I Died When I lied

by OrneryTexan

Poem about RJ's inner torment about his actions.

I Died When I Lied

I never meant it

I thought no one would get hurt

They would be unaware and we would continue with our lives

I do regret, I do regret, oh how I regret

But I think I died when I lied

I never meant to take advantage

I just wanted to repay a dept

I guess even if it did come with a cost

It's my entire fault

Because I died when I lied

I just can't help myself

It tears me inside

To the point where truth confuses lies

I lie then die

I was already dead

I died when I lied

It's too late

I wish I could turn back time

I'm just a selfish son of a bitch

I blame only myself

I hate only myself

I deceive only myself

I delude only myself

I betray only myself

I'll kill only myself

But I'm already dead

I think I died when I lied

My spirit has been crushed

I'm hollow now

Surrounded by a family I don't deserve nor had

An invisible family member not deserving of love or trust

I abused the word trust

Truth has abandoned me or did I abandon it

Either way I died when I lied

I betrayed, I deceived, I don't look back

I don't deserve anything and death would be too kind

Truth becomes lies, then everything dies

It dies because it lies

that's why I died

Because I lied