When a Broken Heart Cries
Summary: Set during "Lancelot du Lac". The roar Arthur had made resonated from his chest, deep within his tattered heart. It was inhuman, horrible, and painfully tragic. It was the sound of a broken, bleeding heart. Oneshot, Arthur-centric.
Text:
"Speech"
Thoughts
Disclaimer: Nein, I don't own anything relating to "The Adventures of Merlin". Carry onward.
~~o~~
"Do you hear that, Fezzik? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when the six-fingered man killed my father."-Inigo Montoya
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i. And so it breaks and bleeds
It was the kiss that did it.
Not the way they gazed at each other or how her fingers brushed up against the back of his hand, her touch lingering on his skin. The two of them simply being together pained him but it was nothing compared to what his screaming heart experienced when Gwen's lips met Lancelot, in an aura of bliss.
Their kiss was the final stroke that destroyed his rationale, his hopes and dreams for a future with Gwen, and his heart. He couldn't think anymore, all he saw was red. Red, red, red—just like the blood of Lancelot.
Steel was drawn, and a fiery, furious blaze in his eyes flared with life. The roar Arthur had made resonated from his chest, deep within his tattered heart. It was inhuman, horrible, and painfully tragic.
It was the sound of a broken, bleeding heart.
ii. Animal Spirit
Arthur struck first, charging ahead and crashing into him, his sword clanging against the traitor's own blade. He, Lancelot, the most gallant of all his men, betrayed him and sullied everything he held dear. The oh so chivalrous knight had dragged his dream of marrying Gwen and making her his Queen through the muck and mire, claiming her kisses when those kisses were solely reserved for him.
Treachery brought out the animal, beastly rage within Arthur and all he could think about was to sink his sword deep into Lancelot's gut, carve him out like a wild boar, and relieve his shoulders of that pretty head of his. He wanted Lancelot to pay, to share his agony, his torment, and how his heart cried and hollered for vengeance, a way to end all this pain and deceit.
Shedding his blood seemed like the best way to accomplish all that.
iii. Words spoken through swords
The battle raged on for only minutes but in Arthur's mind, the struggle seemed like it was stretching on for an eternity. He stabbed, he thrust, he sliced, he swung his sword at Lancelot, repelling and parrying his attacks with the same amount of force and rage as before.
You took Gwen! His mind shouted at the treacherous knight, who now appeared to be so smug and triumphant of his accomplishments. Their blades hacked at each other again, a deadly clang ringing in everyone's hears.
I loved her! He parried Lancelot's counterattack.
She was supposed to be my queen! He advanced and struck the traitor's shoulder with the side of his sword, causing Lancelot to wobble briefly. He then shoved him aside, making his lost his balance even more.
I trusted you! He pressed onward. Gwen's crying and beseeching remained in the background, oblivious by all.
You were the best of my knights! The noblest and most loyal of them all! Arthur disengaged, got in close, but was forced to defend himself as Lancelot regained his bearings and assailed him just as aggressively, putting Arthur on the defensive.
Gwen and I were going to married! But Arthur fought back, blocking Lancelot's sword with his own and used his strength to push back, locking the two men in a dangerous, tense stalemate. Shifting his weight, Arthur then spun around on the balls of his feet, dancing out of range.
We loved each other and you came along and ruined our happiness! Lancelot stumbled from the sudden loss of weight and force, leaving himself open for Arthur's final assault. Raising his sword once more, he charged.
It wasn't until later, after the onslaught was over by Gwen's tearful plea to end the fight and she and Lancelot were both imprisoned, Arthur began to wonder if Gwen had been truly happy being at his side.
iv. Torment as long as the night
The night was still young, dark and cruel and foreboding, as if taunting him with today's events. Instead of getting a decent night's sleep, the king of Camelot was pacing in his room, contemplating the fates of Lancelot and Gwen, rest far from his mind.
His uncle demanded for their deaths, as did the majority of the castle. Lancelot would have been dead, if Gwen didn't stop him. He still pondered why he even bothered to listen her, especially after she had went and shredded his heart with her slender, beautiful, but capable hands. Any other man would have rammed her through with his sword before doing the same to Lancelot.
But Arthur Pendragon wasn't like other men, so he spared them. For now.
v. So perfectly cracked
During his inner turmoil and troubled wondering, Arthur snaps and loses his icy calmness over the situation. He yells and blusters, eyes bright and mad, and then lashes out, slamming his fist into one of his mirrors. The glass chips and then cracks so perfectly, splintering into countless shards and fragments. Some remain in the frame, while others merely fall to the ground, quiet on their drop.
Fresh, thin trails of blood oozed out from his cuts yet the stinging is mild, not even catching Arthur's notice. He simply stares intently at the shattered mirror, his reflection distorted.
Just like his heart, so perfectly cracked and torn, its pieces littering the floor.
vi. The feeling of ultimate suffering
But the fury comes back and as if to punish his own heart, Arthur deliberately crushes one of the broken shards of glass underneath his booth. The act only brings him mild satisfaction but it's not enough. Nothing could ease the sharp, excruciating agony that aches inside of him.
The anguish he felt wasn't just from a broken heart. No, it was more than that—Arthur realized that now. The exacerbating, raw, and wrenching pain derived from that feeling of ultimate suffering, it was sound his heart was making now.
And this accursed feeling would follow him, no matter where he goes or what he does, the suffering would be there, consuming his heart. Even when he banishes Gwen from Camelot, he continues to hurt from the pain and suffering of betrayal.
Camelot and its people would eventually recover from this devastating, shocking blow but Arthur would not. Not now, not ever.
That was the cost of ultimate suffering.
~~o~~
After watching the newest Merlin episode, I wanted to capture and/or explore Arthur's thoughts after witnessing Gwen's rendezvous with Lancelot with a different a style I have seen other writers used. So I thought I'd give it a shot.
~~SpeedDemon315