that had come yesterday in pristine condition. Will was always moving a million miles an hour, especially during school. "Dad had it delivered just the other day. I forget where you were Mags, but Tessa doesn't appreciate it the way it needs to be."
"I was at therapy, WIlliam," Magnus hated being reminded of how weak he was, and how far he had left to go. "I did see it just now, but I promise I will coo over it with you later."
"Jem appreciates my cars," Will muttered as Tessa got them going in the direction of the airport.
"Jem also wants to get in your pants, while I don't," Magnus pointed out with a tiny smirk which made Tessa laugh and Will scowl more.
The airport was crowded as ever as Tessa circled around the terminal trying hopelessly to find Jem waiting for them among the throng of people. It took them a good fifteen minutes before they spotted the tall handsome with brown hair juggling two suitcases and his violin. Tessa pulled into a spot quickly and was out of the car in a split second. Magnus hung back while the other two darted out to greet their lover. He didn't know how his friends were making their relationship work, but ever since they had abandoned all boundaries and decided to love each other freely they had been happier than Magnus could imagine being.
Tessa was quick to jump into Jem's arms as he swept her around laughing. Will was smiling and was quick to pull Jem to him once Tessa had let go for a moment. Will and Jem shared a meaningful and lingering kiss before Tessa started hauling one suitcase towards the boot of the car. Magnus couldn't explain why he was so nervous to see Jem. Jem was the one who had gotten the ball rolling for his injections, making the right calls Magnus was afraid to. The three of them had gone with him to the first appointment last April. Jem had made sure he was on his way to being more at peace with himself before he left. Even with all he had done Magnus felt more often than not he was nothing more than a little girl playing dress up. Sometimes he felt like he would never be accepted as Magnus, and would have Margaret always looming over him.
"Hey stranger," Jem greeted quietly, climbing in beside Magnus while the other two argued how to best get his stuff in the trunk. Pale hands settled on his shoulder as Jem looked him over carefully. He met Magnus's eyes with a smile on his face. "You look great, Magnus. I honestly can't believe all that hormones can do. How do you feel?"
"LIke I'm playing dress up," Magnus whispered, dropping his gaze to his lap. "It does make me feel a lot better than before. I like how it all looks."
"Then smile a bit, yeah?" Jem's gentle hand swept over his cheek fondly. "It's not every day you turn eighteen. Will has things planned."
"Doesn't Will always?" Magnus let himself relax a bit as Will settled behind the wheel this time so Tessa could turn in her seat to talk to Jem. It was nice to have the four of them back together again, ready to start another year. Magnus only hoped he'd make it through alright this time instead of a disaster like sophomore year. He felt Jem take his hand subtly and knew he wouldn't be alone.
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Alec Lightwood was woken on the first day of his senior year by his little brother bursting in far too early with five shirts in his hand and borderline frantic.
"Alec! Alec, I can't sleep and I have no idea what to wear. Izzy made it sound like today is going to determine the rest of my life and I can't handle that kind of pressure!" Max's voice carried a whine to it that had been missing since he was a little boy. Alec groaned as he saw it was only five-thirty in the morning and he could have gotten another hour of sleep. Why didn't anyone bother Jace with this kind of thing? His adopted brother was better dressed than he ever was, and also cared much more about reputation. Then again Jace would probably launch something very heavy at the head of the person trying to wake him before his alarm went off, and he had dead aim.
"Gimme a minute," Alec mumbled, rubbing his eyes and trying to make his tired brain wake up. He had been up late himself, writing lyrics and trying to figure out how they were going to make Mortal Instruments work with no drummer. They may only be a cover band, but Alec would be damned if they would go the whole year without playing. They had a gig set up at Bounce, a nightclub they regularly played at. It was the only place they could play so far, besides maybe a school dance if they couldn't get someone better. Then again, his sister was student council president this year, so that could end up in his favor.
"What's your problem?" Alec asked, turning on his lamp and looking at Max once again. His little brother looked incredibly worried and nervous as he bit his lip in a shirt of Alec's and old pajama bottoms.
"Izzy said today would seal my high school experience. She said today was so important, and I just don't know what to do! Help me, Alec!" Max looked up at him with big blue eyes to match his own and Alec couldn't help but feel bad for him. Max was a brand new freshman this year, and he'd been anticipating it for months. He'd been jittery for weeks and had suddenly started caring about what clothes he picked out. Isabelle had been in charge of taking him shopping this year and had obviously filled his head with the wrong sort of ideas about high school.
"Okay, Izzy is full of crap," Alec told his brother calmly, taking the shirts from his brother and laying them out on the bed. "Nobody is going to remember much about today because everyone is confused and scared of being in high school. You might meet a couple of people but it will not determine the next four years. Trust me when I tell you that today is important, but not life changing. I like the blue shirt."
"You always pick black or blue," Max pouted as he stood looking over his choices. Alec rolled his eyes and was about to demand why Max had even asked him then when Max picked up the blue shirt and stared at it. His bottom lip stuck out and it was obvious he was incredibly nervous and stressed out.
"Okay, c'mere Max," Alec drew his little brother to him for a hug. "It's going to be great I promise you. I'm going to walk you to your locker and your first class. We have the same lunch period this semester. I'm going to help you, okay? You'll do great."
"Dad didn't come home last night, and he promised he'd be here for our first day." Max told him as he cuddled his head into his brother's chest. "I hate it when he doesn't come home."
"Dad must have been caught up in work," Alec told the lie as a burning anger filled his gut. The truth was his father must have decided to get a hotel room with a woman he met at a bar the night before. It had been eight years since their parents had gotten divorced and the thought of his father with someone else still didn't sit right with him. His mother may be a dominating and difficult woman, but she was still their mother. If his father wanted to date someone that was one thing, but these one night stands had to stop. Their father had no interest in being a father, only in living a life that pleased him. He was a lawyer in one of Manhattan's top firms and that led him to having many privileges among the elite crowd. Their mother was away in California and had shipped them to their father when she had gotten her position as a manager of a modeling agency a few years ago. They saw her a few weeks every summer and over Christmas break, but the majority of their time was spent right here in Manhattan. "Go get in the shower, okay? You'll want to before Izzy takes over that bathroom. Jace will be in after that I'd imagine. You don't want to be caught without hot water."
. Max scooped up his clothes and darted down the hall to his own room and Alec heard the shower running moments later. He looked at the rumpled covers with fading hope he'd be able to crawl back in bed. It was their first day of senior year, and someone had to make it memorable.
Alec was quick to throw on some clothes and run his hand through his hair a few times before his siblings got moving around. He had enough time to make them some breakfast and maybe take a few pictures before they all headed off to school. He would take Jace and Max while Izzy drove her flashy red sports car by herself. She was always staying after school for either cheerleading or student council so it made sense for her to have her own car.
He set about making pancakes as he hummed along to the radio. They needed to pick a new set to cover this year, probably some summer hits to start off with before the new fall music came barrelling out. They weren't out to make their band a career, or maybe Simon was when the mood struck him. Their band was a way to have a blast on the weekends doing something they loved. They had had an amazing drummer, but he went off to college and left them with no clue where to find another. Simon had put up flyers last week when they had picked up their new schedules. Their auditions were today after school, before homework overwhelmed people and they didn't want to stick around a second longer. Alec wasn't holding out much hope for finding anyone reliable and talented in their school. He knew the people with talent were in band, and that their Friday nights were largely taken with football games and then with competitions other nights. That wouldn't work with their regular gigs on Saturday nights.
"Are you making us breakfast?" His sister walked in the room, looking gorgeous. California had been kind to her, giving her skin a warm brown tint and her hair had grown out over the summer to just below her shoulder blades. She wore it curled today and it fell perfectly no matter which way she moved. Izzy had a talent with hair that Alec couldn't imagine, not being able to do much with his mop of hair. "Is dad out being a complete slut, as usual?"
"Max is awake," Alec warned her firmly. Neither of them much liked who their father was, or how he conducted himself in his spare time, but Max wasn't old enough or knew enough to condemn their father in the same way. Max still loved their father as a child would, with blind trust and adoration. Max never got to know their mother, since he had always been too young to tag along with their mother's busy lifestyle. "You look nice, Izzy."
"Thank you," Izzy smiled at him as she opened a notebook and started reading over what she had worked on over the summer. She was captain of their cheerleading squad and president of student council. Alec thought she was absolutely insane to take all of it on, but his sister had insisted this was what she wanted. The puzzling thing was all she wanted to do after school was either a cosmetology program or something to do with fashion like their mother. Alec would much rather she do the former, since the latter had made their mother become someone he no longer liked or cared to know.
"You get first dibs on pancakes," Alec offered as he held out a plate heaping with the fluffy pancakes.
"I'll take one," Izzy corrected him, picking one off the top and eating it piece by piece. Alec sighed and cast her a worried look. His sister had been different since last year. Ever since their mother had gotten ahold of her this summer she had changed. She was more distant, and ate hardly anything.
"I thought I smelled food," Jace said as he sluggishly came into the kitchen. "Did you make coffee?"
"Is the grass green?" Alec retorted wryly, the two of them couldn't function without their morning dose of coffee, or more than one dose depending on how the night went. He took out a mug and poured hot coffee before placing it in front of his brother.
"You're still doing all that?" Jace asked as he noticed Izzy pouring over her notes. "It's senior year Iz, you can take it easy. Senior year isn't actually meant to be hell."
"Not all of us are lazy asses who deem it okay to get by with good looks," Izzy snapped, clearly not in the mood for snark.
"Don't forget that while being gorgeous, I'm also hilarious, witty, and a genius. You never seem to be able to look past my beauty." Jace put on a pout to seem extremely put out, but his smirk gave it away.
"You would never be able to play poker," Alec muttered as he carried over plates of breakfast for himself and Jace. He slid the syrup towards his brother while putting peanut butter on his own pancakes.
"Uncle Mike is here!" Max announced happily as he came into the kitchen and nearly moaned in appreciation at the stack of pancakes at his place. "Alec, you're the best!"
"Who said I didn't make them?" Jace asked as he entertained himself with seeing how close he could flick drops of syrup to Izzy's notebook before she launched something at his head.
"You don't even know where we keep the griddle," Max answered. Jace's smirk fell slightly as the smaller Lightwood was completely right.
"Well, let me start on some pancakes for Mike," Alec felt inexplicable nervous that his uncle had shown up out of the blue. Michael was wonderful, and more of a father to Alec than Robert had proved himself to be. He always wanted to live up to the faith and pride Michael seemed to have in him.
"I'll make them," Izzy said as she lobbed her pen at Jace and closed her notebook. "It's not like I can concentrate in this kitchen anyways."
"Are my niece and nephew finally home from L.A.?" Michael's deep voice carried through the hall as he entered the house. Alec watched as his siblings faces visibly brightened the minute they heard his voice. They all adored Michael Wayland, and he was so grateful their adoration was returned tenfold.
"In the kitchen!" Alec called out, trying to hide his smile. Jace leaned back as he finished his stack of pancakes. The tall looming frame of their uncle appeared in the doorway with his brown hair brushing the top of the doorway.
"Well, aren't you all just bright-eyes and bushy tailed for your first day?" Mike held open an arm for Max who immediately went to him for a hug. Izzy was up next for a tight hug and if she held on for an extra moment Alec wasn't about to say anything.
"Did you like high school Uncle Mike?" Max asked, his nerves mostly settled by now but wanting one last confirmation that his new school would be all he hoped it would be.
"Well, your dad made it interesting for me most of the time. Like is a very relative term." Michael looked thoughtful as he ruffled Jace's hair and kissed the top of Alec's head affectionately. "I guess I liked it most the time."
"More than I can say," Jace muttered.
"How was your summer?" Izzy set down a plate in front of the last empty place indicating for their uncle to sit. The pancakes were a little darker than Alec would have preferred, but they would be alright. Mike reached for the peanut butter with a wink to Alec before answering Izzy's broad question.
"More or less alright, hot and long. I got your dad to come on the boat with me a total of three times, which I guess is more than ever before." He was silent for a moment as he enjoyed his first bite. "I missed you guys a lot I'll admit. This house isn't nearly as fun."
"We took a trip to the zoo," Max put in with a smile. "Then Jace joined us when we went to see this really cool band playing in Brooklyn down by the water."
"We did have a few memorable outings," Mike agreed amicably. "Jace made himself busy most of the time."
"There's never enough of me to go around," Jace quipped as he went to leave the room. "When are we leaving?"
"In five minutes," Alec replied, glancing at his phone. "Go get your stuff together guys. I have to get Max organized before school starts."
"Is it that late already?" Isabelle darted to her own phone to check the time. "Sorry, I gotta run MIke! We'll see you soon?"
"I'll be around, maybe tonight. I gotta see how your first day turned out, yeah?" Mike accepted her quick kiss on the cheek as she quickly gathered her stuff and was out the door.
"So," Mike pushed his plate aside as he fixed his gaze on Alec. They were finally alone as Jace and Max were grabbing what they needed. "How was L.A..?"
"Busy," Alec answered vaguely, not sure what he could say about their time on the west coast. "Mom dragged us around places, when she was home. We were at the beach a lot. The same as here, only less humid."
"Did you manage to have any fun?" Mike had an eyebrow raised when Alec glanced at him. Alec blushed and rolled his eyes.
"With mom around? Hardly," Alec gathered the plates together and set about washing them. Mike poured a glass of juice as he leaned against the counter.
"You seem quiet," Mike commented at last as the dishes were finished and Alec fidgeted waiting on his siblings.
"I just have a lot to think about," Alec's answer was again vague and he knew he wa reaching the limit on vagueness that Mike would accept.
"Your dad gone?"
"Yeah, somewhere," Alec tried to keep the slight disappointment out of his tone. "Max was kind of upset this morning about it. Dad should be here for his first day of high school."
"What happened in L. A. Alec?" MIke finally asked pointedly. "You're way too quiet, and Izzy seems different too."
"It's hard to explain," Alec sighed and fidgeted with a strap on his bag. "Being with mom is so different than with dad. Dad doesn't want to be a parent, and he makes it obvious. Mom doesn't want it either, but she tries too hard. She doesn't know the first thing about us, so instead she tries to make us like things and do things she thinks we should. This summer was just incredibly boring and long. Izzy had a bit of fun, but as I'm a walking fashion disaster I was left to myself most of the time."
"Your dad…" MIke started to explain, but Alec shook his head.
"Save it for Max when he starts asking questions. I'm not interested in what Dad tells you. I just want to get away from him so he can stop getting to me so much."
"Your dad is trying," MIke still interjected. "It was hard for him to accept me at first as well. Now he's coming over and meeting any boyfriend I happen to get and threatening them with bodily harm if they hurt me."
"I guess a best friend and a son are different terms." Alec picked up his bag and turned to go. "He's just been completely intolerable to talk to. He tries not to talk directly to me, and it makes it hard. He adores the rest of them and then gives me some indifferent look. Maybe it's just me he doesn't want to be a parent for."
"You only came out-"
"A year ago," Alec cut him off. "It's been a year since I told my father that I had a boyfriend I wanted him to meet. Jonathan was such a nice guy, and dad had no right to be so awful every time he came around. I'm tired of protecting him from my sexuality. He can tell me he's okay with it until he's blue in the face, but until he acts like he gives a shit about me I'm done."
"Okay," MIke conceded gently as he wrapped Alec in a tight hug. "I get your point, I do. I'm sorry Robert is being so difficult. Trust that he loves you, kiddo. Almost as much as I do."
"I love you too," Alec said in return. He tried his best not to ever think too closely about his father because it made things easier. Maybe this year would get better after a summer apart. He'd find out when he got home tonight. "Jace! Max! Let's get this show on the road!"
"Okay, sorry!" Max apologized as he hurried to the door with his bag. "Bye Uncle!"
"Have a great first day guys," Mike waved as he gave them space to leave. Alec's pocket buzzed and he glanced to see Mike had texted to call if he needed to.
"Let's go back to the halls of oppression then," Jace said sadly as he joined them by the car. "I'm not ready to go back."
"One more year," Alec reminded him. "Then it's off to as far as we can go."
"You got that right," Jace muttered before clearing his expression so he wouldn't ruin Max's hesitant excitement.
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They had made it as far as lunch and so far things were better than Magnus anticipated. The teachers had called him Magnus, and nobody had said anything to the contrary. Most of the kids truly didn't remember him much and didn't make any sort of connection to sophmore year. He was starving, despite having breakfast for a change.
"Are. You. Five. Will?" Jem asked through gritted teeth as Will persisted in drumming against his back with a pair of pencils.
"He's at least seven," Tessa replied as she read a book across from them. She wore a smile that never left her face as she tried not to watch her boys too obviously.
"You guys are jealous I'm about to be in a band," Will insisted. "MI is an awesome band and I'm about to be in it. Can you say Bounce every single weekend?"
"Yeah, clubbing every weekend is completely my thing," Jem said dryly. Magnus snorted into his cup.
"You can't drag your boyfriend with you every weekend to ignore him," Magnus pointed out. "And Tess would be hit on constantly by every guy there, gay or not."
"Yeah, okay," Tessa rolled her eyes while she picked off Jem's plate. Jem smiled affectionately at her as he turned his plate to make what she wanted more available.
"Aren't they just a cover band?" Magnus asked, largely out of the scene of what was going on. He had went with Will once to the popular nightclub last year, but that was it. "What do they play?"
"They cover top hits, and some older amazing songs. I think the singer is in charge of what they play. Some shows have a theme, and some are per audience request." Will had started tapping on the edge of the table instead, causing Jem to glare at him ten fold. "They're a pretty great band and they'll probably play at homecoming."
"So, every chance for a date with you is ruined?" Tessa asked, finally put out by the band idea. "Did you think to ask your girlfriend about this?"
"Or your boyfriend who's been gone for two months?" Jem played along as he slipped an arm around Will. Tessa's eyes widened and she glanced around. Magnus had been filled in on the car ride over that nobody knew the three of them were together. Will and Tessa kept their relationship public since it had been going on since they were sixteen, but the Jem part is where the secret lay.
"Damn, what happened to you?" The voice made all four of them tense and Jem immediately snagged his arm back to his side. Magnus turned to see the voice belonged to Gideon Lightwood, someone he really hadn't wanted to run into. The Lightwood family was prominent in the school so it was hard not to known any of them. Will now worked with Isabelle, Jem also knew Isabelle from her relationship with Simon Lewis who was in band that shared storage space with the orchestra where Jem lived the last half of the day. Tessa knew one of them from volleyball that hung around with Helen's girlfriend Aline Penhallow. Gideon Lightwood hadn't been his friend exactly in sophmore year, but they had talked. Gideon had tried to date him, when he had gone by Margaret, but that had backfired. He had a twin brother named Gabriel that went here, but Magnus didn't know him as well. "You used to be hot. Are you going for butch lesbian now?"
"You fucking shithead," Will was on his feet before Magnus could even process what he had said. "Are you really an ignorant piece of shit or-"
"Hi Gideon," Magnus said, finding a voice he had thought was gone. He couldn't let Will get potentially suspended for fighting the first day. He had known this was going to happen, it was inevitable. People couldn't have totally forgotten him after only a year. "I go by Magnus now."
"I heard," Gideon was still eyeing him intently. "So, you drop off the face of the earth and decide to become some kind of transvestite freak? Is this because I tried to come onto you in the locker rooms after gym class? It wasn't all that bad."
"What the hell?" Will asked, looking more furious by the second.
"This- I-" Magnus fumbled his words, unsure how to explain this to anyone. It was something he had done, but he hadn't yet had to really explain it. Or at least explain it without completely breaking down. Telling Ragnor had been when he was curled in bed crying, and telling his friends had also been a pretty emotional time.
"It's none of your business who Magnus chooses to be," Tessa spoke firmly but calmly as she glared at Gideon, closing her book. "If you have any honest questions I'm sure Magnus would be happy to answer, but otherwise you need to leave."
"While kissing you was enough to want to die, what I did has nothing to do with you," Magnus told him firmly, wanting that much to be clear. "The term for it is transgender, so if you're going to talk about it at least get your terms right."
"Either way you're a freak," Gideon supplied, despite the four glares aimed at him. "I wanted to look at the circus act up close and personal. When Gabe told me that sweet, quiet Margaret was now some tall butch I had to see it for myself."
"Will, stop," Jem's firm voice kept Magnus in the moment. He had a tight grip on Will's arm as both boys stood. They each looked completely furious and their outburst had drawn many curious stares from the students around them. Magnus wanted to leave, but knew it would make the whispers worse.
"Are you being an ass once again, Gideon?" A girl wearing seven inch heels and an expression fit to kill appeared by their table.
"So he's always this pleasant?" Will asked through gritted teeth, obviously using great self-restraint to not punch Gideon in the jaw. The mysterious girl glanced at him before rolling her eyes and stepping in front of Gideon.
"Get the hell out of here Gideon." She sounded bored rather than angry. Magnus had no idea who she was, but he was very glad she seemed to be taking over the situation.
"Or what, princess?" Gideon took a step closer to her as a challenge, not liking being told what to do.
"Or," She stepped toward him, her eyes glittering. "I slam this textbook into your face until I break your nose. Got me?"
"You're such a bitch," Gideon mumbled as he left. She spun on one heel and sighed, turning to face Will with a pleasant enough expression.
"Sorry my cousin is the biggest ass to every exist. You should hear Alec talk about him, it's hilarious." She handed Will a few typed out pages which he took as he slowly relaxed and sat back in his seat. Jem stood behind him with one hand still on his shoulder, not trusting Will to let go of his temper so quickly. "That's the agenda for the meeting tomorrow. If you have anything to add or change just email me tonight. I'll try to get to it after cheer practice."
"Right," Will's tone was still curt, but it lost the menace it held before. "This all looks good. Have a good summer?"
"I don't know if being here is worse, or where I was this summer. Hard choice," She seemed to completely dismiss the question as she turned to Magnus with a smile. "Hi Magnus, I'm Izzy. It's nice to actually meet you. I sit behind you in our awful Government class."
"Hi," Magnus took her offered hand. "I noticed you don't stay quiet long."
"Oh," She gave a small smile. "I'm not the best person to sit next to if you want to pay attention."
"I'm not terribly interested with that monotone voice teaching," Magnus told her, sharing her smile.
"Well I had better go find Jace, we share lunch. He'll get ornery if I make him wait and I'm not in the mood to deal with him." She waved at them before addressing Will once more. "Look that over and let me know, okay?"
"Gotcha," Will seemed to calm down by the minute as his attention was drawn to something else. Magnus clenched his hands under the table to keep them from shaking. The whole ordeal had only lasted minutes and could have gone much worse. He also knew that was only the beginning once people began to figure out who he was and who he used to be. If Gideon Lightwood knew then other people were bound to hear about it before too long.
"Let's take a walk," Jem said into his ear and pulled him from the table. Tessa offered a wave of her fingers as she picked up her book again. Jem didn't speak until they were out in a corner of the courtyard that seemed empty enough. Magnus didn't want to look at Jem right then, but he knew Jem was only concerned about him. Once you were diagnosed with depression people never seemed to stop worrying.
"I'm okay," Magnus said, before Jem could start with the questioning. "It wasn't pleasant, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Freak isn't the worst insult I've heard."
"I don't want to hear that out of your mouth, ever," Jem said firmly, making Magnus look at him. "You are not a freak, and nobody has the right to call you that. You are one brave son of a bitch who took amazingly huge steps to make yourself happy. So many people are afraid to go after what they want."
"Okay, now you're dramatizing it," Magnus ran a hand over his hair. He suddenly wished for his pack of cigarettes he had at home with the added stress of the day. "I'm guessing I can't smoke here?"
"No,that's against school policy," Jem smiled. "I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that you're one of the bravest people I know."
"You made it all happen, " Magnus felt he had to admit. "Ragnor was the one who made me start talking to someone so I wouldn't off myself. My story isn't about bravery, it's about the fact that I'm lucky enough to have friends drag me all through it. If it wasn't for you guys I don't think I'd be okay."
"I think you don't give yourself enough credit," Jem sighed and looked at him closely. "Are you sure you're okay? Did that asshat really try to kiss you?"
"Once upon a time, yeah," Magnus chuckled. "He was always a loser. He just thought I was pretty back then. I don't even know how serious of an attempt it was."
"That's the bell," Jem pulled Magnus to his feet. "Let's try and get through the rest of the day so we can get to your birthday celebrations instead, much more fun."
"Can't we just go home and drink?" Magnus suggested as they walked back inside. "I'm sure Ragnor would let us have a bottle of something for the occasion. I don't really want to go out."
"We'll see," Jem said mysteriously as they joined up with Will and Tessa once more. Tessa kissed his cheek quickly before she went off to class on the second floor. Jem squeezed his hand before heading off to orchestra.
"You good?" Will asked as they fell into step beside one another.
"Good as I can be," Magnus replied, sighing as they made their way into yet another classroom.
MBALMBALMBALMBAL
Alec had math as his last class of the day, and that was just a cruel trick of the universe. He had really hoped he'd have a fun class last, and not the class he hated the most. He knew he had Aline and Simon with him, which was some help, but it still would be kind of awful. He was the first to arrive out of his friends and was about to pick their trio of seats when he spotted the worst thing possible on the first day of class, a seating chart. Alec groaned and kissed any chance of this class being bearable goodbye.
"Margaret Bane," Alec muttered to himself, trying to memorize the name. He scanned the room and blinked when he saw a boy sitting in the seat labelled Margaret. He frowned and checked the arrangement again. Maybe the other boy had completely missed the fact that they had a seating chart, since the majority of teachers didn't use one. Alec probably wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't been rounding the room for a decent spot Simon would approve of, since he actually liked math.
"There's a seating chart up front," Alec said with touch of awkwardness as he put his things down. "I don't know if you saw it." He thought the other boy was going to completely ignore him as his gaze stayed fixed out the window. Alec didn't pay him much notice until he turned his gaze to look at Alec and he felt his stomach drop out completely. His eyes were gorgeous, a deep green that seemed deeper than Alec could ever see into. They held a deep sadness and weariness that made Alec want to find out who had hurt this boy so badly. What had made him look at the world this way through his captivating eyes. His gaze widened to take in the flawless caramel skin and soft face with prominent cheekbones. The glitter in his hair reflected with the afternoon sun and make the black locks seem to glimmer as well as they flopped over his forehead. Alec had seen a few beautiful boys, but none had taken his breath away like this.
This boy was completely gorgeous, and Alec wished he could stay behind him all year.
"I go by Magnus," The boy replied carefully, his voice quiet and holding a note of caution. He didn't keep Alec's gaze long as his eyes flickered to the open door and back again. "I- I was um…" He looked uncomfortable continuing and after pondering the situation for a moment Alec seemed to put some pieces together. Magnus must be Margaret, or had been, and no longer wanted to be. Alec had no room to judge, and whoever Magnus wanted to be was fine with him as long as he got to hear that tenor voice again.
"I'm Alec," Alec settled down in his seat and sent a smile Magnus's way. "Izzy mentioned meeting you, are you new?"
"Something like that, new enough," Magnus agreed with a small smile of his own. Those green eyes seemed to lighten as they got his preferred name out of the way. "Are you any good at math?"
"I'm awful," Alec admitted. His smile lingered longer than it had all day. Magnus had long fingers with a ring on his right hand and he twirled it around his hand as he crossed one leg over the other. "You?"
"I get by alright, with help from Google," Magnus ended with a grin as Alec chuckled.
"I haven't seen you all day!" A dramatic voice exclaimed from the doorway and Alec looked to see Aline in the doorway. She made no hesitation in running over and squeezing her way onto his lap while throwing her arms around his neck tightly. Her skin was warm from her dark tan she had gotten from her vacation with Helen Blackthorn, her girlfriend of a year and a half. Her short hair brushed his cheek, she had cut it all off in July, and even with all the changes she still felt so familiar and perfect in his arms. Aline might not be his sister by blood, but he loved her as much as the rest of his siblings.
"I missed you too, Aline," Alec said dryly. "It would also seem that I'm going to miss breathing here shortly, and feeling my legs."
"Oh, you whine as much as ever," Aline teased as she slipped out to sit on his desk instead. "How is it this school has kept us apart until the last freaking class of teh day?"
"They're conspiring," Alec rolled his eyes towards Magnus, who gave his small smile once again. "You look amazing Aline, have a good vacation?"
"Have you seen my snapchats?" Aline demanded, looking scorned. "I sent you so many pictures that you would know that answer already!"
"I just wanted your account of it!" Alec defended himself, raising his hands. "Izzy showed me them since you sent them to her too. Everything looked very amazing and relaxing."
"L.A.? Anything? You've been a closed book all summer!" Aline changed subjects like lightning and had been pestering him about his own trip as much as possible. Aline looked hurt, but her brown eyes still shone. Alec knew she would forgive him anything.
"I have things to tell you later," Alec told her, closing that subject for the moment. He did want to tell Aline about the summer, if he ever found time. "Are you coming to auditions?"
"For your dorky band?" Aline tried to keep a straight face, and mostly pulled it off if it wasn't for her twitching lips. "Wait, is Izzy going? That'll be a bundle of awkward."
"Are you already gossiping about me?" Alec's grin widened again as he saw Simon walk in. More students were filling in the room, some seeing the chart and others oblivious with the majority seeing it and ignoring it.
"Yeah, I absolutely have nothing better to talk about," Aline told Simon as she put her feet in the way of where he wanted to sit. "I didn't even say your name, Lewis."
"You think I haven't heard everyone talking about the nerd who lost Isabelle Lightwood?" Simon sighed heavily which made Aline move her feet with a frown. "Nobody is actually surprised it happened, only betting on what it was Izzy finally realized about made her run." He rubbed a thumb and forefinger under his glasses.
"She doesn't know what she lost,' Aline assured him. She patted him on the back. "You're better off without her, especially with the shit way she was treating you this summer."
"This is Magnus," Alec introduced, at a loss of what else to say. He hated that his sister and his best friend had broken up, and he had tread the waters successfully so far. Izzy had done it over the phone while they had been away, and had kept her cards close to her chest about why. He hated seeing Simon upset, and had no answers to his many confused questions. "He's new this year."
"How awful to be new senior year," Aline commented. "You don't have that history with people. Maybe it makes it less sad."
"We're not being sad Aline," Alec reminded her. "There is nothing sad about leaving this place, seriously."
"Is there a seating chart?" Simon had finally noticed what everyone was looking at up front. "Are you kidding?"
"Fuck," Aline swore as she let her head hang back. "I better be near you Alec, or else I'm never going to make it through this class. I hear this teacher is an absolute bitch. Tell me where I sit, Lewis. And make sure it's the right answer."
"Be back soon," Simon left his bag and disappeared up front. Alec noticed Magnus watching them with amused eyes, even if he didn't say much. It only took minutes for Aline move a row over and two seats ahead and Simon to be across the room. The room settled quickly enough as soon as the teacher, a Mrs. Baxter, entered the room. Her voice was stern and she quickly revealed she wasn't the kind of teacher to include a sense of humor while teaching or much of a personality at all. She passed out a syllabus and started to call role. Alec took out a notebook and was about to set his eyes on the set list he had been playing with all day. He knew he'd be towards the end anyways. This was more important that any stupid syllabus.
"Bane, Margaret?!" Baxter's voice rang through the room and Alec's head shot up as Magnus went stiff and seemed unable to move or say anything. His hands had gone slack, the pencil he had been holding clattering to the floor. Alec bit his lip, wanting to say something but unsure what, or even if he should defend the stranger in front of him. He was gorgeous, and that smile was about to kill him, but that didn't give Alec the right to fight his battles.
"I-" Magnus began, his voice strangled and quiet. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I go by Magnus, actually. Magnus Bane."
"Oh, right," She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're one of those that think they can pick their own gender or something."
"No-" Magnus started to say, but was cut off by their teacher who looked like she had quite a bit to say on this matter.
"Let me tell you all something," Her voice was loud and carrying as Alec watched Magnus's face go completely blank and his eyes widened. "Nobody but God is allowed to tell you what your gender is. He is the one that created you and he is the only one who can tell you if you're a boy or a girl. You kids have no business trying to waste perfectly good resources and time trying to change that."
"What bullshit is this?" Alec heard Aline mutter. Magnus hadn't moved a muscle since the teacher had started her rant. Whispers had broken out around the room with most people staring at Magnus. Some were in support of what the teacher was saying while others were just shocked she was preaching about God in a classroom. Alec didn't hear a single word in support of the beautiful boy in front of him.
"One last thing," Mrs. Baxter seemed to be done with her rant for the moment as she fixed her cold, gray eyes on Magnus. "I bet your poor mother and father would not want their daughter to be thought of like this. You can do what you like, but in my classroom I'm not calling you anything but your given name, which is Margaret. You can wear all the boy styles you want, and cut your hair any which way, but it won't change the way you were made!" The last straw to break Alec's tentative silence was the single tear that slipped down Magnus's cheek as his gaze went back out the window clearly unsure of what to do or how to react.
" Shut the hell up!" Alec had stood up and was glaring at this teacher with a look he previously only reserved for his father.
"What did you just say to me?" Mrs. Baxter's voice held a tone that meant trouble for him, but Alec couldn't bring himself to stop.
"You have no right to belittle people because of what you believe." Alec felt himself shaking and he couldn't look to see what Magnus would possibly think. "Magnus has a right to discover who he is, without commentary from you. It isn't your job to decide who we are, your job is to make sure we know enough to pass this class and make it to college. You need to shut the hell up, and stop saying what you have no right to say."
"You can get out of my classroom Mr. Lightwood," Her gaze was sharp enough to cut him straight through. "You'll be lucky if you aren't suspended for this manner of disrespect! You'll be lucky if I let you back in my class!" Alec didn't hesitate to gather his stuff and storm out of the room. He knew he'd get detention for this, quite a few. He doubted he'd get suspended since he'd heard worse, but this wouldn't end well. His father had been with one of the secretaries in the main office and he had no doubt she'd tell Robert everything about this, if only to get back in his pants another night. She was young, and for some reason was impressed by a hot-shot lawyer.
"What the hell happened to you?" Aline was by him in moments with Simon behind him. Alec wasn't at all surprised to see them. They had as little tolerance as he did for small-minded idiots. "Since when do you shout at teachers?"
"She deserves to be fired," Alec's voice was shaking as badly as his hands. "What right did she have to humiliate him like that? Bringing God into it? His parents? Is she on crack or something?"
"That bitch can go rot," Aline agreed passionately. She shifted her books to her other arm and peered around. "So, are you staying to find out what the office has to say?"
"No," Alec decided after a moment of gazing down in the direction of the office. "I'll find out from Dad later."
"Oh yeah," Aline sighed heavily. "He's still with the blonde in the office?"
"It wasn't her idea to end things." Alec opened his locker roughly and shoved his useless math book in his locker before gathering what he needed. Another locker slammed around the corner from his and he froze. He signalled for the other two to be quiet and peered around the corner to see it was Magnus gathering his things. His moves were unsteady as his hands trembled and Alec heard him sniffle a few times. It was obvious he was crying as he pulled out his phone. Alec wanted to say something, but at the same time he feared he had made everything worse. Magnus's expression broke his heart as he got a glimpse of his face before Magnus made a bee-line for the east doors. Magnus was beautiful, and seeing those tears on his face was awful. Alec desperately wanted to help, or maybe comfort, but he didn't know how He had been where Magnus was, alone with people judging him from every possible angle. He wouldn't wish that one anyone.