Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I never will.

A/N: This story is set more in modern times. So let's just pretend the ninja world has cars, TVs and all.

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A small boy sat in front of the TV, his charcoal colored eyes intently following Scooby-Doos every move. In his small and sticky hand he held an ice cream cone, the boy couldn't wind his hand around it the whole way. Long black hair fell to his shoulders.

"Itachi."

The small boy's head snapped up to look at his father who was standing in the doorway. "Yes, Papa?"

Fugaku walked over to the television and turned it off.

"We're going to the hospital okay Itachi? So you can't watch Scooby Doo right now." Fugaku tried to sugar-coat everything to prevent what was probably going to happen next.

Itachi's lower lip trembled and his eyes widened. "NO!" he yelled and planted his small body on the body. His tiny fists pounded the floor as he screamed and sobbed.

Yes. Uchiha Itachi was throwing a temper tantrum.

"I DON'T WANNA GOOOOO! I WANNA WATCH SCOOBY DOO!"

Fugaku sighed. Five year olds were so difficult. He stepped over Itachi and walked to the door. "I'll just go visit Mama and your new little brother in the hospital myself."

The minute Fugaku walked out, Itachi stopped. Papa was going to leave him alone?

Fugaku got into the car and started the engine. He smiled when he saw Itachi's small figure scrambling down the steps and hopping onto the car through the door he had left open for him.

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"Uchiha Mikoto's room, please." Itachi held his father's hand as his wide eyes widened even more. The hospital was large and quiet and he could hear a nurse's heels 'click-clacking' on the tiles.

Itachi had accidently stumbled upon 'House' when he was four. Unbeknownst to his father he had been watching it every night.

The young boy wondered how nurses could run around in heels trying to save people's lives. Doctor's always did that on 'House'. They would probably trip and fall.

Itachi had once tried out his Mama's high-heeled shoes. But as soon as he took a step he fell down and hit his head on the garage floor.

To keep from screaming he had bit his lip and his eyes got teary. When his mother asked why he had a bruise the size of a basketball on his forhead he had claimed he got it from training.

He would carry his secret to the grave.

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Itachi sat in the corner on a chair with itchy fabric. His mouth was formed into a sour pout.

Fugaku and Mikoto were doting over a bundle in his mother's arms. Itachi enviously wondered why a stupid bundle was so important.

"Come see your brother, Sasuke, Itachi." Mikoto encouraged him trying to get him to get up and get more in the mood.

But Itachi had vowed he would NEVER leave the seat.

"He's really cute. C'mon Itachi. Don't you want to see your brother?"

"No. I don't want to see him. I want you to put him back so we can go home now."

For some reason his father laughed.

His father grabbed his hand and pulled him over. "You know you want to see him."

Itachi really did want to see his little brother. Peering over the pile of blankets covering his brother he looked and saw…

THE UGLIEST BABY HE HAD EVER SEEN.

Itachi sniffed. "It's ugly!" he accused his father as if it was his father's fault that his little brother had a wrinkley and purple face. His eyes were squinted and his mouth looked puckered. It looked just like a prune

His eyes watered and he bawled out. "IT'S UGLY! I DON'T WANT IT! PUT IT BACK!"

Fugaku scolded him. "He's your brother and you're going to love him whether you like it or not."

Fugaku wasn't exactly Super Dad. I mean if you looked into the future you would be mortified by how his kids turned out. One son killed him and his wife. And the other ran to a pedophile in attempt to kill his brother. Who thought that the five year old in the room now throwing a temper tantrum, was going to grow up to be a deadly killer.

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2 Weeks Later

Itachi rolled around in his racecar bed. He couldn't sleep. Today "Stupid Sasuke" had come home. That's what he called his brother. "Stupid Sasuke". When his father heard him call his brother that Itachi was sent to his room without dinner.

He heard a loud crying from the nursery. His mom had put Stupid Sasuke's room right next to his. Itachi snuck out of bed and slid his feet into his bunny slippers. One bunny was Phillip and the other was John-William.

His small, slipper-clad feet shuffled over to Stupid Sasuke's room and he dragged a stool over and stood on it so he could see Stupid Sasuke. "John-William, don't you think Stupid Sasuke is ugly?"

"…" John-William did not reply.

"Oh I forgot. You can't see Stupid Sasuke." John-William and Phillip were removed and thrown into Stupid Sasuke's crib.

Stupid Sasuke giggled and started slobbering all over John-William and Phillip. "No! Don't do that. Bad Stupid Sasuke! Bad!"

Itachi yanked his slippers away from Sasuke's grasp. Sasuke's face turned red. Then purple. His lower lip trembled and he let out a cry loud enough all the Uchiha's could hear him. And even the nine-tail fox, who was in his little cave home awoke.

"SHH! Be quiet!" Itachi angrily scolded Sasuke. The newborn continued to cry. Itachi shh'ed him again. "Shh! Stupid Sasuke, Shhh!"

Itachi grabbed Sasuke and picked him up. Sasuke was surprisingly heavy. "Go to sleep!" Itachi rocked Sasuke back and forth like he saw his mother do. "Go to sleep" he sang over and over again. Although Itachi was tone-deaf Sasuke smiled and his eyes got droopier.

Itachi couldn't help but smile when he saw that Stupid Sasuke had fallen asleep. And now that he looked closer, Sasuke didn't really look like a prune.