"WELCUM 2 THA MARCHING BAND". Those pristine words were spray painted on the front of the school. School wouldnt start for another two weeks and I was here for band camp…

Hey, Whatsup? My names Cole Armstrong and Ill be a freshman here at Northeast High. i enjoy playing nintendo, watching movies, and pooping… hahahahha only kidding! Ever since i was a little kid, i wanted to be in the marching band… and im about to make that dream COME TRUE.

As I was walking up to the school house doors, i noticed that two junior boys who were in drum line were busy sucking on each others respective penies. HAHAHA welp, what happens in marching band, stays in marching band!

I walked up to the registration desk and there was a PRETTY girl behind it. I could tell that she was a flute player!

"H-h-hello… I'm here for b-b-b-b-b-b-band c-c-c-c-camp" i said nervously.

"Alright… what instrument do you play?" she asked.

"I p-p-p-p-p-p-p-play the c-c-c-c-c-clarinet" i said nervously.

She paused for a moment. "Really?" she said.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yeah?" i said nervously.

"Looks like you're the only boy that plays clarient in the band." she said.

"C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-cool" i said nervously.

I walked over to a quiet corner and sat alone and waited for band camp to start. I was really nervous. Was I really the only boy clarinet player in the whole band? Oh man now THIS is getting interesting.

I was sitting there all by myself when suddenly JAMES JAMESON, the lead drum major walked up to me…

"Hey, are you new here?" he asked.

"Yeah… youre James Jameson, the lead drum major right?" i asked.

"Yeah… yeah… hey, i'll suck your cock for ten dollars." he said.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no thanks?" I said.

"Alright… FAGGOT" he said as he walked away. Now THAT sure was interesting!

After about fifteen minutes of waiting, they called all of us band nerds (Hee hee) into the auditorium. Here we go I thought… my first steps to becomeing a real life marching band player!

I decided to sit near the back of the auditorium because i was nervous. I sat next to another freshman named Billy Johnson.

"Hey, billy, my names cole armstrong. Whats yours?" i asked. He didnt respond.

"Ummmmmm… okay… nice meeting you" i said.

Billy looked straight forward and slowly slipped his hand into his pants and began furiously masterbating. Oh my goodness! I thought.

"So uhhh… what instrument do you play, billy?" i asked. Billy stopped masterbating for a moment.

"Dont fucking call me billy… my true name is Wolf" said wolf. He went right back to masterbating.

"So uhhh… what instrument do you play, wolf?" i asked. Wolf stopped masterbating for a moment.

"I play the saxaphone" said wolf.

"Kewl" i responded.

The band director got up on stage and addressed the whole riled up crowd of us band kids! The band directors name was Mr. Johnson. It turns out that he was Wolf's dad! WOW HOW ABOUT THAT!

"Welcome everybody… TO NORTHEAST HIGH BAND CAMP 2013!" said Mr. Johnson. Everybody in the audience cheered. I happily joined in with the celebrating.

"As you all know, last year we came in third place at nationals… well, this year… im thinking we go for FIRST PLACE! HOW DOES THAT SOUND?" said mr johnson into the microphone. Everybody went crazy. I think I cheered the loudest!

"I want to thank all of our returning band members and be sure to give a warm welcome to all of our new freshman, eh?" he said. My mind froze… whoa… that was me… im a freshman… hes talking about me… wow… i clenched my fist and had a fire in my eye. LETS DO THIS!

Mr. Johnson told everyone where to go after his speech. He then stepped to the left of his podium, pulled down his pants and took a shit on the stage.

I walked over to the clarient group and introduced myself to everyone. Yep, I was the only boy it seemed. The first chair clarinet's name was ashley. She called all of us "Clari-bitches" and told us that it was going to be a great year. Then she told us to all go and beat up the Oboe players. I didn't want to… but i did. I sent Josh Josherson, the first chair oboe to the emergency room. Welp, one things for sure… there is no going back now!