~DISCLAIMER~
I own nothing etc. etc.
A/N: This is the first time I have tried to write 1st person, rather than narrative, so it will probably turn out rubbish!
The Son I Never Had
"You know, if you should ever call my name,
I'll be right there,
You'll never be alone"
- 'You'll Never Be Alone' by Anastacia
1 – Thoughts and Doubts
I was staring into the darkness, thinking about everything that had happened since I'd met up with Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin in Bree. Who would have guessed that I would now be sitting here, in Lothlorien, on my way to Mordor and Mt. Doom to destroy the One Ring?
We'd arrived here a few days ago, having journeyed through the mines of Moria. We had there tragically lost Gandalf in the shadow, after a Balrog attacked him. I have tried to lead the rest of the fellowship, but everyone still grieves for Gandalf. Frodo has been the worst – every night he has woken after some nightmare, white and shaking. He then always begs me to stay at his side until he falls back to sleep. I feel sorry for him – he never asked for any of this, and he has ended up with the most important task of all – to carry the ring right into Mt. Doom.
I was awakened from my thoughts, which had strayed to the last time I had seen Arwen, by a scream. I immediately turned and looked at Frodo, who was sitting bolt upright, shaking uncontrollably and looking wildly around him as if some creature was about to jump out on him.
'Frodo, it was a nightmare,' I said, going over to the hobbit.
'But… but… it was chasing me… and it killed everyone else…' Frodo stammered back, trying to explain the events of his nightmare.
'Nothing's going to happen to you here.' I tried to reassure him, pulling him to my chest and hugging him. To me, he was little more than a child, even though in hobbit terms he was most definitely an adult.
Frodo buried his head in my chest, letting the tears flow down his cheeks. There was little more I could do than hug him and try to comfort him.
'Please don't go, Strider.' He begged, just the same as the last few nights.
'I'm not going anywhere,' I replied, rocking the hobbit back and forth in my arms, lulling him asleep. When he had fallen asleep, I laid him back down on the ground next to Sam, and sat by his side for a while, watching him sleep.
I don't know what made me so protective of Frodo. Ever since I first met him, I've felt as if I have to look after him. Of course, he used to turn to Gandalf whenever he was scared or upset, but now he's gone, he seems to have turned to me instead.
***
We spent several days in Lothlorien. During the day Frodo seemed to be unworried by his dreams, and spent most of his time walking about with Sam, Merry and Pippin. I am trying to think of the best thing to do once we leave here – we can't stay forever, though many of us wish we could, me included. Sam and Gimli, especially, worship this place.
During these times of reflection, my thoughts usually turn back to Frodo. Everything we do involves him, and I have to take him into constant consideration. Sometimes it worries me how much I worry about him. I look out for him, but I can't help thinking I care about him more than the others do… apart from maybe Sam. I remember how worried Bilbo was when we left Rivendell, making sure we would look after Frodo. I can understand his concern – I have no children of my own, but everyone in this fellowship is so important to me, they feel like family. Frodo, especially, feels just like a son to me.
I think back to the journey from Bree – how I looked after Frodo on Weathertop, how I helped him at Caradhras, how I helped to save him from that thing outside Moria. A thought comes into my head – would I have done the same for the others; for Sam, Merry and Pippin? Or do I just care too much for Frodo?
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Please review and tell me what you think – any ideas for improvements, tell me whether you love it or hate it! I'm desperate for reviews! If you read this, just tell me what you think… please??!! J