A note from the author: I bathe in character angst, apparently. This is very short, but it means very much to both me and Rusty.

TTTT

He wasn't even sure which aspect of himself he was referring to.

Everything had become blurred, and he knew—he knew—he had so many undesirable personality traits that they were hard to count. They had been hard to count even before he ended up at the station and massively screwed everything up. Repeatedly. Now? The numbers had to be astronomical.

Everything else he had voiced to Gus had been concerns that he had come with up as a way around discussing this subject in particular. Rusty could hardly believe he had made himself say the words in the first place, but he had, he really had.

He could barely remember how he'd even phrased it—something like "What happens if, once you get to know me better, you stop liking me?" Something unpleasant churned in his stomach at the mere thought of it; the feeling coiled in his abdomen, and Rusty pressed his lips together to keep them from shaking, or maybe to keep himself from saying anything else.

And Gus—Gus had no idea, he seriously didn't. He was just looking at Rusty, like he thought there couldn't possibly be anything about Rusty that would drive him away. He had no idea; he had no clue what Rusty had done, how he could potentially screw everything up for the both of them.

"Why on earth would you think that?"

Gus was such a good guy—such a good guy that Rusty couldn't even think of where to start listing his good qualities, qualities Rusty knew he didn't have. He tried so hard to be better than his past, and it was difficult.

He started to shake his head, taking a steadying breath in order to say something in the negative, something that would call off what he was sure would end in disaster at the fault of himself.

Looking at Gus' face, into his eyes—somewhere in the head shake, he started to nod. Gus held so much hope, for everything—Paloma, Rusty, himself. Rusty had never seen somebody hold a hope so strong, hold onto trust with a grip so tight.

He ignored the fact that he was close to tears, and he nodded.

He kept nodding.