This is my first :posted: fanfic about a live action television show. In fact, there are a few firsties in this. This is also an mpreg— not for a good few chapters yet, don't worry, but I have never written one. I plan on doing it as. . . erm. . . Realistically(?) as it can get :D Please give it a shot. I would like feedback on how I handle it. This first chapter is written in Castiel's POV, but it won't remain that way. The majority of this fic will be written from Dean's.

UPDATE: This chapter is revamped and was originally written in present first person tense. I've updated it to past third because that's how the rest of the story is. I have made a few changes, but nothing very significant.

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His name was Castiel, an angel of the Lord—Well, he was until he made the worst decision of his very existence. He couldn't consider himself an angel of the Lord any longer, for he defied Him and tried to take His name. Castiel had sinned in one of the very worst ways. He considered himself on the level of Lucifer at this point. He had veered so very far off the path of righteousness that the angel truly believed he should have been cast into Hell just as he was.

What he couldn't understand was why he was standing there on one of the many sidewalks of Minneapolis, snow falling around him and the bustling city not even aware of the fact that an abomination had suddenly appeared. Castiel assumed he must have been brought back from death by God or some other powerful being, for his Grace and wings were both perfectly functional. He should have been dead. God should have wanted him dead, but there he stood. The angel's vessel, Jimmy Novak was in one piece when he should have been in numerous. What became of the leviathans? Why wasn't he being punished? The situation was becoming more and more incomprehensible to him as he stood there, so Castiel decided that dwelling on it wouldn't get him anywhere. He briefly dug inside of his trench coat pocket to find his cellular phone. It wasn't destroyed and, as he soon discovered, was still in full service—another mystery the angel filed away in his mind to solve later.

He made to dial the first number that came to mind, his finger paused over the dial pad, remembering the things that had transpired before he died. Dean and Sam would surely want nothing to do with the angel anymore. Why should he expect them to want to continue communications with him after he betrayed them so? As he pondered this, he found that the phone was already ringing. Castiel must have finished dialing before he even realized it. Well, it wasn't like he'd pick up anyways—

". . .Cas?" Castiel was mistaken. The sound of the elder Winchester's voice caught him momentarily off-guard and his borrowed heart skipped a few beats. He felt several warm feelings wash over him, and at the moment the angel couldn't place them. For some reason those feelings were stronger than he'd ever felt them before.

"Hello, Dean, it's me."

"What the. . . Shit man what the fuck? You're alive?" Never did Castiel expect profanity to give him such a strong sense of relief.

"It is an occurrence most unexpected. Don't worry though, I understand if you no longer want anything to do with me. Regrettably, I'm sure I've destroyed all trust you had in me. You're probably pissed, as you humans say."

"You're damn straight I'm pissed! What the fuck Cas? If you show up here I'm gonna kick your feathery ass," Castiel heard the muffled voice of Sam shouting Dean's name, a struggle and then Sam's voice.

"Cas is it really you? Is it a dream? Get over here now, okay?"

"I assure you it's not a dream, and. . . you still have the carvings on your ribs,"

"Right. . . Well we're in Minnesota right now, We're at a Holiday Inn in downtown Minneapolis. We're in room 13," Castiel prepared to fly when he realized that he was standing right in front of the previously stated hotel. He was finding this exceedingly more suspicious the longer he was there. He was willing to let the fact that he was in the same state as the Winchesters pass for a coincidence, but that he was standing outside of the very hotel that they were staying in, well that was hard to ignore. It was becoming obvious that this was being orchestrated. Castiel had every inclination to believe that it was by the force that brought him here.

"I'm standing right in front of it. This is very baffling," And with that he flew, easily making his way through the concrete and plaster. He appeared in the room of the two boys, startling them both.

"Cas!" The younger Winchester was the first to move, trapping Castiel in a tight embrace. An uncomfortable feeling of guilt and pain washed over the angel as he looked at Dean over Sam's shoulder, arms crossed and a scowl on his face. He was again confused by his feelings. He wanted desperately to sort them out, but the man tightly wrapped around his form was monopolizing all of his attention. Sam spoke, his voice barely above a whisper."We really missed you, man. . ."

"I missed you too. Both of you. It feels like just yesterday I was parading around the world as "God" and trying to do His bidding, But I assume time has passed since then," Castiel stepped back and fell to his knees, bowing his head. "I owe you both, the world my sincerest apology, but even that isn't enough. I—"

"—Look, you're here now and you know that what you did was wrong, right?" Castiel nodded at Sam, his brow creasing. He didn't understand. "You're still one of us Cas, you're still family here. Team freewill and all that." Cas heard Dean snort bitterly, still brooding in the corner. He took Sam's proffered hand, righting himself and smoothing out his coat, his blue eyes never leaving Dean. The hunter looked so forlorn and it was all Castiel's fault. Sam looked at his brother and shook his head, looking back at Cas. "Just. . . Ignore him alright? He's-not dealt too well with the whole you dying thing, so try to cut him some slack," Castiel was baffled at how the brothers had completely thrown caution to the wind and let him back into their lives so openly and enthusiastically. . . Well Sam anyways. He couldn't really blame Dean for his hostility towards him. It wasn't like Castiel expected this reunion to be easy. After all Castiel had done? It was a wonder they were even talking to him? He didn't deserve forgiveness. "How have you been? What has happened while I was away?"

Sam filled him in on the takeover of the Leviathans, Dean staying silent the whole time. He didn't realize what a crushing force they would be, staging an absolute takeover using sheer intelligence in such a strategic way. The "Army of Dick" was growing stronger and more powerful every day, however the death of Bobby had been the turning point of it all and now the boys had a plan. They were still in mourning, he could sense, but he knew that their drive to defeat the Leviathans, or "Big mouths" as Dean would call them, came from Bobby's sacrifice. They wouldn't let his efforts to tell them the vital piece of information before he died be in vain.

"I vow to help you in any way that I can," Sam patted Castiel on the back, grinning from ear to ear, still in awe upon his appearance.

"I know you will dude," Sam pulled the angelin for a half-embrace. As he did so, Castiel met Dean's green eyes. They were filled with so much emotion that the angel had never heard him express. It was as though he was saying a thousand words with just his eyes. Inside there was pain, regret, and surprisingly longing. What Castiel would have given to peak into his thoughts right then, but he'd promised him long ago that he wouldn't do that again. Castiel intended to honor that promise.

::

Dean was a verbose, very clingy drunk, Castiel decided. A bottle of Jack Daniels later and both the Winchesters are inebriated beyond comprehensible thought. Dean had just started singing some 80's rock song at the top of his lungs, and Sam was crying his eyes out, muttering about how it was the most beautiful song in the world. Deans hooked his arm in Castiel's and attempted to stand them both up, apparently completely forgotten about his previous enmity towards the angel. He tripped and when he stumbled, Cas caught him mid-fall.

"Perhaps it is wiser to sit," He suggested, not really expecting him to listen. He found himself correct as Dean just fell into his chest, laughing loudly.

Sam had decided that now had been a good a time as ever to shove aside worries about who brought Castiel back from beyond and celebrate his return with copious amounts of alcohol. Castiel had a beer in his hand, but he didn't really care for it. For the angel to become adequately intoxicated, he would have to drink through at least two liquor stores. He didn't much care for alcohol just to drink it trivially.

"Oh man," Dean started, gripping onto the lapels of my coat. "'member when you were watchin' porn that one time an' got a boner? Shit was so funnnny!"

"I do recall watching the adult movie, the end result being arousal, if that is what you're inquiring, however, I do not find the humor in this event," Dean just howled louder.

"Dude, you got a boner! In a room fulla dudes! Tha's friggen h'larious!" Castiel looked at Dean in question.

"Why was it so?"

"'Cause yer an angel 'n you could be gay causa that, righ? Well 'less you were lookin' at th' chick's boobs, then thas prolly being straight but whatev'. . .don' care. Still thought it was fuckin' hot. . ."

"Hot? As in the temperature?"

"No. . . As in yer body. When ya stood up, I mean, cont'ry to pop'lar belief I can appreshiate a good lookin' dude." Dean's words slurred and it was becoming difficult to understand him. But, using a bit of Grace Castiel could read what his mind was trying to relay. Apparently, Dean was amused that Castiel, an angel of the Lord, was still able to achieve a state of arousal, and from porn no less, and in a room full of men. He also. . .

"You found me arousing?"

"I dunno. . . 'Kinda, It was somethin' I'd never felt before for a dude. . .Still duhno wha' to thin' of it. . ." To think that Dean Winchester could think of Castiel in a sexual way was completely preposterous. Dean, womanizer of womanizers, feeling romantically inclined to another male? It didn't bode well. The angel couldn't even comprehend it.

Suddenly, he was staring into green and he realized it was Dean, not two inches from his face. His eyes looked hazed with liquor but they were still the same deep green that they'd always been.

"Dude your eyes. . . so fuckin' blue," He said, as if seeing Castiel's eyes for the first time. Castiel felt his face get warm, the proximity for once, making him uncomfortable.

"Yes, I'm glad to see that you can still perceive colors," He tried to push Dean back but he just gets closer, so close that he could feel his alcohol tainted breath on his lips. Castiel quickly looked at the other brother, who had already passed out on the sofa, leaving Dean and him on one of the queen sized beds.

"No I mean like. . . fuckin' blue. . . I've missed it," Dean missed his eyes? Before the angel could ponder on the revelation, he could feel something poking him in the stomach and he looked down to see an obvious tenting in Dean's sweatpants. He was aroused. This was oddly. . . unnerving.

"Dean. . ." He said, cautiously, decidedly not looking into Dean's thoughts. He was sure he would be better off not seeing it, even though he could barely resist the temptation. Sober Dean wouldn't want him looking. He knew that much. "Why don't you lay down and get some sleep? It's late. . ."

"Jus' a minute. . . I wanna see sumthin'. . ." Dean pressed closer and closer until their lips were mashed together, Dean stumbling, unable to hold up his own weight. Dean's pelvis was ground against the angel's midsection, and he ground it harder, turning their lip mash into a sloppy, drunken kiss. Dean moaned into Cas's mouth, his breath hot and reeking whiskey but Castiel realized quickly that he didn't mind in the slightest.

He could feel the beginnings of arousal stir low in his belly and he knew this was starting to get dangerous. The feeling was stronger than it was even when he was powerless and Castiel wondered briefly why that was. He was still an angel and it took a lot for angels to become this aroused. A few sloppy kisses shouldn't have done this to him. His mouth opened so he could talk some sense into Dean, but suddenly his mind was numbed upon feeling Dean's tongue enter his mouth. After a few failed attempts he found Castiel's and tried to get it to react. Castiel was having a hard time denying him. His pants were becoming tighter with every drunken moan he felt against his mouth. Lust was a particularly sneaky sensation, the angel surmised, for it was very hard to control and came at the worst possible time.

His newfound erection was becoming uncomfortable with Dean's weight on it and Castiel tried to shift them into a more accommodating position. Their waists ground together by accident, eliciting a sultry moan from the other man that shot like a bolt of lightning down the angel's spine and all the way to his cock.

"Mmm. . . Cas," Dean started slowly, clumsily rocking against him, rubbing their cocks together, making the angel's face heat up, his breath coming out shortly in pants. Castiel had never been touched like this before. Dean's face, his voice, his touch. All of it was turning on responses the angel didn't even know he had.

"Damn it, Dean. . ." Frustration gathered tightly in his brow. He couldn't seem to shake the haze of arousal from his senses. Dean was being very. . . enticing, even as inebriated as he is. His moaning was growing louder and breathing more ragged and if Dean didn't stop, Castiel didn't know what would happen.

"God. . . Feels good. I missed you. . ." Castiel's heart swelled and he felt arms wrap around his neck as Dean ground himself harder against him, his hot breath ghosting over Cas's neck. Sounds were escaping his mouth that he'd never given permission. This closeness. . . The feel of Dean Winchester just everywhere. It was indefinable. Dean was right about one thing, it felt very, very good. "Uhn. . . Cas Im'unna. . ." The Winchester started rolling his hips into Castiel's faster, making the angel grip the sheets beneath as the pleasure spiked. Dean pressed their lips together again moaning into Castiel's mouth. Castiel kissed back, sucking on the hunter's tongue wrapping his fingers around his waist, meeting his desperate thrusts. Words failed Castiel as the pleasurable sensations exploded inside his brain. Dean's voice was strangled and breathy as they kissed, his hips jerking out of rhythm.

Suddenly the motion halted. Castiel tried to bury the niggling feeling of disappointment as Dean slumped against him, boneless. It wasn't even a minute before Castiel heard light snoring and he sighed, still sporting a painful erection. He rolled Dean onto the bed, suddenly noticing the obvious stain on the front of his pants, realizing that he just achieved orgasm. Castiel's face seemingly burst into flames and his erection throbbed painfully in the confines of his pants. He was unsure of what to do about this situation. He knew the mechanics of sex, but one needed to be conscious to do it, and doing it in Dean's drunken state, well that would be like rape.

There was also masturbation, but Castiel was rather unfamiliar with this act. However, the painful throbbing between his legs was there and it didn't seem to be dissipating any time soon. He had to dosomething. This was much worse than the time he'd first experienced pornography.

He tried to will it away with Grace, but that only seemed to make the need even stronger than before. Castiel winced as he stiffly walked to the other bed. He was going to have to try it. There was nothing else he could think of.

He settled into the bed, unbuckling his belt and pulling down his pants, freeing the hot hardness that was Jimmy Novak's phallus. It was sporting an angry purplish hue and Castiel didn't think he could wait any longer. He wrapped his hand unsurely around it, trying to remember the mechanics of this, and gently rubbed it up and down as it was quite sensitive at the moment. Castiel imagined that if he were not careful it would hurt a great deal.

But the rubbing alone didn't do anything. Why wasn't it working. . .? He'd read about human masturbation and it was a fairly simple process but. . .

Right, the thoughts. One had to be thinking about arousing things while doing it or it wouldn't work.

Arousing things. . . There was the pizza man. . . But that's wasn't arousing Castiel at the moment. What had gotten him into this state was the man laying on the other bed, snoozing. But for some strange reason Castiel felt guilty at the thought of committing this act while thinking about him. Especially when he was not even six feet away from him. Not after the lewd, drunken act Dean had just performed with him. . .

Suddenly Castiel felt a sharp sensation of pleasure at the memory, much like that of which was felt on the other bed. He supposed he would have to shove his guilt aside for now and dwell on it later. The need was suffocating. His grip tightened on his penis, rubbing slowly up and down as he thought about Dean's hot, perspiring body pressing tightly against his, his cock rubbing against him as lewd sounds spilled from his pink, full lips as he sought his climax. . .

The lewed images, the dirty words in his mind painted him a picture that seemed much more obscene than it had been in real life. Castiel's mouth opened emitting completely unnecessary, yet necessary gasp at the thought. Dean was a very attractive human, Castiel decided. He was intrigued at how his aroused state of mind was just intensifying every attractive feature he had. From his long eyelashes to sun-kissed, freckled skin, Dean looked flawless in the angel's mind, even though in reality he knew how worn the hunter was to the core. Through Castiel's sexual haze, He could see nothing but perfection.

Suddenly the illusory Dean in his mind moved from his lap and started to crawl down, kissing the angel's body as he doid so. Castiel thought briefly to the adult film he'd watched and he realized that he'd stolen this scenario from there and replaced the woman with Dean. He trembled in anticipation as he realized what was coming next.

Deans fingers had moved to his groin, petting Castiel's erection idly, looking up at him and smirking. Castiel mimicked the action in his mind with his own hand, making it feel like Dean was actually doing it. Such a wild deception, masturbation was, yet so sensory and powerful.

"Dean. . ." Castiel couldn't help but mutter, His voice was low and raspy and foreign to himself but he didn't really care at the moment. Castiel wanted. . . He wanted Dean to make him feel it. Feel everything. Castiel wanted to know what an orgasm was like.

And suddenly the haze cleared and Castiel realized that this was something big. This was something special, and he-he didn't want to spend this significant mile stone of his experience in humanity alone and have it go unnoticed. He would prefer to share this with someone close to him. Doing it by himself seemed a bit. . . was lonesome the word he was looking for?

Castiel's eyes dart to Dean who was currently in a deep drunken slumber on the other bed. If he had to choose, he would want it to be with him. But that didn't really seem possible unless he was intoxicated, and as Castiel noted before, that would be almost as if he were forcing himself on Dean. Even if Castiel were to-engage in indiscretions with Dean Winchester, the angel would want him to be rapt and alert all the while.

While speculating on this, Castiel's erection seemed to have become more. . . manageable and he was able to calm his senses. That was it. Castiel wouldn't engage in sexual acts unless it was with Dean Winchester, fully attentive and willing-which would never happen, but it was what the angel decided. Thinking about doing it alone was actually having a negative effect on the arousal and soon he was free to fly away and ponder on these new emotions he'd experienced that night.

Castiel took his leave in hope that someday, Dean will stop hating him.