She wonders if Polis is the same. The tall tower, the highest floor meant for the commander, and the commander only. She wonders if they have learned about the people who finally came from the sky. She remembers seeing them fall so vividly, she is uncertain if it is her imagination or not. She wonders if reapers still roamed their tunnels, thirsty for the blood of their own people.
Most of all, she wonders if her sister is still alive. She wonders if her younger brother is still alive as well, but with his birth defect, she knows that life would be hard for him. She regrets not talking him with her. Then, at the least, if he died, she would know he died loved. She knows her sister would never protect their brother. Not when they had the same blood of their mother, and different blood of her father.
The thought angers her, and she grasps the hilt of her sword tighter. It was not her fault that their mother had decided to love a different man. Her older sister was blind to this fact, hating their brother more than family ever should. She knew that it was not his fault. He deserves to be loved. She hopes he got it.
Horus.
She feels proud remembering his name. Knowing that he could never hear or talk is burned into her mind. If Horus is still alive, there is a little chance that he is happy, wealthy, healthy. All the things he deserved in life were taken away from him the moment he was born. When her mother wept for hours and her father drank himself to sleep. All because his hearing was gone. She remembers how Lexa reacted when they started to realize something was wrong.
He would not respond if they called his name. He barely cried as a baby or a toddler. At first, they had thought it was good. That he would be a fine warrior someday, quiet and observant. His silence had meant the complete opposite of that.
The first time Lexa had claimed there was something different about Horus, it was when he did not hear the horn. He did not bat an eye or look up when they shouted for him, knowing that there was know way the could stop the acidic fog.
She remembers yelling at Lexa, shouting every curse word she could think of before claiming that Lexa was only upset that their younger brother had a different father.
"It is not his fault!" She shouts, her hands resting on his shoulders to keep him still. She is afraid that he would not respond again and walk right into the acid fog if he opens that door. She does not want to let him out of her sight again. She will not allow it. She can not lose Horus. She has always wanted a brother. She does not care if he is different. No one should.
"He did not answer! He will be a danger to us! All of us!" Lexa fires back, crossing her arms over her chest, her finger nervously playing with the armor on her shoulder. Lexa shakes her head in disappointment, glancing over at Costia. Costia was the one who blew the warning. Yet, Lexa refuses to admit that Costia played a part. It angers her that Lexa is picking her over their brother. Their family.
"You are just angry he does not have the same father!" She strikes back, not caring how Lexa will respond. Lexa is short tempered. If it means they end in more than just a yelling match, she would not care. Not if it means Horus is safe. "That is not his fault! Go talk to mother if you are so angry about it!"
She knows that with the fire in Lexa's eyes, she did not hesitate to let her hand ball into a fist, connecting it to her face. Lexa pounces, not giving her enough time to react, and they land on the floor with a crash. She manages to push Lexa off, and she does not remember it happening, but her fingers lock around Lexa's throat, her body pinned beneath hers. They have fought before, to train. For the day they would become warriors. They never trained to do this, to turn onto one another. Especially not her sister. Lexa does not seem scared, instead they lock eyes as she feels blood drip from her nose.
How easy would it be? To watch the light leave her eyes? She will be scared at first, realizing her mistake to trust me. Then the light will slow go out.
"Hylla..." Lexa's voice is quiet and raspy. She freezes, loosening her fingers. It has been a long time since Lexa has addressed her by her name. It sounds foreign coming from Lexa now. "Hylla, please..." Hylla allows her grip to loosen a bit more, ignoring the fire running through her veins. The last time Lexa has said her name was the day Horus was born. It has been so long since Hylla has felt like Lexa is truly her sister.
Lexa has never been the grounder to admit defeat, to surrender or to plead for something. Lexa is a cold stone person who fought for the things she wanted and never let another grounder over step her.
Hylla tightens her fingers again around Lexa's delicate neck. If they kill her for hurting her own sister, Hylla will let it happen. If it means Lexa will learn to respect their brother, and not focus on how he has different blood. Lexa's green eyes show worry, but she still does not do anything.
Is she admitting defeat?
Hylla shakes the thought from her head, knowing that was not it. Lexa would never admit defeat. That is why Anya has decided that when she passes, Lexa will become commander. Even if that day is far from now, it angers Hylla that she choose Lexa. Lexa knows how to fight. She is a warrior that runs on her anger. She does not have the mind to make the decisions the Heda would have to make to keep their society together.
Before anything else happens, Hylla's head is stinging and Costia dark complexion is standing over her, anger controlling her features. Costia looks so much like her mother, Indria, Hylla is still surprised that she has the softness of her father. But Costia also knew how to fight. She only fights when necessary.
"You need to control your anger, Hylla." Costia says darkly before turning her attention to Lexa, and Hylla has to look away when Costia runs her fingers over Lexa's neck gently, right where her fingers where moments ago. Costia has fooled Lexa. Lexa cares too much for the dark skinned girl. Their mother does not seem bothered by this. Instead she mulls over Horus, locked in her room trying to forget that he is not the same.
Hylla presses her fingers to her head, where Costia hit her, and they appear again covered in dark blood. Her vision is slightly blurry as she looks around, Costia still tending to Lexa.
Horus. Hylla curses quietly to herself for forgetting about him. She swore she would keep him safe. She cannot do that, not if he is missing. "Horus!" Hylla shouts, the sound ripping from her throat. He cannot be gone. Lexa and Costia look at her; as if they feel sorry for her. That she cares for her younger brother? Hylla forces herself to her feet, storming pass the two of them,"Horus!" She shouts again, despite knowing he will not respond. Hylla throat tightens, and she swallows nervously. Now is not the time for her to be weak.
"Shut up!" Lexa hisses harshly, leaning against the wall. Even in the poor lighting, Hylla can see the small spots of discolored skin that have already appeared. Hylla does not feel guilt when she sees them. She regrets not tightening her grip again when she had the chance. She should have thought it through and pulled out her knife too. Now because of Lexa, Horus might be in pain. Horus does not understand things like this. "He's stupid! Let him die!" Lexa hisses, shaking her head again.
"No!" Hylla hisses back, letting her eyes clamp shut to think things through. Horus is missing. Lexa does not care. Her head stings, and she looses her balance, but manages to regain it. She can not give up on Horus. Why will Lexa not understand that?
"Hylla. Sit down. You are wounded." Lexa's voice has become soft again. Hylla knows that Lexa is watching her with careful eyes, waiting to see her response. Lexa has always somehow managed to make things seem better or worse than they really are. This is one of those times. She is not going to sit down. It would be her admitting that Lexa is right. Hylla can not do that. With Lexa following Anya around to prepare to be the next commander, she will not listen to Lexa. She should be the one to become the next commander. Lexa is easily distracted by Costia and is too short tempered. Hylla nearly jumps when fingers tug at her armor, and she looks down to see Horus. Costia watches the two of them carefully, and Hylla pretends that she does not hear Costia's apology.
Costia. Is it possible things have changed between her and Lexa? Hylla doubted that. Costia has made Lexa change in many ways without asking her to. Lexa would never possibly think of letting Costia go. Costia made Lexa weak. Someday, if it has not happened yet, Lexa will be hurt by Costia. Hylla remembers them arguing about Costia just as much as the argued about Horus. They argued about Costia's true motives. They argued about Horus not being a Nightblood. They argued about Lexa being the next commander.
It has been years since Hylla has argued with Lexa. Before they put her into exile, she hated arguing with Lexa. Back then, Lexa always seemed to get what she wanted; She was meant to be the next commander. Services already followed her. Everyone whispered her name and nodded in her way politely as Lexa passed by. They never agreed on anything, and Lexa followed Costia. Hylla's ideas only seemed to be whispers that Lexa and everyone else ignored. Nothing else mattered as long as Lexa had Costia's permission. Hylla would never admit it, but she once wished for a relationship like theirs. To have someone trust her the way Lexa and Costia trusted each other.
Now, Hylla wants more than anything to argue with Lexa. If it means Lexa ties her to a post again and they have to sit through three hundred lashes, Hylla would do it. Lexa is her sister. She is one of the few people she knows she can truly trust. Hylla knows Lexa's true power. Lexa has made the thirteen clans.
They argued about that as well. They had refused to work with the other twelve at first, then manage to slip easily in with the rest of their people. During their battle with the Formation, they refused to help them. Lexa saw this as a miscommunication; lack of trust based off their knowledge. Hylla saw it as a betrayal and went against Lexa's orders to find out the truth. Finding out the truth ended with Hylla being called Wanheda in small whispers and a bloody back while her people watched on.
Hylla needs to thank Lexa for that, though. If her actions had been known as a betrayal; unloyal, Hylla would be dead. Lexa claimed it as a misunderstanding and ruled her punishment as 300 lashes and exile; to never return; to never associate with them again, but Hylla has not been able to keep them off her mind. The only reasons why the clans were created by Lexa is because Costia was killed by the ice nation. Lexa has worked hard to keep their people together, and Hylla still feels the guilt of ruining that when she disobeyed Lexa's orders. Hylla will always stand by Lexa's side. Even if she disagrees; but she understands why Lexa exiled her anyways. Hylla stepped out of line, even if it was to protect her older sister.
She has been gone for too long. Hylla knows she will never be allowed back, but from what she has heard, nobody will care to much to do anything about it. Her sources have told her that they avoided a war. Made peace with the sky people and have managed to get rid of the people who threatened them in Mount. Weather. She can't wait to see how Lexa has grown as a commander. Despite their different beliefs, Hylla has always looked up to Lexa. She wishes she is as patient and smart as Lexa. Hylla doesn't trust herself when she gets angry, when her people make a mistake or an outside force does something to them, she makes reckless decisions.
Hylla can forgive someone, though. She wonders if it can make up for her anger and reckless decisions, even if they are hard to fix. She is willing to do those things.
Hylla is pulled out from her thoughts when her horse skitters nervously, and she knows another person is near. On horseback, she is a few hours away from Polis. If her horse got scared and ran off, she would have arrive early at the next sunrise. Unless she is closer than she remembers.
"Alright, bud," Hylla whispers under her breath, climbing off her horse, her fingers tighten around the hilt of her sword. "Stay here while I check it out."
She feels slightly empty as she takes a few steps away from her horse, only because it has been one of the only few solid things in her life the past few years. And it's a horse she's had for a few days. She doesn't think that counts as solid.
"Hey! Stop moving!"
Hylla freezes, letting her fingers leave the safety of being wrapped around the hilt of her sword and holds her hands up in a pathetic attempt to show she doesn't mean harm. Around a hundred yards away, she notices a girl limping up the hill. She has a weapon in her arms, a black object that Hylla recolonizes as a gun; an object that she has only seen once.
"I'm on my way to Polis," Hylla announces, studying the face of the girl. Her dark hair is pulled back, olive skin with matching brown eyes, and she can't tear her eyes away from the scrapes and discolored spots on her face. Hylla's plan was to lay low. She can get rid of the horse and make by nightfall if she truly wanted to. "You can take my horse."
Hylla knows that she's not one of her people. Not with the strange outer clothing and her weapon. If they have learned how to develop weapons such as a gun, it makes her ponder how much she has truly missed in her culture.
"I don't want your damn horse," the girl spits, her face harden as she looks away from her, and Hylla bites the inside of her cheek. "I want to know why you're going to Polis. My home. It's the only place I've been safe sin-"
The girl cuts herself off, realizing she's sharing too much, but Hylla shrugs. If she is only going to see this girl once, she doesn't care. "Polis used to be my home. I'm hoping I'm welcomed back."
"Right," the shorter girl says coldly, and Hylla wonders how long outsiders have been allowed into Polis. Has Lexa changed the clans again? Has she passed away and there is a new commander she hasn't heard about? The shorter girl turns around, looking around, and Hylla thinks of how easy it will be to rid of her while she wasn't watching. "Why did you leave the first time?"
"They didn't give me much of a choice," Hylla hesitates, but then decides it cannot hurt. A random girl is rarely a big part of her life. "I was exiled." She is surprised by her own honesty, and watches as the girl turns around again, her face seeming to be in worse shape than before. It's become a habit, letting her head dip in shame but Hylla refuses to let that happen this time. She is tired of being ashamed. The girl raises her gun slightly, aim at her chest. An quick death. Hylla's hand finds her sword again. Hylla wants things to be different this time. She wants to make rational decisions. She wants to become better, and already she is struggling, all because of some stupid girl with a gun.
Their eyes lock. Both ready to attack or defend. One with the clear odds of surviving. Hylla doesn't know which is more disturbing- that she doesn't want to draw her sword, or if it's because the girl in front of her is absolutely captivating, even with her face a blood mess. Hylla can't figure out what it is. Maybe it was the way the girl carried herself, or the way she looked pained at the idea of even aiming the gun at her chest. Whatever it is, Hylla wants to find out. Even it means it takes years. There's a pain in her brown eyes that different than any other pain she's witnessed before. The girl is a book. A heavily used one with folded and ripped pages and torn cover with a worn out spine. The pages are filled with words and the emotions that seem to be taking toll on her body with her hunched shoulders and the dark circle underneath her eyes.
The girl shifts uncomfortably, and Hylla eyes land onto her leg, remembering how she had limped earlier. Hylla can't tear her eyes away from the metal wrapped around it. She has never seen anything like it before. They always eliminated the weak ones. The ones who couldn't walk and the ones who just simply couldn't handle it and were born differently.
It reminds her of Horus, and she lets her arms fall limply at her sides. Hylla doesn't want anything from her. She even understand if the girl wants so kill her anyways.
"God, this is fucking stupid," The girl says quietly, and Hylla looks up at her, and the girl looks away, refusing to look at her. "Like you've never seen anyone who needs help with walking." She hisses and Hylla swallows roughly.
"We used to... Eliminate them. My brother can't hear. They wanted to get rid of him. Lexa wouldn't allow it, I wasn't aware that Lexa is letting it happen again. The weak ones."
Raven used to be afraid that the Ark would fall out of its orbit. A fear that nobody knows about. But it used to be the thing that was on her mind all the time. What would happen if the Ark was no longer in orbit? Would the be forced to land as a last attempt to save humanity or would they have let themselves die on a 100 year old ship?
Instead of the Ark going out of its orbit, they sent down 100 criminals. That was the last day Raven enjoyed the comforting hum of the Ark. They had basically turned the Ark into a war zone. They sent down kids to see if it was safe, only to kill 300 people on the Ark so they could live longer. Raven hated that feeling. That everything that she has done is now useless, that nothing even matters anymore.
Raven feels that again as she stands a few yards away from the grounder in front of her with her bright green eyes resting on her leg. Raven is used to people in Polis watching her carefully, their eyes clouded with sadness for something they don't even have to deal with. Raven learned how to put a wall up. She has learned for it to not get to her, to ignore the constant pain in her leg with every step she takes.
It's like the Ark going out of orbit.
Her walls don't seem to matter anymore. She knows the grounder in front of her doesn't feel sorry or is ashamed to be seen with someone as weak as her, instead she has a glint in her eyes that makes Raven worry. Maybe she doesn't care. Maybe she's just shocked that Polis has changed since she left.
"I'm not weak," Raven finally spits at her, in response to the girl previous comment. "I can take care of myself. I don't need help. They didn't eliminate me and they won't in the future. Maybe you shouldn't have left."
Raven expected the grounder to get angry, maybe pull out her sword or do whatever she planned on doing before she saw her leg, but instead the girl smirks slightly, and nods her head slightly as if she's agreeing with her. "I was wrong. My apologies." Then she turns around, reaching for her horse as Raven wipes the sweat from her eyes.
"Water? You look like you need it."
Ravens jaw clenches as she tries to contain her anger. First, she leaves Polis for a few hours so she no longer has to deal with Clarke looking at her every few moments and apologizing silently and away from Abby who keeps trying to convince Raven that she can do something else- as long as it doesn't involve her moving. Raven hates that, that her friends, her family is are the ones who seem to be affecting her the most in a negative way. Today she finally got away from it, and now she has so grounder that seems to be laughing at her. A disabled girl living in a world like this? Raven lives in a world meant for the superior. She's just trying her best to adapt to a world like this. But it's harder to live in the world for the superior when they're the ones who seem to drag her down. Everyday is a struggle for Raven. Everyday she has the same conversation with Abby. Everyday shes forced to face her battle scars, and she's tired of it. She can't handle it.
"No? No water?" The grounder and Raven sighs, tucking her lip nervously between her teeth. There's no way she will make it back to Polis with her leg before nightfall. At that point it won't matter if she has water or not.
"I want to ride back to Polis with you," Raven says sternly, not letting arms fall to her sides. If she keeps her gun up, then she still has the power between them. Right now she's the one in charge. "You keep talking about how you know Lexa. I'll let you two catch up, I just need a ride back to Polis."
Raven hates how desperate she sounds. She knows hat she made a mistake, getting angry and wandering off by herself, pushing herself to the breaking point; where to she'll never be able to take it back. She doesn't want to be weak. Asking for help makes her exactly that. It angers her, but after everything that happened with the city of light, she rather been seen as weak because she has been through a lot than be happy and feel nothing else.
The grounder cocks her head to the side, a playful smirk on her lips, and it angers Raven even more that she's taking this situation lightly. Unless it's just a part of her personality, but even then, it annoys Raven. Nobody takes her seriously. She's just used as the laughing stock of Polis.
"I think I deserve to know your name if you're asking me for help," The grounder teases, taking a few careful steps towards her, eyeing the gun in Raven's hands. "I know walking isn't comfortable with that. A horse would be nice, wouldn't it?"
"I, uh, R-Raven. My name's Raven." Raven stutters quickly, her nerves getting the best of her. She didn't plan on letting the grounder gets what she wanted, but if she was going to hurt or kill her, she would've done it already, right? Raven doesn't have anything she could possibly want. It makes sense that she hasn't been killed yet. Or maybe she has been over analyzing this entire situation and the grounder could really care less. They both want the same thing- to get home. Raven is just so tired. Mentally and physically. She's tired of waking up everyday for things to be the same. Some days, she's tired from waking up. She doesn't feel likes she belongs. She hasn't felt like she's belonged ever since she basically lost her leg. On some days it makes her wish that the Ark is still her home- because there this never would've happened. She could still happy. She could still walk. Nobody would have to suffer the way the have since they landed. She could still be with Finn.
Finn. He's barely a memory. A whisper of a ghost. Somedays Raven finds herself closing her eyes, trying to remember the way she used to be; how Finn used to be before he killed 18 innocent people and slept with Clarke. She doesn't know what the worst part is, that she can't remember what he looks like, or that those memories no longer hurt. She finds herself gripping the metal around her neck; the only memory of him. She knows he's gone. He's rarely on her mind anymore, but he's everywhere.
"I'm guessing you don't want my horse anymore?" The grounder asks, still smirking slightly as she looks Raven over. Raven has never seen a grounder this open and teasing when they first meet one. She can't tell it's part of her personality and if Raven likes it.
The smirk disappears when Raven grumbles to herself, knowing that she needs to take this offer while it still stands. Her splint creaks, and the grounder winces at the high pitched noise, covering her ears. Raven can see the terror in her eyes, and she almost feels bad. Not quite. The grounder's jaw clenches as she lets her hands fall to her sides, now glaring at the metal wrapped around Raven's leg.
While Raven finds it somewhat funny and can't hide the small smile that spreads on her lips, she wonders what could have possibly happened to this particular grounder to maker her afraid of something as simple as the sound of metal creaking. "Need help, princess?" The grounder asks gently, and it doesn't match the teasing glint in her eyes, and Raven knows the comment is to cover up her previous terror. It makes Raven proud that the grounder is aware she recognized the look in her eyes.
Raven doesn't have room to be offended by the comment as she remembers how they used to tease Clarke about it. Now, known for her title as Wanheda, Clarke is the farthest thing from a princess. Raven finds it ironic how far they have come in such short of amount of time on earth.
"Princess?" Raven asks, ignoring the Grounder's outstretched hand, most likely meant to help her mount the horse.
"You are certainly beautiful enough to be one," The grounder states, and Raven is glad that she's not looking at her, not sure if she wants to see the grounders expression. Raven always had compliments. From men. Never from another girl or teenager who could possibly mean it. She lost that when she lost Finn. "Surprised you don't have any guards."
Raven huffs exaggeratedly as her leg gets in her way, and then feels her eyes instantly well up with tears. She could deal with the stares of Polis and her people as she roamed the streets. She couldn't deal with how stupid she has been in he past few minutes, telling herself that she can get on a horse or that her leg wouldn't somehow be affected. Abby told her a while ago that the emotional trauma she went through would most likely break its way through at times like these. When she lets her mind get ahead of her body. When she gets to confident and forgets about the dead weight on her body.
A horse. I can't even get on a fucking horse. Raven thinks miserably as she tries to calm herself down. She can do this. It's an easy task that anybody can do, even with her damn leg. It was the times like these that she, ashamed of herself, missed the city of light. At least there she could be happy and have to worry about her leg. Or anything else, really. But Raven knows it's selfish, she always makes sure those thoughts stay locked away in her mind.
Raven knows the grounder is watching, probably with a small grin on her face, but Raven doesn't care. She rather have a random grounder see her struggle than see her cry. She takes a deep breath, readying herself as she tightens her grip and pulls herself up again, but it's no use. Raven throat tightens and her ears burn in embarrassment, and she's surprised by the gentleness of the grounders voice in her ear, "It's okay. I'll help."
Before Raven can protest, the grounder has her cold hands resting on Ravens waist, more gentle than her voice seconds ago. The coldness of her hands cause Raven to take a sharp intake of breath, clearly not expecting it and her actions cause Raven to shut up, her hands hard and rough, but move with gentle movements. It's a strange feeling for Raven in that exact moment. She's still not used to being touched by grounders, all of their hands strong and steady, meant to get work done. Many of them have scars on their hands as well, from all of the excessive work they do to stay alive. She's never felt a grounder with a touch soft enough to relax her, no matter how gentle they were being. The coldness of her hand leaves almost immediately, and Raven looks down at the grounder, waiting for some teasing.
Instead the grounder is rummaging through her pack again, and gives Raven to study her. She's notice that most grounders have almost all the same qualities. Quiet. Observant and confident with themselves and the way they carry their bodies. Raven sees almost the opposite in this grounder. She shifts nervously, her brown eyes glancing up at Raven and catch a glint in the sunlight. She looks away a second later, her hand rubbing against the back of her neck as she huffs, pouting slightly. It's something that Raven has never really seen, and she smiles slightly again, mostly at the newfound information that not all grounders think they need to keep unnecessary walls up. It makes her a hypocrite, but she could really care less about that.
The grounder finally holds up a flask happily, reaching up towards Raven. "Here. It is water. You might be riding a horse, but you need it." Despite the dryness in her throat, Raven is bent on not accepting any more help from the mysterious grounder. She has already let her guard down. It's the second time the grounder has offered her water, and she resists the urge of knocking it out of the grounders hands. Instead Raven decides to take matter back into her own hands.
"What's your name?" Raven questions. In a way it gives her some security. The grounder knows her name. It'll make Raven more comfortable if she knew the grounders name. Raven could just run away. She could just leave the grounder here with nothing, but she can't bring herself to it. She's done worse things I her life. But she can't bring herself to do something like leaving her here with nothing. In the moment, it seems worse than the other thing she's done.
The grounder smirks again, shrugging. "Hylla. But that's not important is it?"
"Well, why are you so bent on getting back to Polis? You said it yourself. They didn't want you here." Raven doesn't think before going on. She's sure it was any other grounder, they'd be angry and then she wouldn't have a way to get back to Polis, but she can see the grounder- Hylla- struggle for an answer.
"Lots of reasons. Some unfinished business." Hylla eventually settles for, her voice dangerously low, and Raven knows to back off. She looks away, swallowing nervously. Raven knew better than to think her luck would hold. Her leg hurts. She got on a grounders bad side. And she's miles away from Polis, the one place she's been safe in for a long time. Raven knows she has nobody to blame but herself; but she wants to blame someone else. She wants to blame Abby for ruining her leg. She wants to blame Clarke for caring so much and Lexa. She wants to blame Bellamy for her unhappiness. She wants to blame Finn, even if he's gone. Raven wants to blame him for being an ass.
Hylla mounts the horse behind her, "I would tell you to hold on, but-"
"I can handle a horse." Raven says between clenched teeth. Hylla's comment only confirms her suspicions- she's just like the other grounders. She feels sorry for Raven, and Raven hates it. She just wants to be treated normally again. She wishes she was still a normal teenager on the ark that just so happened to enjoy mechanics.
Hylla is quiet, and Raven sighs. She doesn't know why she keeps snapping. She keeps snapping at everybody, even if it was them asking a simple question. She assumes that living here finally caught up to her.
Hylla regrets letting the girl on her horse the moment her grip on the reins slow down. At first, she was surprised by how well the girl handled it, how she managed to brush off Hylla's comment with just clenched teeth. She could tell that Raven was much more angry than she let on. It made her respect her. Hylla had always wanted good control over her anger.
The second thing she regrets is not making sure Raven drank the water she offered. It was obvious that Raven didn't have enough water in her system to last another few hours on horseback. She doesn't know Raven, or care for the strange girl who claimed to live in Polis, but she doesn't want to be responsible for another death. She can see the outskirts of Polis from here, she can almost hear the lively chatter and the occasional clang of the forgers creating more weapons, and the smell of their burning firewood at night. She missed Polis much more than she wanted too.
She pulls on her reins, her horse slowing down to a stop as the almost pass the gate. Nobody was on guard. Nobody even batted an eye in her direction, and kept going along with their business. Hylla knew something was up. Maybe something happened to the commander. Maybe they were preparing for another war, and idiotically, forgot to close the gate.
Her horse skitters impatiently, and Hylla looks down at Raven. Her skin is pale, even in their poorly lit position. Hylla can't stop her eyes from wandering to her leg curiously, and notice the wound in her knee. Was it there before? Hylla can't remember. It most likely was, though. It looks like it hasn't been rinsed in s few days.
"Alright, buddy," Hylla whispers before taking a deep breath. "We're home. Let's do this."
Hylla starts to regret even coming back when she's stopped by a older woman with light hair yelling at her. Asking her questions on after the other, already looking at the wound on Raven knee. Hylla ignores the woman, and pulls Raven off her horse. She's lighter than she expected. She figured with the splint on her leg, it'd drag her down. For Raven, it probably does.
"If you don't want her to die, you'll show me where the doctors are, correct?" Hylla snaps, and she can see the fury in the woman's eyes.
"I am the Doctor. I'm the one who saved her life." She whips around on her heel, storming down the street, Hylla close behind. She finds herself praying that Raven doesn't die. She can't handle coming back to Polis and end up being the reason why people start to die again. It'll only prove Anya's point for wanting to exile her, and Lexa following through.
"Put her down here," the woman says as she throws open the door. Hylla puts Raven down carefully, watching as the woman runs around the room, grabbing random items. Hylla would offer for help, but she feels that the woman wouldn't except it, just as Raven wouldn't. "Where did you find her? She's been missing all day. We were so worried."
"She was on the outskirts of Polis." Hylla says, and the woman slows down, looking at her. It's the first thing Hylla has said to her, and she can see the woman's confusion. She's trying to piece together what it could mean.
"I told her to keep this wound clean," The woman mumbles to herself, pressing her hand to Ravens forehead, and Hylla bites her tounge to stop her from asking what happened. If it was the wound getting infected or if she simply ended up loosing too much blood. "Did anything else happen?"
It takes Hylla a few seconds to realize she's being addressed again, looking at Raven. A girl she barely knows, almost dead because of her.
"What? She uh, she refused to drink the water I offered her."
"Okay, she she's dehydrated, too," The woman whispers, then throws a flask into her hands a "Make sure she drinks some of this. I'm going to clean her leg an-"
"Who is this?" Hylla recognizes the voice instantly, the low drawl, and she flinches a bit. The last time she saw the dark skinned woman, she was helping them tie her to a post.
Hylla turns around slowly, not surprised to see Indra with two warriors at her side. Indra was never Indra without her colleagues. Hylla watches as her expression darkens, and Indra is already commanding them, "Grab her. Bring her to the commander. Now!"
"Wait, Indra! I-"
"Silence! You can go willingly or you can-"
"You bastard." Hylla hisses at the man who just chuckles to himself as he ties her wrists together. Hylla didn't want this to happen. She didn't want to cause trouble, but in this situation the least she could do is let them take her to Lexa. She's still going to cause an uproar in Polis. For those who remember her, at least. "Wait! What about Rav-"
"Shut up, bitch," the grounder says, tugging on her chains harshly. She can see Indra flinch at the sharpness of his tone, but she shakes away any doubt quickly. "You betrayed us before. If I were commander, I'd make you plead for innocence. You were foolish."
She's pushed to her knees suddenly, and two pairs of hands grab her by the arms. She can hear Indra telling them something, but misses it over her own struggling and shouting. "I did it to protect Heda! Something you wouldn't do! You're the foolish one!"
"Killing hundreds of our own is protecting the heda how?" One of them hisses into her ear, and she bites the inside of her cheek.
"I would never betray the commander," Hylla spits, knowing it's no use to fight against them. It will just give them a reason to kill her. Indra won't stop them. "Those people I killed- they were going to betray her. They were going to attempt to destroy the collation, and I was the one willing to do something about it!"
"Ryan, leave us. I can handle her from here." Indra says sternly, and both men glare at her as Indra nudges her forward. Hylla doesn't ask why when Indra pulls a sack over her head. It'll be a way for her to soften the blow for Lexa. It's been years, but Hylla feels comfortable. She should be much more worried than she is. The worst thing that could happen to her at this point is that they decide to kill her.
Indra drags her into a room, most likely Lexa's, and pushes Hylla to her knees. "Wanheda? Where's Heda?"
She barely hears a response, but judging from the gentleness of it, it's a woman. Hylla hearts start to race. When Lexa comes, she'll be facing her past. Her memories will be more vivid. When Indra decides to remove the sack, she'll be facing someone who is her future. Someone she never wished to bow down to.
It takes Hylla a few seconds to adjust to the darkness. It's darker than she expected. She was used to Lexa's rooms being warm and bright, despite how hard things were. Her eyes immediately land on a blonde girl a few feet away.
"Indra, notify Lexa at once." Is all she says, and she hears Indra shift nervously before leaving with a quick, yes, wanheda.
"Who are you?" The girl immediately questions when the door hides behind them, and Hylla catches a glimpse of her eyes. They show pain. Regret. But they also show happiness, and Hylla wonders how that could be.
"I'm the grounder that just saved one of your foolish Skaikru." Hylla snaps, and the girl steps closer.
"Who? Raven? Where'd you find her?" The girl demands, and Hylla shrugs slightly. She wasn't going to tell the wanheda. It was unnecessary information. She wants the girl to get straight to the point. Raven, in this moment is clearly not one of them. "Please," Hylla is even more surprised to hear the girl's gentle voice pleading her for more information. "I- I promised her... I promised Raven she'd be safe here. Plea-"
The door opens loudly again, followed by heavy footsteps. It's another familiar voice flooding Hylla's ears, laced with confusion and worry. Lexa walks past her as if she doesn't exist, "Klark, what is wrong? Wh-" She watches as Lexa reaches out gently, protectively, and looks away, feeling as if she has suddenly barged into her sisters privacy.
"I'm fine, Lexa. I- I just thought you'd want to see this." Clarke says simply, and Hylla looks back up in time to see Lexa whip around, her green eyes surrounded by war paint locking with hers.
"Hylla." Lexa whispers, and she barely hears herself. She feels as if some weight has been lifted off her shoulders, only for more to take its place. What does her sister return mean? She looks back at Clarke, not able to look at her sister anymore. Her sister was just another person she has somehow managed to change into a monster. Clarke seems confused that she knows Hylla.
"What, you didn't miss me, Heda?" Lexa swallows nervously, watching as hatred fills her younger sisters eyes. Lexa has grown up with Hylla's strange way of protecting herself. Most of them learn to build walls. To make someone else's strengths into their weaknesses, and Hylla has always managed to do that with a few words. The sound of the whip hitting Hylla's flesh echoes through her ears. The screams of their younger brother who didn't understand. The cries of their mother as she realizes she lost both of her daughters.
"What are you doing here?"
"I helped save a Shaikru." Hylla says, pausing momentarily, glancing over at Clarke. "One of her people. I see that the collation still works." Hylla raps out, and Lexa thinks back to all the long nights Hylla had listened to her pour her thoughts out, a world with peace, a world where future generations don't have to worry about having wars and enemies. A world where children could be safe and it was okay to love. Hylla tried her best to support her through this thinking. Lexa refused to tell Costia, which she knows surprised Hylla. But the more Lexa discussed it with Hylla, the less possible it seemed to be.
"As we hoped it would," Lexa replies, taking a step closer to her sister, folding her arms behind her back. "The Shaikru have helped us make thirteen clans, but there were some... Difficulties."
832 people. 832 of her people had to die before her and Clarke managed to find a way for their people to work together. It was too many. They were only added to the deaths she was responsible for before. Lexa watches as Hylla gaze falls onto Clarke, her eyes growing dark immediately.
"Why did you come back, Hylla? We know it wasn't to save Raven." Lexa wants her to tell her it's because she forgave her for her mistakes, or because Hylla had missed home and simply wanted to return. Lexa knows that meanwhile it might be the truth, Hylla will either brush it off or lie.
"I heard that there is a new Wanheda." Hylla spits, looking at Clarke again. "I wanted to see who had taken that title away from me."
"Lexa, what is sh-"
"Clarke, Indra, leave us." Lexa snaps. She refuses to believe that her sister has returned for something as ridiculous as her title. She refuses to believe that her sister is still the monster Lexa had made her become. Only one person has seemed to stay the same- but it payed with her death.
"But Lex-" Clarke argues, and Lexa puts her hand up, silencing Clarke immediately.
"Now, Clarke. I will call for you later. When the matter is settled." Clarke sighs angrily, slamming the door shut behind her, and Lexa focuses on Hylla again. How long has it been since they last spoke? Too long. Hylla has always haunted the back of Lexa's mind, remind her of what happened when they used to live by Jus drein jus daun.
Jus drein jus daun simply meant cruelty. A world where everyone would have to live in fear. A world where she would have to fight for her life constantly as the commander. Lexa has always believed in peace. It was Clarke who truly helped her down that path, who inspired her to truly follow what she wanted to stand for.
Jus no drein jus daun.
What would Hylla think of this change? Would she be proud? Would she turn against her, again? Even it was what Hylla though was best.
"Jus no drein jus daun." Lexa whispers, and Hylla's eyes meet hers. Hylla eyes were always the darker ones, looking more like their blood father. A man who is long dead. But Lexa remembers seeing the same look his eyes; wild and curious at her words. Their father was always surprised by the things she would say.
"Lexa, Jus no drein jus daun? You're risking all of your people to keep peace with Shaikru? By changing something we have lived by for decades? Jus no drein jus daun, all for a girl?!" Hylla roars, demanding the attention she already had. Lexa was confused as to why she was chosen for the next commander over Hylla. Hylla was able to demand attention. She is fierce. But as they got older, Lexa could see that Hylla's strange, imperfect balance of angry, loyalty and selflessness is what got in the way.
Lexa is not startled by Hylla's outburst. Instead, she removes the bonds from her sisters wrists, taking a few steps back as Hylla rises to her feet, anger radiating off of her, and it is her next words that surprise Lexa. "I want to see the girl. Raven. I want to see if she is alright. If the medic tended to her wound proper-"
"Abby is the best medic we have," Lexa says, cutting Hylla off swiftly. She can still see the anger in her eyes, but her body is less tense. She is tired. She needs rest, and Lexa is willing to give those things to her. For now. "I will have a guard show you to your room."
"I remember where my room is."
Ignoring Hylla's comment, Lexa goes on, folding her arms behind her back, knowing that once this choice is made, she can not take it back. No matter how her people will react. "Rest, Hylla. At dawn, I will announce to our people that you are no longer banished from our lands as a betrayer. Jus no drein jus daun."
Lexa watches as Hylla grasps at the true meaning of Jus no drein jus daun, watching as the fire dies completely in Hylla's eyes.
Tomorrow, Lexa tells herself as Hylla leaves, only for her place to be filled by Clarke. Tomorrow, things will be different.