Okay…so we're a little behind…anyways…this is a short reflection on how we
believe Harry feels after GOF…we're going for the very deep approach…tell
us what you think!
:: All in Harry's POV::
Strength In A Star
It was after the train stopped and Uncle Vernon and I were walking to the car, when I noticed the solemn looks I got from the parents of my classmates and other witches and wizards hanging around King's Cross. There were so many of them, why did it take me so long?
Uncle Vernon heaved my trunk to the front door where he left it for me to carry to my room. I passed Dudley on the way up the stairs. He seemed to ignore me, but yet when his piggy eyes glanced at my direction, there was something different about them. He acted hesitant in sending insults and continued to waddle down the stairs.
I pushed my trunk into a corner of my small room and placed Hedwig's cage on my bed. I opened the latch and stretched my arm out for her to sit then carried her over to the open window. She looked at me for, what seemed like an eternity, before she nipped my wrist gently and soared through the open window. I wish I could be free like she was. She could fly through the sky with no worries and come back to rest on my windowsill before flying off again to an endless sky of no fear.
I walked to the bed and sat down. I closed my eyes and rested my head in the palm of my hand. Why…? Why me…? Why was it always me? I had never more than at that moment wished that I never existed. It was always because of me that something bad happened. That someone got hurt. It was always me.
My breath deepened as surges of emotions and memories clouded my head. Cedric's body…Voldemort's rise…pain…no…hope. It was all coming back. Everything was because of me. "What will come will come." Hagrid's words repeated in my head like a broken record. But what if I'm not ready…? What will happen then? Will more people die? Will more people suffer because I'm not able to do anything?
The room was too confiding. I had to get out. I walked down the stairs, out the door, and down the street to a small-secluded park. I sat on top of the highest hill until dusk, where the stars began to shine. I stared at their peaceful glory. They were calm up there. Only the company of each other and the strength of their light to survive. Was that the same with me…? Or was I the lone moon that stood out against all and was depended on to bring the light and hope to all? Why was everything on me? I rubbed fiercely at my scar with my hand. It was all because of this. This stupid scar! Everything happened to me.
A wave of hatred and sadness swept over me. I looked up at the moon again. Shining brightly and then realized that everything was blurry. I touched my face and felt wetness. Tears…? I was crying. I had lost so much hope that I reduced myself to tears. I continued to let the tears fall freely from my eyes. Everything had gone wrong.
I looked at the stars again, and then I saw it. A shooting star. My mind suddenly cleared and I could hear a soft voice whispering in the distance.
Make a wish Harry.
Mum…
Go ahead Harry! Make a wish.
Dad…
You know what we wish for Harry? We wish for you to always have courage and to never loose hope. That's what we wish for.
I'm sorry Mum…but I…
No matter what happens Harry. There will always be shooting stars and we will always be wishing for your safety and courage.
The voices faded and the shooting star disappeared, but the essence continued. I wiped my eyes and looked up again.
I promise I will always have courage to go on and hope to keep the strength.
I turned and walked back to Privet Drive.
Thank you…
Mum…
Dad…
Thank you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Sniff…how angsty! Tell us what you think!
~Star and Glade
6/22/02
:: All in Harry's POV::
Strength In A Star
It was after the train stopped and Uncle Vernon and I were walking to the car, when I noticed the solemn looks I got from the parents of my classmates and other witches and wizards hanging around King's Cross. There were so many of them, why did it take me so long?
Uncle Vernon heaved my trunk to the front door where he left it for me to carry to my room. I passed Dudley on the way up the stairs. He seemed to ignore me, but yet when his piggy eyes glanced at my direction, there was something different about them. He acted hesitant in sending insults and continued to waddle down the stairs.
I pushed my trunk into a corner of my small room and placed Hedwig's cage on my bed. I opened the latch and stretched my arm out for her to sit then carried her over to the open window. She looked at me for, what seemed like an eternity, before she nipped my wrist gently and soared through the open window. I wish I could be free like she was. She could fly through the sky with no worries and come back to rest on my windowsill before flying off again to an endless sky of no fear.
I walked to the bed and sat down. I closed my eyes and rested my head in the palm of my hand. Why…? Why me…? Why was it always me? I had never more than at that moment wished that I never existed. It was always because of me that something bad happened. That someone got hurt. It was always me.
My breath deepened as surges of emotions and memories clouded my head. Cedric's body…Voldemort's rise…pain…no…hope. It was all coming back. Everything was because of me. "What will come will come." Hagrid's words repeated in my head like a broken record. But what if I'm not ready…? What will happen then? Will more people die? Will more people suffer because I'm not able to do anything?
The room was too confiding. I had to get out. I walked down the stairs, out the door, and down the street to a small-secluded park. I sat on top of the highest hill until dusk, where the stars began to shine. I stared at their peaceful glory. They were calm up there. Only the company of each other and the strength of their light to survive. Was that the same with me…? Or was I the lone moon that stood out against all and was depended on to bring the light and hope to all? Why was everything on me? I rubbed fiercely at my scar with my hand. It was all because of this. This stupid scar! Everything happened to me.
A wave of hatred and sadness swept over me. I looked up at the moon again. Shining brightly and then realized that everything was blurry. I touched my face and felt wetness. Tears…? I was crying. I had lost so much hope that I reduced myself to tears. I continued to let the tears fall freely from my eyes. Everything had gone wrong.
I looked at the stars again, and then I saw it. A shooting star. My mind suddenly cleared and I could hear a soft voice whispering in the distance.
Make a wish Harry.
Mum…
Go ahead Harry! Make a wish.
Dad…
You know what we wish for Harry? We wish for you to always have courage and to never loose hope. That's what we wish for.
I'm sorry Mum…but I…
No matter what happens Harry. There will always be shooting stars and we will always be wishing for your safety and courage.
The voices faded and the shooting star disappeared, but the essence continued. I wiped my eyes and looked up again.
I promise I will always have courage to go on and hope to keep the strength.
I turned and walked back to Privet Drive.
Thank you…
Mum…
Dad…
Thank you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Sniff…how angsty! Tell us what you think!
~Star and Glade
6/22/02