Disclaimer: I do not own Jack. Or Ralph. Duh.
Okay. I'm like seriously pissed at all of the shit that a certain someone has been giving me for 11 years. Well I'm done with it. So, this is a little, tiny piece but of venting (I could write S0 much more...) so I don't explode in his clueless face. Asshole.
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Pure, raw, deep, hatred. That was all that Jack was devoted to when it came to Ralph. Ralph was the devil to him, someone sent on this tiny island with him to drive him slowly, completely insane. Him living in the same small, condensed place with Jack was like he--. Worse than he--. In face, he-- would be preferable to living with him. And he was over it in so, so many ways.
Every time Jack heard Ralph's voice, no matter how long or short he talked, and no matter what he does, like eating, moving, breathing, it was like someone was taking a rusty knife and dragging it over and over again on his ears. His body. His soul. He couldn't deal with it. Jack didn't cry, but every time he heard Ralph's voice, he squirmed in disgust. It made him want to sob, and run away. It made him want to run and throw himself off the cliff. But no. That would be loosing, and Ralph would win.
After a while, people would forget all about Jack. He would be no one, just someone that killed themself over a little dislike shared between two people. Well, they don't fucking understand. And they never will.
No one understands. No one gets why Jack is so... sad... angry... depressed... pissed... so... EMOTIONAL about Ralph. No one understands, and they never will. He feels alone. It's almost worse than Ralph, this feeling of aloneness. He has tried to express to people the way that he feels about Ralph, but everyone just says, "Well, he is your author talking: (brother) friend, and you should never feel this kind of hate for someone." Well, they don't know.
They don't know.
They don't...
AUG. They will never understand. It pains him to be this alone in the world. "When you get older, it will be different. It will I promise." Well, Jack smiles fakely. "I'm sure you're right." He says, and turns around to walk away.
Killing him would be the worst thing ever. He would cry more than ever, and never forgive himself. He was his friend, and somewhere, he did love (as a friend) him. But deep down. Very deep. Deep. Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep. Deep. But it's there.
Why is it that he antagonizes him on purpose? Jack is already pissed enough about everyone hating him, and Ralph knowing every little thing that bothers him is just stupid. It makes him want to cry. In fact, he does. In the late hours of the night, when no one is around. He sobs. He feels sorry for himself. It is selfish and cruel, but no one else will, so all he has for comfort is himself. It isn't fair.
If Jack could beat Ralph to a pulp, but not kill him, he would. But he can't. There is a wall in him that won't let him, and no matter what he does, the fall won't fall. It never will.
The worst thing is that Jack has no sympathy for him. His hate is true. No sympathy, no saddness for him. Maybe if Ralph wan't annoying any more, things would be different. But things weren't different.
Ralph was the most annoying person in the world to Jack, and he had to live with him. Imagine the person that you hate most in the world. Imagine having to live with him until you turn 18. He had 4 years until he was 18. If he was saved by then, he would get as far as possible from him. That day. And he wounld't look back. Not once.
The worst part is it that Ralph is nice to him. In a mocking way, usually, but sometimes he just is nice. And he knows that he had no right to be. Not from the way that he treats Jack. I't not fair. It makes people think that Jack is the bad guy. But it's all Ralph. It's all Ralph. That is the worst. Worse than knifes raking your over and over again. It's horrible.
If Jack could just move away, run away, and never come back, he would. In a heart beat. But he had friends, people he "loved", on the island. He couldn't leave them. Never. That would be loosing.
Have you ever felt the feeling of pain, sadness, frustration, blind anger, depression, and absolute and total suffering all in one second? Imagine living with that feeling whenever Ralph was around. It's horrible. The want to kill someone, but knowing that you never will because you will feel and be a horrible monster it a shitty, fucked up feeling.
What really scares Jack is that he won't ever be rid of Ralph. He will always be there, nagging at him until the day he dies. Until the day he dies, or until he escapes. Escaping the island... it will consume Jack in the near future. In the very near future. And then he'll leave, and life will be bearable. Jack will live a family with a lover and kids, but there will always be Ralph. And that's just how life is.
Friends: My family, and friends
Ralph: it says in the story
Island: home
Jack: me.