Title: Unseen
Author: kunoichiyumemi
Disclaimer: KKM is the property of its respective creators and distributors. No profit is made from this work of fiction.
Summary: There were shadows in Yuuri's eyes that never existed before Sir Weller lost his arm. But few knew that that loss struck Yuuri far harder than he let on.
Note: ConYuu 50 Prompts, Prompt 11: Arm
Yuuri has never given any indication that seeing Conrart loose his arm caused him any trauma beyond simple grief. Not even Wolfram, who slept in Yuuri's bed, knew that sometimes Yuuri would wake in the middle of the night, throat raw with stifled screams, silent tears falling because he has dreamed of that moment, of Conrart's face tightened in a grimace of pain, and the solemn promise, "I will not die."
Yuuri lets no one know how much Conrart's oath of "Arm, Body, and Life," troubles him, because Conrart has always shielded him with his body, and has given up his arm on his behalf once already. How long will it be before he looses Conrart's life as well?
Everyone thinks he's over the loss, that he's repressed the memory, because he no longer winces when he sees the pale band of scar tissue around Conrart's arm. He doesn't flinch when Conrart touches him with that arm anymore. But just because he doesn't show any outward signs of distress doesn't mean he's forgotten that that arm of Conrart's isn't the arm that he was born with.
The arm is a turning point, Yuuri knows, because at night, when the soldiers standing guard outside his door think he's asleep, he hears them talk. He hears them say that his eyes were never so troubled before Sir Weller lost his arm. Yuuri knows it, because as hard as it had been to be King before everything, he'd been protected, buffered from the hardships outside the castle walls. Before Conrart lost his arm, he'd never woke in the middle of the night stifling screams of rage and grief, he'd never found himself unable to sleep because legislation and threat of war loomed over his head. He'd never guarded his heart or his thoughts or his words the way he does now.
It wasn't until Conrart lost his arm that Yuuri realized that life in Shin Makoku was no game, that everything here was as real as back home and infinitely more dangerous. The Kingdom and his advisors and rivals see him changing and think it is merely that he is maturing and growing into his crown. They think the long silences and distant stares into nothing are indicative of contemplations of what he is to do next, of how to best care for his people without alienating his nobles and neighbors, but Yuuri knows better.
The strangest things remind Yuuri of war and loss now, and the mere sight of Conrart will never cease to bring him grief. Yuuri knows that for as long as he lives, he will never forget that night, and so little by little, he withdraws. He withdraws and waits for the sword stroke to fall, because Conrart swore his arm, his body, and his life into Yuuri's service and Conrart has already lost his arm. Next time, the price will cost more than the sword arm of his most beloved knight.
Owari