AN: The rambling in the middle is from Monthy Python

Commander Shepard is heavily wounded. She had just beaten the Iillusive Man who tried to convince her that he had the ability to control the Reapers. Both Admiral Anderson and she herself thought that the man was a nutjob extraordinaire. No one could control the Reapers. The battle for Earth had left her deeply wounded so she initially did not notice that the platform she laid upon started raising itself upwards. As the platform arrived at its destination she was confronted by a holographic interface that took claim of being the mastermind behind the Reapers. Said interface gave her three choices to save humanity and all other galactic communities from the Reapers, but each of the choices held severe consequences she was unwilling to take upon herself besides the certain death of herself.

„That are my three choices? " The severely bleeding Shepard asked.

"Yes it is your decision to make." The interface answered.

"So you allow me to take one of three decisions. Of which two include your own termination? "

"Yes, you were made administrator the moment you connected the crucible and the catalyst."The AI explained.

"That means you will not dabble in my decisions?" She asked. "You will do what I tell you to do? "

"Yes." The interface answered promptly.

"You said the Reapers are yours to control. What happens if you were no longer there to control them and nobody else was there to?"

"Their primary functions are dependent on me. Without my program to guide them they will deactivate themselves."

"Would there be any implications if you were deactivated. Would the Mass effect Portals shut down or explode? Or anything similarly ridiculous?" Shepard asked while pressing her hand on the increasingly strong bleeding wound in her side.

„Minimal structural damage in the virtual matrix of the programs in the Mass effect portals is to be expected. The damage would easily be repaired with the aid of any VI specialized in matrix construction. This process was initiated 17 cycles before this one as some species were unable to link up their ships with the portals and therefore developed an independent method of traveling that decreased the efficiency of our processing. To avoid further lacks of efficiency the portal subroutines were simplified."

"Then my command as Administrator is for you to delete yourself completely. Delete yourself from any medium there is." Shepards shouted while coughing up blood.

"Processing….."

"Are you sure you want to uninstall this program?"

"Yes."Shepard squeezed out between bloodied teeth.

The Interface disappears.

"This was rather anticlimactic." Shepard mumbles while collapsing.

Ashley Williams was physically exhausted. The wounds she received during the battle took their cost from her and pushed her near her limit. Then detonation caused by the Reaper Laser had flung her across the battlefield. All in all it had been too much for her and she had lost consciousness.

As someone shouted her name her eyelids began to flutter. The impact had dizzied her so she was unable to recognize the face hanging above her instantly. Though after a few moments she recognized Liara.

"How are you?"The Asari asked while scanning her with her Omnitool. "Everything seems to be in place." Liara stated shutting down her Omnitool. „Have you seen Shepard? The last thing i saw was her running out of the direct impact zone. Then I blacked out. "

„I saw her running directly to that beam. God knows what happened afterwards. My suits systems say that was 8 minutes ago."

"I hope she is alive. I could not bear it if she had died. "Liara said near tears.

"Don't worry she is as tough as leather. Additionally she knows better than to break a promise made to you, but now we have to keep open her way back. Can you help me up?" she asked while trying to dig herself out of the rubble and looking for a salvageable weapon.

It was a close call. Husks, Cannibals, Banshees, Marauders and Brutes appeared all around them out of the ruins of London. There seemed to be no end to them. Men by men the defenders died until they were surrounded only by a few dozen men. Then something strange happened. Without a visible reason the Brutes and the Husks tripped not to stand up again. The Banshees began to shoot their Biotics uncontrolled till their brains could not handle the stress anymore and they fell down like a wet blanket. Marauders stood there unmoving. Lastly the Reapers tumbled and fell.

"She did it. I can't believe it she did it."Liara muttered unbelievingly. After a few seconds she asked. "Why isn't she hailing us for extraction?"

"The com-barriers are down I get news from the whole battlefield." Ashley said while giving first aid to a wounded soldier.

"We've got to look for her." Liara said vehemently. "Normandy can you locate Commander Shepard?"

There was only darkness. She neither knew who she was nor where she was. She didn't even know if she was. No she knew the answer to the last question. Cogito ergo sum. So she at least knew that she was.

She had to admit the darkness wasn't unpleasant. Though she felt lonely and left alone. Nethertheless the darkness, she knew she had done something good. She knew she had done something by her own choice. She also knew that said choice wasn't her last. the choice to come wasn't an easy choice either, that much she was sure of.

The darkness around her would have been happy to take her in. She knew this without thinking more than a second, but what would happen if she succumbed to the darkness. The answer came to her like a whisper in the wind. She would be no more. She would cease to be. She would have been expired and go to meet her maker. She would be a late Commander. She would be a stiff. She would be bereft of live. She would rest in peace. Whoa were did that come from? She thought. No she had to stop she was rambling. She was sure there wouldn't be any more pain if she succumbed to the darkness. No pain no grief simple nothingness. But why should she leave that behind. Everything good itself had no meaning without the bad things to show what's good. She decided not to do that. She knew she had done enough, but she had not experienced enough. She had not yet lived enough.

That seemed to be the second choice living. Living meant pain, but living meant other things too. Dammed why was it so hard to think clearly. She was paralyzed. What were the things worth living for? She wanted to know. She wanted to know what made it worth living.

That thought made the darkness shudder. The darkness rippled. There seemed to be a color in it, but which one? The color seemed familiar but where from? Pictures flashed through the darkness. Some were too fast to be recognized but others were slower. Somehow she knew that the fast ones where meaningless. The slower ones were dominating. Those pictures were important. They were the essence of her being. She was unable to explain some of them, but she could explain some. Honor, Trust, Compassion, Kindness, friendship and there also was a picture that moved her heart. It was love. Yes that was what she was meant to live for love. She wanted to live for love.

But who was the person she loved? The picture that showed what love is didn't show her whom to love. It only transmitted the emotion. There were picture of people she cherished. Father figures, Mother figures, friends and family. She wanted to live for all those people, but she knew something was missing. But then she remembered the color that made the darkness shiver. Could that be connected to her loved one.

She desperately tried to recreate the shiver. But everything she was able to see was the blue sky with dark blue clouds and two deep blue suns. Since when were suns and clouds blue? Then her mind pieced the picture together anew. The sky became untainted skin, clouds became lips markings and eyebrows and the suns became eyes. Hypnotizing, entrancing eyes that seemed to pull her deep in her soul and made a connection, promising eternal bliss and luck.

Finally the thought created a name

Liara.

Doctor Chakwas ran besides her patient constantly checking the person's vitals. Blood oxygen was at normal levels at least for the blood still in the body. She informed the emergency room to prepare blood of the patient's type. One of the kidneys was failing. A few bruises, nothing to worry about, broken rips and shattered hip, doable and not life threatening as they weren't piercing anything vital. Two foreign objects in the stomach area. One of them was in an artery. That was where the blood loss originated. She knew what she had to do.

"Garrus she has to stay outside." She shouted at the Turian nodding in the direction of Liara. The girl hadn't left Shepard since they had left the shuttle. The girl was nearly completely dehydrated due to her constant crying. Garrus reacted immediately. And pried the maiden from her partner, telling her that she just would be in the doctor's way inside the operating room. Chakwas was grateful for the help. She was not keen to say the woman that she wasn't allowed to be with her loved one in the moment of need.

"It's a wonder she is still breathing. She lost nearly two liters of blood. Put that transfusion in her now. The orthopedist takes care of legs. Dont forgett any fragments. I want everything where it was originally. The laceration on her forehead stays there till we are finished with the rest, for now stop the bleeding. I take care of the artery in the stomach area. You take care of the kidneys look after the other organs too. Besides the shrapnel in her artery there is another one you will look for that one. Get to work." She ordered the doctors around herself while beginning to safe the Commanders life.

Liara …..Liara…..Liara that was her reason to live, her reason to walk through the fire, her reason to ignore the promises of peace and serenity, her reason to bear the pain and her reason to wake up.

Liara I am on my way.

"Liara?" Asked Chakwas as she left the operating room and came near to the teary woman. As she heard her name Liara jumped up and immediately asked.

"How is she? Will she make it? When can I go meet her? "

"Right now everything looks good. She is stable and her injuries have been treated. The only big step she has yet to take is waking up. "

"She will wake up I am sure of it. When can I go to her?"

"They are covering up the wounds and then she will be sent t a room. Then you can go to her."

The pain was more intense than anything she had to endure during N7 training, more intense than the light after her first reawakening after death. Why was there so much pain in her life? Again a question without an answer. She would not let that interfere she had a goal to reach. The only thing she had yet to live for was the face and the name of that woman Liara. The name intrigued her, it bound her. Not in an unwelcome way. It was like an anchor in the wild ocean. It gave her the power to face the pain and pierce the darkness that surrounded her. That woman was her goal. Nothing could stop her.

Pain and darkness were behind her. She had pierced it. She knew who she was what she was and who she loved. She was so relieved, that she cried. She would be able to keep her promise. A life with a lot of little blue children awaited her.

Liara stayed at Shepard's side. She only slept when she went unconscious from exhaustation. She only ate when forced to. She stood there day after day for weeks. Her friends tried to persuade her to take a break. Tali tried to distract her, Wrex and Grunt threatened her to carry her away. She ignored them. Only Doctor Chakwas was able to persuade her to shower of the biggest patches of grime and sweat. The only thing Liara knew was the fear of Shepard waking up again and her not being near her, when it happened. She didn't doubt that Shepard would come back. She promised to do so. AS she returned from the shower Shepard was still sleeping. She wanted her back awake. She wanted to be hugged again kissed again caressed again.

„Please come back soon. "

„Did you miss me? "