A/N: I wrote this because the infamous road trip is what I'm looking forward to most in the next book. Read and review? Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or any of the characters. Nor do I own the infamous quote by William Goldman, a.k.a. "S. Morgenstern".
Mistaken Identity
The three cardinal rules of life: Don't get involved in a land war in Asia, never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line, and do not let a very handsome, very evil vampire, a beautiful blonde, and a Mutt… Mitt? Mitch? Whatever… go on a road trip to save said vampire's brother together.
The tension in the car was thick enough to cut with a knife. After hours of driving past nothing but god forsaken trees and dirt roads, conversation had run dry and the radio had taken precedence; that is, after the argument between the two macho males about whether rap or rock should be tuned in. The female, so obviously the peacemaker between the two in more ways then one, ruled and picked oldies.
It was going to be a long drive.
"So, before you were turned, did you eat a lot of salad?"
Damon, the very handsome yet very evil vampire, glanced up from the road to squint into the rear-view mirror.
"Huh?" He threw off his Ray-Bans to make sure the human could see the confusion in his eyes.
"Before you became a vampire, did you eat a lot of salad?" Mutt? Mike? Matt! Yes, that was it. Matt rephrased.
"No." Was Damon's brilliant response. "I was strictly carnivorous."
"Well then, did you wear sandals all the time?" Matt continued.
Damon through a glance at Elena, the beautiful blonde in the passenger seat, clearly showing through his eyes that if she weren't there, the boy in the back would be left lying on the side of the road with a pack of very hungry wolves waiting nearby.
"Boots." He snapped, getting bored.
"Did you ever wear a toga?"
"Nope."
"Did you learn a lot about Hercules and Zeus and all of them gods in school?"
"I did not go to school. I had private tutors."
"But did you learn about them?"
"No!"
"Then you must have taken Goddesses 101 or something."
"What's with all of the stupid questions?" Damon demanded, losing his patience.
Matt shrugged. "Well, I'm thinking about taking a year off from school and traveling the world. Greece is at the top of my list of places to go. So I thought, why not find out all the inside info from a real Greecian?"
Damon crunched up his nose in indignation. "I'm Italian."
"But Elena told me once that you quoted that Helen of Troy thing to her… and that whole thing with you and Stefan and Katherine… it just screams the movie Troy." Matt explained, throwing his arms around wildly.
"I. Am. Italian." Damon growled, causing Elena to giggle.
Matt just blinked.
Rolling his eyes, Damon scoffed "I knew there was a reason why I hate you."